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Peculiar Okafor: Famzing Alert



So the hype around 12 Years A Slave is strong; Lupita Nyong’o is an overnight sensation, to some she is deserving of this and to others she’s just an African who got lucky for taking off her clothes and getting flogged in a movie. Whatever the case, she has an Oscar and bad belle haters can at least pretend to be happy for her, I mean, Designers send her clothes personally and did you see her pictures at the last fashion show?, she sat beside Rihana and people flocked around her. Lupita girl, it’s your time, enjoy.

The Hollywood breeze is blowing here in Nigeria too. After all, we are the giants of Africa and Kenya cannot be getting the American Media attention like this. First Obama of Kenyan descent, now Lupita. So as I was saying, Hollywood notices Nigeria too as our dear Chiwetel Ejiofor is also reaping the rewards of hard-work, and between the Awards and his Sister’s emotional outburst in the office, Nigeria has been mentioned a lot of times (and I choose not to hear the part about their mother not having access to clean water).

The Enugu State government was not to be outdone. Immediately Chiwetel won his award, they sent a congratulatory message to their ‘illustrious son’ who had done them proud. It is immaterial that Google search of his nationality puts him as being British. No! Ejiofor is an Ibo name and an ‘Illustrious son of Enugu he is’. Besides, if he had committed a crime, they would have called him a Nigerian. No pun intended to Enugu State since I had my University education, there but their act and indeed the reaction of Nigerians reminds me of a song my roommates and I used to tease each other with back then in Bello Hall.

Know me when I’m poor,
not when I’m rich
You claim relationship (2x)

Yes, we Nigerians are just like that. Someone becomes affluent and suddenly he becomes ‘the son of our great grandfather’s sister’s brother’s friend who hunted with our grandfather so he is just like a brother. In fact, more than a brother to us’. That girl you never said ‘Hi’ to in your boarding house suddenly becomes your really close pal becayse she is now on the cover of a magazine and on various blogs.

It used to irritate me when a friend of mine referred to a popular model as her friend just because they attended the same secondary school even though this girl never acknowledged her because my friend used to snob her way back in secondary school. I cringed in embarrassment each time my friend sent pictures and messages to her ‘Model friend’ without getting a response. Haba, friendship no be by force now, but I guess to this my friend, it was.

One of the past Gulder Ultimate Search winners used to stay in the same hood with my brother in the University and I know for a fact that they never spoke to each other. In fact my brother never liked him and ignored him whenever he came to see his neighbors. I was surprised when my brother saw his picture on the front page of the newspaper and exclaimed ‘I know this guy now, he was my neighbor, we used to play games together.’ We would have ignored it if my brother didn’t call him up, congratulating him and asking that they hang out and even started telling everyone who cared to listen stories of their days in the University together. It took the combined yabbing of everyone in the family for him to stop his famzing and admit that they were just neighbors.

The truth is claiming relationships or ‘famzing’, as we Nigerians call it, is a natural human phenomenon. Even the Bible says ‘the rich hath many friends and even the brother of the poor do hate him.’ No disrespect to people who claim relationships, as proximity to success can create the feeling of success.

On the flip side, we could decide to do everything we can to make something out of ourselves. My father, of blessed memory, used to say ‘Don’t struggle to belong, struggle to become because once you become, you automatically belong’. We should hone our skills, pay the price and do everything right and honest to get to the top and then, once at the top, rather than famz others, people will famz us.

In addition to hard (smart) work, we should have our money work for us. I recently attended an event where the first personalized online stockbroking platform was launched (I think it’s called the Meritrade platform- you guys can Google it). Lucky winners of a raffle were given 50,000 Naira to start trading on the Nigerian Stock Exchange and from the speeches and fact books given at the event, it seems with a start up capital of N50,000, individuals can sign up to the platform and buy, sell and monitor stocks anytime, anywhere.

It got me thinking that a lot of these opportunities exist, one could purchase land in Estates with monthly installments as little as N25,000, not up to the cost of some of our designer shoes and in 1-2 years become a landlord.

Our lives and indeed our money is in our hands and we owe it to ourselves to make the best out of it. Paraphrasing the Richest man in Babylon ‘The journey to wealth begins when you realize that a part of all you earn is yours to keep and indeed invest’.

I urge you to take a step towards making yourself successful, study, make the first move, do whatever is necessary and when the money comes, invest wisely and make sure your money works for you.

And when you finally get to the top, enjoy the view and smile when random people start telling you that ‘their father’s sister’s uncle’s aunty and your mum are friends’. Guys, you can even go Olamide on the girls who dumped you in the past ( ‘Ya go lona, shey mo jo Yemi my lover ni?’), it’s your call, you’ve earned it and the famzing that accompanies success.

