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BN Hot Topic: What’s Your Price Tag?

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Have you ever heard girls sing along to ‘Gold Digger’ by Kanye with the switched up lyrics – “I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger/ but I ain’t messing with no broke- broke-,”. Ahem, I’m sure you get the point.

In Nigeria nowadays, it seems people place a price tag on relationships before they enter them. Yes, even men too.

What got me thinking was a casual conversation with two of my very close friends a few weeks ago, Chioma* and Yemisi. Chioma’s BlackBerry was having problems so I asked her what she was going to do and she said she’ll tell her boyfriend, so he can get her one of the new ones. She went on to say (I don’t know who asked her o) that he’s bought her 4 or 5 BlackBerries since they’ve been dating for 3 years (might I add he even got her her first BlackBerry). Chioma now joked, “I’m his sugar baby.” Yemisi then spurted out, “Enh, well my boyfriend got me my iPhone 4.” At this point, what did Nkechi say? Omo, I was stunned speechless. Then we all laughed it off and started talking about something else. But to be honest I still kept thinking about it – that I must be missing a memo or something because the most expensive gift I’ve received was a bracelet, then things like pairs of shoes and perfume. And those were for special occasions like my birthday and Christmas. Even though a little pain nudged me in my heart (ahem, you can call it jealousy – I don’t mind) I kept quiet about the whole incident until I was reminded of it a few days later.

A contributor came in to the office and for some reason the subject of relationships came up. She said her mother recently found a stack of bank slips in her younger brother’s drawer, all addressed to his girlfriend. She said her brother laughed and defended himself by asking if they had heard of the 10% rule. According to him, every guy should spend at least 10% on his monthly salary on his girlfriend, so he was just doing his part. Suddenly, it all made sense. From the friend whose boyfriend gives her money before she goes to the club, to the friend whose boyfriend’s mother deposits a monthly allowance in her bank account, I guess I’ve really been missing a memo. For me, relationships have always been about supporting each other emotionally, but never financially. When I fall for someone, I never think of how he can enhance my bank account, but my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not calling my friends gold diggers, but as I said, they “ain’t messing with no broke- broke-”, and maybe it’s time I took a page from their books? Let me share something with you…

I once bought pizza for myself and a boy friend. The pizza was a little bit burnt and I left the burnt crust in the box. Next thing he started giving me a lecture on why I should eat the burnt part of the pizza, because his parents trained him never to waste food. Shuo, you would think he bought the pizza for me, abi for us. Or the time I wanted to buy a donut for myself and he said I should control my diet- that he can’t marry a woman who cant control herself. Mind you, I wanted to pay for my donut and I have never been bigger than a US size 8. And who talked about marriage with him sef? Mschew. Let’s just say this was the beginning of the end of the relationship. I should have paid closer attention to him when he said his mum is the sole breadwinner of the family. Turns out I was with a guy who was obviously used to watching his dad wearing the pants, whether the pockets in those pants were empty or full.

It’s bad enough that when some guys’ pockets are full, they use it to control their partners. I’ve heard of men who pay for girls so they can ‘come and collect’ their own payment in another form when they need it. From the pretty girl who calls that guy to send his driver to pick her because her car broke down, to the former beauty queen whose family now depends on her for Junior’s school fees to Papa’s medical check-up yet her reign ended years ago and she has no form of visible income. There is a clear barter system going on here that I was too blind to see when I was younger. “Love is patient, love is kind” … no be all o, Love must come with flat in Lekki too.

Gone are the days when men were fasting and praying against gold diggers. Men nowadays even pray for women to prey on them, enticing women with their wallets. I hear men joke about it, and even sing about it too! Does this sound familiar – “to ba farabale chop my money/… touch my body” or the new P-Square song titled ‘Chop My Money’ where they sing, “She must chop my money/ ‘Cos I don’t care/ I’ve got plenty dollars in my name/ plenty Naira in my name.” Lol. You gotta love P-Square. If they’re not complaining, why should I right?

Because men are not innocent in this either o. Many men aim for women with rich fathers because they know there will be some contract, land or flat in it for them. The worst is if you’re a politician’s daughter and your father is in power. Have you noticed how many politicians’ 21 – 25 year old daughters marry during their time in office? Hmm. Don’t say I didn’t warn you sha.

After all these thoughts were nagging me for weeks I knew I had to put pen to paper, or rather, fingers to keyboard. Is it ok to be a helpless romantic in today’s day and age, or must we all – men and women included – shine our collective eyes? It’s gonna take me a while to figure this out for myself but I gotta ask, when looking for a relationship, what’s your price tag and does the 10% rule apply?

Photo Credit: hellobeautiful.com

*Names changed to protect privacy.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nkechi Eze is an Editorial Assistant at BellaNaija.com. You can visit Nkechi Eze’s photography website at inksimages.com

Ink Eze is the Founder of AsoEbiBella.com, a platform for sharing African traditional styles. She Modern Culture and Media at the Ivy League Brown University. She honed her skills in advertising and digital media at one of America’s leading tech companies in marketing. She became BellaNaija Weddings editor in 2013, and Assistant Editor of BellaNaija, heading the lifestyle section - Style, Beauty and Living until January 2017. Under her leadership, BN Weddings gained international prominence and became Africa’s foremost wedding media brand with millions of followers across several platforms and coverage on BuzzFeed, BBC & more. #AsoEbiBella became BellaNaija.com’s top feature, with over 1.8 million followers on Instagram. She conceived of BBN Wonderland, Nigeria’s top bridal event since 2015 with Baileys Nigeria. Now she spends her time on AsoEbiBella, and has executed marketing campaigns with local and international brands including HP Nigeria, Orijin and Sunlight Detergent. and sharing her insights with the world. For more Ink, join her on @Ink.Eze | @AsoEbiBella

141 Comments

  1. pink

    November 4, 2011 at 9:04 am

    Well said!

  2. hauwa b.

    November 4, 2011 at 9:09 am

    i’m like you, i dont think relationships should be about the money but… in ths day and age its all you see.
    u have girls renting apartments, carrying the latest smartphones/thinkpads and you know she doesnt have a job and her parents home is probably smaller than her new living room.
    Like you also, i feel kinda jealous cos who doesnt want to be catered for but in the long run, i value my independence and self worth much more than that.
    Here’s to being your own woman.

    • #1

      November 4, 2011 at 3:00 pm

      #straightup……….lv ur comment girl

    • Cyber, Oko Alhaja

      November 10, 2011 at 3:42 pm

      My sister do not envy them – they work hard for it. Freetown is the only place on earth that you get free lunch.

    • ify

      November 30, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      Pls tell me where in Freetown and I will locate the place without further directions.lol!!!

  3. enkay

    November 4, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Its bad enuf dat women hve price tags bt even worse wen a man thinks money doesn’t hve a plcae in a relationship

    • x0x0

      November 4, 2011 at 8:04 pm

      Truth!

  4. Mo

    November 4, 2011 at 9:19 am

    U’re so right!!! I once dated a guy who asked me what jobs my parents did, d kind of cars we had, how much my salary was, he bragged to his entire family that i live in lekki 1 wiv my folks and they couldn’t stop asking me….Lekki right? It was hilarious!!!

    D final straw was when the guy kept asking if i’d heard of a supposedly popular name in Nig (unfortunately i hadn’t) when i asked who they were he bragged that it was his ex’s family!! I just dropped d guy like hot coals…. lmao

  5. Portia

    November 4, 2011 at 9:26 am

    I can totally relate to dis. I av gt frnds dt av boyfrnds dt r in d UK,governor’s sons,pilots etc. Av seen extravagant gifts flaunted. I pay ma bills maself n evn used to help ma ex once in a whyle.I also gt stuffs ocassionally too bt it wasn’t d same tin. I used to feel sad abt dis bt I gt over it cos for me it aint abt d moni. Most of dese relationshps dnt last tho.
    For me, love comes first tho I wudnt mind sumtin once in a whyle. ‘Winkin’.

