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Iniobong Umoh: Davido and His Two-Faced Lyrics

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Hey Davido, I know you are the perfect example of how good money combined with hard work and consistency trumps talent all the time. Do you ever take time out to listen to your lyrics? Aren’t you hypocritical?

You released Aye three years ago and you got us singing and dancing:

“Aaa yeeee
Aaaaa yeeee!
Cos she wants my love o”

You were so much in love, you told us about your girl.

“She no want designer!
She no want Ferrari!
She say na my love o!”

We all liked the song, it was a hit. All the girls loved the song, they fell in love with guys just for the sake of true love. They didn’t demand money or designer’s clothes because they all took your girl as their model.

But now, Davido I don’t understand you again. What happened to your girl? We guys are at our wit’s end because you have changed the tune. You are now telling us about your new girl.

“So I am looking for a sister
Chioma my lover
She get the dollar dollar!
She dey wear designer!”

Your girl is materialistic.

“She say give me assurance
I give my baby lifetime assurance”

You gave her a Porsche! A ride worth 40 million abi 20 million naira?

You set the table so high.
Damn you Davido! Now all the girls want to wear designer’s fashion, they are asking for dollars and Porsches. This is not fair Davido, what happened to your former girl? Is she not the same person you were gushing about;

“She fine pass Darego!
She dey do like Ronaldo!
My sweetie potato!
Eminado!”

You told us love is blind but now you are saying something else:

“Love is sweet o
When money enter
Love is sweeter
Pepper rest o”

So your love is now all about money, designers outfits, expensive cars eh? No wonder you declared in “Fall”,

“Money fall on you/Banana fall on you
Prada fall on you oh/Cos, I’m in love with you oh, eeh”

And in “If”, you stated:

“If I tell you say I love you o/My money my body na your own o baby
Thirty billion for the account o/Versace and Gucci for your body o baby”

Have you ever asked yourself if any of these girls would be with you if you didn’t have money eh? Would Chioma still be with you despite the presence of your baby mamas if you were a broke guy?

Davido, see what you have caused! Angelina came to see me last week. She told me, “I need a Porsche. Please buy a Porsche for me! Have you not seen what Davido has done for Chioma?”

“But Davido is a rich kid and….” I tried to explain but she cut in,

“No excuses! You are older than Davido. I need assurance. Buy me a Porsche or I will break up with you”

I sighed, “Okay dear, I will buy it for you. Let me go and deposit part payment”

“Aww…i love you! How much are you depositing?”

“I have N2000 on me right now. I will pay the money in bits till I complete payment hopefully in 2034”

“How much did you say you are paying again?” She queried.

“Two thowsin naira” I replied.

Silence enveloped the room as Angelina sized me from head to toe. She hissed, turned around and walked out of the house. She walked out of my life. My angel left me because I can’t give her assurance.

Don’t let me see you around me Davido, I will whip you with my koboko! Don’t try to explain yourself, I don’t want to listen to your double-faced lyrics anymore. Just go away with your Chioma abeg, while I go nurse my heartbreak with a hot plate of pepper soup. Assurance kee you there! ?

#Leritude

Iniobong Umoh is a multi-contextual writer, story teller and brand content creator. He writes with a touch of humour, satire and reality.Email: [email protected] IG: @ini_leroi Twitter: @iniobong_

29 Comments

  1. Engoz

    May 10, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    I know this is tongue in cheek, but Nigerian relationships can be irritating, ewww. It’s like both parties have an agenda, lol.
    Majority sing rubbish anyway but Davido in particular I’m yet to be impressed by his music. Where you catch them and know that these people are just charlatans is in their live performances. In fact, majority artistes in your Davido group can’t deliver properly live. Tiwa o, Olamide o, rubbish. Tiwa can sing, but I don’t know who taught her she should be shouting like a thug over her recorded voice while performing. Even your local church can pull off better performances than these people. 30 billion for your account, but you don’t have a band and show no improvement in your craft? Misplaced priorities. That Porsche money should have been used on singing classes, how to stay on key, modulate/transpose, and the employment of a vocal and performance coach. At the end of the day, it is still us I blame, sebi if we no buy and rate them, we won’t see this nonsense.

    • Ghostpen

      May 10, 2018 at 4:24 pm

      Appreciate good things…Good things will come your way return.

    • Seriously

      May 10, 2018 at 6:32 pm

      Nigerians have missplaced priorities. I’m yet to understand how buying a porshe for a girl you cheated on multiple times is making headlines. It’s entertainment not real life. So the car compensates for the STDs and disrespect. That porshe was probably rented or leased. And the girl can barely even drive it on those
      muddy shithole Nigerian roads. Nigerians embody the saying fake it till you make
      it. If the net worth of these celebrities are revealed, everyone will be flabbergasted. They are not as rich as they portray its all for entertainment.. David, stay bragging about his dad’s billionaire money and his money. He lives in an average middle class Atlanta house. Nothing wrong with that. Other groups show their wealth through owning properties, companies, patents, etc long term wealth.

