Connect with us

News

Can We Play Dress Up?

Published

 on

Every woman has a picture of the kind of man she wants to be with. Me for one, I have always envisaged getting married to a lanky man who is intelligent and has a great sense of humour, a great dresser, godly, respectful, very loving, faithful… the works! However, since I and all other women aren’t “God”, we can only envisage and pray our desired men into our lives, but it’s not a given that when they finally turn up, they’ll look and act the way we want them to. So, I’m left wondering… if my man doesn’t talk the way I want him to, can I keep him anyway and then work towards changing his diction? If he smokes and drinks a little too frequently, can I still keep him and then dedicate time to pray for him so that he’ll give up both? If he isn’t fashion-forward, can I tactfully change his wardrobe? Maybe I can influence him to toss some of his clothes and shoes… can we play dress up?

Due to my strong belief in human rights principles, I have always felt that people should be left alone to express themselves in whatever way they deem fit… as long as no one gets hurt in the process. However, lately, from my many interactions, I have observed that even though women mostly go into relationships with men whom they feel somewhat of an attraction for,  as time goes on, they begin to note down some qualities that they would rather live without. Using these notes as a guide, they tactfully start to influence their men to change.  Since women can be manipulative, they do this with little or no effort, but I’m left wondering… is this right?

I have seen men who have been “transformed” and the outcome appears to be for their own good (I think). At this point, I find myself struggling to choose between one of two conflicting views:

(1) The right to respect men (people) just as they are and deal with them accordingly and…

(2) The right to change men into what we want them to be.

A friend recently told me that she has been spending time with a certain person whom she possibly wouldn’t have granted any audience many years ago for one reason or the other. She has now discovered that she enjoys many of their conversations. However, she can’t get over the fact that she sees him as a “project”! While he is talking his head off, she, being a fashion-forward person, constantly visualises him wearing this and that and looking totally hot! “Why waste a potential hunk?” she said to me. She justifies her actions by telling herself that she is only trying to make him a better person. Is she for real… or not? Can we have it all? The obvious answer is NO!

If she is keen to be with a great dresser and her man hasn’t a clue, should she “chop him off” and then give the next fashion-forward hunk a chance or can she dress him up to be what she wants him to be? Do his own preferences count? Would he wake up one morning and find that he no longer recognises himself in the mirror and hate her for it or would he thank her profusely for adding even more “quality” to his life? What does “quality” mean? If you say it’s okay to dress him up, will his ego accommodate it? Is it wise to let trivial factors like a man’s dress sense or diction determine whether he can earn the position of “husband” in a woman’s life? Are these factors truly trivial or are we just ashamed to admit that they are important for fear that we would be seen as materialistic or fickle? Is it even possible to successfully change attributes of a fully grown man who is already set in his ways? So many questions…

Although we all want to have it all, it really never happens that way. That really great man can turn out to be unfashionable or a glutton! He can have a broken diction or whatever else we don’t want in a man. We just have to see our potential partners as imperfect human beings just as we are and not the “demi-gods” that we want them to be! However, since I never go down without a fight, I am certain that I will attempt to dress him up (if I find it necessary) with the knowledge and acceptance that should he refuse to change, I can remain happy with him… forever and ever.

61 Comments

  1. Ayo

    November 16, 2010 at 11:14 am

    Ejire..where have u bn?

    nice article…

  2. IamSassyChic

    November 16, 2010 at 11:17 am

    Great post. It sometimes boil down to the unrealistic wants of women and our plight to have a perfect man. I find people who seek for all their wanted qualities in a man quite deluded since this can never be possible.

    A lot of young women are out there single and are not ready to lower their high seeking standards or take off some stuff of their check list. My perfect or Mr Right is a dicey concept, he never exist in our real world, maybe in our fantasies.

    What we have is to accept the one close to our wants and embrace what he brings (both good and his follies) and together we can live happy after!

