There are a lot of people who don’t have issues with setting goals and achieving them, but they are so clueless as to what they want. Some know what they want but don’t know how to set goals to get what they want.
People who fall into the former category spend most of their time on what they shouldn’t do, what they can’t, or shouldn’t have. It is very hard to determine what they want when they keep focusing on the things they don’t want.
Do you know that sometimes, focus creates blindness? If you turn to focus on an object behind you, you will be blind to the object in front of you. If you turn around to focus on an object in front of you, you will be blind to the one behind you. The big question is this, “What are you focusing on?”
Many people just don’t have an idea of what they really want. If you are one of these people, you may have to take some time out to explore yourself. You want to make sure that you invest some time to sit down, get a notepad and pen, and write down all the things that you don’t want.
List them one by one. Ask yourself why exactly you don’t want these things. What are the alternatives to the things you’ve listed? For example, if you don’t want a husband that emotionally, psychologically, financially and physically abuses you, then decide the kind of man you want to be with: How does he behave? What are the things that this kind of man does? Who are his role models? This seemingly little exercise will give you some sort of clarity and direction.
To decide what you really want in life, decide what will give you a sense of completeness in the short, medium and long term.
- Would I like a family?
- What kind of family?
- Is this within my control?
- What can I have that is within my control now?
- What do I need to start doing in the direction of what I want?
- Would I like to have a six-figure pay cheque?
- Why do I really want this?
- What is it that I truly desire?
You also need to determine who and what you are living your life for. Are you the type who wants everyone to like and accept you? If you are, most of what you will be setting goals around will be inclined towards getting certain people to like you.
To stop this, take a notepad and pen, and do a list of the things you want and why you want each of them. Is it for you, your parents, spouse, children, friends, society, social media, and so on? If you realise these goals are not for you, cancel them immediately; you can’t live your life pleasing others. When you become successful, these same friends and family will be the ones to celebrate you and benefit from your success. Ultimately, when you take your destiny in your own hands, set goals for yourself, achieve them, the people who you need to like you will eventually like you.
So, as you prepare for a new you, I urge you to take some time to do an evaluation of who you are, what you want, where you currently are, and where you want to be. These exercises would put you on the right path. To make that difference in your life, you will have to take control of your life and explore life on your own terms.
Even though this process may take some time, it will definitely be worth it in the long run.