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Growing Pains

Glory Edozien

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I remember when I was young and all I wanted to do was become an adult. At the age of 5, I would wear my mum’s dresses and high heeled shoes and pretend I was gossiping on the phone with my friends. I remember when I was 10, my older brother locked me in my room while he watched Police Academy because my dad said I was too young to watch. I remember on the eve of my 13th birthday how excited I was at the prospect of becoming a teenager only to discover my parents couldn’t care less. I still vividly recall writing them a letter explaining that as a teenager, I was now an adult. I explained that as an adult I required more pocket money to buy ‘adult things’ and wanted my curfew changed from 5pm to 9:00pm. My father instead concentrated on my spelling mistakes in the letter while my mum complained about the illegibility of my hand writing. When I complained that they were missing the point, my dad promptly told me that if I believed I was now an adult, and needed more money I could get a job. I never mentioned the letter again. Even till today I still recall the arguments I had with my mum during my teenage years about make up, boys, short skirts…the list was endless. At the end she would always say…Glory, you are trying to grow-up too fast!

I entered my twenties with such excitement. The parties, the boys, the cloths, the FREEDOM! I was 21 and legally an adult. I had a first degree and the world was my oyster. I was going to be a multi-millionaire, own my own home and have a conglomerate with a dotting husband and 3 wonderful children all by the ripe old age of 30. Why not? Nothing was impossible. I was Glory Obiajulu Edozien and the world had nothing on me. Then I moved to London for my Masters and life began in earnest. There was no bank account of daddy and mummy. There was no shoulder to cry on and give me the needed confidence boost I so craved. I was alone and life was hungry for blood! My job was crap and the boys were even crapper! The parties were filled with the same faces every Friday night and the designer bags and cloths were getting too expensive, without daddy’s purse. I had responsibilities, my rent, petrol costs, my bills, my credit card repayments, my groceries, my cloths….sheesh! Then there was the close friend (the so called sister from another mother) who betrayed me, the boyfriend I loved who cheated, the job I wanted that I didn’t get and the friend I loved who died. Life……

All of a sudden life wasn’t as rosy as I thought it would be. I realised there was nothing I had control over. Absolutely nothing. I was 28 with no conglomerate and was definitely not a multi millionaire. Even my friends who were married with children reminded me daily that the grass was no greener on the other side. Instead as my responsibilities and people’s expectations of me increased with each passing second, my own confidence in life continued to decrease drastically.

Then one day, it happened. I am not sure how exactly. But it was over Christmas holidays and I was talking to my father at his bedroom veranda. He was telling me stories from when I was a toddler. My first word, my first tricycle, my first fall, my first footsteps….and then for no apparent reason I started to cry. At first it was the silent one eyed tear that could easily go unnoticed. Then suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, it became a gut wrenching, nose sniffling cry! My dad looked at me in amazement. “My darling daughter” he said as he removed his glasses and placed his hands on my shoulder ‘ogini’ [what is it]. “Why are you crying?” He asked as he looked at my face with a bewildered look in his eyes.

It took me almost two full minutes to regain my ability to speak. But after wiping my eyes with my palms, my tear ducts decided to take a water break. “I am tired daddy” I finally said.

“Tired of what my dear?”, he replied moving his chair closer to mine.

“Tired of trying daddy” I answered. Life is just too hard. “If it’s not one thing it’s another. I want to be a child again, I want to be in diapers and not have to worry about anything. I want my biggest concern to be what toy I want for Christmas and not where the next rent payment is coming from. I want someone else to decide what I should wear and where I should work instead of putting up with all the office and tribal politics at work”. “I am scared daddy”, I continued. “Scared that none of my dreams will come true. Scared that next year I will still be stuck in the same ole rot I am in now, without any improvement or indication that things will change for the better. Scared that my dreams will remain just that…dreams”.

My father’s bewildered frown had now turned into a smile. “My dear daughter”, he said as he took my hand into his. “You will be just fine”. “How do you know that daddy”? I asked cutting him off. “How can you be sure”? “Because I too had those same fears”, he answered looking straight at me. “I too wondered whether the storms of life would cripple my ambition and drive. But look at me now. Look at our family. Life is a hard place, but you must fight your way through. You must learn to stand up straight after every fall, count your losses and move on”. “You must learn it”, he repeated. “That is what grown-ups do”.

So after my somewhat tear filled conversation with my dad I started to reflect on life and I realised two things. First, life doesn’t always hand you your dreams on a platter of gold. You have to fight your way through. Some fights you lose and some you win, but whatever the case, win or lose, the lessons you learn are invaluable and the person you become through those challenges is the Person God may have just intended you to be. Secondly, life isn’t for kids, everything has its time, so enjoy the process of growing up….laugh and learn from your mistakes, celebrate your achievements no matter how small and appreciate those around you. We only get to live this life once, so it’s about time we all start enjoying the process.