  6. Raychelle

    November 4, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Very nicely written..I think if a guy loves u,he would def want to give u stuff,giving is an expression of true love. But then again,dats not to say that he must give u evrything u own or be d only one doing all the giving!

  7. sassycassie

    November 4, 2011 at 9:45 am

    ‘Because men are not innocent in this either o. Many men aim for women with rich fathers because they know there will be some contract, land or flat in it for them’

    it’s funny you brought this up, cos it’s so true. i’ve heard a coupla naija guys say they wont marry a woman who doesnt come from a rich family :0 and you thought golddiggin was a striclty feminine trait!

  8. Africhic

    November 4, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm

    I was discussing the same thing with a friend some days ago when she announced that someone bought a friend of hers a Range Rover and i wondered, was there something wrong with me as no one has ever given me more than the obligatory bottle of perfume.

    I don’t want to ask for anyone’s money, but it wont hurt to be offered.

    • Aibee

      November 4, 2011 at 1:54 pm

      I’ve been asking myself the same thing oh. It got to a stage I had to ask my boyfriend ‘when are you going to buy me a gift’, lol! I’ve never had the luck of dating men who’ll buy me phones, cars or even rent me a crib. Max I’ve gotten na perfume, airtime and the most wonderful non-designer shoes I own till date! My boyfriend and I take turns at paying for our dates, movies, food etc. Sometimes i feel like we spent more when it was my turn than when he paid for the outing, lol! Things we do for love ehn?! My love don’t cost a thing. That said, it’d be nice to get gifts too!

    • Dee

      November 15, 2011 at 6:50 pm

      love dont cost a thing fire…babes u need to let d guy know ur no fool…his prolly boning some random chic and spoilg her wt gifts,.ur der taking turns,,,..STORY STORY

    • Cyber, Oko Alhaja

      November 10, 2011 at 3:46 pm

      So you think the girl who got Range Rover got it because of her excellent diction or her grasp of the intricases of the Eurobond Market. I beg lef matter. Nothing goes for nothing, or you have been moving with broke ass guys

    • Ashani

      December 28, 2011 at 7:22 pm

      .lol..yes o

  9. uzor

    November 4, 2011 at 9:47 am

    true write up… but truth be told, am one of those girls that don’t find it comfortable asking her man for financial favour, i just don’t find it easy.. but whenever he offers to help, i oblige and receive it with open arms

  10. kidi

    November 4, 2011 at 10:00 am

    true talk

  11. Chynadollng

    November 4, 2011 at 10:02 am

    #sigh…
    money money money….what money will cause ehn #phew

  12. LYNN

    November 4, 2011 at 10:05 am

    In Ghana we call broke guys “d3d3bid3bi ebeyeyie”…when u date & support a broke guy then finally he mks it and dumps u, how will u feel?its better 2 date a rich guy who will give u everything than wast ur time on Kofi broke man

    • MsLuffa

      November 4, 2011 at 11:10 am

      on the flip side, you could date a wealthy man and he’d still drop you for a better looking or younger model. I strongly suggest that any relationship based on money should come with an insurance plan.

    • adelegirl

      November 4, 2011 at 1:39 pm

      The flip side is definitely better than dating a poor broke ass guy whom you help and struggle with, only for him to drop you once he starts earning small change. At least with the rich guy, before he drops you, you would have benefited from his largess.

      This is not to say I condone gold digging from either sex but I refuse to judge or be sanctimonious about ladies who date for money. I have dated broke ass guys for love but it got me no where and left me out of pocket sef. So, I reckon I have paid my dues. No more looking at the proverbial gift horse in the mouth abeg! If he’s giving, I am receiving!

    • jonz

      November 5, 2011 at 3:48 pm

      Flip side abi somersault, at the end of the day you both get dropped. Shikena! haha

    • Chic

      November 9, 2011 at 8:19 am

      LOL….nicely said….wen money is involved, u nid insurance

  13. Dre

    November 4, 2011 at 10:26 am

    I think anyone is allowed to give..a relationship is a two way thing..I don’t see any reason why a woman with probably a better educational background than a man should be relyin on him unnecessarily and no man that gives a woman all that can respect her believe me he just wants to “nack” and nack them akpako lol then dump them..but an independent woman that is a boss in her own way will defintely be respected..ladies be wise

  14. ufedo

    November 4, 2011 at 10:38 am

    lol. The write up is true tho, guys and girls love diggin for gold. The rest of us wouldnt mind that gold handed to us on a platter of gold too. lol may God provide.

  15. HoneyDame

    November 4, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Have you heard “love na money o”?…….

  16. Lady Jaye

    November 4, 2011 at 10:59 am

    whatever arrangements work for people, unless absolutely horrendous/abusive/one-sided, is their business, not yours. I know what I won’t do in a relationship, and i have to assume your friends and their boyfriends know too. Not your business and doesn’t call for your judgment.

    As for the money for sex issue (I presume it is tacit – ie the girls are not forced to sleep with their boyfriends, no?)

  17. Temzy

    November 4, 2011 at 11:03 am

    Personally, I cant date a girl that comes into a relationship with a mindset of “he shall get me anything I want” No man.I dont come with that mindset why should you.That doesnt mean I will not buy you whatever you want though.I cant stand people who worship maerial things.

  18. Odior

    November 4, 2011 at 11:06 am

    my dear i feel you jor

  19. MsLuffa

    November 4, 2011 at 11:08 am

    In as much as people definitely go for rich partners, i have to say this article seemed to have a hint of bitterness and a dollop of jealousy on it. What’s the beef if women want to be with wealthy people. At the end of the day, Money is important in a relationship, but it’s not the most important thing.
    I think it’s quite sweet and respectable that your (ex)boyfriend was thoughful and generous enough to buy you gifts on your birthday, xmas etc, that’s plenty. Surely there was more to that relationship that the money in his pocket- it’s not like he was sponging off you for rent and petrol funds… Women need to learn to be grateful and appreciative.
    If I was with someone who was treated me like a cash machine, i’d be very wary of them and wouldn’t trust them as far as I could throw them.

    • menoword

      November 4, 2011 at 3:14 pm

      I don’t think there was any jealousy MsLuffa. I think there was a little bit of tongue in cheek “what about me” but it felt like it was more about a gradually increasing but seemingly unspoken expectation that the majority of a woman’s possessions must be bought by her significant other. It has nothing to do with the wealth of the partner, or whether or not the women enjoy receiving gifts – everyone does. She’s just saying that perhaps in expecting men to cater so exclusively to their needs, many women have lost the aspect of gift giving that is about expressing love, and have instead turned it into something almost commercial.

  20. Kay

    November 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Great article!Everything you said bothers me all the time….our generation needs help!

  21. dami o

    November 4, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    instead of i aint messing with broke-broke it should be ” i aint messing with broke ass lol ..

    on a serious note have never for once depend on my exes funny enough it me who does all the giving blame it on my caring nature but i agree with uzor it wouldn’t hurt if you can be lavish on once in a while. But then again even with the little we get its the thought that counts .

  22. blah

    November 4, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    Life is too short to blend in – Paris Hilton. On a normal day, I wouldn’t be quoting Paris but she really does have a point. The price tag thing is the reason why divorce is on the increase these days. I believe that even if other people are marrying for money, you stay in your little corner and pray to God for a spouse and shine your eye when diff guys come to apply. People fail 2 understand that money isn’t everything. vanity upon vanity.. Wouldn’t you rather grow with you guy/girl and possibly become a power couple than marry for money and then the money disappears after the first 5 years of marriage. After that, what do you have left?

