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Nkem Says: Every Rich Man Is Handsome (Or Not?)

Nkem Ndem

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Before you join me in psycho-analyzing the issue of a man’s “beauty” being subject to the weight of his pocket, let’s get one thing straight: Money is sexy as hell. Yes, I said so. A while ago, if someone made the same statement and I heard it, I would look at them with disdain, while thinking to myself: “what a shallow somebody” …and naturally, I would roll my eyes… very heavily too.

But, yeah…I see the light now.

Believe it or not, having money is a game changer for anyone: man or woman. But I guess for men, it’s a more dramatic change. No? Have you ever seen the throw back pictures of some Nigerian celebrities who are kind of sex symbols now? Tu face? Flavour? They looked dried up, hungry and excruciatingly unpleasant to the eyes… compared to the way they look now. What is the difference between then and now? Did their facial features change? Did they take some magical pill that made them look hotter than they used to? No. they didn’t. Their “beauty” came with the money they acquired when they “blew”! I mean…except for maybe Bobrisky who went on to bleach and now wears fabulous weaves and wigs, most of these celebrities did not really do anything extra to their looks. They just became handsome and sexy because they gained wealth.

Agreed, there are some who even with the wealth, they still look ugly AF…they know it, we know it… but nobody ever mentions it. In fact, they are used as yardsticks for “handsomeness” and “being dapper”. Why? They have the money!

Yesterday, a close friend asked: “Nkem, be honest, would you rather an ugly man with an annual income of 500 million Naira or a handsome man who is unemployed or undecided at his career path?” It was a tricky one, so I asked further questions for clarification: “when you say ugly, do you mean repulsive or just not good-looking?” “hmmm…not good-looking” he said. “Hmmnnn…and both are the same age?” I continued, and he says “Yes, both 32”. With the extra questions answered, I did not hesitate. I straightaway said: “I’d go for the Ugly one.”. My friend (clearly shocked since I’m a huge champion of equal love for “struggling” men) yelled: “Liar! Even if he looks like ‘a certain president Nigeria once had’?” and I said: “YES! What do you mean? That dude is super intelligent and sexy! Have you read any of his books?” Of course, that was me trying to be funny, but my “yes” was a certain yes.

Before you judge me any further (because I know you are already doing that), let me walk you through my thought process and how it was easy to pick the ugly rich man. The way I see it, being wealthy or having a huge income is a product of extreme hard work, huge efforts, and sacrifices made in the past by themselves or their families. The man who makes the annual income of 500 million Naira is rich not just because he has money, he is rich because he did something in the past to grow, to maintain money. He has was intelligent, focused, purposeful and tenacious. The handsome man, on the other hand, what did he do to earn his looks? What effort did he put in? Genetics? Proper grooming? Is that it?

Again, “handsomeness” is a depreciating value while wealth is appreciating value. Looks and unnecessary charm in a man will give butterflies, sweet heartburn and all that goofy nonsense that makes life seem enjoyable…but that handsomeness fades with time and circumstances…and along with it the heady feelings and emotions. That is a certainty.

A man who has successfully earned a considerable amount of money is likely to be more financially smart and plan futuristically. His value usually will appreciate with time, and even if he fails or experiences difficulties at some point, there is the high probability that he has what it takes to rise back up again. Considering these remote implication makes it easy to see pick the ugly man.

Basically, the amount of money a man has kind of determines how valuable and how “handsome” he appears. Even Jay Z, who is generally considered ugly, said in Family Feud, one of the songs on 4.44, his new album: “Ain’t no such thing as an ugly billionaire, I’m cute.” Perhaps he was being petty, but he hit the nail on the head. Do you think Beyonce, the epitome of beauty, would have married him and stuck with him despite the lies and cheating, should he have been the regular boy from across the streets? Do you think she would have thought him handsome enough to combine her genes with and birth children? If you asked her now, she would say to you that he is the most handsome man in the world. Why? His financial worth is handsome, ergo, he is handsome.

