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Love & Violence Don’t Go Well Together! Watch ‘Nkoli’, A Short Film on Domestic Violence by Ifeoma Chukwuogo



We can never have too much of speaking up against domestic violence. In this stirring short film, Nkoli, the narrator tells of her travails as the victim of domestic violence.

Directed by Ifeoma Chukwuogo, Nkoli is a film that anyone who has been a victim can relate to. We encourage you to watch and maybe somehow, together we can put a stop to this terrible situation.


  1. LamLam

    December 12, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    #Sad.dat guy needs help how can u hit ur pregnant wife smh

  2. Wooooo

    December 12, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    All good mothers should train their sons well

  3. Mz Socially Awkward...

    December 12, 2013 at 11:50 pm

    The message behind this was very real. A seemingly normal couple you may know, that are hiding a dark secret of domestic violence. I applaud the filmmakers for how they’ve communicated their message.

  4. June

    December 13, 2013 at 12:28 am


  5. Thelma

    December 13, 2013 at 12:34 am

    I’m so happy about all the attention domestic violence is getting of late. I’m thankful for the media publicity. At least now people know to speak out about it, and as for those that thought it was normal, part of being a girlfriend/wife they now know better.

  6. Warri Babe

    December 13, 2013 at 12:36 am

    *crying seriously*,ahhh how can some men be sooooooo mean? Please, biko, any relationship that doesn’t make you happy, pls let’s pity our mothers’ labour over us, our siblings love and back out. I know it isn’t easy but I pray that every evil force holding any woman back in any kind of abusive relationship will be destroyed in the name of Jesus. God will replace every pain you’ve had with great joy, and to the idiots and morons (I had an aunty who called mumc as early as 5 am to come and pick her up after her useless,shameless husband that beaten her overnight), your reward is not just in hell but on earth because you can’t expect to be happy after causing sorrow.

    Funny enough, I realised that most men that do this are mostly the ‘bosses’ at work(my aunty’s hubby), fine looking guys, guys that are ‘gentle’ and can’t hurt a fly, it’s a lie, all na bobo. Just leave, I hate it when I hear galfriends say ‘Divorce or separation is not an option as a christian, ama foriti (endure)’babe, u may foriti to your grave!!!!better wakeup!!! I’m so pissed off right now!!!

  7. Dee

    December 13, 2013 at 2:33 am

    I understand 🙁

  8. Chella

    December 13, 2013 at 4:39 am

    Indeed this is an issue that needs to be openly talked about! Especially in Nigeria. Many of these women are blinded by the so called, “Nigerian mentality,” they live in this invisible box that they decide to linger and not deviate and go against the norms of the Nigerian society. A lot of these women believe that they have to stay in a domestic violence relationship (without the men, they are nothing, they don’t want to be the laughing piece, He will change, He wasn’t like that, I’m praying, or people won’t believe them if they speak out, etc.). In most cases, this is false. PLEASE GET HELP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! LEAVE!
    I’m sure the Emergency system does not fully work in Nigeria, these people can’t immediately get the help they need even if they call the cops.
    Not only are women being the victims, men are too. They are many relationships that men are being domestically abused. Please get help.

  9. kemi

    December 13, 2013 at 5:16 am

    so proud of u ify and toyeke.

  10. Temi

    December 13, 2013 at 5:30 am

    God this is why i see most men as venomous, and they keep asking me why i won’t get married, like its so glamorous i should close my eyes and jump into a ditch. Even though i love wedding pictures i refuse to be shackled to a man that thinks sex and rape are synonymous. I have never understood why women hold the truth behind smiling faces, this kind of love is death. I used to know a man who could smooth talk misery away, this short story is really touching but yet you will see women watch this and quote bible verses and for better or worse BS. Women, a slap or a beating is not the only reason to leave a man, it starts with the anger and mental abuse. He will beat you up and make you love the marks he leaves on your body like passion marks.

