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“Akamiakwa”-The Power of ‘Kaming’

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I can almost hear you say “Akami…what?” Akamiakwa! The power of kaming. Look, I had to ask for permission from the boys to let this article be written! And I just know that I am going to offend some people with this one too! But I will not be daunted, for the people have a right to know!

As I am sure some of you have guessed, Akamiakwa is code; yes, a codeword developed by a small group of young men I used to be affiliated with, back in the day. Akamiakwa is a noun; a name given to describe a phenomenon or concept that I am sure some of you will recognise before the end of the next few paragraphs. Please note that Akamiakwa is the noun form of the verb Kaming.  Simply put, akamiakwa is a quality that can be found in a few young women. We used the codeword to name or describe certain young women that had the tendency to stick with a guy whether or not he wanted her around. I believe the Ebonics opposite would be a “bug-a-boo”. Aha! You did not know that guys had one for you girls too, abi?

Every once in a while, guys in the course of their interactions with the opposite sex, meet someone new whom after a short while, they are forced to run away from; and when I write run away from, I mean it in the literal sense. And why would a man literally run away from a woman? One would think that the reverse would be the case, as men chase women, abi? But there are exceptions and akamiakwa is one of those exceptions. We had quite a number of them in school, and I have personally experienced the power of kaming in the hands of a determined young, akamiakwa babe. You still don’t get it, do you? Allow me to paint a picture.

Chike is a regular student. He balances his academic and social lives quite well and as a young, warm blooded man, he likes women. However, he isn’t one of those men that can’t seem to control themselves anytime they see a beautiful woman. Chike is cultured and well brought up. At a party, he sees a good looking girl, dancing with her girlfriend (why, women go to parties and clubs to dance with themselves, I have no clue!), he steps up and dances with her. During the course of the evening he tries to engage her in conversation, to get to know her better. No dice, because dancing queen isn’t giving him the time of day nor night. As a smart guy, who knows when he is flogging a dead horse, he moves on. Lo and behold, a few days later, while walking around campus, he gets accosted by dancing queen. “Excuse me! Aren’t you Chike?” he nods in assent and she accuses him of pretending not to know her. Chike is flabbergasted and takes a second look at the girl. “I’m Clara, we met at Tayo’s party, remember?” Recognition dawns on Chike and he apologizes for not recognizing her in daylight. She accepts his apology. Chike is flattered that she recognized him and even remembered his name. They arrange to meet the following day. After the first date, he invites her over to his place and proceeds to “chyke” her. However, it becomes apparent that Clara is seemingly not interested in him that way. That having been established Chike crosses her from his mind, but over the next few days Clara begins to inundate homeboy with her phone calls and text messages. She then begins to show up at his place unannounced. Being the gentleman that he is, Chike accommodates and entertains her calls and texts, as well as her visits; after all he should count himself lucky that a fine girl like Clara liked his company. But after a while he found out that they really had nothing in common, so they would very quickly run out of gist. Besides, in between the phone calls, texts and visits, there was really nothing left to talk about. After a few attempts at forming gist, Chike thought it would be wiser to tell her to stop visiting him or at the very least slow down on the visits. Clara took it personal and accused Chike of playing with her. My guy was shocked. After all it wasn’t like she was giving it to him! They had a mini-quarrel and she stomped off. Chike breathed a sigh of relief but that was not the end of it because in a couple of weeks she was back to calling, texting and visiting him! He had no choice but to ignore her calls and texts and resorted to dodging her when she came by; as soon as she came to his place, he would get dressed and tell her he was going out. When he shared his experience with the guys, we all burst out laughing. He got angry that we were laughing at his plight, but we calmed him down explaining to him that the only reason we laughed was the idea that he was ignorant of the akamiakwa babes. We then schooled him on the babes and their power of kamin.

You see, certain babes see a guy and immediately form an attraction to him. Maybe it’s the fine boy thing or some other quality that only they would know. But it becomes odd when it is obvious that although they are not dating, or having sex, or friends in the real sense of it, the girls still keep coming around. And it is not for the conversation or rubbing of minds either! They fill up your inbox, comment on your Facebook updates and pictures and are forever pinging you until you are forced to hit delete. They need to realize that men are pretty straight forward beings. The idea of a girl just coming around to chill at our place or hang with us, when there is no connection is tiring and puzzling to say the least. My friends and I tried to figure it all out but we couldn’t really come up with a reason why or an explanation. All we knew was that we had to be careful when meeting women because we did not want an akamiakwa on our hands.

