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“You do not owe your parents anything unless you are living with them” – Bisi Alimi warns Young Nigerians against Unnecessary Financial Obligations

BellaNaija.com

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Popular Nigerian gay rights activist, public speaker and HIV/LGBT advocate, Bisi Alimi has come out to speak against the idea of feeling obligated to one’s parents so much at the expense of your own self.

Baring his opinion on his Facebook page, the blog write stated that the notion that the young who are still struggling must take care of the equally struggling is an age-old myth sold to the masses by corrupt politicians looking for a way to cover their loot. He said:

Nigerians, doomed financial vicious circle is when your parents brought you up so you can be their cow to milk, while you look forward to doing same to your children.

I understand that the system is fucked, pension money is being embezzled by stupid greedy politicians, the same ones you worship and bow to, and there is no guarantee for old age, but fuck, the system won’t fix itself. If you don’t resist, you will be consumed.

The idea that it is the responsibility of the struggling young to take care of the struggling old is a myth sold to you by the corrupt politicians who have stolen the resources of your commonwealth.

Remember, one rich man among 100 poor men will eventually end up being poor.

You only have two commitments in life; yourself and your children and that’s until they are old enough to be kicked out of the house.

You do not, I repeat, you do not owe your parents any pay back unless you are still living with them, which means get the f*ck out or start paying rent and bills.

Remember, you didn’t beg them to have sex, they wanted to have children, it’s their choice, you should not be their old age pension scheme.

Only do it if you can and have the resources to, but even with that, know the limit or they will emotionally blackmail you and milk you dry.

Have I said good morning already?

Thoughts?

41 Comments

  1. Spunky

    May 5, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    This dude must be high on his shit. I don’t care what angle he’s coming from. You owe your peeps a lot. That prick don turn you to bird brain fah.

    • Bella

      May 6, 2017 at 9:17 am

      This is a terrible and really scary line of Thought.
      If we abandon our aged, what does that make us? The reason our lack of a proper welfare system doesn’t have so much disastrous consequences like it should is because everyone takes responsibility for and takes care of their family & dependants, family is sacrosanct, whatever it is you do, wherever you go, you must take care of your family or else we’d all be barbarians. You may not particularly like them, you may not even talk to them but you MUST take care of your parents in particular.

      For me it isn’t even a matter of just what the Bible/Quran says. But there’s a covenant between parent and child, the very act of giving you life is a covenant, whether you chose them or not. You break that covenant, well, I wish you the best. It’s just really bad karma, dun do it. No matter what your parents have done, (this was hard for me to accept cos my father hardly contributed in any way to my growing up) you should make sure you do your part and balance things out. Good for bad and all that.

      I genuinely think this guy is mentally ill, has had too many issues in his life disturbing his brain and psyche

  2. oludare T

    May 5, 2017 at 11:58 pm

    You need to learn from those that honor their parents from the little they had and GOD bless them.it is not when you think you have enough that you can help others including your parents.There is blessing in sacrificial giving.what has this got to do with politicians. We should not turn our level of reasoning upside down. Our society loves listening to junks and unproductive madness of human degradation in immorality hence anybody could just think he has arrived without coming up with any hypothesis. We thank God that people can still learn from Dr Ebenezer obey. If you have nobody to learn from then you have better stop your notion of young ones not assisting their parents. President obasanjo helped his parents while young. You better reason well for which people would say this guy has something upstairs to offer. Remember the golden rule.our young ones should not listen to this kind of unedifying
    Counsel.

    • Sean

      May 6, 2017 at 7:57 am

      Word! God bless you

  3. C

    May 6, 2017 at 12:48 am

    This fool can keep his westernized ideology to himself. This is African culture and Asian culture you take care of your elders most especially your parents. We don’t have a freaking social system. And Frankly if you go to a Nursing Home and see how lonely and mistreated those elders are here in America you’d never wish the person that changed your shitty nondisposable diaper as a child, trecked with you to jump bus, prayed night and morning everyday for your safety and for you to be able to succeed so you won’t suffer in this world, and sent you to school with any nickel or begging they could you won’t want them for even one minute forget that now they can lean on you as you leaned 9n them. This guy is a plain and simply selfish and foolish.

    • Regina

      May 6, 2017 at 7:32 am

      The sad thing is this is not is even westernized thinking. Children still take care of their parents in the west. So I’m not sure where he’s getting this from. Human beings have set up a social contract where parents care for children and then children care for parents. We aren’t animals that abandon our parents to the wild.

      Unless your parents badly assaulted, raped or maltreated you, take care of them. And yes, they had children to take care of them in their old age. So what? It’s been that way for millennia. It isn’t news to anyone on the entire planet. Social security is a safety net for those who lack the family support, but really, it is your children.