  11. Yewy

    December 13, 2013 at 6:32 am

    Good Job Toyeke!

  12. Vim

    December 13, 2013 at 7:30 am

    I’m so happy they addressed marital rape!
    So many people refuse to believe it is a “thing”.
    I remember a teacher from secondary school saying “How will a man steal what is his own”.
    Too many women get raped by men that are supposed to love and cherish them. How is a woman whose trust and security has been abused meant to a raise a confident hate free child?
    One victim I know spends 90% of her time with her children cursing their father because she has way to much hurt inside her.
    While we are preaching against domestic violence/rape please let’s not ignore marital rape! It happens! It is an issue! It is a big deal!

  13. aunty

    December 13, 2013 at 8:59 am

    oh my! the acting is intense!

  14. Spicy

    December 13, 2013 at 9:03 am

    Silence is very dangerous. We need to learn to speak up against such acts.

  15. Tosan

    December 13, 2013 at 9:49 am

    Awesome message! Silence never solves any problem. Great work Toyeke, I see you 😉

  16. Endo

    December 13, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Couldn’t beat to watch it any longer than that 1st scene. Just started tearing up. Domestic violence is simply evil!

  17. Helen Nji

    December 13, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    So real! Good job Ifeoma. So young and soooo talented

  18. NO NAME

    December 13, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    He beats her,She stayed, he got ‘born again’ He changed! Mummy is happy again! Me? I can’t forget.

    • Hey

      December 13, 2013 at 2:55 pm

      Yea it’s difficult getting such memories off children

  19. BA

    December 13, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Very well done.

  20. Joan85

    December 13, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    I’m so afraid of marrying a man that will be beating me black and blue mehn, and everyone wonders why I’m not even in a hurry at all smh… Domestic violence is real. 🙁

  21. Theresa

    December 13, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Really great movie, the acting is superb and the storyline flawless. Well done to everyone.

    For ladies who are currently experiencing domestic violence, please your life is too important to be wasted by a man. You may not get support from family, friends or even your religious group, but God does not condone that you be treated this way. Marriage is a beautiful thing, not a life threatening one. You are valuable to God and humanity. If your boyfriend or husband thinks otherwise, then you don’t need him.
    Don’t be scared to leave an abusive relationship, as if no one else will ever want you. You are beautiful and a better man/life is available if you will break off this sad relationship.
    Remember the greatest love is self love.

  22. Yinka

    December 13, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    wow!!!this is sooo touching…I actually cried. The acting is excellent, im happy domestic abuse is getting a lot of attention lately

  23. MrsW

    December 13, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    OMG Toyeke! Moving video, wonderful performance…

  24. Dee

    December 13, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    Toyeke and Ifeoma great job. Great message too!!

  25. Safe Nest

    December 13, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Thank you for this amazing piece. Very difficult to watch
    as the acting was very good. Kudos!

  26. Chioma Vivien Ekezie

    December 14, 2013 at 12:15 am

    I’m speechless but full of tears. Thanks Iphy for speaking
    up for the voiceless millions. That guy is brutal! Gooooshhhh!
    Please don’t die in silence because when you die, that guy go marry
    another babe sharp sharp. We should also look beyond the smiles on
    the faces of our close friends. Lets learn to look into their
    souls, perhaps we can find out the hurts behind the smiles. Iphy
    and Toyeke, I’m proud of you Josites. God bless the whole

  27. Anon

    December 14, 2013 at 12:42 am

    I saw my dad beat my mum just weeks after she had our last born although I was about 6 it still haunts me to this day, I do not have a close relationship with my father because I grew up being scared of him. Domestic violence is a very terrible thing not only to the woman but also to the children involved, thank you for putting this out there.