More often than not it ends up badly, with the girl accusing you of being cruel and hurting her feelings, sending you all sorts of emotional and accusatory texts. Guys, please do not fall for this tactic, because once you yield by way of feeling sorry for her and apologizing, she will up the ante and you will be right back where you started with the power of kamin having being multiplied by its original force! So you might have to resort to some nasty tactics. One of the guys shared his experience saying that after the akamiakwa babe had failed to get the message that she was bothering him, he had to resort to rudely telling her that he was in a new relationship and that his girlfriend did not like the idea of their friendship. She still did not get the message! It was not until his “girlfriend” told her off on the phone one of those times that she called, that it eventually sank in.

I don’t get it, it is as if they are immune to those signs that a guy is just tolerating them and trying his best to be nice and cordial. It is not by force o! I learnt the hard way too and after a couple of experiences I can spot an akamiakwa babe on sight, for as my friends and I used to say, “The kamin force is strong in this one!”

73 Comments

  1. anon

    January 28, 2011 at 10:15 am

    Your friend Chike seems really shallow. he invited her over to his the first time to “chyke” and when it was obvious she wasntinterested in moving so fast and “giving him some” on the first night, he dropped her. so he deserved everything he got. useless boy.

    • tee

      January 28, 2011 at 11:48 am

      i dont think so. If a guy is not interested in you, it dsnt stop him from having sex when you offer it to him, and den it’s back to business as usual. girls shld know when to back off! if he wnts u around, he’ll call you. Shikena!

    • Lady Jaye

      January 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm

      good. he is shallow. what about her? she shd get some self-respect and move on. stalkerish ways don’t speak well of her either.

    • Temiloluwa Adebayo

      January 28, 2011 at 4:00 pm

      Girls need to learn self value. Simples!

      http://temiville.wordpress.com/

    • sleekish

      February 5, 2011 at 8:24 pm

      i completely agree. if clara had given him ‘some i bet this post would never even have been written. plus as chike ‘toasted’ her, clara would hv assumed it was d beginning of somethin, so bcos chike became uninterested clara should play by his rules? y did he hit on her in d first place.

  2. You know who...

    January 28, 2011 at 10:21 am

    So dude, this was why you called & asked huh? Lol

  3. lizzy

    January 28, 2011 at 10:40 am

    You know who sounds like someone from the article above……lol.

  4. Z.

    January 28, 2011 at 10:55 am

    lol! na wa oh! i fink i was a kaming babe in skl….

  5. cheaster

    January 28, 2011 at 11:55 am

    Dis article is has no substance, pls delete! Asap.stop fooling yourself. Love is earned not bought.

    • iJustcant

      February 4, 2011 at 1:41 am

      Here lies a Kaming babe lol. Ah ah cheaster why the harsh comment. He struck a nerve eh

  6. Gloria Anthony

    January 28, 2011 at 11:56 am

    hmmm….this is strange, cant believe that some girls could be these possesive over a guy.

  7. mii

    January 28, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    hmmmm…this is a guy thing actually ‘kamin’

    • nmbw

      January 29, 2011 at 3:36 pm

      Beats me. It’s a first for me as well. Nevr knew such word existed… Now u know what the men think of acts like that, it’s best to stay away to avaoid being prototyped.

  8. bluebubbles

    January 28, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    I think if we girls are true and honest to ourselves we wud confessd dat at one time or the other we’ve bin an akamiakwa or wateva its termed.I even had to deal with one dat came to spend d weekend in my husb”s house while we wer datin.Its nice hearin frm a guys perspective.

  9. YAYA

    January 28, 2011 at 12:30 pm

  10. BOO

    January 28, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    THE RATIO OF MEN TO WOMEN IS LIKE 1:5, SO I WOULD’T BLAME HER OF WANTING TO SUPERGLUE HERSELF TO HIM….

    • sequoyah

      January 28, 2011 at 4:17 pm

      Laughn hard @ SUPERGLUE!! I can relate to that.

  11. anthonia abu

    January 28, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    lol,interesting

  12. bcgeorge

    January 28, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    kaming babes, they just leave you high and dry. But really there’s nothing wrong having female friends who come around to play once in a while without any attachment as long as she gives me my space to DO the other babes on my TO DO LIST….
    2011; turning the platonic to the romantic…less female friends, more gurlfriends..dats d scheme dis year..Gbagaun!!!!