  23. ugowoundo

    November 4, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    i see all the these points…and i laugh because i do everything for my girl but she blatantly told me we are compatible in many ways but spiritually we do not connect and she wants to be hot for God(like i hate God…or we dey quarrel)…..and she still ended the affair because of this…..bottom line here is we live in a SELFISH WORLD TODAY where resources are scarce and everyone is grabbing what they can

  24. Adeola

    November 4, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    WOW! I must say that sadly, relationships are turning into a financial thing rather than an emotional thing. I’ve been with my bf for almost 2 years and I can proudly say that our relationship isnt based on the financial, we still believe in that old school, head over hills, head in the sky, wreckless type of love. As a matter of fact, with the way we argue ehn, It is the love we share and the love of God that has kept us. I am grateful that we have never fought over money or any of the sort. Now don’t get me wrong, I am extremely proud, so if I am extremely broke, I wont say anything, he finds out in some way that is still unreal to me. I dont go ahead and say oh, i want this or i will break up with you or something stupid. Yes call me cinderalla living in a fairy tale world, this is my life and this is exactly how i like to live it. I have very close friends who would not date any NIGGA that doesnt have money. It is completely disgusting the way they talk a times but what can I do, I am not living their lives for them. Anyway, my point is relationships have lost that good ol’ touch of love and friendship that now if babes dont see $$ signs, they aint “finna” hit the dude up!

  25. Go Speed Dater!

    November 4, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    What about girls who refuse to go on dates with you unless it is to the Galleria to watch movies or some swanky restaurant when they can stuff their faces. What is it with some Nigerian girls and refusing to do something different? A few girls seem to think that a date must equal food and film? What happened to peeping the aesthetic,or hanging at the beach. Heck, can’t we go to the National Museum at Onikan, so that I could show you Igbo Ukwu Bronze pots, Nok terraculture plus the limousine Murtala was slain in? Or why don’t we head to the National Theatre at Iganmu, and catch an Ola Rotimi play? Nah, she would rather watch a Jon Favreau romantic comedy at Silverbird, but not before we visit the sharwama and popcorn stands.
    A friend of mine recently met this girl he really fancied. He decided to take her on a date, and wanted to do something different. They both lived in Abuja, so he had a good idea. Or so he thought

    He showed up at the girls house, and picked her up. The girl got into the car, looked at the backseat and screamed “What are you doing with a bed sheet?”

    The back seats had a basket filled with a loaf of premium sliced butter bread, butter, crackers, cheese, bubbly, baked beans, sausage, ham, some juice, a small deck and a cloth.

    He replied “Nah, it is a table-cloth. I wanted us to go to a park for a picnic.”

    She opened her eyes in disbelief “Pick pin? No oh! I can’t go to any park, the sun would make my skin dark. Take me to Ceddi Plaza or somewhere to eat or drop me off.”

    He dropped her off. Like a bad habit.

    http://woahnigeria.wordpress.com/2011/10/10/the-pounded-yam-and-pure-water-awards-10/

    • Truth be told

      November 4, 2011 at 8:14 pm

      lol.nice one

    • Yt 'Boss'

      November 4, 2011 at 8:40 pm

      Hahahahahahaha. Too funny!

    • Marchesa

      November 5, 2011 at 11:48 pm

      Boisterious laughter @ Igbo Ukwu bronze pots!!!

      A lot of our artefacts are actually sitting in foreign museums like the Louvre and the British Museum.

      A “date” to view them, will cost 2 return tickets and travel expenses.

      Probably best to stick with the cinema date.

      He!He! Still laughing!

    • Go Speed Dater!

      November 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

      ur wrong. We have a lot of Nigerian artefacts at our local National Museum in Onikan. Be informed.

    • clairebaby

      November 6, 2011 at 11:34 pm

      igbo ukwu bronze pot!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!! nice one bro…..

    • Temi

      November 7, 2011 at 10:47 am

      LOL!!!

    • Onyx

      November 7, 2011 at 3:20 pm

      Chei, see life.

      And I’ll bet good money that there’s been an ordinary-looking chick under that brotha’s nose all the time who’s funny, sweet and would have been totally appreciative of a picnic in the park. You get what you shop for, dear gents. Let’s stop pretending it’s just the money-grabbing women who’re the issue here.

    • molarah

      November 23, 2011 at 12:22 am

      Help me tell them, my sister. IMO, most guys actually derive some weirdly sad pleasure in being used by girls who are only out for their money.

    • Nike

      November 30, 2011 at 3:50 pm

      God bless you my dear!!!! These guys never hear. They will go after the gold-digging chicks and then complain that they are gold diggers. If you put your hand in fire and it burns, whose fault is it???? OTONDO!!!

    • MsKim

      November 9, 2011 at 2:51 pm

      I agree, but the problem is the crowd mentality plague’ vry few pple are original and dare to be themselves….
      ps.
      Igbo ukwu? Nok …terracotta?… I wld totally go on a date wth u! lol

  26. Hills

    November 4, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    I read this somewhere, “its much better to cry in a BMW than a volkswagen beatle”.

  27. Truth Teller

    November 4, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    @Go Speed Dater ROTFLMAO!!!! really funny!
    well in my case i’m used to doing EVERYTHING myself as a female. I’ve never had the opportunity of having any BF buy me really expensive gifts, or even gifts at all.I travel all by myself, pay my bills, blah blah blah…I believe guys take advantage of independent ladies like in my case. Thankfully, i’m in a new relationship with a very sacrificial and selfless loving person, and that’s more important to me than any amount of money, besides, I can’t depend on any man to make me happy financially, what happens if we break-up or if he dies??ladies, wake up and stop Gold digging.

    • LindsayLohan

      November 5, 2011 at 8:35 am

      How do you know he’s sacrificial if he doesn’t buy you stuff? Money makes the love go round you know…

  28. tgal

    November 4, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    All of u have spoken well but my take on this subject is, whatever toasts your bread mehn! If u’re a romantic @ heart, carry on and if u’re the type that can’t but find yourself a loaded guy or babe,pls go ahead. Whatever choice you make, don’t forgo your happiness!

    • LIZZIE

      November 4, 2011 at 8:01 pm

      “Whatever toasts your Bread?” aight, nice one…lol

  29. sweetie

    November 4, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    LMAO @ Go speed Dater…its been a while i have heard /seen igbo ukwu bronze pot……ok now back to the post, I totally see your point Nkechi, i am a very independent kind of girl, i buy my own things and i tend to give gifts a lot!! But you know, i was thinking some days back about my friends who use their beauty to get what they want, i am going to start their approach because it seems these days most guys cherish the gold diggers, i am tired of being the good girl!

    • Inem

      November 4, 2011 at 7:20 pm

      lol, sweetie….I think I am in your kind of shoes.

  30. chi chi

    November 4, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    different strokes for different folks. don’t judge o, cos no single rule applies to every relationship. @hills LWKMD

  31. Della

    November 4, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    @ MO: hahahahahahahahahahahaha @ ex-family! that has to be the funniest thing i’ve heard this year

  32. Inem

    November 4, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    I believe relationships have more to do with emotions, but it has turned to a money-making venture for some people.
    A guy I just met asked me to take him for a date at one of the biggest fastfood restaurant in town, afterwards take him to the galleris before dropping him at his house. (I was shocked!) I asked him why I should be the one taking him out, he said ‘Nowadays, girls have so much cash’.
    I have really had problems with being in a relationship ‘cuz 90% of the guys I meet, come for the cash.
    I broke up with my first bf ‘cuz he was always asking for cash, most times he’d go around bragging to his friends how rich his gf was. On his bday, I bought him an expensive watch, before saying ‘thank you’ he said, ‘I was expecting more than this, this is too small a gift esp from u’ . The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he took money from my purse without permission, when I asked him, he said, ‘why worry about it, ur dad has got more than that’ Imagine!
    The second to the last, two days after psyching me, asked me to help him carry some items in my car to his house and then drive him to the airport in my car, and pick him up when he returns from his trip.
    The last one, asked me out for almost a year, finally I agreed….he wasn’t really ‘loving’ me at first, but when he got to see our house, my car etc, he started asking me when I’d marry him.
    Talking about gifts, the most expensive gift I have gotten from a guy is a book (just some novel), they’ll always say, ‘I didn’t know what to get you, I know you already have a lot’…I believe, gift is a gift!
    This ‘financial part’ of a relationship has made me wanna decide I never wanna date anymore.