    Check out my blog http://www.iamsassychic.com

  3. Child of God

    November 16, 2010 at 11:21 am

    CONCENTRATE ON THE CONTENT AND NOT THE CONTAINER

    • lustre

      November 18, 2010 at 11:23 am

      word

  4. adenike

    November 16, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Great!!!!!! Just like you rightly pointed out;we can’t have it all. Sure we all have our individual preference when it comes to settling down but basically,women should learn to accept men the way they are. Let’s be realistic,men are more tolerant of attitude/dressing/diction and all that,than women. We want to change everything and everyone that comes our way forgetting the fact that we also have our imperfections. Let’s assume a 32yr old man is disorderly(his room is always unkempt),his girlfriend of 1year will want to change him at all cost into being orderly-that is going to be a difficult task! It’s quite hard to swallow,but honestly we ladies need to tone this down. Let us learn to accept/respect men the way they are. There is no perfect person….

  5. Ronnie

    November 16, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Hahaha!..Nice read.No one is perfect and we can never get the complete package in one person no matter what.Now, whether it’s wrong to try change a guy to fit your desire depends on your motive. Are you really doing it for his own good or for yours? If you meet someone who has breath issues(lol) and you like his other characteristics, buying him mint and other stuff to help him isn’t bad at all. On the other hand, if you meet a guy who’s always wanted to travel and do charity work and you try to force him to get a 9-5 job he’ll end up resenting you. There’s a thin line really and it takes wisdom. A friend of mine met her then boyfriend, who is now her husband when he was very rough around the edges with serious “H” factor, but she loved him anyway and bought him books, changed his friends(..voila!) they seem really happy now and he’s doing very well. So, as long as you’re not a total control freak, it really depends IMO 🙂

    • mariaah

      November 16, 2010 at 6:31 pm

      haha @ H factor..

    • fabetbeau

      November 17, 2010 at 7:54 pm

      Why is H factor considered so bad! Other countries have accents too. For me H-factor’s is not a deal breaker but poor grooming is!

      @creamy – Pray, make suggestions in the nicest way possible and don’t disrespect him. If you are meant to be together, it’ll happen.

    • Obie

      December 15, 2010 at 9:37 am

      Ronnie.. U’re totally on point, U just spat words of wisdom. I liked ur comment the most.

  6. Faith

    November 16, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    I think it depends on the individual really and what you may be able to live with or not. For me, I find that dressing is not a factor at all. I actually have a thing for bad dressers. Lol. Bad diction is, however, something I don’t think I can live with. I don’t speak Queen’s English so I am not expecting that but if you can’t speak proper English, I will keep correcting you subconciously. It’s in my nature and my friends get angry about it. Accents don’t bother me though. Another thing I can’t cope with is excessive materialism. It gets on my nerves. To sum up, I believe in individuality and would not want someone to change me to suit their tastes. Take me as I am or have nothing at all. I am not perfect and may encourage some changes to myself but I don’t want to change who I am completely and hence, do not believe in changing others to suit myself.

    • busola

      November 16, 2010 at 12:51 pm

      I cosign…I CANNOT live with a man with a poor diction…that is just me….not arrogance! lol

    • rosemayree

      November 16, 2010 at 5:52 pm

      You just hit the nail on the head.

    • kreamy

      November 17, 2010 at 9:12 am

      Rili love dis article. I presently in dis dilemma where dis rili nice guy cnt dress, but since I rili like him I planned on doin dress up wit him.lol. But dis article just reminded mi dat no one is perfect,so I think him I’ll let him be. Tanks BN

    • mariaah

      November 17, 2010 at 2:46 pm

      Start from buying him clothes as present, look at the staple colours in his wardrobe and take it from there..