      Nigeria’s economy is in.shambles no job, no food and water. These college graduates have nothing to do with their lives, some are doing more scams, some are prepping themselves, their bodies up for the highest bidder and get high all day. The drug use among nigerian youths is alarming. And y’all busy talking about Davido’s fake life. It’s a very small percentage that has an actual job, are responsible and have decent money.
      Hats off to those who are Genuinely working extra hard to survive, feed their children, the professionals who are working without any pay.

      Nigerians wake up. It’s good not to wear your pain, hopelessness but there comes a time you have to address the problems and fix it.

    • Marsala

      May 10, 2018 at 8:14 pm

      I agree with you. Tiwa is a terrible live performer. I actually mentioned that on a post a while back and asked that she should probably hone her skills in that area. Sis blocked me oooo. Haha.

    • Ovadje

      May 10, 2018 at 10:32 pm

      @SERIOUSLY, entertainment is an INDUSTRY! It create jobs, supports professions and livelihoods and feeds families! And not just for the entertainers themselves but for a wide range of citizens (including college graduates) – from the laborers, painters, carpenters, set designers, builders, welders, electrical engineers, electricians and technicians, graphic artists, sound engineers, marketers, suppliers, vendors, security, transporters and drivers, even lawyers and financiers.

      Heck, even the gossip blogs that talk about Davido’s supposedly “fake life” and other such supposedly “misplaced priorities” employ people (including college graduates) and generate income and revenue that support other businesses and create even more jobs. And even better, if all these employed people pay taxes, the government can (hopefully) use such taxes to invest in health and education (among other things) for citizens. There is no single path to development, but these are some of the ways that an economy and country is built and citizens are empowered. It is not by berating folks actually doing something or by pontificating on the Internet because other folks do not share your polemic interests.

    • Seriously

      May 11, 2018 at 2:48 am

      @ovadje
      I still stand by my statement man. Nigerians have missplaced priorities. Just like how Nigerians are obsessed with weddings, competing with the next person. I mean, cleaning out their bank account, borrowing money everywhere just to show off without proper investment. What is shown on this website is 1% of Nigerians, weddings of children whose parent embezzled money. Nigerian celebrities doing their thing but what is going on with the rest of the 80% of average nigerians.
      Nigerians have been obsessed with Davido’s porshe for the last few days, I don’t see that type of energy channeled collectively about solution in making the country better. Your president Buhari has been gone for another medical trip and nobody is saying anything. Why do you think Buhari had the audacity to say nigerian youths are lazy.

      Obviously, entertainment is a sector that provide jobs. I’m not even talking about that. I’m speaking on the failed Nigerian system.
      The economy is in shambles. The fake life is overrated, it gives a false representation of the reality of what is truly happening in Nigeria.

    • 9ja

      May 11, 2018 at 8:28 am

      Bros Seriously, as Broda Ovadje would say, even weddings is an industry – and Nigerians are hardly the only people to “overspend” on weddings (everything is not about morning, and as corny as it may sound, you cannot always put a price on each individual’s ‘happiness’). Please, next time, take a long careful look at a lot of the people making money off those weddings – tailors, Mama Bisi the Aso Ebi seller at Balogun Market, cooks (aka caterers for the more fanciful weddings), servers, ushers, drivers, helpers, praise-singers, printers, and so on. It is much better than the alternative of begging on the streets or robbery. Accordingly, as we seek to make our society even better, let’s not make the perfect an enemy of the good.

  2. Babe

    May 10, 2018 at 4:07 pm

    I like your article jare…
    Can married women seek assurance too, after all, I still have toasters pp*runsaway*

  3. Dr.N

    May 10, 2018 at 4:23 pm

    Your deposit is N2k?
    ???

  4. zzzzzzzzzzz

    May 10, 2018 at 4:39 pm

    If you want to compare yourself with Davido and buy a Porsche go ahead, Not really interested in the gift more in the lyrics. Really the Nigerian Music Industry has a dearth of song writers. A musician only need to sing the first line and you instantly know he is the one. Some songs actually sell because of the rich lyrical content. I don’t like rap but the day I heard Safe by M.I. I bought 2 of the CD’s in case one got spoilt. Why? because I was blown away by the creativity of that rap. I mean what is the meaning of banana fall on you? Bottom big like trailer? Flat like slippers? Really? The voice is another thing. In vocal training you are asked to look for a musician whose voice, singing style you would want to attain and understudy. To be frank I am yet to see a Nigerian singer .

    • Ade

      May 10, 2018 at 4:52 pm

      How about Terry G? At least he sang (or screamed): I’m a singer singer singer!!

