FRIDAY TRACK: 50 years old; One owner; Needs parts; Make offer

Posted on Friday, October 1st, 2010 at 1:12 PM

By Bobo Omotayo


Kilon ‘Green-White-Green’ Sparkles!

Congratulations and jubilation fellow boys and girls, I suppose if we were still in primary school then I might ask you all to join me in reciting “….bata mi a dun koko ka…..” or perhaps we can match to “…. I remember when I was a soldier, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya...” in good patriotic cheer.

Your country, my country, our country is 50 today. So before the smarty pants amongst us start shooting their mouths off, let me assist you in getting all the age jokes outta your system (i) Hard work will pay off later. Laziness pays off now! (ii) Nigeria doesn’t have a solution, but she admires your problem, (iii) It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser, and (iv) Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

Let’s give ourselves a huge round of applause, now pat the person next to you on the back; we’ve all outdone ourselves with the non-existent level of enthusiasm in the build up to this golden jubilee celebration.
Lagos has been duller than an episode of Tinsel – this unsuitable build-up has made Ghana’s 50th celebration comparable to an Olympic Games opening ceremony. Even our dear brothers in the press with their infinite powers did little to rally people together or attempt to whip-up patriotic sentiments; not a single word of hope has been published, instead we have downhearted pondering pieces such as “Nigeria at 50: What’s to celebrate?”

I’ve got a response for you ‘downers’: Nigeria. We may be a peculiar country, but we’re a great one, too. The country of Azikwe, Balewa, Ironsi, Shagari, Soyinka, Achebe, Okri, Saro Wiwa Dele Giwa, Fani Fawehinmi, Bola Ige.

The nation of danfo stickers that read ‘God dey’, ‘Emiko olorun ni’, ‘Wabilahi Taoffek. The nation where there are 15 escorts cars to one state governor. The nation where all high-end supermarkets are owned by Lebanese and Indian immigrants, the nation of road side spectators, the nation that grooms football heroes on sandy pitches under bridges, the nation of the sprinting plantain chip/ recharge card/ handkerchief/ motivational books/ car charger/ tremor mints/ toilet plungers/ gala/ stale digestives and shortbread hawker.

The nation of the personalised license plate, the nation of the bucket-helmet okada rider, the nation of drink and drive, the nation of pointless traffic, the nation of ‘contracts’, the nation of GEEPEE tanks, the nation of the eternal optimist who brings God into everything including road fixing, the nation of ego, owo, kudi and of course, wazobia.

The nation where everyone knows someone who can do the job, the nation of “our transformer has blown”, the nation where you can ‘catch fun” and encouraged to “take softs”, the nation of a zillion public holidays including today.

But this 923,768km2 total land area is also home to kunu, palm wine, zobo, afang, draw soup, egusi and miyan yakuwa. It’s home to Chris Okotie’s Fresh party, the coat of Arms, 109-seat Senate, nationalist movements, the Niger and Benue river, Obudu Plateau, 774 local government areas, 521 languages, Pidgin a.k.a Nigerian English, Shooting Stars F.C (a.k.a. Osupas), Kano Pillars F.C, Ocean Boys FC and current champions, Enyimba.

Home to Highlife, Afrobeat, Fuji, Fela, Ezebuiro Obinna, King Sunny Ade and of course “….Omo Naija ni mi. Naija l’obi mi si. Naija ni mo ti bere si ni ka ABC…”

So anyone who badmouths us (at least today) is no longer a citizen. And since traitors only respond to strength, from now onwards we will be prepared to be much stronger. And all the foul mouthed Nigerians should be prepared for that.

So Happy Birthday, you old bird!

If no one celebrates you Nigeria…the youth do but, be kind to us; we’ll be choosing your nursing home.

This week’s Friday Track is from Labrinth and it’s the very happy and uplifting “Let the Sun Shine”.

Enjoy!

(Breaking News!!!)…Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

UP NEPA!

