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Peculiar Okafor: The Slim Also Sweat

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Just when we think we can move on from Lupita and Chiwetel,they manage to come up again. Chiwetel is rumored to be top choice to play villian in the new James Bond movie; and Lupita becoming the new face of Lancome with Jay-Z ‘famzing’ her. He may be one of the richest entertainers married to one of the hottest women, but that rap line about Lupita was pure ‘famzing’. Now back to my gist before the fans of Jay-Z and Beyonce (shouldn’t they have a name now like Jay-B, Beyonjay) finish me. I still remember Lupita’s speech about having difficulties coming to terms with her skin colour and this reminds me of what lots of healthy endowed females (no one calls them fat anymore) say about being having to deal with the challenges of being fat.

As someone who is fair, tall and slim (you should see me, I look like an international model), I feel I should speak up because this whining is becoming too much. I’ll ignore the complexion bit because I figure the songs by various Nigerians saying black is beautiful should be enough to build your esteem. I’ll talk about the cons of being slim:

You have to endure digs growing up. Ever wondered why model-looking females have sharp tongues? It’s because we were called a lot of names from Pencil to Broom; when the term ‘Lepa’ came out and people had to differentiate between ‘Shandy’ and ‘Fiber’! My people, that time wasn’t easy. And to defend ourselves, we learnt to respond with witty and sharp retorts.

Adolescence was a trying time; I attended a military school in Lagos and the boys always talked about girls and their butt sizes. The skinny ones like me who weren’t endowed had to sit through a lot of jokes about the various body shapes and pretend that the fact that they didn’t have that much wasn’t painful.

Guys who ask you out want a fantasy. When I was in the University, the surest way not to get my number was to ask me if I was a model because then it just seemed the guys just wanted what they thought you were – a model. The fantasy of what they thought you were was appealing to all sorts, especially the egoistic ones who just wanted a trophy.

You look like a student years after graduation. I know this is supposed to be a good thing but it’s really annoying when you’re a professional like me who always gets questions like ‘So what school are you in?’.
It has taken lots of research as well as trial and error to get a look that doesn’t get the clients thinking you’re an intern or management trainee.

Nigerian men love endowed women. Yes, you read right, Naija men love their women ‘gifted’ though most of them won’t agree as it isn’t socially correct to admit you love a woman who is above size 8. But watch the way they drool over Kim Kardashian, Beyonce and Nicky Minaj, then you’ll know what they really like. Most slim girls have had boyfriends who jokingly said to them ‘ I love your figure but I wish you’d add a little weight’. In fact the most annoying one are those boyfriends who date you with hopes that you’d add weight after childbirth.

If you still aren’t convinced that slim girls have their own pain, how do you think we feel when we listen to Timaya’s Ukwu. I say listen because watching it can make a slim teenager struggling with her identity do anything to add weight. Lots of songs extolling endowed women abound and slim girls have to dance to them at clubs.

I won’t mention how annoying it is when older women advice you to eat a little bit more so you can add a bit of weight in order to have a smooth pregnancy and delivery – like you are actually watching your weight. Or should we talk about the fact that people assume you are shallow, rude or a snob because of how you look?

If these points above sound baseless to you then you get my drift, all these complaints about what we face because of our height, weight, complexion e.t.c should just stop. I’m not saying they don’t exist; I’m saying everything has its good and bad sides, and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I’ve experienced all the points listed above in addition to others not listed but that’s just life. The rich also cry, just as the poor have their seasons of laughter. The slim sweat and I guess the fleshy ones feel cold atimes.

Love yourself, embrace your body and everything about you cos NO ONE can make you feel inferior without your permission. If there’s something about you that needs to change, then work on it, but love yourself because YOU are just the way God intended for you to be and those feelings of insecurity are just Crinkum Crankum.

Photo Credit: glamour.com
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Peculiar Okafor is a marketing communications executive and loves to write. Visit her blog ‘www.designersuitcases.blogspot.com‘ to read her stories.

Peculiar is a Marketing communications personnel, she believes that one can have a full life without being bitchy and she wants it all 'A good career, love, laughter, wealth, you name it. She blogs at www.daworkdiva.blogspot.com.ng.. Follow her on Instagram @daworkdiva and Facebook 'www.facebook.com/Daworkdiva'

24 Comments

  1. www.ANEMISTYLE.com

    April 10, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Lovely post. I have been on both sides of the scale and I got more jibes when I was slimmer, from my grandma saying I wasn’t pretty anymore to having a fight with my mom before my wedding because she felt I did not have enough flesh( I was stuffing my face but could not gain weight because I was stressed) . I have just grown to ignore ALL and be comfortable in my skin and most importantly be fit and healthy.

  2. ade......

    April 10, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    I have been there…. i am 24 but i look like am 18 however i am on d averagely tall side and let no one tell me its a good thing cos in my uni where am studying for a second degree peeps find it hard to believe when i tell them i have been to a uni before they just laugh like i just made some kind of bovish joke…..even though i get the *you are sexy compliment* no one has an idea of how much low self esteem am suffering from…

    P.s- i have eating anything you can think of to make you add weight, i av taking a month vacay to just eat and sleep and eat and sleep all to no avail…i am so tired God knows

    • iyke

      April 10, 2014 at 1:05 pm

      You are an ectomorph. Your body type rarely add weight no matter how much they eat because they have very high metabolism. The weight loss focus is geared towards Mesomorphs and endomorphs.