    • sweetie

      November 4, 2011 at 6:57 pm

      Chineke!!!! and i thought mine was bad. Inem please what sort of guys have you been dating???!!? Girl, you have been through a lot, abeg turn the lord and pray for foolish guys not to approach you, your man is out there , dont give up on dating

    • LIZZIE

      November 4, 2011 at 8:05 pm

      “Whatever toasts your Bread?” aight, nice one…lolDon’t mind those crappy boys… you’ll meet someone better by God’s grace.

    • LindsayLohan

      November 5, 2011 at 8:47 am

      I’m just curious, what happened to men with the same size of wallet as you? Seems to me like you need to come across a different way than you do now.
      The fact that you even said he ‘wasnt loving you at first’… Then why were you with him? My sister abeg, pray, work on yourself and God will bring someone for you that will provide… Hopefully in your (money) class…

    • Inem

      November 5, 2011 at 10:56 am

      I have dated some guys who’ve gat lots of cash….but they kinda end up thinking m trynna ‘compete’ with them, then I may just find out later, that I’m not the only girlfriend they’ve gat. What I actually meant by the ‘loving’ was that he was caring and nice at first though…but later, the ‘love’ just turned hotter, he started calling me thrice a day, more than 3-5 txt msgs in a day, sending airtime even when I didn’t need it, asking about how much my dad earns…etc

    • Onyx

      November 7, 2011 at 3:32 pm

      Girl, dayummmm. The only gift you’ve gotten is a book?? That’s cold. And the boyfriend who dissed the watch should have had it crammed down his throat.

      It doesn’t even take that much to give someone a nice gift – it could be a day he pampers you (i.e. decides you shouldnt have any stress that day so he’ll run your errands, make a nice meal, rent your favourite movie to watch together, let you have some “me time” to relax and de-stress), a box of chocolates every so often, a nice pair of earrings because he knows they’ll suit you. What the heck is wrong with some men?? Don’t give up completely though, keep praying. God knows you’re overdue for a fantastic relationship (and husband).

    • Cyber, Oko Alhaja

      November 10, 2011 at 4:01 pm

      Pray, God will give you a wonderful guy like me – though one who would have only one wife!

    • aBEg

      November 25, 2011 at 5:08 pm

      My sister God will grant the desires of you heart, just watch and pray. tell God the kind of man you want and tell him you are tired of all the men who come your way just because of your status

  33. Yombini

    November 4, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    O ma se o…so you now wonder why the divorce rates are high ,and countless relationships dont end in commitment ..once the considerations are based on variables money,houses clothes ,blackberry(mscheeew),…then you are easy to dispense with and nothing is binding though i admit the true virtues(love,fear of God ,tolerance,honesty,truthfulnes,respect etc) required are fast disappearing but that doesnt mean you and what comes with it should go commercial ….!

  34. tatafo

    November 4, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    awww nkechi, e go better. I think sometimes we set ourselves up for failure. There is nothing wrong with you insisting on how you want to be treated. You don’t have to be mean about it or demand expensive gifts but do vocalize your expectations in a polite or playful way – you’re the only one that knows the best way to communicate with your bf.

    Closed mouths don’t get fed and people will always treat you in the manner you allow them to.

  35. Pearl

    November 4, 2011 at 6:57 pm

    There’s nothing worse than being in a tight spot and the supposed person ‘shining your congo’ is not capable of lifting you out. A relationship to me is a partnership. Its not for A to extort from B and for B to ride over A. If my bf can pay for stuff on my behalf to show he’s man enough to handle his biznes then I embrace it with all my heart. If your relationship is based on truth, that same guy that handled his biznes will run broke once in a while and open the gateway for you to play the good partner to bail him out. Love is not blind, it has eyes and i see clearly. Helpless romantic????? plz never fall victim to that; it’ll sell you short.
    Lets think about this….women want romantic relationships yea??? listen up! them roses cost money and thought, so wake up and smell the coffee, thats just d tiniest example. No matter how little the price of the roses might seem, it is still an act of dipping hand into pocket just to put a smile on sum1’s face, bearing in mind in 2weeks or less, those babies will have their heads bent over in the bin. If you’re dating a guy that does not once in a while support you financially and you do the same. Will your relationship really last? cos it means you havent past the flaunting stage, you’re not sharing your problems with your supposed loved 1. cos bliv me, no matter how rich any person is, there are time the pockets run out dry. thats not to say that by the next day or week it wouldnt top up. but during those times is your beloved stepping up to the rescue plate? everybody needs sum1 to count on, to show sum care, to show sum luv, to show some gratitude. If you are going to marry sum1 u av to learn the act of partnership in your relationship, because it is what you will do to sustain your marriage. A lot of marriages break because of selfishness, whether emotional or financial. life is give and take. (u give to recieve, you recieve to give and on goes the cycle) If you are not selfish, you would not mind recieving because it opens the gate way for you to give in return.
    my 2 pence. am not saying am a golddigger…but am not messing with no broke broke….cos i aint broke. shikena!!!!

    • duchesss

      November 30, 2011 at 12:22 am

      [email protected] i can swear this is my cousin speaking too much grammer. pls if u ve d money spend it.. some men ve got d cash nd yet selfish in spending but would expect their women to be selfless in opening their legs…yes money is not everything but then money would make the both of you happy… some men dont give else u demand so i think its good to know ur type of man and his correct pin code to always unlock him…

  36. Miss Maragret

    November 4, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    The thing called money…its as light as the wind and as heavy as the mountain. Money has no loyalty; its very fickle. When you have it, it’ll let you spend him. When you don’t he’s on his way to find another spender. Money…the culprit. Yea, that should be his name :/

  37. Gbeborun

    November 4, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    Its not just the youths of today, some parents even, me for instance I think the only reason my mother-in-law allowed me to marry her son is cos my family background…..some stunts she pullat times and I think this woman is crazy, all are children are married into rich families,including the guys………SMH

  38. Ex-Blogger

    November 4, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Abegi!!! Being independent is over rated joh! And for all you folks up here singing some “”ying-yang” about being “respected” by your spouse for being self sufficient…whatever makes you think these chicks getting money aren’t respected by thier patner?? My brother is a sucessful Neurosurgeon and he is married to a first class gold digger yet he adores the ground she walks on, So tell another story….now i could be the evil sister-in-law and throw her some major shade, but of what use will that be? The way is see it, she played her cards right and got lucky. I ain’t knocking her hustle, hell, if it was me, i’ll probably do worse.
    Another case is a a good girlfriend of mine, we graduated from college together, while i was kicking it with my blockhead college sweetheart, she was all about scouting for athletes with potential…..(Not your regular jocks, the ones even dumbest of the dumb knew they where NBA OF NFL bound) Today she lives in a huge mansion in Jersey, homegirl is paid and a certified basketball wife! Not those jump-offs Shaunie be rolling with..lol! Moral of the story; GOLD DIGGERS ARE WINNING!!!!
    Now don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying be totally dependent on a guy for everything, no man wants a chick with zero dollars to her name, no career or ambition….you stick with your grind till you say “i do” then you can retire, be a stay at home mom and take exotic vacations for the rest of your life..lol.

    And for all the chicks going on and on about never meeting dudes that splurge on them, my question is; what circles do you roll in? where do you meet these men? Money recognizes money, if you are cheap, then you attract exactly what you are….lol! Besides, If you are kicking it with a paid, polished guy, you shouldn’t need to ask.
    I have seen coutless cases of men starting from scratch with thier wives and trading her in for a new model once he becomes sucessful. At least on this side of the ocean, you have the opportunity of getting half, in Gidi, no hope for you o! I refuse to be any one’s fool. I’ll rather have my heart broken by a rich man and nurse my aching heart in a Rolls Royce than someones’ beat up Maxima!

    • Toriola

      November 5, 2011 at 4:23 am

      200 gbosas for you my dear. you see ehn, if i were to do it all over, omo i will trash all these degrees and high rank…then marry rich alhaji right out from Uni. abeg it aint that serious jare. all this hustle yet my friends who have a man sponsoring them are looking younger and fresher. suffer head no be pepper soup. i m ready to be spoiled by a rich man. i look at caronline danjuma and im like this chica got the best bargain o.