  13. Ready

    January 28, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Sometimes, Nigerians confuse me…and I say this as a very patriotic Naija babe. So, the girl dismisses him in the club, then she identifies him on campus and starts hanging out with him, then acts uninterested when they hang out. After which she starts harrassing his life…doesn’t she seem mentally disturbed or at the very least extremely juvenile? Why would a guy even want to “chyke” that type of girl…isn’t that asking for trouble?
    Maybe it’s just me sha.
    http://inspiredbymypeople.blogspot.com/

  14. africanchikito no.1

    January 28, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Not impressed.

  15. Abigail

    January 28, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Very funny indeed….

  16. sequoyah

    January 28, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Now this is creepy!blive it or not this story is scarily reminiscent of my experince: names and all!

    • Zinne

      January 28, 2011 at 4:19 pm

      it’s probably you then. kamin queen! LOL.

    • sequoyah

      January 28, 2011 at 6:38 pm

      No dumb dumb. Am the guy!!

    • Ready

      January 29, 2011 at 4:57 am

      Lol…how are we supposed to know when your name is Sequoyah?

  17. jazmyne

    January 28, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    chai!!!!…akamiakwa…i’m ashamed 2 admit i’ve been one,albeit unknowningly….will desist immediately

    • ms ken

      January 30, 2011 at 2:50 am

      i confess too!!lol.when i realised my kamin ways i wanted 2 just bury my head n leave facebook. i can jus imagine d guy n his friends callin me akaimaki n laffing..chai.
      the gud thg is we know n therefore can stop such behaviour..self-value ladies(according to temiloluwa a.)n might i add, self-respect is a virtue!

  18. NIRA

    January 28, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    Quite funny…KAMING! What a word.

  19. NNENNE

    January 28, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    It’s infuriating to hear this woman-man ratio.Should women loose self respect just because there’s not enough men? Don’t get me wrong.Love is a beautiful thing.That is the more reason why a woman should not loose her dignity, in search of one.It takes two to tango.There are millions of other things that can make people live a happy and fulfilled life.
    Those big headed men need certain kind of women to teach them life lessons.Seriously…

  20. MaryLJ

    January 28, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    All you criticizers your kaming days are coming o, when you find that guy you have to work extra hard to get. You know some guys like being chased lol

    • DIVA

      February 2, 2011 at 6:33 pm

      Mary LJ new Kamin Queen..watchout guys…LOL!!!

  21. MaryLJ

    January 28, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    sequoyah
    No dumb dumb. Am the guy!!

    Writer stated she got your permission, abi you don forget?

  22. Pizzazz

    January 28, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    lmao at all the comments, but I really think guys do more kaming than girls jwo! I know some guys that keep calling and visiting and they know that you are in a serious relationship o,what do you call those ones?

    • Timma

      January 28, 2011 at 11:30 pm

      Lets ask Almighty TeeJay, always attacking the ladies as if dem guys are saints, maybe we should call them “akamikawon”??? Anyway, sometimes we ladies no dey just try @ all, we act as if we are so desperate to have a guy.

    • zeze

      January 29, 2011 at 12:11 pm

      lol, like the name for guys. i’ve just added 2 new words to my vocabulary.

  23. gbekun

    January 28, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    wow, i guess guys and girls have a long way to go in understanding each other then.
    there have been times i have been disappointed by responses from so called guy-friends of mine just because i was trying to keep in touch (mind you, it was never any of those stalkerish things). imagine someone taking a whole week before returning your call? or worse still, not calling at all! now that is just being rude.
    come on guys, so if a girl doesn’t want to be your girlfriend she can’t be your friend or acquaintance? na wa o. i think some guys are just too full of themselves.

    • Cyber, Oko Alhaja

      October 12, 2011 at 1:28 pm

      Because women do not understand that a guy is binary i.e. sex or no sex. Until they do they would continue to get heart aches

  24. addicted

    January 29, 2011 at 12:10 am

    CORRECT!! This is the first time of hearing this term “kaming”..I have a first hand example but I always found it hard to understand…now I know the kaming spirit in her is strong!!