Don’t get me wrong, this in no way means I no longer have an unabashed soft spot for beautiful people, I still do. But at the same time, I also have a deep respect for financial stability and economic vigor. Like I always say, women (feminist or not) are naturally wired to seek a man who is capable of protecting and taking care of them financially…even when they can take care of themselves already. It is innate, they would prefer a person with whom they can have a secure future with, ugly or not. A man stops being ugly to any woman the moment he is able to make something for himself and can offer her an above-average future.

We need to stop being pretentious about things like this and look past the erroneous idea that a woman who picks an ugly man with money is shallow, does not see him for more than his worth and is only managing him for his money.

Nkem Ndem is a dynamic freelance writer and editor who can be reached for copywriting, editing and proofreading. She is also a content creator (web, T.V, radio) who has had stints with Jumia and SpiceTV Africa e.t.c. Now she works at Glam Africa as Online editor and BellaNaija as Features writer. E-mail: [email protected]; IG: @kem_dem; Twitter: @ndemv

29 Comments

  1. john

    September 4, 2017 at 8:36 pm

    not suprised..duh.. ..it is what all men has always known about women since the days of adam and eve…that why when we see them forming strong and independent ..we just chuckle bcos we know their ancient medicine….women and confusion are like 5 and 6:..fish br— ..u can complete it

  2. James

    September 4, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    Nkem is at it again. I have issues with some of your assumptions. You said “being wealthy or having a huge income is a product of extreme hard work, huge efforts, and sacrifices made in the past by themselves or their families”. Not necessarily true. An armed robber, a corrupt politician, 419er or even a dubious businessman did not necessarily acquire their wealth through dint of hard work but they made the money and therefore look handsome as hell in the eyes of a woman.

    And then you further said “The handsome man, on the other hand, what did he do to earn his looks? What effort did he put in? Genetics? Proper grooming? Is that it?” And I have to ask you the same question, what did the pretty woman do to deserve the rich man, genetics perhaps and proper grooming? Is that all?

    We can’t change what attracts a woman to a man but I can say that your argument that hard work translates to wealth is false. There are other factors that determine someone’s success in life other than hard word. Such things as family, education, of course hardwork but not always, perseverance, connections, and sometimes luck.

  3. john

    September 4, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    that is why Every reasonable and any sensible men goes after the money first…and pray for nature or God to bless your hustle.. bcos then everything will fall in line…even the so so called hypocritical sophisticated women will fall in line.it is natural…..no woman is above any man’s league, it is just the men that are chasing her is what is out of your league. #johnnuggets.. lol

  4. Baby

    September 4, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Lol. A rich man IS sexy as fuck.
    If he’s ugly, it’s alright. With your tastes you can get him groomed enough to please your eyes and keep it going.

  5. Wtf

    September 4, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    Nkem you are just a gold digger! Go and marry a chimpanzee for money. Bella Naija wedding will share the story. Kmt.

  6. Gerrard59

    September 4, 2017 at 9:20 pm

    Certainly not surprised.

    Nature and psychology shows us that women marry up not down (age wise included). No woman willingly marries a man she is richer than. Women will always want to marry men who have more economic resources than they have (studies have proven this). Nothing wrong. It is their nature.

  7. Chimezie

    September 4, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    Good one Nkem, everyone has where matters to them in this article no matter how it seems, even if this is a friction. like this part more 🙂
    “A man who has successfully earned a considerable amount of money is likely to be more financially smart and plan futuristically. His value usually will appreciate with time, and even if he fails or experiences difficulties at some point, there is the high probability that he has what it takes to rise back up again”

  8. Jane

    September 4, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    Kai, Nkem, whenever I read your article, I feel like my brain cells and level of intellectual capacity die a little. I just feel dumb. Then I imagine, how can you write this garbage, send it and bellanaija will Carry and post it for us to read. Your name suggests that you’re a Christian but girl, you have a very ungodly and uncircumcised mind which is evident in your articles. For me, nothing is as amazing as a man who above all else, fears God is hardworking and principled. Whether he is not doing well at that time, I will take him because I know his future is mighty bright. Ask Adeboye,oyedepo, the durotoyes, etc. Most importantly Nkem: you need Jesus

    • bolintin

      September 5, 2017 at 11:23 am

      Haha Kilagbe kileju?
      How her mater take pain you like this na wao.
      May God heal you o.