  7. Temiloluwa Adebayo

    November 16, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    In as much as I agree with you, there are some things I will, ok, ‘may’ struggle with such as bad diction, being shorter… while others are an outright no no such as being ungodly and disrespectful. I wrote an article on my blog about being a tall girl and how much I’d not want to be with a shorter man and some people almost had my head telling me I’m not focussing on what is important etc. I’m just being honest, really. God will give me my heart’s desires. No point settling for less than His best due to impatience. I will chill jor. There has to be that person somewhere and God will make sure He finds me…:p

    http://temiville.wordpress.com/

    • ochella

      November 19, 2010 at 10:10 am

      Please how tall are you?

    • Temiloluwa Adebayo

      November 23, 2010 at 2:59 pm

      Hi Ochella, Im just seeing this. I’m 5′ 9.5″. In fact, almost 5 10. That’s taller than 80% of females and 65% of males.

      http://temiville.wordpress.com/

    • Noni

      November 24, 2010 at 4:52 pm

      So true Temi. We eventually all have to settle (especially when you get older like myself). But I firmly believe settling should be 70%. Bad diction is something that is such a total turn off for me. A bad dress sense can be changed, but bad diction is foundational and little can be done. Height is a turnoff o, sha if the man has other qualities, it can be overlooked. You are right, being disrespectful is a total no no. Take care

  8. WaleAdeniji

    November 16, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    That’s a nice one. I think one needs to accept people as they are and not trying to change them. I want people to accept me the way i am and not try to change me. However, things that seems not right about me could be pointed out and because i’m amenable to change, i will try and change for good. What makes a relationship works is the ability to co-habit peacefully and accepting that none of both of you is a perfect being.

  9. Lola

    November 16, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    The two conflicting views you mentioned are NOT rights and nobody has the power to change anyone, the men you refer to probably wanted to change.

  10. lizzy

    November 16, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    i thought i was the only one with the diction fetish. Well its not a fetish, its just that it really gets to me, so if i try to subtly correct and its still not changing, its going to drive me far from that person. I do not believe in making people totally unrecognisable to themselves. I allow them to be free to live their lives so if i can’t take it, i let go.

  11. lizzy

    November 16, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Lovely article but dicey situation i must say.

  12. honeybee

    November 16, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    LOL!! For a long time i vowed i will never date a guy who was shorter than me. Im only 5’7. But all the tall guys i was tripping for were just nasty pieces of work. I then fell for a long time friend who was shorter than me and we got along so well even though it didn’t culminate in a relationship. I think its better to goet to know someone for who they are and decide to like them/be with them as they are. Now, just like someone mentioned earlier, i go for content and not the container, as long as he makes me happy!!

    • HoneyDame

      November 17, 2010 at 4:48 am

      Lmao!! sounds like what happens to someone i know. She totally fantasises about tall men, but in the number of years I have known her, which is over a decade, she has only been involved with short men. They seem to meet the other specs. but that height, na the deal-breaker for them…..My person no dey even think am anymore!

  13. nomad

    November 16, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    ha, well. i’m currently (sort of) with a guy for the past four months who fits many of my checklist, tall, insane body, cute face, intelligent, very good dresser AND he’s currently cooking for me something that smells insanely delicious (i’m visiting) while i’m chilling with my laptop AND he quit smoking without any prompting from me. he’s ugh. almost perfect. ok English is not his first language but it doesn’t concern me

    BUT.

    we’re not sure if we can do long distance because right now we live in two different countries. not so far away from each other but not close either, with no guarantee that we’ll eventually end up in the same place in the future because somebody will have to move somewhere unfamiliar…….. poop happens.

    • mariaah

      November 16, 2010 at 6:38 pm

      Sorry, long distance is sooo uggh!!! Just got back from B.F’s today so I knw how its is.. We ve been on a year and counting now, its been great and nt easy @ the same time him driving 4 4hrs to see me, me hopping on coach/train.. Its been crazy but we ll get there.. Wish you all the best..