  28. Jay

    December 14, 2013 at 5:11 am

    We women die in silence all in the name of trying to make it work,we sacrifice so much. If only we know how much men cant do without us and how much power we hold over them…sighs

  29. Anonymous

    December 14, 2013 at 9:25 am

    God this just reminds me so much of my own relationship,
    and we are not even married yet! Is this what i have to look
    forward to? He hits me every 6 months or so, jst a slap here or
    there, i’m mad, threaten to leave, he cries and begs and promises
    its the last time, i stay knowing the pattern. In the beginning i
    used to fight back but now i’m just numb when it happens. I know i
    can leave because love isnt even what’s making me stay, stability
    is, how can i leave this person i’ve been with for over 5 years,
    our families already expect the next step is marriage. As i type
    this i know i’m still staying,the fool that i am.

    • Blessmyheart

      December 14, 2013 at 9:25 pm

      Please don’t do this to yourself. I beg you. Think about
      your children even if you don’t want to think about yourself. Read
      the comments above, domestic violence leaves the children scarred
      for life. I suggest you speak to a counsellor about it if you don’t
      have the strength to leave. Please.

    • Grace

      December 15, 2013 at 10:26 pm

      My dear. you are seeing the devil manifesting through this man in broad day light and you don’t want to pick yourself up and run? lemme help you the best I can.
      Jesus says husband love your wives as Christ loves the church!. as human beings we are the object of God’s love. that is he loves and cherish the human race so dearly. he made sacrifices, gave us everything, gave his life up for you and me.
      now it is with this same tone he commands his sons {those who are truly his sons}to love their wives. wives are supposed to be the object of their husbands love. to be cherished, loved and protected, loved unconditionally regardless of her faults and flaws. he is meant to protect too. that means the husbands love is meant to be more than the wife’s love by far.
      such kind of love does not bring hurts or pains. as far as the devil has a free pass into this mans mind and temper he is bound to cause more pain and havoc to you not because he really wants to but because the spirit controlling him is not of God.
      you think about stability? you have been with him for 5 years what if he starts beating you every week and in front of the children? the devil does not have mercy nor does he stop because you are suffering too much. it might be hard to fathom leaving the relationship but take one step at a time by opening your heart up to God that you need God’s help and strength to make the right decision for your life. then the will power to walk away from it will come.
      the devil try to fill peoples mind with his trash suggestions that you will not find someone better so better settle for less. better stand your ground that you will always get the best in life- not because you deserve it- but because by Grace Jesus paid for you to have the best in every area of your life.
      sorry for the long epistle.

  30. NNENNE

    December 14, 2013 at 11:03 pm

    Nice movie. Fellow women, economy is power! Whether
    educated or not, do not depend on the man in your life. It may not
    be physical abuse. It could be verbal abuse.

  31. Grace

    December 15, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    woww. it was hard for me to watch it through to the end. A lot of times human beings like to solve problems and ignore the root cause of the problem.
    the truth is that people are being influenced and controlled and used by the devil—they really are!!! the real enemy is not the person sitting next to you at work, it’s not your neighbor, and it’s certainly not your husband or your wife that’s the problem. Anyone who is not paying attention can be influenced and inspired and used of Satan to come against you, to cause hurt, pain and unhappiness. If we were to recognize that, it would make a huge difference in the way we respond to them.
    If one wants a happy marriage you can never rule God out of it. and why? because God instituted marriage. it was not made by angels, humans or demons. God by himself instituted it and once a person wants to get married and not follow God’s rules then there will be no guarantee that marriage will work or last. Am not talking of Nigerian style kinda love and marriage or African mentality or a mentality by a specific culture or nationality but according to how the word of God describes marriage.

    Don’t expect someone who does not have God’s kind of love to love you flawlessly, unconditionally and forever. such love only comes from the Holyspirit that is why marriage has turned to something ugly when we try to run it by human strength and effort.
    that is why if you are a Christian, who truly serves God in spirit and in truth {and not serving God by words and going to church} for the sake of heaven you will be very careful about whom you marry. because a bad choice can break you.

  32. ujesta

    December 18, 2013 at 12:20 am

    Nice video..I hope this can reach out to the men still involved in this

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