    • A.k

      November 5, 2011 at 6:22 am

      “Money recognizes money, if you are cheap, then you attract exactly what you are….lol!”

      funny, but true. My friend always says “you have to dress the way you want to be addressed”

    • Texas

      November 7, 2011 at 7:36 am

      Your friend is 100% correct!

    • natrusef

      November 5, 2011 at 9:52 am

      GBAM!!!!!….my dear i rather blow my running nose inside a rolls royce than a honda….no joke jare…and true talk on the attractions of money…no need to spend all the moolah on ur body..as females look the best and dress to kill…..in other words …hold ur side pieces-ly…and u will attract the right man….u look average and u know say u no fine …u kon dey wear average clothing….schewpes na who u wan com attract

  39. flychick

    November 4, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    LMAO @ Pearl’s comment! Sista, you hit the nail on the head.
    Life is give and take. Anybody who dosen’t give you is definitely taking something from you. It’s your choice if you decide to remain on the ‘giving only’ end of the stick. Aint nobody gonna give you a medal for that. Neither do you have my sympathy.
    The place of the man has always been at the ‘Head’ and that means he takes headship in everything, including giving. So if i buy him a gift worth N10,000, then I expect to receive a gift worth N20,000 in the future (that is if he can afford it. and if he cant, i expect him to do the little he can with extra care and effort). If he continually give me less of what i give him then im breaking up with him. Standard! Something is definitely wrong there. either he’s cheap or selfish both of which are ‘no nos’.
    If you have ever been in a relationship that just sucked you dry on all fronts (and I have) then you would never see anything wrong with getting any amount of gifts from a beloved boyfriend. Any good man will experience joy at being able to provide for his babe, and not for the percieved benefits. its just the way God has made men. it makes them feel good. and trust me, if he isnt spending that cash on you, hes definitely spending it on someone else. so you are just cheating yourself.
    If couples are still at the stage where they do not have free entry and exit into eachothers accounts, then they have not started because money is one of the biggest aspects of a marriage. It is also a huge expression of trust. You’d be suprised at how many married couples don’t talk about each other’s money. How sad is that?
    when i first started dating my fiance, i used to be soo self conscious about receiving things from him (partly because i was brought up not to accept things from men and also partly because i had suffered a very selfish relationship before him. so i didnt know how to receive). But he has taught me how to receive, ask and even make my demads. Its my right as his woman. and the more he gives me the more i trust him and open up my heart to him. Now we can do anything for eachother. Even the Bible says in Proverbs that, ‘a man’s gift makes way for him’!
    Mind you my argument has nothing to do with dating a rich guy. All I have emphasized is the rightness of receiving withput inhibition as well as giving in a relationship. Now here’s the tricky part; if you are lucky enough to find yourself with a rich partner, please relax and enjoy all he can give you without any feeling of guilt (no be person go marry am in the end? why not you? he’s better off with you than with some silly, ugly, aristocratic girl).
    And if your man aint too loaded but you made the choice to be with him, then pleeeeaaase relax and let him take care of you to the fullest of his capacity. If he’s dulling, tell him what you want and he should go get it. but of course dont drive him to kill or steal. but dont let him use his finance or lack of it as an excuse for treating you less than a queen!
    The thing is that men dont like women who form ‘independence’ even when everyone knows they are really big girls. They love damsels in distress cos they’ve got the ‘hero’ syndrome in them! Independent women must be careful not to come off as being too big to be helped. The guy may stick with you but hes not really ‘with’ you. so please, if you’ve got the dough, dont flaunt it to him (except of course if you have nothing else to flaunt). those kind of ladies are the people that gave rise to the gold digging men….which is a story for another day.
    Peace.

  40. Jade

    November 4, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Well i want to be independent and pampered, is there something wrong with that?

  41. Yt 'Boss'

    November 4, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    lmao @ “Love is patient, love is kind” … no be all o, Love must come with flat in Lekki too.

  42. dela

    November 4, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    Wow Love and Money Palaver

  43. Proudly_Naija

    November 4, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    You can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving. C’est fini ; )

  44. deedee

    November 4, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    Lmao I just LoVE this website!
    @ex-blogger I can’t stop laughing!
    All the comments are hilarious

  45. blah

    November 5, 2011 at 2:45 am

    Good grief Go speedater. I bet the girl had a hunch that the picnic will be a disaster “butter bread, butter, crackers, cheese, bubbly, BAKED BEANS, sausage, ham”….carbs are so 2000. And wats wit all the processed food…Whatever happened to fresh fruit, suya, akara…….abeg abeg abeg

  46. Yay am so happy, more wives for me den

    November 5, 2011 at 3:21 am

    yay am so happy!
    Rich guys/men go start having 7-10 wives as babes want only rich men/guys
    Biblical prophecy coming to fulfillment

    Babes FYI, I get money boku and already got 25 wives
    anymore applicant/application?

    Implication
    1. Babes do everything possible to snatch rich husbands (Shebi dey like matured men b4 as dey can spend for em)
    2.Increase in rate of single ladies as majority want rich men( How old is dis my frend o? oh shes just 28/29 wtht a bf not cos suitors dont come o buh cos ready made men never come her way- abeg stil wait small jare til you are 55yrs)
    3. No wife for poor men/ guys (no gurl wants a broke ass nigga)
    3. Poor guys/men gang up to rape gurls and kill rich men (wetin u expect b4 from oppressed people-karl marx don talk am say revolution go begin from the oppressed/proletariat)
    4. Poor men take over the riches of the rich and start marrying babes (d babes stil marry the poor in disguise-hahaha) REVOLUTION!!!!!
    5. As no rich guy.man dey boku, wetin babes go come do now? ehn na to dey marry demselves na- (Rich babe marry rich babe-how u take see am na?)

    jokes apart, I weep for my own generation jo
    Whats the definition of a broke ass? If a man has a job, collects a regular salary (you do too) and is responsible, who told you your marriage wont work? What do we call partnership/companionship?

    The devil has successfully gotten into the minds of people with his lies-what if he gets money and dumps me? you want to marry an ungodly man before? Maybe i even say these are mere excuses for what these babes want (that rich guy/man sha)

    Good things are good and desirable by all, What is written for Amaka is not what is destined for Jennifer gbogbo bigz girls. If you get a rich man and you are HAPPY, fine. settle with him and continue your life but dont delay yourself/life because of money-made happiness.

    Late Marriage = Late child bearing = using old age to send kids to school with all your pension. when do you want to eat the fruit of your labour self?

    Pr 15:16 ¶ Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.

    • A.k

      November 5, 2011 at 5:09 pm

      I love your comment;so full of wisdom

    • @ A.K. Thanks

      November 5, 2011 at 11:45 pm

      Thanks dear
      I appreciate

    • clairebaby

      November 6, 2011 at 11:44 pm

      u deserve an award!!!!! preach it brother!!!! money is important yes…..but lets not be carried away by greed….there’s nothing wrong with starting small witha hardworking guy with plenty of potential…who really loves you and who makes you happy….if u find a rich man who also loves u and makes you happy….then its your luck!!!!

    • Temi

      November 7, 2011 at 11:10 am

      @ clairebaby, Thanks so much sweetheart

      One day I got to an eatery close to my office where i eat normally and cos one of the attendants has come to know me, she gave me her IV for her wedding. I was so happy for her. The IV was so simple and she felt so fulfilled.

      Then i began to think, am sure her salary cant be more than 10k or 20k at most but she found her love. What about most babes with degrees, good jobs and wealth? Not that most ladies dont have suitors, they do but the ones they have aint what they want. Imagine, you have a guy who is working and you think hes not on your level cos he hasnt got some big stufz.

      Gifts will surely come with love, relationship and marriage but that shouldnt be the basis for going into it. What if something happens to the guy and he cant continue with the normal life style of showering you with things? many are definitely going to file for a divorce.

      So many people want to be where we at, we should be grateful to God for our status. After all can we take all the money to heaven? Nothing will go with us except our soul.
      Lets do it right so we can get the best result youths!