  25. moi

    January 29, 2011 at 1:34 am

    Is there anything wrong in wanting to be platonic friends with a guy. Reading the passage, I think that wat the girl want. She doesnt want to jump the guy, she just simply wants to be friends, which is why she didn’t get the picture. But since most men think with the organ between their legs, they can’t never get the point of it all. See we girls believe that guys make the best of best friends if you are not romantically involved, and so some of us are always hoping to have that privilege. Bt I guess, if it is a guy, it is called stalking and it is acceptable bt if it is the other sex, then it is akamiakwa, and it is wrong.
    Abeg go and check ur head

  26. Pinky

    January 29, 2011 at 2:33 am

    Lmao @ the comments… The comments are more interesting than the article…
    But seriously tho, there is some major substance to this article… Kaming babes are really scary… When a girl means a guy, only God can deliver him… My fiancé was a victim of a Kaming babe… Her’s was so bad that she threatened to comit suicide and her mother went on her knees to beg my boo to date her… When a girl has stalker tendencies, it’s really scary and my advice to any guy who spots those tendencies early enough is to run like his life depends on it, cos it may as well do…

  27. cdot

    January 29, 2011 at 2:42 am

    LOL!!!! too funny

  28. caramel_drops

    January 29, 2011 at 3:16 am

    nah..dn’t think I’ve kamed before, I mean dress up and start marching to a non-boyfriend’s crib uninvited? Weird, nope!

    Am even skeptical about such,cos those are the situations where babes get raped, I do lots of outdoor dates but that crib levels…no! Till we are officially an item.

  29. Triple X

    January 29, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    I have had a couple of Akamiakwa in my life….in school and now working as a radio presenter. Obviously I dont wanna snob anyone who walks up to me to say “Hi I love your show” but one particular lady who is a single mother with eyes at 10 past 2 is stalking sorry “kaming” me. She calls at odd hours and asks me how my day went even when she travels she calls to tell me how her trip went. She doesn’t get it from my tone that I don’t appreciate the calls but instead laughs and says “You ehn, so you can’t call someone…?” All I can say is “Help me someone!”

  30. dami O

    January 29, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    lol how did she get your number? and you should have told her in a nice way that you don’t appreciated odd hour calls and if she’s not getting the message then ignore her calls..

    Triple X
    I have had a couple of Akamiakwa in my life….in school and now working as a radio presenter. Obviously I dont wanna snob anyone who walks up to me to say “Hi I love your show” but one particular lady who is a single mother with eyes at 10 past 2 is stalking sorry “kaming” me. She calls at odd hours and asks me how my day went even when she travels she calls to tell me how her trip went. She doesn’t get it from my tone that I don’t appreciate the calls but instead laughs and says “You ehn, so you can’t call someone…?” All I can say is “Help me someone!”

  31. Amseriouslyinlove.

    January 29, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    LOL..I have so many girls/Ladies Kaming my Fiance and I’m really tired,One of them actually said to him that does he not want to be british? and where would he want to visit in the world and she would be responsible for that…I tire.

    She even accused him of bringing to church services,but now He has ran completly away form her..The highest of it is that she is the pastor’s daughter,hw about that?

    • Taiwo

      January 30, 2011 at 12:01 am

      LOLLLL!!!! woW!!!!

  32. Amseriouslyinlove.

    January 29, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    *bringing me*

  33. Taiwo

    January 30, 2011 at 12:00 am

    LOL!! this is funnny…..

  34. Nikki

    January 30, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    lmao…the power of kaming! thanks for d article..iv been wondering about this akamiakwa babes that just hang around aimlessly..kmt

  35. Faraqhan

    January 30, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    so what was the point of this article? the writer (if i am obliged to call him that) is just tattling. theres nothing enlightening about this article, its a relative topic and it was written badly. fin.

  36. 2Cents

    January 30, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    1:5…ROFL!!!!!

  37. Feelitx

    January 30, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    We don’t mind having platonic relationships. We just want our relationships to be defined from day one so that you don’t block our view.

  38. Funmie

    January 31, 2011 at 3:45 am

    lol…. nice write up…
    it has got me looking back, wondering if ive ever been d “kaming babe”… lol

  39. Hills

    January 31, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Guys stop leading girls on then term it “kaming” or whatever. T.J Speak to the hand!!!

  40. kify

    January 31, 2011 at 10:00 am

    This is really funny.

    The comments are far more interesting (no beef 2 d columnist am one too so much respect). Anyway I’ve had a lot of akamikawon in my days and getting bf to drive them away works all the time. By job default I have a work line for ppl to reach me but there are some guys who don’t just get it. The kaming spirit in them strong no b small L☺L, thanks BN I now have a term next time a. Guy tries to calm me.

