Abisola Owokoniran: Are Lastborns Really Spoilt Brats?

First, I would like to ask about your position in your family. Are you the firstborn, secondborn, thirdborn, or the lastborn? After you answer, please consider whether any traits are specific to each birth order. If you believe such traits exist, do you think they are exclusive to that particular group?

I’ve observed a trend on social media. When someone is perceived as stubborn or unreasonable, they are often jokingly labelled as a “lastborn.” While many people may dismiss this as just a joke, I can’t help but feel that there are underlying beliefs that suggest this characterisation is, in fact, taken seriously by some.

As the lastborn in my family, I can honestly say that lastborns often get away with more than our older siblings. However, we also face a unique set of pressures. While it’s true that firstborns carry a lot of responsibilities and are held to stricter standards by our parents, lastborns have their challenges as well. We constantly feel the need to prove ourselves not only to our immediate family but also to extended family members who tend to overlook us. Many of us don’t want to be treated like babies once we reach a certain age, yet we often find ourselves being pampered, which can be quite frustrating.

Do you know what it feels like to not be seen as your own person, but rather as an extension of your mother or siblings? You spend your life fighting to be recognised as an individual, yet you often find yourself overshadowed by your older siblings. Do you understand how it feels to be perceived primarily as the youngest child? This is why many lastborns tend to rebel and choose to forge their own paths. We strive to express our individuality and establish our own identities, just like the other kids in the family, despite the common assumptions that come with being the youngest.

Often, we are not rebelling; we are simply making our stance known. As the youngest sibling, if you don’t stand your ground, there’s a chance that your other siblings might bully you.

As the youngest child, I know there is a common perception that lastborns are spoiled brats who get everything they want, especially from our parents. While this may hold some truth, we also strive to ensure that everyone in the family is okay. We are attuned to when someone is feeling sad or down, and we do everything we can to lift their spirits. Some may label us as soft-hearted or weak, but it is our compassion that makes us easy to get along with most of the time.

Lastborns tend to be more sensitive because we often find ourselves the target of family jokes. When we try to speak up for ourselves, we’re frequently reminded of our position as the youngest and that, out of respect, we should remain quiet. It’s painful to feel the urge to react and defend ourselves, only to feel unable to do so because it would be seen as disrespectful. We’re often told, “Don’t be rude to your older siblings.”

The purpose of writing this is not to portray lastborns as saints or victims, but to provide perspective on their actions. We simply want to feel heard and valued.