    • jefka

      September 5, 2017 at 4:21 pm

      Pls shift. Be there forming good girl. Your brain cells are dying yet you are reading her articles. People like you are chronic liars, pretenders and agbaya.
      Let her express herself and what she wants whilst you keep lying to yourself. Nonsense and ingredient.

  9. chiomaco

    September 4, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    Like seriously????

  10. Bodunade

    September 4, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    Eureka!! You have found the holy grail *rme*
    I know some BN males and She-males will get worked up like Nkem wants them to.
    I can feel her licking her lips and rubbing her palms in anticipation of the ‘controversy’ her article will generate.

    Everybody knows this, nothing controversial here. It’s just a little sad Nkem is just ‘discovering’.

    Fellow Nigerians, let us focus on the real issues like our economy, hunger, ritual killings and our president that is about to sneak out of the country.

  11. C

    September 5, 2017 at 1:48 am

    Get it right EVERY GENEROUS NON-ABUSIVE rich man is a fine boi ;p God forbid a stingy abusive a*hole rich or even more insulting poor man that’s abusive too ah talk about insult on top injury TUFIAKWA

  12. Namingnames

    September 5, 2017 at 7:40 am

    Nkem I enjoy your writing but I wish you hadn’t named names- like imagine how those people would feel reading this and use that as a guide so what you write can be both true but kind…

  13. jane

    September 5, 2017 at 8:49 am

    BN! Post my comment now! Whenever a comment or observation is made against you, you’ll delete it. I can see now how you select comment. After posting my comment you finally read and deleted it. OK . continue

    • TEE

      September 5, 2017 at 9:59 am

      Excuse me. why dont you post some logically deduced comments, why is everything have to be about religion? Of all the comments here you are the only one, it is said over religiousity kills interlect. Religion is personal please keep it so,.! here is something for you i hope you can appreciate it ;_

      Abou Ben Adhem
      By Leigh Hunt
      Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
      Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
      And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
      Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
      An angel writing in a book of gold:—
      Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
      And to the presence in the room he said,
      “What writest thou?”—The vision raised its head,
      And with a look made of all sweet accord,
      Answered, “The names of those who love the Lord.”
      “And is mine one?” said Abou. “Nay, not so,”
      Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low,
      But cheerly still; and said, “I pray thee, then,
      Write me as one that loves his fellow men.”

      The angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
      It came again with a great wakening light,
      And showed the names whom love of God had blest,
      And lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest.

      Have a good day.

  14. Poverty is a bastard

    September 5, 2017 at 9:30 am

    Poverty is a bastard mehn
    Poverty at this end of the world has reduced women to nothing but a commodity that can be bought over.

    See this one saying “every rich man is handsome”…The man the man became rich does not matter. Ponder on this, you that you have been working for ages, how come you are not rich yet? How is your colleague whom you served together with or finished uni together supposed to become rich overnight? He might get rich via yahoo plus, ritual or whatever means…

    Oh you want to date/marry upwards to a man who is already married, but has money as he has been working long before you finished school?

    We see the best and most beautiful of you everywhere…events, clubs, lounges, weddings, etc….What turns you on, makes you get wet easily and toasts you before we even utter a word on our behalf, is the car key you check out in our hands, the clothes & shoes we have on—which to you is a sign this guy is rich and a good prey…….

    Even the most die hard staunch feminist of you, when we dm you, its either your rent is due, you have this or you have that….This age is finished long ago. Read on Joros page of a lady who visited a guys house and didnt wanna leave again…..

    God punish poverty….Poverty has turned you into something else….

    Keep selling and buying….Dating girls is trade and barter now….Reason marriage doesnt last and mean shit cos it is strictly business.

    i dont know what to say, i dont know how to say it, even after i have typed over 5 pragaraphs…

    Nkem, how market?

