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Internet Love – to Google or not to Google: Dispelling the Myths (Part 1)

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Bella Naija Cyber DatingWe are all in a cyber craze. We get instant emails on our phones; we share pictures and intimate details of our lives on web pages that can be viewed by millions anywhere in the world and we communicate with our friends at the other side of the planet at minimal cost. But does the Internet offer opportunities for hot, fast, cyber romance? Well, current statistics scream a resounding yes! A recent American study claims that 236 E harmony (an American dating website) members get married everyday! That’s 2% of all US marriages!

But despite such high statistics, some are still finding it rather difficult to embrace this new-found way of finding the ‘one’.

Case in point, I recently accompanied a friend to her colleague’s wedding. My friend works with the bride who is Nigerian while the groom is Caucasian/British. The wedding was fairly uneventful in places, the usual ‘uhing’ and ‘ahing’ at the sight of the couple kissing, as is customary at weddings. However, things seemed to take a somewhat comical turn when the best man took to the microphone to give the traditional best man speech. I couldn’t help noticing that most of the ladies on my table were giggling. “The guy is funny but not that funny” , I thought to myself. It was on the drive home that my friend revealed the reason behind the giggles.

Apparently the bride had told all her friends that she met her husband at a training session in Manchester, only for the best man to ‘cobalise’ her by revealing that they had actually met via an internet dating website. The insults from all the girls in the car were unstoppable. “What type of loser meets a man online”, one asked, “the desperate, fat and ugly type” another replied followed by shrieks of laughter from the others. I remained silent. You see, I couldn’t help thinking to myself that everyone in this car was in their very late twenties and single (except me). And seeing as we had just returned from their supposed friend’s wedding, maybe the real losers where actually sitting in the same car with me. Although the thought did give me secret reasons to chuckle, it also set my mind racing. What exactly is wrong with Internet dating? Are Internet daters losers? What kind of people actually use online dating sites?

Now I have always been the inquisitive type. So for your reading pleasure, I have decided to do some undercover investigation. Yes, I have done the unthinkable and registered with an online dating web site. Yes, yes, I can hear you all screaming now, “how could she?”, “she must be desperate!”. Regardless of your personal opinions, I think this will go some way in dispelling, or reinforcing some of the myths that have been floating around regarding Internet dating. However seeing as I am in a relationship, I had to set some ground rules!
1. All dates must be male, yes keh…I don’t swing the other way oh!
2. Under no circumstances must the guy come to my home
3. We must meet in a crowed place for coffee only, no hot dinner dates
4. I must dress appropriately, no low cut tops or mini skirts
5. I must have seen the guys picture
6. I am allowed only 3 dates, with 3 different guys under no circumstances can I meet the same guy twice
7. And it obviously goes without saying that under no circumstances shall there be any “hanky panky” involved

So with these ground rules in place, I went about my business and registered with 2 of the most popular Internet dating websites in the UK. I filled in the forms as honestly as I could and yes, I used my real picture. The only lie I told was my name….Bella Woods!!! Anyhoo, after a couple of weeks of emailing back and forth, 4 different guys had asked me to meet them for coffee. Now my man was quick to point out that our initial agreement was for 3 dates only. So I had to choose. And seeing as I felt he had been more than understanding about my little experiment, I decided not to push my luck!!

Below are the statistics of three of the guys I eventually chose. The dates have been arranged for next week
Date 1: Mr Hotelier
Age: 35
Occupation: Hotel manager
Hobbies: Travelling and hiking

Date 2: Mr Investor
Age: 32
Occupation: Investment analyst
Hobbies: Swimming and going out with friends

Date 3: Mr Architect
Age: 33
Occupation: Landscape architect
Hobbies: Being with family

…and I shall as usual report back with all the juicy details …wish me luck!!!!!
In the meantime, tell us what you think about cyber-dating. Is it a YES or a NO-NO? Ever tried it? Go ahead and share your stories.
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Glory Edozien is an exciting new addition to the Bella Naija family. Glory is a writer based in the UK and you can expect exciting articles exploring a wide spectrum of issues including relationships and topical issues. BN welcomes Glory! You can click to read her first article for BN – How to Survive Your Ex’s Wedding

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are https://www.canadianmeds4u.com/category/buy-antibiotics-online/ more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on www.inspiredbyglory.com

19 Comments

  1. miss mini me

    August 14, 2009 at 11:01 am

    oh niceee. Can’t wait to know what happened. Goodluck.

  2. Boss

    August 14, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    Nice one Glory. Very interesting topic. My question is – What do you think about christian dating websites? Would you feel safer or more comfortable using those? Comments please…….anyone…….

  3. Moondog

    August 14, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    I agree with you, Glory. The real losers are her uptight friends. This is 2009, you can find anywhere, online or at your nearest buka.

