Connect with us


Hephzibah Frances: The Top Three Reasons I Want to Get Married



It’s another Sunday and again, I am leaving church with no husband. No proposal and no prospect of marriage yet. Nothing.
It’s not all that bad because I have told God I am not here for a husband but it does beg the question of “where is my husband?” Where and when am I going to meet this man?

It’s been almost ten years of being single. I’ve had a great single life. I have pursued God as my lover, led two women ministries, written books, as well as travelled the nations but I feel something is missing now: I want to be married. The problem is I do not ‘just’ want to be married.

Ever since I decided I wanted to be married, I have had propositions from different types of men. But the issue is I have told God I do not want to settle with just anybody. And I have lots of reasons for this.

My Calling is a Radical One

My calling is one that would need a radical man. I am “called to the nations,” no jokes. What that means is that I can pack up my bags anytime and go to whatever city or nation God is calling me to go to share his gospel. A man who needs a traditional wife would not need me.

Are there quiet seasons where I would be required to stay at home and nurture my children? Yes, there are, and I am prepared to have them. But the man I marry must never be deceived that that’s the regular way of my life, and I refuse to lie about this aspect of my calling just to get a husband. My regular way of life is to travel and go to the places God asks me to take His word to. I have said yes to this. I have sacrificed myself on the altar, telling God to send me and I will go. Wanting to get married will not make me take back my yes. I will not sacrifice my calling on the altar of marriage, nor will I settle.

It Would Take a Special Kind of Man to Marry Me

This man would literally have to marry me, and then offer me back to Lord, saying “she is yours, not mine.” Any man who thinks I am his alone would not do so well with me in marriage.

I would never agree with my husband that he owns a greater portion of my heart than Jesus does. I will never call him the lord of my life and heart because he isn’t. He would always be one step below God. I will be submissive to him and love him but when it comes to obeying either him or God, I would choose God.

My calling would never be up for debate. It is either my calling is important in the marriage, or I am not going into the marriage at all. I will take care of my husband and our children, respect and love him under God.

My Marriage is a Kingdom Marriage

For years, God has been speaking to me on how I am not getting married for my own joy or happiness alone but to build His kingdom upon the earth. Marriage, as He explained it to me, is for me and my husband’s calling to gain a greater reach for the kingdom of God as there is no time to lose because the end time is here.

I remember in December 2016, lying on the floor in Ado-Ekiti after reading a Bible study on Hannah’s covenant with God for her son, Samuel, with tears running down my face, and chest heaving from tears, I told God the only thing He required from me: “my marriage shall be for your kingdom.”

So you see, I can neither afford to marry someone who isn’t in this kingdom of God, nor someone who doesn’t have the same desire to use our marriage for the glory of God. I have made a vow before God. I will not renege on my vow because of my desire to be married.

These are my top three reasons for why I desire to be married but I would not move an inch nor make a decision in favour of anyone if these three things aren’t there in one man.

You notice that my top three reasons for not settling just to be married have no physical or material attribute to them? Do I want those? Of course. If God blesses me with a Boaz or Isaac – single, wealthy, tall, athletic and has his head screwed on tight with wisdom, why would I say no? But those are not deal breakers for me.

What are your reasons for wanting to get married?


Featured Image: Dreamstime

Hephzibah Frances is a Lawyer and author currently based in Lagos Nigeria. She is an author of more than 15 books including the best-selling book “Prayers for your future husband”. She is a Voice for the Lord. She proclaims God to the Nations through her songs, books, podcasts, talk-shows, movies and the new media. Carrying God’s word to her generation on the wings of the wind. She is the founder of two women ministries, The Women At The Well and The Deborah Generation She is also the founder of Awakening Youthful Seeds For Christ Initiative a Non-Governmental Organisation focused on raising purposeful youths. She runs a business to help authors and aspiring authors BIRTH THEIR BOOK DREAMS at Beautiful Feet Publishing - Email: [email protected] for help with all things publishing and marketing your books. ***** KEEP IN TOUCH: Email her at [email protected] Follow Her On Social Media: On Facebook: HephzibahFrances On twitter @Hephzibahfran/ On instagram @hephzibahfrances Listen to her Podcasts At: Podcasts By Hephzibah Frances Watch her videos on her YouTube Channel at - Hephzibah Frances Read her blog at Download FREE eBooks written by her from here


  1. Mary

    July 23, 2021 at 8:47 pm

    But those don’t sound like reasons you want to get married. More like reasons you won’t marry anyhow or reasons you are cautious about entering marriage. I admire your conviction and pray the Lord answers your prayer and opens the eyes of the man who will not only love you but love the direction the Lord has set you on and maybe lead both you and your husband on the same path. More grace to you in Jesus name.

  2. Ogechi Favour Tugbiyele

    July 26, 2021 at 8:04 pm

    God bless you immeasurably more, Sis

  3. DESSY

    August 3, 2021 at 2:12 pm

    The no 2 reason on submission is first settled before saying yes and when this is settled the question of whether one will obey him or God first does not come into play because the word says we should be submissive to our husbands in everything. So, bottom-line, a God ordained husband will always align with the will of God for our lives and will always make decisions that are good for us even when it may not sound good to us so there wont be need to choose between Him or God’s decision cos his decision will align with God’s will for us. The first question we then ask before saying yes is can i be submissive to this man?

  4. Ms R

    August 19, 2021 at 11:21 pm

    Are you sure I didn’t write this? I truly felt like I was reading my story as I read this. I laughed really hard after the first point because I absolutely relate. May God give you the grace that you need in this season of waiting and the right kingdom partner to do life with ?

  5. Jenny

    August 21, 2021 at 5:35 pm

    Hmmm oh Lord!!! Amazing!!! There’s no husband to be that can be greater than Jesus the Lord of my life! Spot on sis. May God grant us our heart desires no matter the distractions and the waiting period. Hallelujah!

  6. Hephzibah frances

    September 12, 2021 at 10:02 pm

    Yes I agree with you Mary. The original article title was “three reasons why I won’t settle, ”

    Amen to your prayers

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Tangerine Africa

Star Features