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Are Men the Only Ones Required to Get Consent before Sex? This Discussion is #Trending on Twitter NG

BellaNaija.com

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As the discussion on consent, sexual assault, and rape is gaining steam, a Twitter user @akintonmide threw a question out to ladies on how they initiate sex, particularly with someone who is not their partner.

See the responses:

Other perspectives:

BellaNaijarians, what do you think?

13 Comments

  1. LemmeRant

    April 18, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    Ma nigga.

    Just leave this babes to be deceiving themselves with their half baked principles and one-way rules

    • LemmeRant

      April 18, 2017 at 3:43 pm

      What was that line again?

      Yh I remember: All women are potential rapists.

    • Fleur

      April 19, 2017 at 4:11 am

      Surprised he had all these answers. Why would you initiate sex with someone you are not in a relationship with unless you are looking for AIDS with torchlight?

  2. SoniaPaloma

    April 18, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    The guy that asked the question sounds kinda slow with some of his reply and the popcorn girl that said “if y’all alone and she is naked that already sends signal” Sigh, she needs a brain reset
    This is why is is important to teach our women to own their sexuality and be vocal about what they want. if you want sex, ask in a simple and plain language. Do not assume, assumption can lead you to unforeseen troubles (this apply to both sexes)
    We also need to educate the society(Nigeria, in fact Africa) that views any sex related topic as an abomination
    Enough of the holier than thou attitude and most of all the slut shaming. We need to do better. We need to teach/talk about safe sex and kill that “she wants it but forming” mentality that most men grow up with thereby leading to sexual harassment
    If she says NO even if her body says YES (whatever that means), do not go AHEAD. Wait till you get a verbal and straight confirmation.

  3. Corolla

    April 18, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    Nope! Everyone MUST get consent.

    • funmilola

      April 18, 2017 at 4:53 pm

      exactly!

  4. Engoz

    April 18, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    You are asking Nigerian women on consent? Buhaha, they are as terrible as the men!

  5. Ok o

    April 18, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Even with verbal confirmation some women will still lie if they are unhappy with the man tommorrow or just to save face so i support the agreement signing esp for celebs. Already some women are saying Kemen RAPED Tboss!! In the name of female solidarity!! Can we all just stick to the facts!

    Our brothers, fathers, colleagues, husbands, pastors are as guilty as Kemen, na green light most ppl de do! even women grope men, Tboss sef has probably groped a man she likes without consent before, but that is not the issue. This is an amazing oppurtunity to educate ourselves on this consent issue properly! and im all for making use of it well not asking for Kemen head! saying it will send a message! What message?????

    Do you people prefer him depressed and acting all suicidal, then the scripts will just flip on Tboss as a manipulator trying to save face and trying to ruin his life. I can see hes dealing with his own demons and trying hard to redeem himself.

    I am tired of people crying more than the bereaved! Its left for Tboss to sue if shes unhappy with his punishment and apology! She has a lot of support! If she doesnt sue! ……..then make we hear word!!

  6. john

    April 18, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    ure asking the biggest hypocrites (women) about consent..I am suprised someone didnt turn it into ure verbally abusing them

  7. Akara Pancake

    April 18, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    The truth is that relying on “signals” will get you into trouble. As somebody pointed out above, her mind may be whispering no, o ti o, stop, don’t !! But her body is screaming Yaassss with a public address system.

    Guess what? Get her agreement in writing before proceeding! Obviously I am not asking my fellow bros to ask a lawyer to draft a smash contract anytime they want to sex a chick. Mbanu! The best way to verify consent and ensure that there is “consensus ad idem” is by doing the following:

    i) Hand her the condom to open by herself. Once she has removed the Gold Circle from the packet, assign her the task of placing the rubber on your phallus

    ii) Ask her to guide your amu into her lettuce by herself.

    iii) Remember how when you were young, traffic wardens said before you cross the road, you should look, left, right and then left again. Do the same here: ask her again, and again even mid-thrust, if it is okay to proceed and if she is fine with the sex. If she answers in the affirmative, ride on (no pun intended). If she says she is not fine with, then proceed to coitus interruptus (stop immediately!!!)

    iv) finally to be on the safe side, and to generally stay out of jail, or consequences like curses on your family and yet unborn, never ever initiate sex with a lady who is drunk, high or in an intoxicated state where she is too spaced out to resist. Even someone in a vulnerable state, like a lady who is stranded or afraid and has come to you to offer her safety or shelter.

  8. Ottawa Queen

    April 18, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    Ladies should as well seek consent first; If the guy is okay with it, cool. Most often we see ladies throwing themselves all over the guy, trying to seduce or force him into the act. Meanwhile, he must have already given the obvious sign NO!! And then this guy has no other choice but just sluggishly plays along to give you what you want! Especially after uv’e started kissing his entire body and erecting all erectables!

  9. Alterego

    April 19, 2017 at 12:41 am

    What happens when a girl gropes a guy who isn’t her man? Is it assault? Or taps a guy ‘playfully’ on the butt? And why do people generally play it off?

    • ao102

      April 19, 2017 at 10:25 am

      it is assault – regardless of gender, touching without consent is wrong. Men laugh it off due to rape culture and the belief it perpetuates that men cannot be raped by women (big LIE). Women can be sexual predators too (another lie that rape culture perpetuates that woman cannot be the aggressor). Just a question though, why would someone grope another someone just like that? that is stealing no?

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