Connect with us


FRIDAY TRACK: How to Respond to a Pen-Pal in 2010!



Kilon Sparkles!

What is it with people expecting others to pay their way through life? We see it at the bars when you have a table of 10 yet only 2 will foot the bill after the last drop of Grey Goose.

We see it at the Ikoyi Club, with people acting like they own the club yet they are visiting on other people’s membership card. We even see it in government, when you bump into friends on Oxford Street and they claim to be “on an officious assignment” yet we know they are sent by the Big Oga to go buy his favourite Russell & Bromley shoe.

Last Saturday, an old pen pal promised to visit. I looked forward to it as anyone would especially when you haven’t seen this person in almost close to two decades – I mean, the last time we saw, I was marching for Nigeria @ 30 in my kotina shoes at my school’s annual independence celebrations.

So as I sat at home awaiting the arrival of my ‘pen pal’ turned ‘email-pal’, I received a rather strange text saying ‘Dude….do you have 1k on you?’. I say strange because we had just finished speaking about directions to my house minutes earlier, how come this wasn’t mentioned. So…I ignored.

Then I get a phone call approx. ten minutes later, asking ‘Did you get my text message, the taxi driver said the place is too far…”, unfortunately for my pen-pal turned email-pal, I didn’t have cash on me but even if I did I was largely irritated by this request.

After all, you knew damn well that you didn’t have cab fare before you got into the taxi, but you did it anyway because supposedly Bank of Destination will pick up the tab. There clearly was no consideration that perhaps I didn’t have any money on me. More so, I did not instigate the visit, I was asked and I obliged. If I had suggested it, perhaps I could see how we had ended up here.

Two hours later, still no arrival, I called (just in case the taxi driver had thrown some tyres round his neck and turned him into kebabs) but the phone rang and rang without a response. This got me very angry as it showed a lack of respect and I simply couldn’t comprehend why someone would suggest that you meet up yet fail to think about their capacity to get to the chosen meeting place.

I originally parked that entire saga until I got a text message last night and it read “I am very upset. I am really disappointed at our friendship…”

I must confess the shotgun part of me wanted to respond immediately but I thought I’d let you give me some colourful recommendations on how to approach this. And please I beg you please, enlighten my ignorant self on why exactly my pen-pal turned email-pal is upset.

This week’s Friday Track is Young Jeezy and his new hit ‘Lose My Mind’. Click to Listen



  1. brooks

    June 18, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    yipee.1st to comment.just let him be for a while.he will call u later on buh i really dont get why some pple are like dat.

  2. BB

    June 18, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Tell him to climb a cliff and jump off

  3. Jane Doe

    June 18, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    Your pen pal must be a girl in disguise. lol


    June 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    The dude must still be wearing his kotina shoes…..the goat how will he vex!! the impudence he even had the effontry to send an email saying he was dissapointed!!! please should I help you type the reply!!! nonsense and concobility!!

  5. Aisha

    June 18, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Which kind friendship be dat one na? Eating off u till u drop and when u so much as ask for thier assistance (GOD no go allow am!) they flee!

    You really need to call and sit this entity down. Let him\her know how you feel about it all and that you don’t brook such form of disrespect.

    Whatever this entity says will let you know just the sort of person he\she is.

    Trust me, I had enough of such kinds and decided to weed them all off my life. I am happier for that decision today.

  6. Molicious

    June 18, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    Lmao, ahah, Jane doe, stop it oh, lol, but men, ole ni eni yen o…. abeg, first of all ask ur pen pal y they are upset, then respectfully insult the idiot 🙂 okay no, I’ll play nice, ask them why they are upset and tell them your view on the issue and whatever happens after that.. oh well

  7. Sasha

    June 18, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Simple!!!! Ignore the penpal turned email pal. Some friendships are not meant to go anywhere and this is a typical example….. Don’t loose sleep over this one.

  8. Sasha

    June 18, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Simple!!!!! Ignore the pen pal turned email pal. Some friendships are not meant to go anywhere and this is a typical example. This is so annoying.

  9. ij

    June 18, 2010 at 9:44 pm

    heeeeee!!!! i clap in ibo, ah ah! wonders shall never cease, was there
    any agreement that u will pick up the tab for the taxi fare ? moreso why would
    u get into a cab when u havent got the money to pay for it.

  10. Adia

    June 18, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    Kpe he he he (I laugh in Igbo) this is classic receivingitis (a disease in which a person expects or believes you owe it to them to give them whatever they deem fit). Jane Doe…what do you mean girl?? ta..don’t let us feminist finish you o!! we are INDEPENDENT..he he! But then again Mr OmoT, so we can cover all the bases..perhaps he intended to reimburse you?

