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On Becoming: “A lot of things don’t add up” – WATCH a New Episode of “The Iyabeji Show” on BN TV

BN TV

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Another episode of The Iyabeji Show is out.

On this episode, Precious Richard-Okon shares her opinion on the most talked about book in Nigeria in recent times – On Becoming – written by media personality, Toke Makinwa.

“A lot of things don’t add up,” she says. “…It feels a bit disjointed to me,” she added.

She also asked: “What did you become?”

WATCH:

47 Comments

  1. Ec

    December 11, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    I will wait for comments. Can’t use up data

    • funmi

      December 12, 2016 at 4:29 am

      at the end the book was really just a scorned woman airing what she belives is her truth ……her because there are always 3 sides on the story and in this case 4 sides of the story

      no substance, no diginity , no self esteem and a determination to report Maje to the world as a pay back are reaĺly what i got mainly form this book . i hope Toke finds her closure so we can rest

    • pita

      December 12, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      Smiling 2 d bank……..best Closure ever!!

    • Abi

      December 12, 2016 at 11:22 pm

      Please who is this chic orobodiva? I love her energy. My kind of chic.

  2. bruno

    December 11, 2016 at 10:15 pm

    bellanaija pls help us summarise. no data to waste. this is Christmas period things are cost. LOOL

    • Someonecute

      December 12, 2016 at 12:28 am

      Summary. According to her, The book lacked substance, she learnt two things from toke’s “gist” though 1. Financial freedom and 2. You can’t please the world. The book was more or less like a gist. No closure, as in, are they still fighting? Friends? In the book Toke said he will hear from her lawyer. On her bday a guy showed up as a surprise, people said he was maje, so where are they really at? So is there a part two to this her story. In her opinion, the book is still ‘becoming’ sef ? She also thought there were some disjointed facts here and there. E.g how do you wake up 4:15am to get ready for a 5am show? All in all, she expected more from the book not just a corroboration of an already existing gist/gossip.

  3. Mimi

    December 11, 2016 at 10:21 pm

    Aunty Precious, you yourself – what have you become? You should go back and read the book, this time using a brain sharpener; maybe that will help you understand her message.

    • Pipa

      December 11, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      Mimi. You are rude and lack sense. She even stated in the video than when you read the book let her know if she was wrong. Also stating that this is her own opinion.

    • Marie Antoinette

      December 11, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      Dear Mimi, truth be told, there was just one message in that book, FINANCIAL FREEDOM! shikena! And Precious got the message alright. Other than that, we all just got invited to a PITY party.

      And before you cuss me out, I have gone through worse than Toke, difference is I was strong enough to rise above it and walk away but I didn’t have the celebrity status to make a windfall from turning my experience into a ‘bestseller’. I can only thank God for Jesus!

    • nnenne

      December 12, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      + Marie Anthonette….
      That you didn’t , doesn’t mean no one should.
      We are all different.
      Even if Toke made a mistake, she left a memoir for young ones to learn from. Someone has to be brave enough to break the circle of abuse, disrespect that African women go through , day in, day out. Someone has to break the silence.
      As for maje, who said he can’t write a rebuttal? Anita Solomon is used as well. A lesson for young girls.
      Let the conversation begin:

      1. Respect for African women in relationships
      2. Too much emphasis on marriage
      3. Young girls being taught ,from an early age that they got the power to be whomever they want to be and should not be defined by a man.
      4. Society teaching us that a good marriage / relationship is beautiful but not just any marriage / relationship.
      5. Society teaching us, that it is okay to walk out if things don’t go well in our relationships. It is never a do or die!
      6. Young men/ women being taught that , dating, having a child does not mean that you have ownership over the other person.
      7. Young ladies learning that having a child for a man does not mean that he automatically belongs to you. ETC.

      Again, thanks Toke, for being brave enough to start these conversations. The hush, hush through the generations has not helped any one.

  4. Marie Antoinette

    December 11, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    Lol! I had loads of questions about the ‘hows’ too but who I go ask?
    That 4:15am part, I just assumed she lived next to or in same building as the radio station or she’s super fast at getting ready.

    Patiently waiting for Prof. Wole or Chimamanda to review ‘On Becoming’

    • The Real Oma

      December 11, 2016 at 10:44 pm

      No hon, neither Chimamanda nor Soyinka would be reviewing it; it is not exactly their kind of literature…

    • LEM

      December 12, 2016 at 7:12 am

      LOOOLLLL! That’s mean mehn ! Hahahahaha!

    • Bolu

      December 12, 2016 at 3:37 am

      Are u for real!!!? How can u mention those name when it comes to reviewing this book. LOL

    • Darius

      December 12, 2016 at 9:32 am

      Marie was trying to be funny…..I get the humour.

    • See

      December 12, 2016 at 10:15 am

      Very funny. Hahaha, this book is about gist. It doesn’t even pretend to have any literary qualities worth mentioning. As far as literature goes, the book won’t make a publisher’s assistant’s desk. It is all good, its just not that type of book.