    • Engoz

      May 10, 2018 at 5:57 pm

      Ade has killed me! Lollllll!

    • Oma

      May 10, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Timi Dakolo nko? Simi? Cobhams Asuquo? Etc
      Biko their lyrics are not mediocre

    • 9ja

      May 10, 2018 at 10:38 pm

      @zzzzzzz, consumers vote everyday with their wallets. They are people in this world who like punk, metal, country, so-called mumble rap, etc. It takes all kinds and if we all shared the same taste life would be extremely boring. Meanwhile, how many times has Asa, Simi, Tim Dakolo, M.I., etc., sold out a stadium-sized venue entirely on their own?

  5. Linda

    May 10, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    Abegi make we hear word.
    This AFFLUENZA RICH BOY with no manners
    All relationships with him is short lived. He wasn’t raised well unfortunately. Chioma enjoy the money and save well. Google AFFLUENZA he’s a prime definition of it

    • TheRealist

      May 10, 2018 at 10:59 pm

      @Linda, well-raised people do not come on the Internet and start insulting people they do not know from a can of beans. Nor do they learn a new word and start flinging around out of context. Affluenza does not apply to anything that Davido has done. Quit projecting!

  6. Baybie

    May 10, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    This made me laugh big time, thanks for the humour, hahaha! Most Nigerian ‘artistes’ are just entertainers, they have fun with their songs which helps reduce the naija stress in us. The economy is too hard abeg, we cannot come and kill ourselves! Anyways, I really hope the true artistes like Praiz and others get their well deserved success soonest. I love real singers when my mood is stable and I love entertainers when naija frustrates me, everybody get their own market. LOL!

  7. Engoz

    May 10, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    Lol, Baybie, you are even calling them entertainers…these ones no be entertainers o but professional jesters. Entertainers are your Michael Jacksons, abeg.

    • Baybie

      May 10, 2018 at 6:32 pm

      Hahaha! Very true

  8. Martha Ako

    May 10, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    ? ?.. Why are Nigerians so funny.. Professional jesters. ?

  9. Dominica

    May 10, 2018 at 9:38 pm

    Wow,the guy has a point sha buh anyways I careless

  10. 9ja

    May 10, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    This writer will not kill person o! Excellent satire…

    As for many of the comments here, why are some Nigerians such incurable haters? Someone even derided Davido for supposedly having “an average middle class Atlanta house” as if it were beans. SMDH. Meanwhile, Baybie seems to be one of the few to get it that it takes all sorts and simple entertainment has its place and importance in the kaleidoscope of life. Not every person must be fighting aluta continua or preaching gospel. Sometimes, we just need to a simple singalong that would not task our brains after stressing through the typical Naija day. Sadly, Nigerians keep keeling over dead at relatively young ages and blaming the proverbial “my village people” because we never learn to de-stress.

    • Seriously

      May 11, 2018 at 3:03 am

      It’s not about hating, it’s the truth. Davido has an average middle class Atlanta house contrary to what he portrays as a billionaire’s son with his own money, one would think he has a house in Beverly hills or the hamptons bcos hes constantly showing off his riches.

      Buying a house in the U.S is a huge accomplishment in general. My point is, most of these celebrities are faking, American celebrities included. Only few are truly balling and it’s not strictly through entertainment they probably have other business projects. Those with the “real money” are behind the scenes. But Nigerians are carried away by flashy things and I can see women demanding these men for assurance when they know damn well the guy can barely afford it.

  11. TheRealist

    May 10, 2018 at 10:45 pm

    Funny piece! Had me cracking up. Well done.

    Meanwhile, some seem not to get that the Porsche is just a gesture and are rather fixated on its monetary value. Anyone (and yes, including females) is free to make their own gesture according to their own level and/or circumstances and taste to their significant other. His/her reaction to the gesture will say as much about him/her as anything else.

  12. Chris

    May 11, 2018 at 7:40 am

    Davido has nothing to offer as a musician he came into music just to intimidate girls posing with girls everywhere he goes

  13. Sunday Ukafia

    May 11, 2018 at 9:59 am

    Another great article by the legendary writer Leroi. I’ve been following you for a while now and you’re always on point.

    Davido really need to tell us what changed, probably in Aye he was referring to another girl?

  14. TitiLamar

    May 11, 2018 at 10:09 am

    OBO issa LEGEND.

  15. Uwem

    May 11, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    Two thowsin naira only…hahahaha…loools…Leroi dis is an awesome piece,i hope Davido gets to read dis

  16. Nweke chiamaka

    August 10, 2018 at 11:45 pm

    The is saying the truth shaa
    He is davido done change many girls chioce of gift to their boy friend.
    Davido don make many girls y their answering their names y not chioma

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