    • Mawi

      September 10, 2017 at 4:51 pm

      Oga, I am female & I agree with u that so many girls have become so embarrassingly thirsty for well to do guys. However, whether u believe it or not, there are still many with good heads on their shoulders. The problem is, u don’t see those women because u are also guilty of being shallow; looking for the most beautiful flashy girls. Reasonable, humble women can be seated right in front of u, but u are busy searching for the ‘brightest’ trophy babe. Nothing wrong with that, but u have to be prepared for the most likely outcome. These girls know what guys like u want (super attractive chics) so they package themselves accordingly. You also know what these chics want (u admitted it up there, nice cars, shoes etc aka riches) so u display such. Can’t u see u guys are attracting one another???
      The kind of woman u would consider truly, deeply responsible (not the pretentious ones o) will be searching for something deeper. So when she sees u flaunting ur car keys at them trophy chics, she knows u are not for her. Besides, u most likely wouldn’t notice her anyway. She hardly puts in all her effort into being a ‘slayer’. She’s mostly simple in her get up, but u, oh u would only notice the slay Queens who are so because they know u are shallow enough to ignore real women and focus on them.
      See Oga, it’s simply a supply & demand thing. You want pretty, they sell it to you for ur riches.

      You want to find real women with real values? Be a real man with real values, intellect and respect for yourself and others. If u are truly all these( not pretentious o), u will be able to appreciate inner beauty more than anything else. Then u will find real women so easily. They are there, everywhere. You only need to shift focus, but it starts with changing who u are. At the end, my summary is, YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE.

  15. RIFF RAFF

    September 5, 2017 at 10:31 am

    You say Tu face and Flavour looked dried up, hungry and excruciatingly unpleasant to the eyes? My dear ,their own is nothing. Go and check Diamond Platinumz’s throwback pics….you will see what being broke can do to someone’s physical appearance;

    • RIFF RAFF

      September 5, 2017 at 10:33 am

      Even Freeze sef looks cleaner,fresher and fatter ever since he settled with that lady who cooks.

    • Mrs chidukane

      September 5, 2017 at 11:40 am

      Olamide nko? Barely recognizable.

  16. trudy

    September 5, 2017 at 10:31 am

    I beg to differ, based on a personal experience.. a few years ago i had the pleasure of meeting a very bad-looking but rich young man (he’s a mining engineer) Now , i have dated okay looking guys before, in fact i have dated not so okay guys before but this guy’s wor-wor level no be here, and he couldnt understand why i wouldnt date him even though he used to splurge lots of cash on me and my simple reasons were: 1. i was not attracted to him in anyway. 2. he wanted to make it his life mission for me to fall for him coz of his money (which most of his exes did)

    most ugly people with loads of money have deep seated emotional issues. but money is good. everyone should work hard to get their own so you can have the option not to stick with a man just cox hes rich.

  17. Mrs chidukane

    September 5, 2017 at 11:40 am

    Nkem, you’re looking for trouble oh. Its true sha. Money is good, anyone that says otherwise is pretending. Every girl wants a man who is financially secure. I’ve been on all sides of the financial spectrum and I can assure you that money is very good. The Peace it gives is second only to that given by God. I’m talking about honest money oh, not others.

    • Mrs chidukane

      September 5, 2017 at 11:41 am

      The title is an Igbo proverb literally, ego bu nma nwoke.

    • momo

      September 5, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      Abeg Most Rich men are attractive ….like they say ..”no one is ugly just broke “..and yes I’ve been on both sides and i prefer the comfortable one

  18. Chilly

    September 5, 2017 at 12:04 pm

    Who fine boy epp? I remember in our late teens and early twenties, my friends and I would swoon over a handsome dude. Fast forward to date, now we are in our late thirties and believe me we don’t care about handsome anymore. Some guys we knew didn’t look good then look amazing now. They have come into their own and wowza they are men. As someone here already said” nma nwoke bu ego” a man’s fineness is ?, that says it all

  19. barrister lawyer

    September 5, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    Nkem my crush, I agree with you on this one. Let me go and look for money. Please also write something on why men find intelligent women attractive.

  20. san

    September 5, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    Oga, whether you like it or not, being an armed robber or a 419er takes hard work. It may not be an honest living, but sacrifices are still made.

  21. happy

    September 14, 2017 at 9:56 am

    nobody ugly money insults man or woman.we call it money,kudi,ego ,owo is the medium of exchange.is the in thing,money goodoooo9oo

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