      Ok, as per the 4:15 to 5 am, very possible if she lives close to work. I can to my place of work exactly 25 minutes after I get out of bed. Don’t assume she does her full make up to go to the studio o!

    • pubperson

      December 12, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      Er. I work in publishing- and THIS IS THE KIND of book publishing firms are after. Books that will affect the bank balance and create a buzz. Toke did not set out to write literary fiction. If that horrendously written 50 shades of Gray can get pub deal… then know its about the bottom line.

    • Abi

      December 12, 2016 at 11:27 pm

      @nnene, I’m 23 and not married so I guess I’m one of the young ones? What exactly am I to learn from this? How to be so desperate that I compromise myself to such a fundamentally low level that I have no choice but to throw ALL my cards on the table? I cannot be fodder for gist. And if this is about making money, I think there are jobs for that kind of thing.

  5. A Real Nigerian

    December 11, 2016 at 10:33 pm

    Why is the audio of this clip so damn poor? WTF

  6. A Real Nigerian

    December 11, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    If you wanna make a video criticising something, just make sure that f#$%king video has good sound. Complete waste of time.

    • Anoy

      December 12, 2016 at 4:22 am

      your comment made me watch the video….o please u such a drama queen or a fibber….the video was fine

    • pita

      December 12, 2016 at 3:39 pm

      Obviously watched it on a kpalasa fone……little wonder d poor quality audio!

    • Loni

      December 12, 2016 at 11:30 pm

      The audio is fine on my iPhone 7.

  7. los

    December 11, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    Hmm abeg toke pls stop playing the victim card. U walked into this relationship with ur eyes wide open and u clearly saw d writting on d wall . Maje cancelled a registry wedding twice and until u force urself down his throat . I once had a friend who said her boyfriend used her laptop to order five bunches of rose for girls as valentine gift. She only got one, and despite all these she carried on dating the guy with d hope that he will change until he dump her then she wants to play d victim card. When Anita became pregnant , toke.confirm ed d news on her blog and she put on a brave face. Few month down d line she attended public function with maje dancing with him.and displaying some PDA. In fact bellanaija tag them as “couple goals ” . Imagine yeye they smell.

    • nene

      December 11, 2016 at 10:50 pm

      gbam

    • Marlvina

      December 11, 2016 at 11:11 pm

      Truth is, we really dunno the meaning of “couple goals” anymore. ?

  8. edi

    December 12, 2016 at 1:41 am

    Everything she said is 100% correct…

  9. Sisibukky

    December 12, 2016 at 5:01 am

    OMG! I loved everything about that video and what YOU said is the TRUTH. I’ve been saying that the book really doesn’t hold substance, was poorly written (maybe in a rush to tap into our curiosity before time gets us uninterested) , what has she “become” in her 30’s a little too early?? and in my opinion oo it was really just a money making venture as her staying through all that crap was truly about keeping up appearances as her unwillingness to let go of all Maje was for : validation to her blog followers that she could keep a marriage, belong to the upper class and be with an IJGB/fresh guy husband.
    p.s I Love Iya ibeji’s eloquence (not forced accent like some others)! definitely going to subscribe

  10. Ronke

    December 12, 2016 at 6:51 am

    Aunty what about your own life? Does it add up? If everything “adds up” you’ll say she’s a pretender. Just shout up and take a seat. Leave the young lady alone

  11. word

    December 12, 2016 at 8:16 am

    Havent read the book, cant care less but on waking up at 4;15, It might and infact it is possible that she slept in the hotel and the event is happening in that same hotel’s hall, I found out many celebrities do that especially musicians and hosts when ever they have big shoes, in places like eko hote, oriental, etc. They book rooms, I guess she could make the event. Make up can take forever lol. She probably already showered. okay bye now

    • bimbin

      December 12, 2016 at 8:28 am

      yeah but the book she was at home crying and having issues with Maje ok by now…so it was home to work as CLEARLY MENTIONED IN THE BOOK

  12. chu-chu

    December 12, 2016 at 9:00 am

    The book was actually interesting, wont say i want away with a lesson, but I wont take away the fact that it had it moments. Anyway my own is, Sisi Toke never told us, where she got her British/ American accent from, cos she practically spent her whole life in Nigeria. I was expecting she would tell us, she schooled in the UK/US at some point. Just saying!

    • Darius

      December 12, 2016 at 9:36 am

      She doesn’t speak with a British or an American accent. Or are you talking about another Toke?

    • FinchleysFinest

      December 12, 2016 at 11:12 am

      Chu chu… there was a video she said she spent some time in UK.. dont come here to display your ignorance.

    • Fifi

      December 12, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      Yeah like some months not years yet she acquired american/british accent deeper than Toolz or Maria from beatfm that lived there for years ,make una continue to chop Tokes burnt dodo

    • Baod

      December 12, 2016 at 2:21 pm

      finchley Toke came to Uk on a normal 6 months visa …..thats d only time she lived abroad or uk… well accent lets say its televison acquired

    • LOL

      December 12, 2016 at 9:23 pm

      Funny that!
      I read book with same thought in mind from Idanre roots, Abuja, Ikoyi, Fed Govt College Oyo, UniLag followed by a brief spell in England. I just wandered where her accent comes from!