  4. My-feet-hurt

    August 14, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Met my husband on a dating site,I’m Nigerian,he is White/British.We went on 4 dates,and just knew,six months later we were married,4 years after and a set of twin girls to show for it,we couldn’t be happier.
    And no,i’m not FAT,OLD OR DESPERATE.
    Never was,never will be
    Was 26 when we met,i’m 5 feet 8 a size 10,working with one of the top hotels in the world and hear STUNNING everytime,he was 36,6 feet 2,workd in hedge funds…BUT we just both hadn’t ever met anyone we clicked with in the “real” world.In the real sense,we were the type of people EVERYONE expected would never have a problem,meeting the opposite sex.But the reality is that,it never works that way and truth is there are soooooooo many single people out there just searching for that one person they “gel” with.
    Name it,,i’d tried it…parties,weddings,hook-ups via friends,aunts,etc..it was always a dead end.
    Until once some colleagues were talking about internet dating,i signed up for one,met a couple of guys till i clicked with my husband.
    And here we are today.
    My brothers(im an only girl)laughed the hell out of me for been such a loser for having gone as far as internet to meet THE ONE..all in good faith of course…
    shhhhhh….one of them just had a major wedding where he met the girl on the net..BUT they cooked up a story of how they met–clowns…..ha ha…the girl na naija too..but said she would be damned if she told a soul she met my brother on the net…
    But ive never hidden where we(my husband and i) met as to me,it might spur one person to give it a try.
    It does work,just be ready to meet as many wrong ones as is normal with meeting in the “real world”
    keep an open mind,and you never know.

  5. Elpee

    August 14, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    Im hanging on tight to this one… have to know wat happened

  6. gbekun

    August 14, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    dear dear i guess it all depends on ur luck. d so-called “xtian” websites might b full of snakes or might nt. i think its best u go 2 d general datin sites n then find out if d person is xtian or nt frm there. supposin xtianity is a prerequiste 4 ur consideration???

  7. Nice Anon

    August 14, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    In this day and age when everyone is on the net? Pleaseee people are meeting each other on the net just that they won’t come out and tell you. I think the negativity that comes with Internet dating is slowly fading not like it used to be in the early 90’s when Internet was still new.
    No be everyday we dey hear sey persin bf don dump am for FB or hin don meet new bobo for facebook?

  8. cuppatea

    August 14, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    nigerians can be SO pretensious! honestly who cares how you met? what matters is that you’re with someone who respects and loves you, share the same values and that you have a great time together. just my two cents

  9. Bebe

    August 14, 2009 at 11:45 pm

    ooohhhh….good one! can’t wait!

    sure, the losers are the friends….i’m sure they have all registered on same site [but will code it from everyone]
    I don’t think i have liver for internet dating sha……but i have nothing against it. does hooking up on facebook count as internet dating? it’s the in thing now o…know a couple of people who met on fb…so, wouldn’t mind that sha!

  10. mary

    August 15, 2009 at 12:23 am

    Love this write up, women sha like to make up how they met Mr right!!!

  11. BiggestBossThusFar

    August 15, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Dating websites are great NOT hook-up websites….

    EHarmony not LavaLife… Ya dig? lol

  12. Xos

    August 15, 2009 at 2:40 am

    I don’t think I could do the internet thing, it’s just not my style, so i can understand “my feet hurt’ brothers reaction and his girlfriend. Good luck to u tho Glory!

  13. mie mie

    August 15, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    i love this piece, am interested in meeting my dream guy online if this is what it takes cos i don dey knack 30 and still no Mr right , what is the best site to visit , a site i will meet a decent guy not a fake or a snake.

  14. Dayo B

    August 15, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    Nice article…looking forward to follow-up articles. i agree with some comments on here…there’s nothing wrong with meeting people online…really what’s the difference between making friends on facebook who end up being your really good friends and meeting a life partner? abeg naijas need to get over that pretentious hump asap!! i’d rather meet someone online than be married off to some aristo!

  15. Linda Lopez

    November 19, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    I met my husband online. I’m Nigerian and he is Puerto Rican. Also, I was not desperate, fat or lonely. We didn’t meet in a dating website. We met via chatting. We have been 2geda 4 6 six years, got married dis yr. He’s d love of my life and nothin’ compares 2 him. It’s not necessary dat u’ll meet “Mr. Right” in a bookstore, coffee shop, church or library. My “Mr. Right” happened to be online and I thank God that are 2geda and will always be, God willing.

  16. augustine

    December 23, 2009 at 11:42 am

    the a being can never resist is love that is why iam searching for real love and i have come to see another face of love which i know can be you, so austino is out here for i need you my friend .repply me via this email

  17. augustine

    December 23, 2009 at 11:45 am

    i can wait hear from you my love you can get through thi phone number +2348064697247 that is to sho you the level of seriousness i have for you bye

  18. augustine

    December 23, 2009 at 11:48 am

    sorry for mistakes on the write up

  19. Tgal

    February 8, 2010 at 10:43 am

    I met my Partner through facebook, and if things goes well, we would be walking down the aisle pretty soon. I am a slim, 5:9, young woman. And compared to the relationships or guys I’ve dated in the past, this dude is just so right for me. He treats me so well, he understands me, he encourages me, he’s everything I’ll ever want in a man. Its so amazing that each day I bless and give thanks to God for giving someone the idea to create a site like facebook.

    So her friends calling her pathetic/ a loser because she met her Mr Right via the internet is just plain absurd. They should be the ones who need to look at themselves and get rid of their old ideologies fast!

    Sometimes its not about where you meet the right person but how far you both go together.

    I feel the internet is just another road opened to meet the right one. as long as both partners are honest then it should be fine. I also feel you actually connect with that person more intensely before the physical aspect comes in.

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