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On Becoming a Man: Questions. Just Questions!



“At the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become.” – Leo Babauta

Questions are everywhere – on the streets, in the malls, in classrooms, in homes and even at eateries and pubs – What? Why? Who? When? Where? How?

Questions abound in the minds and mouths of little children. A child wants to know many things, more than any adult could sufficiently answer. Spend a day with one of them and you get the chance to explore that world again – one characterized by innocence and curiosity; curiosity that could drive you crazy, if it’s not your lucky day.

Then, they grow up into adults, who also have many questions, but have mostly learnt to pick fewer things to bother their heads about. They have also learnt to define what exactly they want, hopefully.

What exactly do you want – out of life, out of this deal, out of that plan, out of that idea you have become obsessed with lately? Do take a second, and… now, let us move on.
I have heard on many occasions that “Why?” is the most important question you could ever ask anyone. Anything you want to do in this life, just ask yourself why? If you can’t tell for sure, you might just reconsider your desire! A guy is chasing you up and down, just ask him why (he wants what he wants)? You want to work with a multinational, why? A teenager asks for a new bag at the beginning of the second term when the current one is only three months old, why? Your parents want you to attend the family church forever, why? You must raise sixty million naira in two weeks for that bank you work for, why?

Then there is the question of identity. Who are you? Whether that sounds rude or not, how many times has that question left you embarrassed; maybe it made you to start doubting who you truly were? This question can be very tough, but it could hold the key to a life-changing journey to discovering who you truly are, beyond the façade and the appearances you have always put up.

When will they fulfill their promise to you? When will I find the right one? When will you get a good job? When will she say yes? When will he come along with his parents to ‘see’ my parents? When will you get the promotion you believe you deserve? When will I make my first billion?

Where do you get a lasting antidote for worry? Where? Where do broken hearts go? Oh! That’s simple.

Do you also remember this question: how did water enter the coconut? People have built multimillion dollar companies by answering the question: “how?”

According to John Fowles, 20th century novelist and author of The Magus, “The most important questions in life can never be answered by anyone except oneself.” I agree with him. Perhaps, that explains why even Jesus Christ responded to most questions he was asked with questions as well.

I believe that without questions, we would never have answers. We get the best answers when we discover and ask the right questions. The right questions asked at the right time in the right context and in the right manner can lead to a revolution – of ideas and other great things that blow away the most rigid minds.

“At the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become,” says author Leo Babauta.

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Gbenga Awomodu is an Editorial Assistant at Bainstone Ltd./ When he is not reading or writing, Gbenga is listening to good music or playing the piano. Follow him on Twitter: @gbengaawomodu | Gbenga’s Notebook: | Facebook Page: Gbenga Awomodu

Digital Content Strategist | Creative Writer. Copy Editor. Storyteller. Vocalist. Amateur Pianist. Spoken Word Poetry recording artiste. Lover of Words & Images. #ArsenalFC. Twitter: @gbengaawomodu


  1. Miss pepisky

    September 14, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    Ehn no comment ke……quite unusual lol

  2. lol

    September 15, 2012 at 3:29 am

    i ask myself a lot of dis questions and even time i always have different answers and more questions..emmmm anyway u gave me a great idea reading dis i know what question to ask who now

  3. Nic

    September 15, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Small correction: John Fowles is a 20th century novelist. His three most famous novels were published in the 1960s. The Magus even takes place after WWII (an important plot point). Otherwise, nice piece.

  4. Lizzie

    September 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Wow! Good One…

  5. Micheal

    September 15, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Asking questions could sometimes lead to answers you’ll rather not want as an adult . Some question you’ll rather not ask being a man,like asking what your wife she did with the last money you gave her………… or asking your boss who always closes late ,who is that single girl that always visits your office after closing hours? I guess sometimes, we usually assume answers noni..nice write …..don’t mind my naughty comment but shit happens you’ll rather not ask.

  6. brandigest

    September 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    So revealling. well written.

  7. Leke

    September 17, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    The answer to all your questions is Jesus. Just draw closer to him

    • anon

      September 17, 2012 at 2:29 pm

      yes o!!!!!!!!!!! On point

    • Gbenga Awomodu

      September 17, 2012 at 10:14 pm

      Lovely! 🙂

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