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Queen: The Magical Wedding Band…



dreamstime_m_9125431I have always wondered to myself why it makes a difference what a lady’s status is. And no, it is not over flogged if some people still haven’t got the story. Let’s keep telling it until maybe 70% of the people around us sound and act accordingly.

So, I had lost my wedding ring for some years now and I couldn’t be bothered because I don’t need a reminder to let me know I am married and unlike some other people, I don’t hold a wedding band sacred. For me, it is a ‘nice-to-have’ and not necessarily a ‘must-have’.
If it is a must-have for you, it is fine. This isn’t about how much value you place on your ring. It’s deeper and more serious.

Back to the gist.  Before I lost the band, I will agree it worked wonders for me in the way people related to me. I would enter a company for a meeting request (I’m in sales) and the receptionist or PA will act so right once he/she spots my wedding band. (The ‘MA’ was endless).

Also, I remember walking into a meeting room with about 5 executives waiting to speak with me and when I opened the door, you would see a disappointing look on their faces almost screaming and pushing me out as I carefully and gracefully took my steps.

I assume they were thinking how I would make such a huge sale alone, or maybe how I got to be the one doing the job or perhaps they were asking themselves what I was doing there alone… “Does she think it’s all about being a fine girl? Please we need some serious looking men in here, they were probably thinking.

Usually, I get so angry and want to prove a point and sometimes I am allowed or at least listened to carefully before judging; but most times as in this scenario, they were not ready to listen. Some even went as far as asking, “Are you sure you can handle this meeting? “We need a knowledgeable person”… blah blah blah
(I mean, how can you tell someone can’t handle a meeting or how shallow the person is just by seeing them? HOW?)

So, while these irrelevant questions continued,  I wiped my left hand magically on my face to show my ring finger and they suddenly started acting right and using Ma’am or please or thank you or at least asked relevant business questions sitting straight.
But why?

Anyway, like I said, I lost my ring in at least 2 years and so, I don’t have a magical wand to wave to make people at least shut up and listen first; and it gets to me when I must fight twice as hard to convince people professionally just because they think I am either not responsible for the growth in my career or got the meeting in a dishonourable way or worse can’t hold a conversation (all of this just by sight).

I’m just going to ask us to lift our cups to cheer to a world that truly gives a fair playing ground to both unmarried female and married ones. Hopefully, we get to experience that world.

P.S What a lady knows doesn’t change – whether she has a ring or not. Respect every lady and let them worry about their personal lives.

Photo Credit: Carla Booysen |


  1. Tusman

    November 18, 2016 at 1:54 am

    Hmmmmm that’s African society for you. The ring indeed does not determine if you can get the job done or not but it commands respect.take it or leave it, it wards off a lot of preys and it’s part of your covering/ shield

  2. Tell me

    November 18, 2016 at 5:39 am

    bullseye! and all the finger gestures that come with my fellow married females whew! girl! cut it!

  3. Rubby

    November 18, 2016 at 12:24 pm

    U hit the nail on the head in a way AV been crying silently about…d disrespect when they don’t see a ring,if u r not careful u become an angry unmarried female from constantly have to demand to be treated at least fairly if not right,I had to stop going for estate monthly meetings cos,it’s was like ur contributions were not valuable coz u are single or the married women if any comes looks @ u as if the only reason u come for the meeting is to be visible to their men….or the married men think that since u r single,u must be so desperate to want a hide and seek relationship with their pot bellied selfs,unfortunatel,now sometimes I question my motive for wanting that ring….for luv or for freakin society…the jury is still out…

  4. Tosin

    November 18, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    My people are doubling and tripling the pressure on me to give them a marriage or a wedding or I don’t even know what all this nonsense is about. Nobody should vex me abeg. If you’re married, congratulations, leave my own life story alone. These silly expectations, they can make somebody miss road. Me, marry, who, why, from where to where?

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