Photo Credit: www.scotimages.com

Glory is the host and executive producer of Inspire Series, the web talk show which uses the collective stories of everyday women to inspire others. She believes women are https://www.canadianmeds4u.com/category/buy-antibiotics-online/ more than hand bags, hair, make-up and other externalities and is passionate about about pursuing purpose and living above societal conformities. She is also a day dreamer, and romantic at heart who loves TV, food and family. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @inspiredbyglory and read more from her on www.inspiredbyglory.com

51 Comments

  1. Onyeka

    May 17, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    wow. thank you Glory. God Bless you. dis is for me!

  2. Ola

    May 17, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    This is such an amazing post..love it!!!

  3. muah

    May 17, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    ohh this is revealing and it came at the right time …
    i have been confused on what the future holds for me , angry at how hard life is ..
    scared of wat will become of me now that i have graduated ..
    i guess i have to grab the bull by the horn and take life one step at a time..

    thxx Glory for the encouragement!!!

  4. iNterested

    May 17, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    i love you for this, so poignant, so true

  5. Molicious

    May 17, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Thanks….. 🙂

  6. Boobie

    May 17, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    wow! I’m always laughing at your posts! But, this one hit home!
    Amazing! sometimes, you just need to hear someone speak out loud your thoughts and then realise, really! life is just that, life. You make of it what you can and keep moving. May God Bless Us All.

  7. jess

    May 17, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    wow this is amazing, but even a new born baby will try to roll over and eventually start walking. It’s all about progress.

  8. chica

    May 17, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Thank u Glory! I could tell you we all go through the same phase at a time in our life. Irealised that here in the States while looking at an old family picture. Seing all those who were gone and remembering how Daddy didn’t want us to live abroad. The worst part is they are not even here for me to tell them how much i value life than i used to.

  9. Funmie

    May 17, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    i want to read this over, i need to properly digest it…… Thanx Glory!

  10. 9icegirl

    May 17, 2010 at 10:54 pm

    Glory, God Bless you. Everyone remember what God said,” I know the plans I have for you. They are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jer 29:11. Ever since I moved to the US, I don shine my eyes. Life is not easy, but God dey.

  11. JJ

    May 17, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    This is just what I needed..THANK YOU SOO MUCH!
    I too was taking a trip down memory lane and wanted to stay there…Ive just turned 22, and life is throwing some testing trials! But anyways sha, God dey!

  12. Ann

    May 17, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    Your best piece……..yet!:) Nice one!

  13. sessy

    May 18, 2010 at 12:26 am

    wow…what a honest post!…so revealing and true

  14. jcsgrl

    May 18, 2010 at 12:51 am

    My dear, I’m just crying with you on this moving piece.
    Thank you for putting a smile on my tear stained face.

    xoxo

  15. Tosin

    May 18, 2010 at 1:03 am

    Thank you girl – God bless you

  16. geee

    May 18, 2010 at 1:24 am

    was never a good blog commentator even though i feed off reading everyone else’s lol……Glory, thanks for being vulnerable enough to share what’s up with you, it’s really describing how i’ve been feeling these past few months but i’ve been too ashamed to tell anyone becos i’m always looked at as the 22yr old ambitious powerhouse…

  17. Babatunde Adeyemi

    May 18, 2010 at 1:55 am

    Beautiful piece.

  18. Edowa

    May 18, 2010 at 4:59 am

    GOD works in mysterious ways HIS wonders to perform.He reveals things to us, when we feel most discouraged. With GOD on our side, we WILL prevail..Hang on tight people.It may be a choppy ride, but we’ll make it through.

  19. jessy

    May 18, 2010 at 5:55 am

    this is amazin……..love it. true life is hard

  20. me

    May 18, 2010 at 8:15 am

    This story depicts exactly what happens in our lives full of dreams,goals and
    our objectives ,but once we fail to meet all those at the time set we feel
    worthyless . it is so true that we have the drive but at times we easily give up.
    With GOD on our side everyday bear in mind that we not the sort that gives up
    so easily.whatever the situation persistance,self competion ,discipline and fear
    of God can make us better persons and endure till we attain what we want.
    nice story

  21. fokasibe

    May 18, 2010 at 8:22 am

    Hear! Hear!! Well said…I rest my case.

  22. chichi

    May 18, 2010 at 9:13 am

    This post actually reminded me of a post a certain young lady sent me sometime early last year. Not sure if I should reveal her real name here, she normally sends a happy friday everyone series with her real name 🙂 but actually has a blog : http://reached-the-top–reckons-manybe.blogspot.com/2009_03_01_archive.html. We all go through these stages in our lives, and I did remember at the time how I wasted my life and my youth looking forward. Thank God I was able to check this, and turn it around. Thank you Glory for this timely reminder again. There is indeed a time for everything, I guess we pretty much learn the hard way.