      This is his bitterness at war with his guilty conscience delivered in a self-righteous diatribe in order to stave off the guilt. He has a right to air his opinion, and we have the right to call him an idiot.

  4. Sean

    May 6, 2017 at 12:52 am

    It’s just sad how you’re giving attention to stupid people and making them popular.

    There are lots of important and significant people this kind of platform should be promoting. Once this guy posts anything, all the Nigerian anywhere-belle face blogs will just copy and paste like he’s paying them for PR consultancy.

    It’s just sad.

    • #ProudNigerian

      May 6, 2017 at 1:47 am

      Oriegu! My papa my mama? People that suffered for me? Did and still do a lot for me? It’s not an obligation??? Lmao. I would do a lot more if I can nothing I mean nothing! is too much giving me all they had time ,money and what not I will definitely do more than a lot! I could have judged you but I think you are mentally unstable or probably had a bad child hood because giving your parents a comfortable life is not a culture thing ,it’s a natural thing. Oga bomboy siebapo!

    • Sean

      May 6, 2017 at 7:58 am

      lol…..the matter really pain you

    • MarriageIsCalling ;)

      May 6, 2017 at 3:01 am

      Excuse me sir, you can’t display this your fine picture and not leave instagram handle or even email address for us to contact you naw…

      On a serious note, you’re absolutely correct.

    • Ello Bae

      May 6, 2017 at 6:51 am

      Okay!!! I said the same thing!

      Sean just know that 70% of the likes on your comment have nothing to do with your statement and everything to do with that fine picture. I liked your comment by the way.

    • Jollof

      May 6, 2017 at 7:20 am

      Trust me, BN did not approve the first two comments initially. His seemed to be first, until they later approved the earlier. BN and stupidity. It’s becoming a ‘thing’

    • T

      May 6, 2017 at 10:01 am

      I’m with you on that. Sean…why so fine?

    • Jennifer

      May 6, 2017 at 1:18 pm

      Why so cute Sean?

  5. Ijebujesha

    May 6, 2017 at 1:06 am

    Omo wali-asiri, omo irole, aiye. (Translation: End times child).

  6. Manny

    May 6, 2017 at 1:17 am

    Thank God we are not a society that kicks out our children at 18. Yes, we have overgrown kids living with their parents but the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

    • kilipot

      May 6, 2017 at 11:37 am

      I don’t even understand the running off at 18. Gosh!! Except ones parents are abusive. Anybody can stay with their parents till whenever.

  7. dupsy

    May 6, 2017 at 1:23 am

    So what is wrong in helping your aged parents if you have the means to do so? How can your old parents be struggling to eat in a country like Nigeria where you know the pension is nothing and you will be driving your Mercedes wagon with at least enough cash to spare them but because you have written this emotionless write up, you feel you owe them nothing and just watch them suffer and die and then you post on the blogs the pictures of the flashy burial you did for them. It is okay if they have a lot of wealth and are just trying to cause trouble but please 95 percent of pension aged Nigerians have fallen on hard times and it is their children’s responsibilities to provide for their ailing parents if the government doesn’t do so especially if the children have the means to do so!! By the way it is a blessing from God

  8. lady d

    May 6, 2017 at 1:35 am

    Bella! Bella ! Bella! How many times did I call u guys ? Pls stop giving this Mr gay activist the attention he is looking for and upload something meaningful.

  9. Moyo

    May 6, 2017 at 1:36 am

    omo ale buruku. Bisi Alimi, your mother should have aborted you

  10. Valentina

    May 6, 2017 at 1:49 am

    Mr Bisi i pray your children abandone you in your old age,Amen.

    • Lazlaz

      May 6, 2017 at 7:22 am

      How? He can’t even have kids with his horseband. Unless he adopts sha and those kids will sha make him unfortunate any how, any how.

    • BlueEyed

      May 6, 2017 at 10:03 am

      He can actually have kids outside adoption. It’s called science.
      P.S I 100% do not agree with whatever this man is saying. I will take care of my parents and my family not because I want my children to do the same but because I understand the honor and favor attached to doing so, and I’m not even coming from a religious angle.

  11. Marian

    May 6, 2017 at 4:48 am

    It’s called the Circle of Life.

  12. Mary

    May 6, 2017 at 6:14 am

    If you need to be cajoled before you take care of your parents, then something must be wrong with you.
    If you don’t take care of your parents who will?
    Don’t even try it so as not to incur the wrath of God.
    I can understand when one is still small and growing its their responsibility to, but the moment you have started working please take care of them.
    Bisi we refuse to heed to your advice or opinion.