  47. ao

    November 5, 2011 at 9:54 am

    I have an idea: I propose that everyone get real about their finances and cut their coat to size. If you cannot afford something, then leave it alone and stop looking for someone to sleep with or someone else’s rich husband to marry in order to get it. Everyone should pay their own way instead of engaging in ashawo and cheap behavior to get the latest phone, car, house, shoes, etc. I understand that the economic situation in Nigeria is dire, but how bad can it be when the desire is to get the latest blackberry or car. These are not the basics needed for everyday survival such as food. Naija is turning into Sodom and Gomorrah.

    • Cyber, Oko Alhaja

      November 11, 2011 at 7:04 am

      Don’t hold your breath

  48. nita

    November 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Hmmm…I don laff tire oo. But I think a real guy enjoys taking care of his girl within his capacity. I like guys dt spend and no complaints frm him. Am understanding sha. But abeg abeg no scrubs 4 me…any guy dt is not willing 2 spend 4 me is no worth it. Like my Friend Goldie said SPEND DT MONEY ON ME…

  49. nwando

    November 5, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    The comments have really made my evening! Such entertainment!! Live and let live I say. Do whatever makes you happy as long as you don’t offend God.

  50. madman

    November 5, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    comments are too funny…… hehehe! I won’t delve into my experience with gold digging girls.

  51. Temi

    November 5, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    To me ehn, INSECURITY and Inferiority Complex is what makes anyone (be it a babe or a guy) search for rich guys/gurls who can spoil them (Not saying its not good o)

    Imagine,
    if i have my own money, why do i have to look for someone to spoil me?
    If i come from a wealthy family, why do i have to look for wealthy guys/babes?
    If i believe in myself and future that i can and will make it, why do i subject myself to searching for someone who has already made it?

    Believe me sincerely, poverty in Africa is not helping matters. If you look at these people who want rich/wealthy people (male/female)they come from lesser backgrounds and somehow, they have got this feeling that they dont wanna suffer, they dont wanna pass through all what they had passed through.

    Work on yourself people; Pray to your God and work hard. Let your God bless you. If we all do, our relationships and marriages will work more than the high rate of divorce and break ups we having due largely to an unquenchable desire for material things.

    By grace, i have my own money, have my own car…i have never thought of dating a babe because of what shes got-why do i need to? I have, i dont need to look for someone to give me. Infact am a cheerful giver- can spoil anyone i love with all those things we talking about but that shouldnt be the basis for friendships/relationships.

    Ladies, you getting it twisted. Giving comes with marriage and relationship as you dish out to the person you love but don’t make “giving/receiving/what i can get” as the basis for relationship/marriage!

    Guys know gurls who are out for all these…your happiness, peace and everlasting love in marriage/relationship is more important than receiving a gift that leaves you the same (single)

    • Temi

      November 7, 2011 at 10:59 am

      Another Temi on BN! Noice 😉

    • @ Gbam

      November 7, 2011 at 11:08 am

      Yes Temi, another Temi
      lol

    • lustre

      December 14, 2011 at 1:04 pm

      ur so wrong. everyone or rather 90% will feel safer with someone in their class ie the rich and the rich, the poor and the poor, if God and chance gives the poor a life rich partner, they’re lucky but a rich girl hardly ever considers a guy from a poor background(some do but its rare)

  52. gbam!

    November 6, 2011 at 12:58 am

    CALL ME SHALLOW BUT IF YOU CANT MAINTAIN ME I CANT DATE YOU.AFTERALL I AM NOT SUFFERING IN MY FATHERS HOUSE.if you have d nerve to approach a girl who looks expensive why it be a problem for you to aid her once in a while.as a guy u should want your babe to look fab ……AND FOR D LADIES WHO R FORMING INDEPENDENT.DT 1 DEY YOUR POCKET

    • @ Gbam

      November 6, 2011 at 12:04 pm

      You are off point!

      You can as well remain in your father’s house then!!! Maintain you? are you a car that should be maintained?

  53. gbam!

    November 6, 2011 at 1:00 am

    SORRY I MEANT *WHY SHOULD IT B A PROBLEM FOR YOU TO AID HER*

  54. Juju

    November 6, 2011 at 3:47 am

    pls if u say u dont like free tins hands up (i cant c any hands up) independent or dependent free things r always sweet even d extremely rich pple still like wat dey didnt buy with their money(free tins) n pls guys shud look out for girls dia level n stick to dem shikenah! u c a hot babe lookin expensive u go ahead n chyke her mnwl u cant keep up after u start screaming she’s materialistic mnwl u saw it from d start, guys n girls r wise dese days i used to have a friend who kept on claimin she wasnt in a financial relationship(lmao) i kept asking myself den which one r u in? emotional, spiritual, psychological? in d end wen she broke up with d guy it took her yrs to admit dat d guy neva gave her a single gift weda bday o, xmas o, vals day o all d days notin with d mindset dat love is not all abt all material tins(in d end who was d fool?) anyway dats by d way. for me i dont know wat to call it o but its not gold digging sha my bf must not be swimmin in money but u shud be able to represent always i’ll love u with both eyes open no vex love is sweet but money too is sweet. I’ve heard some1 say its beta to cry in d latest bmw dan to cry on a bike or cab u get d msg abi? a wise gold digger must be able to gather as much as he/she can to become “independent” wen d ride is over. dats my opinion

    • blah

      November 7, 2011 at 5:19 pm

      Sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but “free tins” don’t exist in this life. Everything comes with a price and a huge one at that. Well except for the gifts from God like air……

  55. Texas

    November 7, 2011 at 7:35 am

    True love is hidden when money is involved.

    • Temi

      November 7, 2011 at 11:31 am

      True dear
      Money covers it all so you dont know what is what till there is a break in the source of income. When there is no money, the test of patience, endurance, perseverance, respect and humility is known!

  56. labby

    November 7, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    You all need to watch the film “I Am” by Tom Shadyac, maybe and just maybe, some of you may see the light.

  57. Swahili

    November 7, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    I have so enjoyed this article. You just helped clarify a couple of things for me as well. Lovely!!!!

  58. jennietobbie

    November 7, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    TRUE LOVE DOESN’T MEASURE; IT JUST GIVES!!!!

  59. Bellar

    November 8, 2011 at 10:46 am

    independent my cute ass,.. Firstly props to Ex-blogger and Flychick, y’ll seeing the world for what it really is. See, be independent all you like, the universe has already advised that the men is the provider, PROVIDER jare.. which one english word dont you understand again.. Men love to provide, they are built to provide, unless you are his mama, then he wants to fend and provide for you.. abeg, the comments are killer , you all with your ” independence”… be independent – meaning dont be a maid waiting for a handout, that is very unattractive, let him know that you can do you should the need arise but allow him be the man in your life. I dont have time or sympathy for broke n*ggas.. jare, which one for sef? na wa, mama didnt raise no fool. A man has to thnk twice before approaching me, fine girl as i am, you need to be packing some in that your wallet cause my entire head to toe, dont come cheap. So a real man will see and recognise that.. if he dont , keep it moving sha, aint no time for you. You are who you attract. that is a sure thing. but yes i love this article, good post sha, well done, and very interesting to see things in the way you all think.if I may take it back to 100 years ago, were men not providers then. did your mothers not marry a good man from a good home who was assured to care for you her.. abeg, nothing has changed o, y’ll just complicating issues for nothing sha!. Keep the gold digging moving.. i even say upgrade to platinum digging if you dey like omo!

