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“Whom Do You Know?” – 3 Tips for Building Your Business Network



Many of us, especially youths, chase after big aunties and uncles to help in the pursuit of our goals. They are there to connect us with one of their old friends or to get us that contract that will give us enough money to buy a piece of land. This is all well and good but we are forgetting that the ‘Uncles’ and ‘Aunties’ are only there for a period. Their generation will soon hand over the mantle of power to you. Yes, to you and your peers and this means – that old classmate of yours whom you have refused to reply her email with a simple “I am well, thank you” may become the Minister of Women Affairs tomorrow.


A few days ago, I was fortunate to be in a gathering where a lovely woman talked about the value of ‘networking’. She said, “The power of horizontal networks is as important as that of your vertical networks”. It struck a chord.

Let me explain. The vertical network is a connection of those big ‘Aunties’ and ‘Uncles’ we keep sending emails every once in a while to ‘connect’ you with the Dangotes of their time. Part of the vertical networks may include those beneath you if you are accomplished and well positioned in the society.

The horizontal networks, however, are your peers whom we often ignore. The truth is, your peers may have started building stronger connections than you, and one day, when the time comes, you may need their help.

Note also that networking should not be cold blooded; it should not be for your pockets alone. You may reach out to others even if they don’t reach out to you with the hope that soon, you may add value to that other person’s life. In other words, networking should be about sharing not taking.

If you are up for networking, here are a few things to note:

Constant Networking Builds Trust
If we have never met, the first time I send you an email, you are very likely to place me the “strangers’ zone” and you may not be as willing to help out as you might have been if you have received up to three emails from me. What this means is that networking is a deliberate and constant effort to connect. So don’t get discouraged the first time you send an email to someone you don’t know. I’d advise that you reach out to old friends as well. You never know where help will come from when you need it. A simple “how far now?” will do.

Make an Effort to Add Some Value into Your Relationships
Networking is not supposed to be for promoting selfish interests. It is meant to be mutually beneficial. If you are reaching out to a stranger even on Facebook (especially on Facebook), try and send a note stating a common ground you both share. Perhaps you both are in the same LinkedIn group or you read an article he/she wrote somewhere or you both have a love for spaghetti. Whatever works…

Sift the chaff from the grain
Some networks are time draining and not really beneficial. Sometimes, you encourage a relationship and find out that you seem burdened by the other person’s problems. It is very okay to help out, that is in fact why you are networking. But when you always seem depressed by a relationship, know when to cut it off.

You may argue that networking is difficult if you are more of an introvert, but the truth is if I asked you to sing in front of a crowd and receive N100million- whether you do badly or not- you will most likely consider it. Think of networking as an investment in your future. It may come naturally to some and may be difficult for you but reflect on the many times you may have hard to work harder back in your school days on a difficult subject just to pass. If it’s not that easy, take the first step and reach out and see how many people reach back in turn.

Finally, remember that you may be in the position to be helped by one of your horizontal networks someday, and that day will not be the time to start constructing an email that reads “Dear Janet, Long time No See…”

It may be too late. Start Now.

Happy Living!

Photo Credit:
Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu is a writer and marketing consultant, assisting SMEs grow their businesses profitably. She is also the Coordinator of FabulousCity, a brand to motivate women to be the best they can be. You can follow her on Twitter: @ifesinachio_o or send her a mail on [email protected]. Visit her website: and leave a comment.


  1. Temizzy

    April 8, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Thank you for this am sending the emails now*shines teeth*


    April 8, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    very useful article

  3. Benson

    April 8, 2013 at 3:45 pm


  4. Wow good piece!

    April 8, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    This is indeed a good article. ( affordable stuffs waiting for you)

  5. jumoke

    April 8, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    Fantastic article,keep it up.

  6. lemoh

    April 8, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    wow!!!..this article is indeed a wake up call..God bless u for this..pls keep it up

  7. Blossom

    April 8, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    “Whom” though?

    • Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu

      April 8, 2013 at 10:15 pm

      Thanks for pointing that out, Blossom. I was a bit confused at first, but I discovered that ‘whom’ is grammatically correct in that sentence. Check here for clarification:

  8. Lola

    April 8, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    absolutely love it 🙂

  9. Lola

    April 8, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    and after attending a networking conference this past weekend, I cant agree more with all you have said…i concur…we should all start Now! Thanks for this article…former classmate 🙂

    • Ifesinachi Okoli-Okpagu

      April 8, 2013 at 10:17 pm

      Thanks Lola! Better now than later…

  10. Queen of Everything

    April 8, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    @Blossom, thank you!! I was wondering if anyone was going to pick up on that *sigh*

  11. Olulu

    April 8, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    Aptly put. I like.

  12. x factor

    April 8, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    Very Insightful…Some deep value adding stuff on BN always

  13. fashionandstylepolice

    April 8, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    Thanks for this beautiful article. I will work on these tips.

  14. Ada

    April 8, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    great advice!

  15. Agape

    April 8, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    Thank you! 🙂

  16. vincent

    April 8, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    nice article, thank u


    April 9, 2013 at 12:14 am

    Wow! Definately a wake up call.

  18. Fabmimi

    April 9, 2013 at 12:47 am

    Insightful. . . . .

  19. kikelomo

    April 9, 2013 at 1:11 am

    Nice one there, love it, ll definitely work with it, thanks for sharing this with us.

  20. madman

    April 9, 2013 at 2:44 am

    If someone doesn’t respond to my emails within 48hrs – I have no interest in doing business with them.

  21. JP

    April 9, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Nice tips. Really Bellanaija keeps inspiring me. Apart from building a good relationship, the soul of biz lies in the network one is able to drive! Follow my blog

  22. Gbemmy

    April 9, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Very nice article,thanks Bella naija,let me start my networking from here,lol…..
    Hi every one,my name is oluwagbemisola am an up coming designer and an interior decorator,nice meeting u guys on Bella naija,do have a lovely day ahead and always think positive.

  23. Kome Olori Agulonu

    April 9, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    Ify, this is straight to the point and full of wisdom especially the bit about the unreturned messages. Some people are in the habit of ignoring those they think to be less than them but they spend hours searching through Facebook for those who seem to be highflyers. Suffice to say that no one knows tomorrow. It will be better to keep an open mind and treat everyone with warmth and respect. You really never know where your help will come from.

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