  41. Karimah

    January 31, 2011 at 10:16 am

    then i must b a kaming babe o… tho unknowingly… cuz in d quest to make new friends…. i think a particular guy thinks am stalking him….

    but don’t u think it is 2 ways???? dis guy was d 1st 2 always buzz and wanna chat o and i would oblige him…. now i do same and i feel i have become a pest….. he invites me for a party or 2 go 2 d movies, i answer… when i do same i get a No for an answer…. am busy dis weekend and then start getting all d mono-syllabic answers… *smh*

  42. MissT.

    February 1, 2011 at 7:50 am

    lol!!! I laugh. I laugh. Although I must say that there are a lot of male “akamiakwa’s” out there too. So don’t go laughing at us cuz you’ve probably been one too you probably just didn’t realize it lol. In a nut shell, if it’s not a mutual feeling, the other party becomes an “akamiakwa” in the bid of going after one wants.

  43. kiki

    February 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Ok… a friend told me that this guy said he had a crush on me, all of a sudden I also realised i had a crush on him to. So I added him on facebook and followed him on twitter and he followed me back. We started retweeting each other’s tweets, then he asked me for my pin which I gave to him. Since I gave him my pin, I have been doing all the pingings and initiating the chats. Does this make me an akamiakwa??? if it does, then I really should stop trying to chat with him. Lol

  44. DIVA

    February 2, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    OMG…this is so enlightening cos presently there’s a babe kaming my boo!! claiming to be my friend…lol!!am gonna have to devise a plan to get rid of her….but babes we no try…a guys a hunter..even if he comes around a few times if he suddenly stops..u ma stop, he was probably in the valley of decision…when the right man comes along…he’ll chase you into a hole if he has to!!!

  45. Jatropha

    February 7, 2011 at 4:45 am

    Vice versa.Men could be more of akamiakwa’

  46. remmy

    February 7, 2011 at 10:57 am

    IT called obsession. This aint a funny thin gman. Think you should read crime stories on dateline msnbc then you will know such gals/men are dangerous. They most of the time end up trying to kill the man or his spouse that is if they dont succeed killing such person.
    My best advice is when u meet such gal u stay 1000 meters away from her. AIGHT?

  47. jennietobbie

    February 11, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    hahahahahhahahah. “My guy was shocked” beyond priceless! Phew!!! I’ve had a good laugh today.

  48. amychoo

    February 18, 2011 at 6:24 am

    o boy, u guys wont bulge, oyaa mk a move…mbanu, y u raise her hopes?? serves u ryt.

  49. BB

    February 24, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    well……… i hope i avnt been kaming this guy i just met. its all good i stop right away

  50. winnie

    March 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    ??????????????????? boring and lame story.give me somethin realistic n relevant!

  51. Happiest

    March 3, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    this article is really an eye opener. but abeg, wassup with guys these days not being straight forward?? i mean there’s this guy that initiated all d facebook msgs, chatting, texting and calling….saying he liked me and wanted to date me, right? tho we don’t live in d same city. but 2 my greatest confusion, wen i started showing interest in him, he started acting weird like, taking forever 2 reply texts or monosylabic responses. dont want 2 be an akamiakwa or wateva… so just deleted his numba ASAP afta reading dis.

    who needs d drama….

  52. [email protected]

    March 8, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    babes have to give themselves value it goes a long way. And as for the guys dont begin to feel tooooooooo important

  53. bellagurl

    March 9, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    So if a girl is a confessed akam-babe, how can she be cured?

  54. loneky

    March 10, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    llllloooooooossssssssssssssssssss, my o my, I love you bella naija readers. I enjoy this website, their readers are way too funny. Cant stop laughing at the comments. keep them coming people

  55. pheyee

    March 15, 2011 at 11:13 am

    Guys can be ‘kamin’ too.i remember a guy that used to hang around me, calling and visiting often.i had to ask him what he was up to cos i wanted the relationship to be a defined one.guess what happens,he starts giving me attitude.i had to just relate with him at arm’s lenght.in this case, he was the akamiakwa.
    my honest advise to the ladies,if a guy keeps coming around you,ask what he is up to so dat you dont build a relationship on assumption with the guy.

  56. vicci

    March 31, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    This article n the story there-in are a distortion from reality. We all know he stopped feeling clara after getting some dissatisfactory ” something something”

  57. Ella

    August 25, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    …funny

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