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  • 28 Comments on “FRIDAY TRACK: 50 years old; One owner; Needs parts; Make offer”

    Comments
    • D.O.T.M.H October 1, 2010 at 1:44 PM

      I’m still angry.

    • lolita October 1, 2010 at 1:45 PM

      wotever mehn…

    • viv October 1, 2010 at 2:30 PM

      nice 1 !

    • Kloi October 1, 2010 at 2:59 PM

      I get the “Lemon anderson” vibe in your piece … not bad

    • Tew mad October 1, 2010 at 3:02 PM

      ok Mr Kilon sparkles im soo feeling ur Dagrin shout out! “Naija ni mo ti bere si ni ka ABC…” Let the sunshine is a great song but MR.PATRIOTIC I would have appreciated Shina Peters as my friday track mehn!

    • BKay October 1, 2010 at 3:14 PM

      I love this post!!
      Happy birthda 9ija!!

    • cherchezlacurl October 1, 2010 at 3:23 PM

      Up Nigeria! If China can work it out, so can we. We’ll get there some day.

      • Omada October 2, 2010 at 11:04 PM

        when?

        • Bimby October 4, 2010 at 9:11 AM

          Very soon,it is just a matter of time…….Rome was not build in a day.

    • Nneka October 1, 2010 at 3:43 PM

      Nice jere. Naija rocks! Would have preffered a diff video related to the independence theme. Still nice.

    • Molicious October 1, 2010 at 5:57 PM

      Thank you oh Mr. Kilong sparkles. Happy Independence

    • Bukky October 1, 2010 at 6:11 PM

      Naija is 50 yay!!a bunch of parties, expensive shows to attend….then what?hope that you dont run into a stationary molue on the unlit road, pray that armed robbers dont attack you..finally, you get home and no light?

    • Lagos Boy October 1, 2010 at 7:01 PM

      Nice read……

    • Zaine October 1, 2010 at 7:19 PM

      lol…love your last line….”If no one celebrates you Nigeria…the youth do but, be kind to us; we’ll be choosing your nursing home”

    • molade October 1, 2010 at 7:28 PM

      lmao@ land of Geepee tanks.

    • Gino October 2, 2010 at 3:00 PM
    • naijahiphopmusicdotcom October 2, 2010 at 8:31 PM

      Motivational Post. nice one. Keep it up.
      http://www.naijahiphopmusic.com

    • Franz Ferdinand October 2, 2010 at 10:06 PM
    • WaleAdeniji October 3, 2010 at 9:14 AM

      Let us all reflect on the future ahead of Nigeria and Nigerians. Where did we miss it? How did we get to this sorry state? What is the way out? Can’t our country get it right like other countries? Are we all going to be proud to bequeath this situation Nigeria is to our kids? Definitely, the answer is NO. No one wants this. We all have to rise up and do what we have to do. 2011 is here, let’s do it right for once. Mo wi temi ooo.

    • mis m October 3, 2010 at 10:15 AM

      *standing ovation* love it love it love it!!! And pls all haters shud outty. Be grateful for what u have in order to order in new things x

      • DeeDee October 3, 2010 at 3:58 PM

        Haters of what?mchewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    • rita ohai October 3, 2010 at 2:39 PM

      simply FANTASTIC…laughed my heart out. thank you for making me smile!!

    • Lohi October 3, 2010 at 10:57 PM

      hahha good read!!!

    • eMJOY Mayowa October 4, 2010 at 5:11 AM

      good piece indeed. at least I gotta mention (kudos)
      JOY

    • biola October 4, 2010 at 10:19 AM

      fantastic!! had me smiling all through

    • Ms. Jayee October 4, 2010 at 11:11 AM

      You got the stale digestives part right!! arrggghhhhh!!!!

    • Garnetcore "Boss" October 4, 2010 at 12:09 PM

      You forgot to add the ‘Aluta Continua” of our educational system and our dear wonderful MEND brothers.