  60. ehioma

    November 8, 2011 at 10:51 am

    Kaiiii….money matter…lwkmd… Well it all still bores down to individual differences, if love like your chicken baked instead of fried, den bake it…. If your problem is money and not love den solve it.. Afterall dey said Money doesn’t bring happiness, neither does poverty bring happiness, nor is true love without its own challenges……so y stress ursef, wateva u chose hv its own pros and cons……. I hv friends dt love rich guys, I hv d ones ones dat love stingy guys, I hv d ones dat beliv strugglin togeda wt their man is d best, I hv d ones dat dn’t even want to be under a man… Do wateva u hv to do to achieve d happiness u desire cos at d end of d day u r only accountable to ursef and God…. But if dat happiness turns out to b a mirage…na der wahala dey o…lol

  61. gazelle

    November 8, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    I don’t know abt u pple sha, but as for me, I want to get married for all d right reasons… For love , for happines, and for comfort…. So I will just got to where d rich are and fall in-love “biggrin”…. Trust me evryone hv their own little selfish reason for getting married dat dey will neva say….. So if ur lil secret is d money… Well its same as someone dat his or her own is sex..or food… Or good character …. Or naivety…or family name….or connection….or wateva…..

  62. naveah

    November 8, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    This was an enjoyable article. I have never been one of those girls who dated wealthy men, I have always dated average joes who worked a regular job and from middle class families. Also, I have always lived in the States and dating here is different from dating in Nigeria. If you date a wealthy man or a man from a wealthy family in Nigeria, you can ask such a guy for a blackberry or tell him your car needs to be taken to the mechanic and it’s not a big deal but in the States, dude will look at you like “and how is that my problem?”…. unless the guy is Nigerian but if dude is African-American or Caucasian, forget about it. LOL

    I have never ever really wanted a guy to buy me too much any. I never wanted any guy paying my rent, buying me a flat screen or a car because I always felt with that came with some control. I don’t believe anything is for free, if I want to give my love and toto away, it’s going to be on my own terms and not out of obligation because some dude is “sponsoring” me in some way or the other. If I tell you to get the hell out of my apartment after a fight, I don’t want dude pulling the persian rug from under my feet because the receipt is still in his pocket.

    Yes, it is very easy to envy women who have the fortune of marry plastic surgeons, investment bankers but the grass ain’t always greener on the other side. They have to contend with these men not being home, over stressed, workaholics etc. They get to spend more time with the man’s money in an empty house or at the mall more than they do with their husband. Yes, if a man wants to give me something nice for my birthday, xmas, our anniversary or just because, I don’t mind as long as it is within reason. If a dude bursts out giving me a range rover, I begin to wonder how I’m going to be expected to show my gratitude later.

    I am now married, my husband makes less than I do but he is doing what he loves and he will make more in God’s good time. I would not switch him for any reach man because though he may not be rolling in dollars, pounds and yens, he is everything I was looking for in a man and more. What does it benefit me to have a husband who makes half a million a year but doesn’t have an ounce of warmth in his body?

    Ladies, we should pray for God to bring us that man that will be a partner, friend, lover, excellent husband and father. Money is important and so is great sex BUT more important that these two things are TRUST, Honesty, Friendship, Love, Peace, Compromise, Communication, Partnership, Forgiveness, Acceptance. If you don’t build your relationship on these things, don’t even bother getting married. There are times when I feel the financial pinch and I wish my husband brought in more but I look at all the things we have which I have listed above and that feeling dissipates because I know God has us in the palm of His hands.

    To all my single ladies out there, let God guide you. The friends that seem to be living the high life are not telling you ALL that they are sacrificing to lead that lifestyle, you only see what they want you to see. Search your heart, Listen to your spirit and Shine your eyes when you are dating a young man, don’t get blinded by the bling and make a mistake that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

    That’s my own two rusty kobo.

    • Akudo

      November 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm

      well said Naveah, so nice of you to put things in the right perspective cos am so sure that a lot of ladies might start wishing they were being treated otherwise thereby forgetting that all that glitters is not gold.been there…..done that. 99.9% of guys that replace love with material things have no value for the ladies…trust me.

    • Temi

      November 8, 2011 at 9:50 pm

      Naveah, men are praying for more of your kind to settle down with. If we have more of you in this world, this world will be a better place to stay in.

      I see many bachelors around and i get to realize that most of them are scared to settle down with ladies cos of this same topic of discussion.

      Since we can never force opinions and values on people as everyone is entitled to his/her own, lets keep praying that ALL that is OURS will be divinely arranged and blessed with all good things and that at the end of all things, we make it to our eternal home.

      cheers

    • Evilicious

      November 13, 2011 at 4:11 pm

      Well said naveah. Dating in the united states is totally different who do u want to be asking for bb or iPad? Even if the guy is Nigerian it’s going to take a lot before he can provide u with such but that is by the way. Most ladies in Nigeria are just caught up with living in fools paradise, what happened to casting all ur cares on God? Money will only get u so far in life, but at the end of the day it’s what is inside that counts. Let us leave all this money issue and focus on the One Who made us, and see if He wouldn’t take care of us.

  63. fab chick

    November 8, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    IF YOUR FATHER CAN’T AFFORD IT PLEASE DONT ASK HIM TO BUY IT AND IF YOUR FATHER CAN AFFORD IT ASK YOUR FATHER THEN…….LOL

  64. Baba Jayejaye

    November 8, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    With all the comments on this article, I can’t help but think “So much for bra-burning”.

  65. jhummie

    November 9, 2011 at 9:44 am

    relationships should not come with a price tag.when i met my husband he was without a job n i just loved him for who he is and i tell you that today am not regreting cos nw he has a job n i spend almost half of his income even though am earning more than he does but he still gives me money n buys things for me and my baby.
    BELLANAIJA ABEG NO DELETE MY COMMENT OOOOOOO, COS I NO KNW WETIN I DO U WEY U DEY DELETE MY COMMENT.

  66. duru

    November 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    U took the words out of mouth. even parents ask us to shine eye that love is not important but security. All i have to say is love is most important and vitrues. No one know tomorrow you have stress in a relationship that money cannot buy wat will you do then. you should love a person the best way you know how and if they r gud peopel they will love you back.

  67. 'Misola

    November 10, 2011 at 6:09 pm

    @Hauwa b, thumbs up! it pains me when people generalize saying “all girls are after your money”. one thing though is that, you can give without loving but you cant love without giving! and if you think its about how expensive the gift is, you have missed the point.

  68. anita

    November 10, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    All these comments are funny but can a nice, comfortable man (middle class) who still believes in M&B-kind-of-love pls come and find me???!! *sigh*

  69. Manhattan Boy

    November 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    10%. ? 10%!!!!!!!??????????. Wetin she be. Only Jehovah Almighty asks for 10%. and he gets it. Unless d babe can turn water to wine or do something that is extra-ordinarily productive like invent a water powered car. . She dey mad?? better make boiz try lucky for lottery. naija babes sef. as for Manhattan Boy. Na models and Bottles.

  70. Manhattan Boy

    November 11, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    When the toto no be DIAMOND plated .

    pshwee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

  71. ify

    November 11, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    lol omg dont even no wat to say …..at the end of the day both male and female are gold diggers, i hve a friend who was dating this asshole guy(excuse my french) like he never paid her any attention or wat not fast foward a year her dad became a governor this guy still didnt treat her well o but now started asking her for thing…..he would say stuff like ehn if u want to see me buy my ticket to 9ja sebi ur popsi is a gov or ask for ridiculous amounts of money from her …..so at the end of the day nt only females rgolddiggers

  72. kemi

    November 12, 2011 at 2:31 am

    i think what is proper is for a man or woman not to be stingy. at every level we are. we should give gift in line with that level. if you have it to give give. but do not be in a relationship because of what you can get. BUt where are the guys giving range rovers to their girl friends?

  73. ibukungeorge

    November 12, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    @go speed dater Laughing hard at ‘pic kini’ hahahaha.Na wa o.

  74. Evilicious

    November 12, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Nawa oh what happened to relyin on phillipians 4:19? Lol but I always wonder about the guys who indulge all these girls and their numerous request…Im just glad that I have a Father who always provides for me. Ladies maybe when u start giving more than u receive, u wouldn’t have to rely on any human being for money. God does not play with His words, as long as u continue giving, and also giving into His kingdom u will never lack. King David was one of the richest kings ever, not because he was hard working, but it was because he took care of God’s house and God blessed him and his generation because David was faithful. Maybe if we take time out, serve God be faithful with our tithes and offerings, sew into His house (not just financially) then God will take care of u. In malachi He said prove me now, if I will not open the windows of heaven and pour out riches that u will not have room enough to receive. I am someone who has never lacked for anything not because my parents are rich cause I don’t even ask for money, but because I recognise riches and blessings come from God alone and decided to make Him my source. Until ladies realise that, they will continue to beg their partners for money. And a guy will never respect u if all u do is ask ask and ask.