    • HoneyDame

      November 17, 2010 at 4:53 am

      Uhm! I just wrote a blog concerning something of that sort…..check it out, leave a comment or maybe even raise an issue you might want me to write about….www.honeydame1.blogspot.com

  14. Nov25

    November 16, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Can absolutely identify with this post, have been married for 5 wonderful yrs to a man who didnt “fit” into my criteria of “Mr Right”. Do I have regrets? In all honesty, sometimes i get to think but would I do it again if we were to go back on time? Yes again and again. As I’ve learnt and is still learning to focus on the CONTENT and not the CONTAINER plus we communicate n discuss about these flaws (if u choose to call them that) and even joke n make fun about them and he has absolutely opened his mind to change though not without enough yabbings from me ofcourse! My point is I would rather be with a man who treats me with enough luv n respect but is not as tall/slender as i would ve loved him to be n has a big tommy n his diction? hmmmmm dats another story than a gorgeous disrespectful and self-absolved man who thinks everyone and evrything should revolve around him as is the case of quite a number of people i know. But seriously, i also think that when a woman is totally matured enough to get into marriage not age wise, those criteria we set for ourselves would take a back seat and we would rather focus our choices on what God really want for us. But hey some people still get all or almost all what they want in a man in one package and he is still humane.
    If he does not fit into ur criteria and is willing 2 learn i really dont see any problems with that as my hubby would always say, that is why God brought us together so we can learn from each other n whats more positives and negatives always makes the spark! *wink wink*

  15. ForeverYoung

    November 16, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    ummm…there’s nothing wrong with bad diction, just cellotape his mouf when y’ll go out…cos omo mehn, u don’t want ur guy embarassing u with sentences like “Yess, I wented to the same shorsh”..or just flip the language to ur native lang. If you are with Oyibo pple, they dont care anyway cos y’ll sound the same, heavy accent,thin accent, bad english or not, so……

    And Wassap with this contents and container thing??…abegii…y’ll keep being in denial, afterall, how many of u will drink the contents of a container if its laced with “shit” as in faeces??….container kor, water bottle nii……

    • Elpee

      November 16, 2010 at 8:23 pm

      HAHAAAAAA so evil!!!!!

    • sweetie

      November 16, 2010 at 8:55 pm

      who be dis? , i like you jaare, u made my day, lol

    • Molicious

      November 17, 2010 at 12:01 am

      lmao, lwkmd, nicely said

    • DaBreeze

      November 20, 2010 at 2:13 pm

      ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sister u harsh o!!!!!!!!!! but I agree wit u, I no go lie 😀

  16. Gorgeous

    November 16, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    i am very guilty of this with a high success rate in the past. The problem is i leave as soon as i am done with the “project”. haha. Now i am on my last “project”, i love this one genuinely but there are a lot of things to work on. His good qualities far outweigh the bad. Na here i go stay, but i must manipulate the situation to see how much change i can get him to do. At least i am changing myself as well, so we are both doing this together. The only constant thing in life is change, so change is a good thing.

  17. nevergrowup

    November 16, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    good job.

  18. Molicious

    November 17, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Lmao @forever young…nicely said

    Nice article Ejire. Food for thought.
    Think it depends on individual preferences, if it’s important to me, I would definitely make an attempt to change whatever it is cos like forever young said, you don’t want a brother saying “I wented there yesterday” lmao, yea….no

  19. Ready

    November 17, 2010 at 2:33 am

    I believe relationships should change people. Noone has the right to change the fundamentals of who we are, e.g. if a man is outgoing and loves adventure, no one has the right to change that. However, container-like aspects like his clothing and articulation in my opinion can be changed…some men would know they can look better but they hate shopping, and some know they use some words instead of those they’d actually like to use. Relationships should make us better people; letting a man get to know who I am implies my vulnerability and giving him permission and privilege to make my life better. I reserve the right to do the same if he’ll let me.

  20. caramel

    November 17, 2010 at 5:16 am

    Foreveryoung….no kill person…reeling with laughter here..too funny!