  13. kunle

    May 6, 2017 at 6:31 am

    Whoever the Almighty has made to go astray can never find the right path and whoever is on the right path by the Almighty cannot go astray. It’s sad someone has a wrong view of how we should treat our parents. It’s really sad

  14. Ethio

    May 6, 2017 at 6:46 am

    I think what he means is, if you’re still struggling to make ends meet as a young independent then remove that feeling of indebtedness to your parents,till you’re financially buoyant enough at least . He’s not against taking care of your parents. you all read his write up but your sentiments won’t let you understand it

    • Femi

      May 6, 2017 at 7:27 am

      You just spoke my mind. …

    • olanna&odenigbo

      May 6, 2017 at 12:30 pm

      we didn’t misunderstand…. he FAILED to present a balanced argument to begin with. But let us even ride with this line of thought you’re defending….. Lets assume your parents left you uneducated because they weren’t buoyant enough, or left you starving cos they hadn’t fed themselves enough…how would that be for us all?….. You should be able to sacrifice for each other. If anything happens to your adult us, society will still go and look for your family AKA parents/sibblings etc to come to your corner…so please lets stop this over blowing of triumph horn…. Yes encourage everyone to be pregressive and considerate, but don’t dare underrate people for sacrificing for their loved ones if need be. Its not always about being comfortable first before you can assist. sometimes they really have no options. you should care for your parents with PRIDE! your N1 shared with love and respect, will please them greatly…it mustn’t be millions.

    • loner

      May 7, 2017 at 10:21 pm

      Bless up for this comment!

  15. Author Unknown

    May 6, 2017 at 6:50 am

    Hmmm. I believe Bisi is referring to the struggling, and how they could end up in a permanent cycle of poverty as a result of the abuse of our social welfare system. He does not say to not take care of your parents (which by the way is a virtue). What I understand from the article is that parents should not have kids to serve their selfish interest, only for those kids to in turn have kids to further serve their own selfish interest. He is encouraging you to break that cycle, as It gets you nowhere. Free your mind people. His real crime is that he is gay, and you’re not willing to listen to what he has to say.

  16. Bokun

    May 6, 2017 at 6:55 am

    I got to confess I use to stand up for the rights of Gay activists until a recent personal encounter. You know trouble visits and it leads one closer to God , anyway I wouldn’t go into details. BISI you are wrong.your lifestyle has opened a gateway a portal for evil spirits to manifest through you. They hate you. Every creature walking on Gods earth has been created perfectly for God by God. God loves us. Gods Laws are meant to protect us from those things that will seek to destroy Gods wonderful creation. When we deviate from Gods law we hurt ourselves and hurt God. Yes we all sin, being ashame of the sin is the first step to repentance, it’s another level when we sin, glorify and justify it . The only person who gains is the devil who has stolen a creation of God not to excel but to eventually destroy. We were created to be great and increase Gods army against evil. The devil can not create anything living he is an expert at stealing and occupying. The thing that hates you is that which has taken possession of you. It found your vulnerability, and seduced you with a lie, It hates you and is leading you on a part of destruction. BISI look at Your utterance , are these supposed to be enlightened Humm my bro they are darkness. Please reflect, get correct and evict these body snatching soul sucking demons. Peace be with you.

  17. Lucinda

    May 6, 2017 at 9:58 am

    Bisi is speaking from a place of bitterness and is still not over his folks rejecting his lifestyle. He now thinks that he has “arrived” and “made it” but he doesn’t owe his parents any of that homosexual blood money. That is the summary of this lash out.

  18. Lucinda

    May 6, 2017 at 10:11 am

    Hence the question should be that if you did something illegal or unconventional and your folks disown you, are they still entitled to be taken care of by proceeds from that “illegal” lifestyle? My answer is yes.

  19. John

    May 6, 2017 at 12:40 pm

    Please keep your silly counsel to yourself, faggot. You are never going to have children so shut up and go change your diaper.

  20. Mubaji

    May 6, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    OMG! I don’t know why people like these are aided to propagate ideologies like this. For crying out, loud, this guy is derailed and would never think straight because he is lost already. what else would I expect him say abot parents since he is not thinking of becoming one.
    Anyway, I believe the of advice is for those who listen to lost souls like bisi alimi.

  21. funmilola

    May 6, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    This guy doesn’t like Nigerians, yet he has taken it upon himself to be an adviser….. bellanaija, take your time and stop posting rubbish!

  22. Me

    May 6, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    Bisi tell that to you mama.

  23. Me

    May 6, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    And who are you to tell me that…..hold your contributions and opinions to yourself…..western influenced thinking.

  24. Merci

    May 6, 2017 at 3:00 pm

    Bisi is looking for cheap popularity. Dont worry 14yrs will definitely catch up with you. BN e b like say news no dey again.

  25. meelikey

    May 6, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Dear BN I kneel down beg ,in fact I ‘doabale’ (hope i got it right) please n please can you just stop making post about this guy,its very evident he needs ‘special attention’ please save us the pain while awaits restoration.

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