  75. chexbarbie

    November 13, 2011 at 1:09 am

    this is the best article i’ve ever read on bella naija. the comments are more entertaining. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! bella post my comment oooooo!

  76. NaijaGurl1

    November 15, 2011 at 12:14 am

    Some times I wonder…. Things like this make me realize that there is a diff between lifestyles of girls abraod and those in naija. As in eh while some of us are hustling with jobs to be able to afford to even fix the cheapest hair sef babes in naija are fixing the latest brazillian weave, changing bb anyhow with bf’s money. Dnt get me wrong, I love being independent but eh times are hard ooo and it wouldn’t hurt to hv a bf that can lavish on u every once in a while.
    *sigh

  77. New Look

    November 17, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    This time last month I no get good job and no guy was intereting in me,watin dem hear say I done see job for Etisalat,plenty guy don dey fall in love o.I’m a gud percent for @pearls point of view,and would like to emphasis her last statement “but am not messing with no broke broke….cos i aint broke. shikena!!!!.

  78. oge

    November 17, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    some girls see money as the basis of a relationship how rich is he what does he do for a living and all that . personally i dont thik it is important every girl should be able to take care of her self fiancially because at the end of the day we end up falling into the hands of the wrong guys who believe that everything they do for us we have to pay back in any way. i would rather be independent and do thiungs for my self . i mean i have friends who believe that love for a guy should be measured by the size of his wallet i strongly disagree with that because that is just not fair it is easy for some one to throw money at you but it is not easdy for some one to geniunely love you

  79. bisola

    November 18, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    i dont know jare i am so confused today w ant to be independent tomorrow i want someonr to take care of me God take control

  80. Hmmmmmm

    November 21, 2011 at 1:15 am

    People have received cars, phones and other expensive gadgets, shoes, clothes, perfume, erm even novels…. I’m almost scared to say this but I’ve never gotten any gift from any man before oh! Where have I been and I’m about to be 29 too!! Okay, perfume from a male friend who wasn’t trying to get with me does not count.

    I’ve never known how to ask for anything from a guy even for favours that don’t require any money spent as such, like a lift to the airport, etc. I’ve always stood by myself, on my own with my honest hustle. I’ve only been in one relationship before and he never ever gave me anything…. I gave, gave, gave and gave… I was all mushy and stuff too. I’d get a card “just because or just to say I love you”, I would cook like I was cooking for my husband, I would take emotional abuse, not because I’m stupid or I’ve ever had low self esteem but maybe because I wasn’t sure what to expect from a relationship and I didn’t know how to be loved…… I was drained financially, emotionally, physically, in every way I can think of.

    Thank God for opening my eyes to knowing that everyone is worthy of love and being taken care of. I still don’t think a girlfriend should expect her man to do everything for her. I actually feel the giving should go both ways… What I know for sure is if you love someone, you’ll give… It just happens like that, you shouldn’t give because you want to impress a girl, or you want to make a point or because there’s this new 10 percent rule, but give because you care and because you love.

    @ GoSpeeddater, please, my ideal date is a walk in the park and a stage play, abeg come and carry me, i want to see that bronze pot :0)

  81. Mandy

    November 24, 2011 at 3:30 am

    Lmao! The way i see it, when you depend on a man for money and all he will never respect you. I feel like i owe him too. If a man truly cares, he knows what to do and when to do them.

  82. kemy

    November 25, 2011 at 3:32 am

    LOL! even d bible says any man that cant provide for hs family, is worse than an infidel. A man should be the head, so he shld provide and tk care of hs woman. period.

  83. Miss C

    November 25, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Interesting,enlightening and some funny comments…@Gbam,Akara 4 picnic.?…..ROTFLMAO.

  84. Tinu

    December 7, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    Wow wow wow… been reading a lot of this comments really crazy… this world is not going to get better it is going to get worse.. If we all continue in the mindset that we have… God the creator of all things had seen all this to come and given us the answer in the Bible to the extent he gave us the definition of LOVE and the only commandment given to us after is death was LOVE… wow.. but humans come with their own understanding and are perishing with their own understanding of things… It all comes down to choices… Christ even said above all things the greatest thing to have is LOVE love ur fellow person as u would love urself.. if everyone can think this way… this world will be a better place and we will not have issues that we do have… We all want the good things in life… but one day i sat down and i looked at the celebrities we all envy and think they have such an awesome life… but yet everyday they breakup, get divorced… but notice they still search for LOVE… I wonder when Christ really said and above all the greatest thing is LOVE… They marry again and again or they fall in love again and again.. so in this life if u really do not experience Love u are living a really miserable life.. cos above all LOVE is the greatest…. Dont be a poverty stricken personalties and that means think of urself as u own the world when ur mindset is that way it shows in ur life… So all this issues about money and relationships.. lol if we need to go back to the basis CHRIST GAVE US AN ANSWER AND IT IS LOVE… i wish its as simple as we can understand it…. I love u all…

  85. stella.m.w.

    December 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    with GOD all things are possible,with MONEY some things are possible,with LOVE(wantiti) most things are possible.i dont know much about algebra but i know God+love+hardwork=success.

  86. temiloluwa

    January 22, 2012 at 4:37 am

    i’ve always had love in my relationships but for d 1st tym i hv a boo wif lots of money, love and attention to throw around and its the best so far. trust me love is a great thing but love and money combined, just magical!

  87. Es*star

    January 27, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    @flychick- am so feeling you on this – “It’s your choice if you decide to remain on the ‘giving only’ end of the stick. Aint nobody gonna give you a medal for that. Neither do you have my sympathy.”
    First of…..we all go into a relationship because we need to intimately connect and commit to someone emotionally, spiritually, physically and of cos financially….about being d “independent chic”, have been there and done dat and gurl, e no pay!…

    ….i see it this way, there’s nothing wrong with demanding/receiving from your lover….the thing wrong is your motive, your timing and manner of approach!!…Kai! some ladies just lack self-respect and are mannerless!!…..from the ‘picnic story’ told a few boxes away….its so obvious that lady dates the wallet and not d man….this is a guy that took a good deal of time and ‘feminine effort’ to butter sum bread slices, pack napkins, n snacks!!….i mean there are 101 ways of conveying a hint on the kind of date u wld hv loved/appreciate….besides who said a r/ship has to be about just u!….i rest my case on dat….

    …back to my point, its right and infact important that you demand and recieve from your guy and vice-versa when you need them….just make sure you’re asking what they can give, at the right time and in the right way/manner…..AND IN SINCERITY TOO!!….dont turn him/her to an atm machine…i mean do it with sense…so dat whenever u get to ask, dey’d be honoured to help…….over frequent “begy begy” tells me sumthing – ure damn broke n cheap and dont have respect for urself! …..mscheww…..weren’t u living ur life b4 u met him or her? abi he/she was the Jesus that raised u from d dead?!

    ………and lemme add that there’s a difference between falling for a guy that happens to be rich AND aiming for a fat wallet that belongs to any guy! (now, dats low gurl, get a grip!)………

    i’ll leave you with this…………financial compatibility is the supreme test of a relationship……..once dat aspect is settled…get 2d rings pls!

  88. wemimo

    March 8, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    ah! av recently been turning down a lot of roke niggers out there basking or better said roasting in the sun…..now i dey shine mi eyes well well…..me no fit chop pomo again na to dey chop money dey go!!

  89. Stud an

    May 14, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    A relationship based on money will definitely crumble like a pack of cards sooner or later.Materialism has eaten deeply into the fabric of our society and it’s unfortunate that most
    ladies look at the size of a man’s pocket than the contents of his character.However some men are equally guilty.For the stingy guys out there,remember….”For God so love the world that He GAVE..”

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