  21. creamy

    November 17, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    i just met dis incredible guy who s so cute . he does not exactly fit into my criteria but i m learning to deal with it. not exactly a good dresser by my own standards n a teeny bit of faulty diction. i m prepared to work on all dat but wat happens if after i do, he walks off to b with some oda woman? i nid answers plsssssss

  22. BUKY OF BUKVILLE

    November 17, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    If the man’s problem is just that he lacks any fashion sense then that is not a big deal. Thank God that he is not addicted to porn or drugs. Ask Coleen Rooney how she is coping with all that money and yet he likes it better when he pays for it.

    Most things are costmetic and can be easily rectify. It is so easy for women to judge men as lacking this and that.

    Sisters, some of you cant cook, clean and are clueless in bed, how about that? Women are full of unrealistic standards, false airs and graces while we all know you are just faking it. As beautiful as some are, the moment they open their mouth the spoil the show.
    I dont mean to be harsh on sisters, but it needs saying. Your girl friends are not telling you the truth because they are equally clueless.

    Honestly, women’s magazine bore me death, yawn!!!! They are all superficial because they know writing the truth is not as interesting. So why dont we keep fooling and deceiving them.

    Check yourself and your false standards if you are clocking 40’s and still single. Wives are getting younger and hotter by the day. Also bear in mind once you are over 30’s the doctors consider you to be “older Mom”.

    Love you sisters but better to work on yourself than focusing on the man’s issues. You can only change YOU.

    Dont hate please, I was once clueless too but my sister woke me up by telling me the truth. Initially it hurts but am the better for it now.

    I am now living my dream life and it is better in reality.
    Read all about it http://bukville.com/2010/08/09/here-is-to-you-sister-dearest/

  23. rubyred

    November 18, 2010 at 1:38 am

    Change is always a tricky subject. A lot of people say, “I don’t want someone that will change me! I want someone that will accept me just the way I am.” That is fantastic… i do to but the reality is people are different and where you have those differences sometimes you have to adjust, compromise or damn well change! I don’t believe core values should change, but attitude, character…these are things that can always be better. In a way, it is your responsibility as a partner or a friend to help people see their blind spots, as long as it is done with lots of love. I believe in self evaluation, so i don’t mind change, i just hate it when people are not tolerant in the process or you are chastised or made to feel inadequate because you are not a certain way.
    As far as clothing goes… I’ll definitely let you know my two cents if i think you look totally fresh off the boat, but if it’s ok, I could care less.

  24. Gloria Anthony

    November 18, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    As for me, am not keen about his dresssing, cos i know with time and patience he will change, when am able to put him through, i can not date a guy who cant express himself well, just imagine him speaking amongst my friends…and they all laugh…

  25. Tentacles

    November 19, 2010 at 10:56 am

    nice one,Bukky.I am 30years of age and i need an educated lady who would not financially depends on me absolutely. There is this new friend of mine whom i like very much, she has 90% of what i always wanted in a woman but she is just an ssce holder and i’ve always wanted a university graduate as a suitor. She is from a humble home and i don,t have the money to fiance her education for now because, i run a part-Time degree programme too,please advice me,what should i do?

    • BUKY OF BUKVILLE

      November 19, 2010 at 3:25 pm

      Wow, thank you so much that you would asked for my advice. I honestly thought I will be hated for my comment. So far so good, I guess i underestimated how mature Bella’s readers are.

      I just saw your post today and I will post a reply to you or better still visit my blog http://bukville.com/ and send me your email so I can email my reply. If you want I will also post my reply on Bella for you.