      I must say I loved the book though; lessons learnt: financial independence of essence. I felt uncomfortable reading about some of the behaviours of Maje that mirrored my hubby’s that I condoned and excused in the early stages of our marriage. Made me quite sad, yes we have now separated after 20 years of marriage, though we remain friends. I feel like asking him to read the book and getting his views on it.

  13. olufunmi

    December 12, 2016 at 9:53 am

    It’s very immature and unneccessary publishing a book about her relationship with Maje.

  14. Abominable snow girl

    December 12, 2016 at 10:01 am

    Quick question, for those who read the said book, did Toke as in Toke herself actually write the book or she got someone to write it for her?
    Cos with all the hullabaloo surrounding it, a little more credit should be accorded this individual. For Nigeria, it’s kind of a big deal for an autobio to generate that much noise. Means the writer is kind of good?.

    • Sakura

      December 12, 2016 at 12:08 pm

      @ abominable snow girl, yeah I think she wrote it herself because it reads the same way she speaks, and if you do find the time to read it you’d find that the book is mainly conversational like your girlfriend giving you hot gist.

      Ps
      I like your name lol!!

    • Nah

      December 12, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      It wasn’t an autobiography, more of a tabloid. People went reading it for the quality, solely the content; the gist

  15. See

    December 12, 2016 at 10:08 am

    I agree, no sense of closure can be deduced from the book. And the story is actually only sensational because it’s about someone who’s well known.

    Given that this book was fictional or written by an unknown, I dare say many people will actually find it lacking in substance and climax. It’s a forgettable read. No power or punch, just a clarification of rumours from one perspective. We like gist, hence the sensation surrounding the book.

  16. Sakura

    December 12, 2016 at 12:03 pm

    On becoming……….. I read it, I liked that it read like gist, kinda like her vlog very easy read nothing wrong with that. Maje was a big part of her life and hence a major part of the story/gist.She told us about their relationship from her own point of view, it wasnt about vilifying him or getting people to take sides, she loved him maybe she still does but in her ‘becoming’ she realised he didnt love her the same way and it isnt her fault and it’s okay.
    Looking for substance from her book or saying there was no substance is circumstantial perhaps it simply means it isn’t what you think an autobiography should be.
    The book title ON BECOMING tells me the reader that the author is on a journey of self discovery. It isn’t titled, I AM. So I knew from the get go that it wasn’t going to end in an absolute.
    I also didn’t see it as disjointed or not add up as Iyabeji put it. It is possible to get up at 4:15am for a 5:00am show. She knows her routine and it apparently works for her. I mean it not like she has to pack lunches or do chores per se.
    Anyway, the book helped me see Toke in a different light, not simply as a pretty face or vlogger or whatever but simply human. We all are on a journey On Becoming………

    • Loni

      December 12, 2016 at 11:34 pm

      Maje wasn’t vilified in the book? Sister why now? You can praise her without all this nah.

  17. Super lioness

    December 12, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    The book reminded me of the fist in our UNN hostels back in the day;

    Uche, so why did you break up with Timo and then the gist starts.

    I actually found myself anticipating some the responses Maje gave. All douchebags are the same.

    Toke was all these babes in school that had low self esteem and dated a guy she felt was helping her social situation.

    Uche, Chinwe, Chichi, even Glory chukwu ex MBGN. Babes wey suppose write book plenty. It is well, may our husbands raise better sons

  18. Eni

    December 12, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    As an avid reader, I would not call what Toke wrote a book. It’s just a long essay. How many words are in it? If I call it a book, I will be insulting a great deal of people which includes the authors of my favorite classics. 90% of her book is about Maje so the book is no autobiography but a reminiscence of her failed relationship. The book is just bland and like others have said, it’s just gist. I won’t even give it half a star out of five.

  19. chichi

    December 12, 2016 at 6:56 pm

    I liked the book for what it was, it wasn’t pretending to be something epic and the subject is nothing new anywhere else but in Nigeria when you’re one of the first to do something you can make alot of noise about it especially if you’re Toke, who is an A class celebrity in her own rights in Nigeria.
    It was a quick and easy read, any more I think would of been too much, why would anyone expect her to have a 10,000 page novel on this subject? It will not sell in Africa because it barley sells elsewhere. So again as she was sticking to topic, it was just right. I agree some parts were disjointed and you can tell she was deliberately not saying everything and lastly I also agree that at times ‘the how’ would of been appreciated. All in all i didn’t feel it was a waste of money. I hope I never need the advise in the book but if my friends were going down a road like that i would recommend the book. Ps I know we all go through our own issues but I am yet to suffer anything so horrendous as loosing parents but in the worst possible way as she did. I commend her for her strength 100% and the drive she has is incredible, not many get back on their feet after a tragedy like that, even with great support around them.

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