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Listen to this Woman talk Finding out her Husband is Gay & Living with him for 7 Years & Counting on “The Talk with Vanessa”



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The Talk with Vanessa is a podcast hosted by Vanessa Willie, a certified Relationship and a Marriage Coach. The show features counseling on real issues being faced by people in today’s society. Contemporary issues like addiction, abuse, and relationships are understandably given particular focus and listeners are encouraged to talk about their various problems to get counseling, therapy, basic help when needed and a support system to get through life’s challenges.

Listen to the first episode about Samuel’s battle with depression here.


In this episode, Vanessa speaks to Ifunanya. See synopsis below:

He seemed like the perfect man. He was all she ever wanted in a man, her Prince Charming! And when he proposed, she screamed a resounding Yes!

But a few months into their marriage, her perception changes. She starts to notice some disturbing traits in her man. One late night, after a lot of persistent inquiry on her part, he opens up. 

“I’m gay.” He breathed resignedly.

In this emotive podcast, Ifunanya tells about her ordeal in a loveless marriage, where she has endured physical and emotional abuse and nights bereft of affection and sex; and about her passion to seek a better life for herself and her children.

They’ve been married for seven years, Ifunanya said, and most times, they have sex in 3-4 months intervals. They both have two children together.

She said he doesn’t support her or the children and she’s been the one shouldering the responsibilities.

Listen below:

Photo Credit: Dreamstime


  1. Iyke

    July 1, 2018 at 9:53 am

    I didn’t listen to the podcast…just commenting based of the write up.
    They’ve been married for 7 yrs and have two kids..hmmm
    Ok, what if I say that he’s actually straight, but for whatever reason he’s been having sex with men.
    Quite unusual right?
    The marriage is safe and can survive,in my opinion. His behaviour is not really about the wife,but HIM and his unmet needs.Although these issues affects his wife and hus marriage profoundly,perhaps seeking the counsel of a professional will help unravel the root causes of his behaviour.
    I don’t think he is gay.

    • Bodunade

      July 1, 2018 at 11:49 am

      Its liquid, its clear, its tasteless, its safe for drinking but its not water. It may be 5alive or Biggie Apple

    • Seriously

      July 1, 2018 at 8:37 pm

      He identifies as gay. He’s more sexually attracted to men and will rather have them. However, still wanted to meet the society expectation by having kids. The best is for the woman to leave him to live his truth and move on because she will never satisfy his needs and thats a heavy emotional, mental stress on her.
      I read an article on another website where the woman is married to a gay man. But she decided to stay married bcos of their children She mentioned how she had to engage in more anal sex to please him. Yet he still cheated with other men.

    • Adeleke

      July 2, 2018 at 9:15 am

      maybe he prefers to be the receiver

    • whocares

      July 2, 2018 at 6:26 pm

      are you being sarcastic? you are right? lol if not, I and an overwhelming number of people i imagine wonder how a marriage characterised by both emotional and physical abuse, as well as the fact that one of them doesn’t find the other sexually attractive (hence gay) can survive?
      so long as Nigeria and other silly countries continue criminalising homosexualism, this will continue to happen. it also happens in the reverse. I am sorry for the individual people and victims in these circumstances, but then again, on this very blog i have read some women say they would rather their “husbands’ be gay and married to them because “men are scarce” (you know yourself you would said that) than allow a law that decriminalises homosexualism be passed… so?

  2. Akuna Kuna

    July 2, 2018 at 3:06 am

    I almost fell into this same trap, this could have been me. I sha don happy say I find out early and I bounced. Women in Nigeria, make una shine una eyes wella because them plenty, go through his phone if you must,If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. saves you a lifetime of heartache.

  3. Cmbo

    July 2, 2018 at 9:10 am

    Seems he confessed early in the marriage. So i’m not sure why she decided to wait and have children with him. What does she expect the counselling to do for her marriage? it’s definitely not going to make him straight. Please leave what doesn’t serve you. You don’t have to be stuck in a loveless marriage. Society will adjust.

  4. keke driver

    July 2, 2018 at 11:52 am

    I have said it on this platform countless times and i’ll reiterate. Until we legalize same sex marriage and allow people live as they chose, many will keep making this mistake.

    I know someone that’s gay but he’s married with 2 kids, his wife has NO clue whatsoever, but her Husband goes about chasing young guys for sex.

    Sadly there are so many Men married to women and are very unhappy and vice versa.

    • Cocoa

      July 2, 2018 at 4:46 pm

      We will never legalize same sex marriage in this country , i rebuke and bind any attempt of such evil in Jesus name!!!

      We will not negotiate with terrorists.

      Like any other sin people hide to commit…the sinner ahould know REPENTANCE is an option…God is waiting to FORGIVE.

      That is the ONLY OPTION.
      Take it or leave it.

      What next? We should legalize that yahoo yahoo boys can live in peace?

    • Smh

      July 2, 2018 at 11:05 pm

      It’s clear from your comments which side you are “leaning on. Well, guess what, newsflash it will never be legalised. Deal with it. Like Nigeria does not have enough problems, you now want to legalise aberrations. Heck no.

    • Keke passenger

      July 4, 2018 at 8:09 pm

      Hellooo ?, why can’t we just leave immoral and wrong things aside?
      “No” to same sex marriage o. Men still cheat with other women, should this be legalized too? Pedophiles are everywhere, should it also be legalized?
      The fact that people do things doesn’t make that thing right. The question should be, how do we curb homosexuality??!!!

  5. Cocoa

    July 2, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    To be clear , the terrorist im speaking of is the DEVIL.

  6. Sherlie Holmes

    July 2, 2018 at 5:10 pm

    Jesu Olorun Oba o! This has me shook! And the fact that apparently this is becoming exposed as common in Nigeria is even more crazy!

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