      Have a fab weekend

  26. BUKY OF BUKVILLE

    November 21, 2010 at 12:49 am

    Tentacles
    I am a little surprised that there was no mentioned of “love” at all. It all seems too professional with you, since you need “an educational lady who would not financially depend on you absolutely”?. What you are looking for is not what makes relationship works. There is more to relationship than education. While i think being educated is a good thing and should be desired in a partner, i also dont think that you have the right attitude in terms of being a supportive partner. I feel insulted for your “new friend, even an harvard graduate wont have your mentality towards her because we are not define by our academic qualifications. Goodluck to you and your future university graduate. I think you need to focus on finishing your part-time degree programme and use this time to think about the qualities you want in a woman.

    • Tentacles

      November 22, 2010 at 12:00 pm

      Thanks. I appreciate your comment. The truth is, i love her very much,i just have this other side of me that seriously bother about her education. She is very intelligent,she has good diction,she is smart and beautiful. I think, i need a woman who can represent me in the nearest future, that’s all.

  27. blackbeauty

    November 22, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    It feels like you took this right out of my mind, this keeps coming in my thoughts. I hate when people try to make drastic changes to me, and I always feel reluctant to change people into what I want them to be. From friends with bad fashion sense, to all kinds of guys. I don’t want them to look back at who they used to be and then curse me for making me loose the old them.

  28. Enyinna

    November 23, 2010 at 5:22 am

    Represent you! You be politician? 🙂 University graduates na dime a dozen for Nigeria… that shouldn’t be a problem. But remember that a university degree counts for very little these days. As I dey, I go university but I still feel ignorant most of the time. I think the secondary school basics are far more important.

    • Yumium

      December 7, 2010 at 9:25 pm

      lol’represent’ him. just what I thought…greatly concerned about status than luv.

  29. BUKY OF BUKVILLE

    November 23, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    @Enyinna, Lol, you are too blunt!!!! I am laughing abeg take it easy on our “learned friend”. All the best with your choice

  30. DIVA

    November 24, 2010 at 11:20 am

    very nice article…ok mine is a guy dresses clueless most times till a woman comes into his life, most times they really do want to b better and dress well which is why they go for a well dressed well spoken lady….my situation is, i am dating this really wonderful guy that is clueless about many things..initially i’d pick fights as a way to communicate what i wanted until i realised he really was cluless so now we’ve gotten close enough to talk about stuff. His dressing is also erm…let me be kind cos his diction is superb but i dress well which tells me he’d want to as well if guided but i’d have to do it with caution but the other day he made it easy for me by saying how he’ll come to me to help him match clothes cos most times he just wears whatever is clean at the time…so there! a guys dressing to me can be changed even very serious issues like place of worship and spirituality…is he willing to change and learn…is he teachable and is it for his ultimate good cos i agree with some ppl that said if you change his innate xter he will resent you eventually so ladies should be careful…be with a guy u can love just the way he is without compromising ur beliefs just incase he refuses to stop wearing suspenders and baggy pants…as for diction…how can u compromise that eh??? how will you even take him home to ur ppl…well i’m just saying cos i know my family and friends…bad diction is a no no…they will probably start calling me by whatever latest shell he dropped the last time they saw him…..

  31. Ferrari

    November 24, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    I did some self evaluation before starting a relationship with my boyfriend. I had laid down rules never to date a student even while i was in school, because in my understanding, i wasnt ready to indulge with boys who didnt want to be men as well as me wanting a readymade package. On the bright side, All my so-called readymade ex-boyfriends were working class and had a whole lot of money to dole out, well spoken, and intelligent. Unfortunately, they were either selfish, chauvinistic or arrogant and when one of them did dole out the money, i had to lobby for it.

    When i met my boyfriend, i assumed firsthand that he wasnt good enough material, bcos he wasnt working class, not taller than me and all those vain irrelevant things we girls worry about. I occured to me that i’ll be sitting, waiting for a good man who fits the insignificant stereotype that i desired, while the good man will be snatched from under my nose. We started dating and you know what, he treats me with respect. He handles me like i’m the most precious and valuable object in the world. He is gentle but firm where need be, he is also generous with his money and affections, extremely kind, intelligent (had a PHD at 28) and above all, he genuinely loves God. He aint perfect, but i can deal with his imperfections as much as he can handle mine. We supported each other financially and today he has a job as well as investments in eastern Europe. We are planning our marriage, and not a day goes by without me wondering how lucky i am.

