Ucheoma Onwutebe: My Life Clock Ticks at My Pace

When as a traveler, you set forth at dawn with hope, enthusiasm and gusto, you are certain that night will not fall on your affairs; you believe nothing but fortune will meet you at the arrival gates of your destination. But most times we fail to prepare mentally for the unforeseen. Gridlocks exist in life; some are self-inflicted due to reckless piloting, or simply inexplicable by time and chance.

When I was young I was inspired by the Justin Biebers of life – born on Monday, discovered on Tuesday and millionaires by Wednesday. Such narratives favor you when you are of a certain age. But when you have toiled at your efforts and life still has you at seemingly snail speed, this can knock the wind off your sail.

I have since realised that most of us are late bloomers. Major feats seem to happen only at the eve of our lives. And it can seem rather unfair seeing that life often favors the suppleness and vigor of youth, and being termed an ‘old cargo’ is far from a pleasant label. Most fields that require the agility of youth, like modeling and the athletics, only offer admission in the early eras of one’s life leaving out the middle aged. This is why plastic surgeons would forever smile to the bank. They present an illusion of the elixir of youth. With this knife, I can tuck away decades from your flabby frame.

Even when out of chance, you failed to set forth early and you are just getting on board at the midday of your life, be consoled that whenever one wakes up is one’s morning. One’s morning can be in the wee hours of the day, while another’s in the eventide. Only keep your hands at the ploughshare and refuse to let hope wither, because you feel your time is far spent or—as our mothers always try to taunt us— your biological clock is ticking.

Half of the year is far spent and there are to-do list that mock our daily efforts. So what?

I have learnt that if I allow the fear of the passage of time conquer me and make me rush at life frenetically, I am bound to make mistakes and miss out on the details that require editing.

I am so done with people who rush at you to accomplish this or that. Let me pick at my life like a meal in peace and quiet please. I do not want to choke. Your concern is well appreciated, but if you cannot wait patiently for me, carry on.

I will walk as fast as my feet will carry and fly as high as my wings can flap. Carry on with your lives and leave me in peace.

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