  11. Ijeoma

    June 18, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    LMAO at Jane Doe. The text response should simply be “So am I”. A longer text might cost more money unless you have unlimited texting… but then that would be a waste of time.

    • jmayaki11

      November 22, 2010 at 8:25 am

      I agree.

  12. Omotesse

    June 19, 2010 at 12:08 am


    well people get like that sometimes, your penpal prolly thinks you’re loaded and maybe even demanded for more…….so just ask the reason for the upset if not genuine then the relationship may well be ended…..

  13. Pinky

    June 19, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    lmao @ “i clap in ibo”…. Too funny as I can actually imagine the clap…

  14. Debo Ade

    June 19, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    Agree with Ijeoma… simply reply “So am I”. Rubbish

  15. Karimah

    June 19, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    like Ijeoma said… simply reply “So am I”. Rubbish

  16. eran iya

    June 20, 2010 at 7:30 am

    U shld reply him well am baffled @ y ur upset& disappointed. But really has dere was no prior agreement btw d begge nd Bank of Destination d response was only logical

  17. marie

    June 20, 2010 at 8:48 am

    To be fair, let me propose an alternative scenario, What if he had lots of money but as soon as he got in the cab, realised he forgot his wallet at home?? Or was mugged?? There might be a genuine reason for his forwardness (or he could just be a regular naija hanger-on) but you never know.
    In other News, Bobo do you have a ladyfriend? I appear to be developing a massive crush on you. Might have to actually come up and speak to you next time I see you. Don’t be alarmed, I’m Quite hot myself. ; )

  18. Aderonke Tee

    June 20, 2010 at 9:38 am

    Piss takers! kpsshew! I think you should just ignore the dude! People like him should be ignored!

  19. femi

    June 21, 2010 at 7:20 am

    I think its wrong 4 u 2 v jumped in2 conclusions… Anything could v happened man.. The normal thing 2 do is ask why? The response would then let u draw ur conclusions… I think d problem here is u & ur perception of stuff like dat.. If this person has been ur penpal for two decades, then u should b able 2tell certain things about dis person and d least u could v done is @least give the person d benefit of doubt… Cos dude.. There could b a thousand and one reasons y he could v asked for d money apart from ur own thot of him trying 2 leech off on u..

  20. Dr Dee

    June 21, 2010 at 11:04 am

    LOL @ “We see it at the Ikoyi Club, with people acting like they own the club yet they are visiting on other people’s membership card.I feel you big time on this as its just so annoying

  21. marietta

    June 21, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    yeah, that’s nigerian mentality for you… tell him to go jump off a cliff if he can’t afford a simple ride to visit an old friend….

  22. Ronnie

    June 21, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    I partially agree with Femi. Give him the benefit of the doubt first,if he now still yarns opax, tell him the story of his life(hiss)

  23. chubby

    June 23, 2010 at 11:58 am

    u said the last time you saw this dude was close to 2 decades ago so am sure s1 u avn’t seen 4 2 decades, u surely are not missing. u dnt nd such parasitic friends

  24. Pearly

    June 24, 2010 at 8:19 am

    My first time leaving a msg here…but just cldnt ignore this..
    First things first…@Femi, dat is total crap!!!wat cld possibly have happened???how hard is it to pay for your cab?+if anything had happened, how about explaining to who u wanna get money from??
    n to think u havent seen someone in a while, u invite urself over(nothing wrong wiv dat), but then u expect ur tab to be picked by asking that gracelessly???c’mon, he should get a life…
    N then d ‘Im disappointed at our relationship…’ text???what is going on here?? Im a girl n in all my younger, car-less years in Uni when I had to go n see my BF, I wld pay my cab before I even ring d bell to let him know Im there…n he had a huge prob wiv dat, sometimes even chilling outside so he cld pay my cab guy off…but I knew wat I was doin…honey, its called self-respect n I neva regretted it….Gosh…n then he is a guy???I hope he dosent av a GF!!
    Pur-leeeze…dats so upsetting!!
    Honey, you absolutely did not do anything wrong…you cld maybe even have offered to pay under the right circumstances..but him asking like its his right???ders just something TOTALLY wrong here…is all I have to say!!

  25. BoSs LaDY

    June 24, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    Nice one Bobo…im laughing my heart out.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Tangerine Africa

Star Features