Everything else is Crinkum Crankum.

Photo Credit:
Peculiar Okafor is a marketing communications executive and loves to write. Visit her blog to read her stories.

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook ''


  1. Dr. N

    March 14, 2014 at 10:58 am

    I like the way u drew attention to a serious topic using “famzing”. Nice tactic.

  2. Tosin

    March 14, 2014 at 11:12 am

    effective piece.
    and i like this: ‘Don’t struggle to belong, struggle to become because once you become, you automatically belong’.

    • Asake-Okin

      March 15, 2014 at 7:52 am

      Dont Struggle to belong ; Struggle to become # words

  3. S!

    March 14, 2014 at 11:17 am

    A very Peculiar name!


    March 14, 2014 at 11:31 am

    Spot On.
    Lol @ “love me when I’m wrong not when i am rich….” . My friend is always singing that song and I thought she formed it herself. Lol.
    Thanks for pointing out the Enugu state and Chiwetel ‘ish’. I cringed for Enugu state when I first saw the page congratulating him.
    You’ve given me food for thought this morning, especially as regards buying landed property with monthly installments. Some of us wait till we have it big before we begin to invest.

  5. T.I.

    March 14, 2014 at 11:55 am

    ha! so I wasn’t the only one who cringed for Enugu’s message. My friends almost shut me down for it, I thot I was saying/thinking something odd. Nigerians are major famzers hahaa

  6. laide

    March 14, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    very lovely article, the last line got me laughing out loud. I love uncle Patrick.

  7. Chee

    March 14, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    ….Bello hall,guess you’re a lioness,was just thinking about the advice on monthly savings before I read this,will put your advice to good use….many thanks!

  8. Ena

    March 14, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Crinkum, Crankum…lol…nice write up. my takeout: struggle to become and you’ll automatically belong!

  9. Berry Dakara

    March 14, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    All I’m saying is that I know someone who used to know Lupita Nyongo.

    Lol, okay, I’m kidding (I’m really not, but that’s neither here nor there). I’m intrigued by the “N50k to start trading on the NSE?” Hmmm. That’s doable, but I fear losing everything and I’m not sure how the stock market works. Can you write about how to start investing in the stock market?

  10. Shazy

    March 14, 2014 at 1:00 pm


  11. @edDREAMZ

    March 14, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    Hey madam peculier, yu tried… Ok clap for urself…..

  12. Miss_Flygerian

    March 14, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    That Enugu state congratulatory message is what I call “Famzing level 1000”.

  13. Burrito Boyz

    March 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    Memory Verse of the day:”Don’t struggle to belong, struggle to become because once you become, you automatically belong”…..Spot On!

  14. MyDamnComment

    March 14, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    Everyone wants to be associated with greatness, it’s how the world works. Your father was a wise man.

  15. ivie

    March 14, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    Nice take home for the day “don’t struggle to Belong, struggle to become,” hmm food for thoughts daily. Thanks poster! More grace,more words of wisdom I pray.

  16. X- Factor

    March 14, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    Wooowwww!!!!…..Excellent Piece!

  17. Peculiar Okafor

    March 14, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    Thanks all, @ Berry, you can google the Meritrade platform, I’m sure you’ll find useful information and possibly a contact person.

  18. Tru

    March 14, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    Your name isn’t really “Peculiar” …is it?

    • ozyy

      March 15, 2014 at 6:35 pm

      people have that as a name. Haven’t you heard of happiness as a name?

  19. Asake-Okin

    March 15, 2014 at 7:52 am

    Dont Struggle to belong ; Struggle to become # words

  20. Qoute

    March 15, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    ‘Don’t struggle to belong, struggle to become because once you become, you automatically belong’. Hmmmm!

    • Quote

      March 15, 2014 at 6:08 pm


  21. essy

    March 15, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    Please how can you purchase landed property in installment in naija?can you shed more light on that?Very nice article !

  22. Dearie

    March 15, 2014 at 8:21 pm

    @ Tru, Peculiar is a real name o! My uncle’s driver’s son is ‘Arsenal of God’. No I’m not joking.

    • Tru

      March 15, 2014 at 10:54 pm

      😀 😀 😀 LAAAAAAWWWWWDDDD have mercy

  23. Frances Okoro

    March 16, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    I loved tis. indeed, success has many brothers and sisters, and failure is an orphan and a bastard.
    thanks for the tips, the solution is to work hard…and famz no one, others will famz you when you get there, so no time to lay about.

  24. RightSaidFrred

    March 26, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    Well said, said Right said Frred.

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