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Failed Marriages in the Entertainment Industry: Joke Silva Shares her Advice

BellaNaija.com

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Joke Silva

Veteran Nollywood actress Joke Silva has shared her advice on how entertainers and celebrities can keep their marriages particularly as a result of several incidents of failed marriages in recent times.

She made this known in an interview with New Telegraph where she talked to Tony Okuyeme about her career, marriage and more.

Joke Silva, who has been married to another veteran actor Olu Jacobs since 1985, said that there are as many divorce and separation in other professions as there are in entertainment, adding that the challenge of the entertainer is knowing how to manage social media.

“There are a lot of challenges that are being faced by artistes of this particular generation; and one of those challenges is the social media, which almost doesn’t allow you your life. People of my age, when we were getting all the attention, and we were feeling like we were the best thing, things were different. You need all the attention anyway. For your work to sell, you need that popularity. It goes with the job, so you need that popularity. But after a while, you also get to learn that it can be a double-edged sword.

So, it is about managing it, appreciating the audience for appreciating your work, but also giving yourself that limit to what aspect of you they can experience.

In this age of reality shows where nothing seems to be off limit, the new skill that the entertainer has to learn is how much do you give your audience? More so, because you don’t want to be false; like used to happen in the early years of Hollywood where they would create this incredible image, and then it was almost impossible for the performer to live under that image; and a lot of them used to use all kinds of medications just to fit a particular image that was being built around them. Now, we are in the age of social media, so it is learning how to cope with social media, to do the work that social media does, which is to get your work out there, to get your face out there. But then limit that too so that you do have a life; so that you can have some modicum of emotional privacy.

Those are the challenges that I know that the younger generation face. Another thing that I do say, though, is that it is because the younger generation are very popular because of social media, and so, whatever happens to them becomes news; forgetting that there are as many divorces, there as many separations in other professions such as medical, financial, legal among others. Name any profession; there are so many separations in those as well.

When two people come from, sometimes different backgrounds – and it is most times from different backgrounds – and whether you come from the same social strata or not, you are brought up by two totally different people with values that are slightly different from the way you were brought up. So, smoothening out the relationship takes a while. I think, if one has patience, it will go a long way to help.

But at the same time, it will also help if one has older people, mentors, whose examples you can follow, who are your willing ears, and good friends. I never believed in all this rubbish where they say that because you are married now you should stop having friends.

I don’t believe in that. Your friends are a part of who you are. Why do you have to let go of all your friends simply because you are getting married. If the friend is not good or is toxic, then get rid of that friendship. But if it is a good friendship, then please, just because you are married doesn’t mean that that friendship should end. On both sides, let their friends now bring in this new person and expand your friends circle. I think that is important too,” Joke Silva said.

9 Comments

  1. Tosin

    May 6, 2017 at 10:31 am

    hot!
    It’s allllll gooood.

  2. peace

    May 6, 2017 at 11:00 am

    Well said Mrs Joke. I hope they listen to you and learn. They shouldn’t allow people on social media to make decisions for them through their comments, especially when it affects their home. People have every right to say whatever they want, but they also have the right to decide which ones affect them. Nice one! #hostzine.blogspot.com

  3. MrsO

    May 6, 2017 at 11:02 am

    You are spot on Mummy, even non-celebrities are falling for the same trap posting every detail and romantic epistles online.
    I hope we all learn before its too late.

  4. Godspeed

    May 6, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    Am I the only one who believes social media is NOT the problem, it’s the two people involve in the marriage. Yes, social media brings out a different side of people in terms of comparison, scrutiny, looking for validation, competition and exposure.
    However, people’s marriages were breaking before social media.
    It’s the foundation the two people built that was already broken. Someone who didn’t spend time to build a deeper connection but spends time on social media to post love notes, lie and show off had existing problem before posting.
    The advice should be people work on themselves and see marriage as a lifetime commitment. Therefore, choose wisely.

    • WarriChic

      May 6, 2017 at 6:23 pm

      Thank you for this comment. People act as if marriages were not failing before social media. If there is infidenlity or domestic violence in a relaionship – with or without social media oh, whether in private or in secret – a marriage is headed to failure!
      Social media just provides a wider audience. But it does not cause the marriage failure. People do! Traditions are changing and women are no longer going to stick around and be miserable in a marriage like our mothers did. It isn’t a do or die affair.

    • bk

      May 7, 2017 at 4:07 pm

      I totally agree with you that social media is not the bigger problem but the individuals involved. BUT, social contributed a great deal to the numerous breaks in marriages these days. A lot of people do ridiculous things they might not ordinarily do if there is no need to show off on social media. People go out of their ways to look certain way to the world even if that is not who they are. They want to look acceptable and all those designers stuffs don’t come cheap so they go off the rail. How many of these so called Nigerian celebrities can actually legitimately fund the life styles they portray? Few!!! And those that can’t? Do other side shows to keep up so in a way social media is a part of the whole mess with the individuals being the major players

  5. lady d

    May 6, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    Thank you ma , I think most of the problems in marriages has to do with social media , the competition to show up and tell strangers how beautiful and wonderful ur life is, most times makes couples to abadone what’s important and face the superficial stuff! And will do anything to keep up, look at someone like Mercy , that rumors have been going round abt her philandering ways and for what?

  6. lady d

    May 6, 2017 at 11:33 pm

    Women should learn to build their homes and stop emulating others , cos everyone destiny is different .

  7. dela

    May 10, 2017 at 10:57 am

    VERY true. there should be limits to what goes out about you. we all need wisdom in marriage and in every aspect of our lives. If you are a celebrity, use wisdom. let you marriage be your marriage.

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