  23. chichi

    May 18, 2010 at 9:16 am

    sorry, here’s the link to the post http://reached-the-top–reckons-manybe.blogspot.com/2009/03/living-in-illusions-of-future-i-was.html 🙂 I think her secret identity is still safe with me (I think).

  24. Debo Ade

    May 18, 2010 at 9:18 am

    hits so close home….

  25. Aibee

    May 18, 2010 at 9:26 am

    Thank you Glory for this beautiful piece. I’m 25 and seem to be going through anb early mid-life crisis. This articles mirrors everything I feel and fear all at the same time.
    Thank you so much for the encouragement. God bless you.

  26. damola

    May 18, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Celebrate every achievement, no matter how small.

  27. Ada

    May 18, 2010 at 9:56 am

    Thanks Glory, this write-up was just for me. It is not all about how many times a
    man fall, but the ability for us to stand up when we fall is more important than
    the falling. God bless you again, Glory. It is well with us all, amen.

  28. gbegborun

    May 18, 2010 at 10:30 am

    Hey Glory, Your articles are alway fantastic!!! Beautifully written, honest and funny. Love you girl! More grease to your bom bom : )

  29. motuns

    May 18, 2010 at 10:36 am

    Thanks Glory for this wonderful piece. I am encouraged by your aritcle.

  30. vanessa

    May 18, 2010 at 10:38 am

    fantastic piece.

  31. Enoemem

    May 18, 2010 at 11:39 am

    Thanks. I needed this

  32. Mel

    May 18, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Hey Glory, thanks for this piece…I remember when I read your first (or is it second) now on Bellnaija about ‘Internet love – to google or not to google’. I remember thinking “wow, her bf must be very understanding to allow her go on blind dates with three different men!” I hope he wasn’t the one that cheated o? (kidding). but thanks tho, this was very timely.

  33. olamide

    May 18, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    Growing pains indeed you have just relieved so many people of their pains, Nice one……………………..

  34. Somewhere in the midwest

    May 18, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    I can so relate, I actually made a list..shuuu I want to be 18 again…

  35. Ngozi

    May 18, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Thanks Glory for the post, i could so relate to this

  36. Efe

    May 18, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    Very nice article…I’m sure alot of ppl can relate to it, I definitely can.

  37. Tess

    May 18, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    Glory, i am a regular reader of your write ups and i must say: ”you are good”.
    Even though i”m commenting late, this is just me and my story.
    Nice one, keep it up

  38. D.O.T.M.H.

    May 18, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    I hope all these thank yous make u smile and may I add mine, thank you.

  39. phototress

    May 18, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    Thank u Glory, the ending actually brought tears to my ears. true wise words

  40. TT

    May 18, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Oh so true! i do get frustrated at times and sometimes wish I never moved to England.
    I miss home so much and day dream about when I was younger and didn’t have to worry
    about anything most especially hearbreak.

  41. JesulayomiBella

    May 18, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    Amazing! and uplifting!

  42. pinkfunky

    May 18, 2010 at 10:48 pm

    Thanks for this article which will supply giggles and grins that what a twisted world we live in!

  43. Miss Natural

    May 19, 2010 at 12:56 am

    Growing up is scary…but so is anything in life that hasnt been experienced before. You hit the nail on the head Glory…I loved this write up.

  44. fruit of love

    May 19, 2010 at 10:43 am

    I cried when i read this post. This is exactly what i’m going thru right now. Afraid of being stuck in d same ole rot and afraid of what will come if i decide to take a risk and fight. Thanks Glory cus this post just encouraged me to fight, cus life is hard no matter what.

  45. myra

    May 22, 2010 at 12:10 am

    ds article spoke 2 me, WORD…

  46. Mandie Moi

    May 27, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    This is very wonderful..nice piece..dats all i can say..very nice

  47. jennietobbie

    May 27, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    I shared in your story; I cried in your story; and then I smiled. I know EXACTLY what you are going through and you will SURVIVE!!!!!

  48. jennietobbie

    May 27, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    been there….

  49. Afribabe

    June 1, 2010 at 1:59 am

    “Life is a hard place, but you must fight your way through. You must learn to stand up straight after every fall, count your losses and move on”. this line says it all

  50. beanie

    June 1, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    WORD!!! we all live with d fear of uncertainty and d same fear spurs us on. thanks gal

  51. nelly

    July 18, 2010 at 8:08 am

    i came back to read this most and the comments cos that’s what i need to hear
    now, this site has been my source of strength esp as someone without a big sister to
    share my dark moments with, i have found a big family of sisters here and i’m so loving it

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