Joshua Oyenigbehin: How to Get the Best Out of Your Introverted Kid

I must confess, I do not know what it feels like to be a parent. However, I understand what it feels like to be burdened with the gift of introversion as a child. My parents barely understand my love for quietness.

My experience as a teacher has made me realize that children also have their unique personalities. In most cases, they grow up satisfied with the personality caste they find themselves, until the adults in their lives begin to find everything wrong with the way they lead their lives, or applaud them for leading their lives up to the standard of the society.

Of course, every human society likes a child with open arms, a child who understands how to build relationships with people around them. It is, therefore, difficult for parents to understand and come to terms with the quiet attitude of their introverted children.

Note: an introverted child does not need your help as a parent, he only needs your understanding. These are some things to do as parents or guardians of an introverted child.

Understand your child’s personality
As a result of the dearth of knowledge of personality traits, most Nigerian parents don’t understand who their children are. They probably don’t notice the traits that make their children who they are. This will lead to a parent not understanding how to get the best out of him or her. It is, therefore, important for parents to understand if their child is an introvert, extrovert or an ambivert. Knowing these details about your child will go a long way to helping you understand how to approach the social peculiarity of the child.

Respect your child’s personality trait
Sometimes, parents tend to be overwhelmed by the societal perception of a child’s social life. The society tends to appreciate children that are socially active, and as such every parent wishes for their kids to conform to that. They put pressure on the child to do or be what they believe is best. Some go to the extent of comparing their kid to other kids. This is a terrible thing to do. Parents must understand that their child is special and cannot be like any other child out there. They must learn to respect their children and the choices they make.

Find out what they are passionate about
Introverted kids are gifted. They usually have one special talent or skill they pay attention to. These help them concentrate and explore their quiet world. Their passion or skill might range from knitting to programming, from writing to singing. As parents, you need to find out these talents. Encourage your kid to do more, take them out to places where they will be able to do things they love doing, and meet people doing those things. This will help them build solid relationships with kids who share their passion.

Be patient with your introverted child
The psyche of a child is very delicate, and that of an introverted child is even more fragile. In terms of their socialization, it takes longer for an introverted child to trust and connect with a person. Parents need to be patient. You might introduce an event to them, but do not force them to participate. They can fully participate when they have found an interest in what you are introducing them to. Parents need to keep introducing their child to events, craft, and gatherings, but should not force them to get fully involved.

Don’t see your child’s life in your own social ideals
Most parents grow up either nostalgic or tormented by their lives as kids, and want their kids to have better experiences. With this in mind, parents tend to project their alleged awkward social lives as children on their kids, hoping they will not have the same difficulties they had growing up. Doing this is terrible. It is bad to judge the life of your kids against the scale of yours. Your kids have their lives to live, and imposing a routine on them to avert the lot you suffered as a child is counterproductive. Try not to tell horrible stories about your childhood to motivate them. The fact is that it will never. It will only cause them to be even more withdrawn.

Introverted kids love their space. Until you understand this, you will be confused as to how to motivate them. Love them for who they are. Get to know what they love to do, and use it as a link to make them socially active.