    I think that was when i really matured. We need to ask ourselves in-depth questions. What happens when the beauty fades, or when the money dries up. God forbid that you end up with some smoking hot, polished, fonee speaking, well dressing dude, who is heavily loaded but surprises you with a beating that will put chris brown to shame.

  32. Mariamah

    November 25, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    A man’s character and quality is what is most important. 90% of the time, a good looking and flashy man, is empty inside.

  33. Dami J

    November 27, 2010 at 12:06 am

    hmmmmm i am guilty in some aspects… i will really struggle with diction… accents are fine to be honest but when you start making very basic grammatical errors is where i have problems. One or two a day is fine.. but when it is every other sentence then erm.. i have a problem there.. but i must say i am working on it.

    Back to your blog….i don’t think it is right, take him as he is or leave him for someone who would. If you take him as he is and he asks for your help go for it..

  34. Dami J

    November 27, 2010 at 12:06 am

    plus…. from my own personal research most goodlooking and clean guys these days are either gay or drag queens….. so yea.. shine your eyes!

  35. MissDee

    November 30, 2010 at 11:09 am

    I think diction is very key sha…and ofcourse dress sense. I dont want my man looking like a joke!!!

  36. laraak

    December 1, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    All most all the comment make real sense i must confess,i ave a problem with men that are {ROUGH} i mean they can’t wash their are on clothes,tidy up their garbage n stuffs,set a goal and work hard in achieving it, always relent,no fear for whom we call {God} no self-respect hw much more to respect a sister in reverse,has a Gf that is always there 4 him no matter what,come rain come sun,can not even save up for his future,earns 3 times of what is Gf earns, he’s yet to save a penny frm it,Can’t even take a sister 4 who they are and not even ready to change for good,cos i believe you can only hlp someone who is willing to take a bolder step on certain situation,hw do u cop wit such pers? that doesn’t even value himself,that doesnt wnt to change,do you stay in or back out? BN

  37. tinkerbell

    December 10, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    you have to have been with mr fine,great dresser,good english and full of shit to learn to love someone for who they are..my man has nice quality shirts and wears them like crap,does not iron his clothes most times before wearing them,hardly combs his hair(doesnt have a comb) and u need to see him after a hard working day…lol…and the crazy part he is clean,does nt smell,baths alot and honestly he has the nicest(and clean) underwear collection i have ever seen.all i can say is i have the best boyfriend in the whole world,who loves me(and i know) and treats me like a princess.he looks so cute and when i see him all i say is thats my baby vry rugged!(i still yap him thou)…lol..i have peace and i am very happy and that is what is important…

  38. BB

    December 10, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    HIHIHIHI…FOREVERYOUNG ABEG NO BI U GO KIL ME WITH LAUGH.
    well; its accept people first 4 whi the are, before we trying to adjust or change that which we dont admire….i think When we love someone we shouldnt pin it down or tailor it to every smal detail.The love we have shd outlook an rserves we have.

  39. mabel

    January 7, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    i think we should just take people as they are but in all we should not take every dick, tom and harry just bcos they are not lukin gud by thinkin we are goin to change them to benefit us but above all people should try to develop themselves no matter what in certain aspects such as dressing, ability to speak well and so on. but in this life i have come to realise that nobody is perfect inasmuch as we try to envisage someone who will suit our own taste. the only thing we need is God’s grace in choosing our rightful partner.

  40. chigbue amaka

    April 29, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    thanks for all ur comments…… lets just ask God to direct our footsteps and make our paths and dat of our future partners to cross for its only him that knows our perfect match and future partners,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Star Features

Advertisement
css.php