    • Mfon

      April 10, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      Ade, I wish I were you, I used to be really slim, buh now am fat and I can’t shake it off, am 25 and people think am 30

  3. SMILE

    April 10, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    I am smallish (did i add the fact that i am 30 but i look like 18 or something)and that’ s the worse cos pple take you for a little girl all the time and i can’t stand it but i don’t allow folks to get to me cos this is how God made me and nobody can change it. It’s my body and i love it that way

  4. iyke

    April 10, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    I honestly don’t want to be someone who goes around adding to a person’s real problems by pointing out their inconsequential ones. If you are big, Yes, THAT IS YOUR BODY, WE MUST DEAL WITH IT. However, YOU are not just the way God intended for you to be. When God created you, he left a lush land full of natural vegetation, protein and nuts for your own use. You chose to eat all the processed food, turned your stomach into an acidic dumping pit, allowed the stress of life to overwhelm you…grew fat and now have to play the victim and settle for ‘Am embracing the way I am’…That’s not the way you are girl, that is DEFEAT and you know it.
    Love yourself YES, but get your butt up,eat right and shed those weights. Sasha lost weight and everybody is commenting how gorgeous she looks. If she can make it, what is stopping you? This is tough love folks, If you falter in the course of this, Rise! Go back to the cave man diet, eat all natural, and watch yourself get back to the image of Jehova.
    My sister and few of her friends used to say ‘THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT.”…. They weren’t expected to be thin but to eat smart,healthy and exercise. I introduced them to their GREENS, 6 months after, she’s singing a new song. She’s not thin but you could see the difference and guess what, She’s not going back.
    Change your thinking, eat healthy, exercise and you will change your life for it is when you strive for greatness that great things happen. Always NEVER SETTLE!
    I am not going to be a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of myself with some twenty-two-year-old unilag undergraduate, just because I failed to look after myself. I have no excuses, so should you.

  5. Mfon

    April 10, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Ade, I wish I were you, I used to be really slim, buh now am fat and I can’t shake it off, am 25 and people think am 30

  6. gucci

    April 10, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Different strokes for different folks. Slim, fat, Black, white, you are beautiful Nd precious and there can neva be anoda u cos u are special and unique in a way dat only u can be. Embrace it.Xoxo

  7. Temmy

    April 10, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Very very interesting post. Funny how life is…I’ve always been a “lepa” & you get people advising you to eat well. I remember my GrandMa buying me supplements to deliver from been too skinny (her dislike) now I’ve added a bit and my tummy is not as flat as it used to be. What I now get is try and work on your tummy! Annoying though but I love ME regardless of my size and shape.

  8. boros

    April 10, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    “As someone who is fair, tall and slim (you should see me, I look like an international model)”
    cocky much?

    • Her

      April 10, 2014 at 1:55 pm

      ohh shut up.

    • bella's boo

      April 11, 2014 at 7:38 am

      Nah, you shut up!

    • Superwoman

      April 10, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      relax joor…can’t you get her “playful vibe”? in that statement ?

    • Hian!

      April 10, 2014 at 3:11 pm

      which playful vibe?

    • Hey

      April 10, 2014 at 3:10 pm

      as in ehn!

  9. so true

    April 10, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Ur article is so on point,we hv bin tru a lot as slim girls.Am 25 years but I wear a size 4 or 6,tank God am fine cos my life would hv bin miserable.Evrybody kips saying I shld add weight naw,even my bf,I’ve had to vex for me naw he has stopped.Naw I appreciate myself o as d weight has refused to come,I dnt even want it again,I just focus on being healthy and fresh.I’ve accepted my fate and am njoyn evry bit of it cos I won’t allow pples opinon define me but trust me wen ure young its not funny wen ure skinny,ull hear guys say ure so flat,nutin in front nutin at d back but wen u c ur mates who were endowed back den nd are naw over over endowed ull tank ur stars dat ure skinny.Naw being skinny is one thing I tank God for evryday,its a gift

  10. Neo

    April 10, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    Ah! I have done it all to gain weight, from taking Super Appetit which just made me a useless zombie for the one day i took it to drinking malt and milk. Till the day i gave it all up and decided to love my body for what it is and be comfortable in my own skin. Now because i eat salads (which i just loooove) and going to the gym for cardio I am “anorexic” and obsessed with my body. Nothing annoys me more than the people who say “Wait till you have kids, you will get fat.” Everything starts with a decision, shay awon Victoria Beckham and co have 2 heads? Is it not proper diet and working out that gets them back in shape? If it is important to you to look a certain way or be healthy then you should also be willing to do what it takes to look that way. I am a size 8 and i have vowed never to let myself get bigger than a 10, the minute i see it happening i am willing to exist on celery stalks and relocate to the gym. Love your body is all well and good but you can only love what makes you feel good.

  11. itsbenGod

    April 10, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    by opinion,we should just try to be in shape whether slim or on the plumpy side, just be in shape, exercise avoid storage of fats by exercising and eat healthy food, lastly embrace who you are, its the way you carry yourself that matters

  12. @edDREAMZ

    April 10, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    U try clap for urself…..
    .
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

  13. Zee

    April 10, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    You are so on point. I can relate to everything you listed there. I turned 23 early January, graduated last year and I look 16! People even mistake me for a secondary school girl. am 5’10, fair skinned and very beautiful(permit my vanity) but until I accepted my skinny self , i was very ashamed of my self. I wouldnt talk in public, was always scared of being called out ,ashamed of relating with others and having to deal with the envious remarks of my pot bellied friends just because i am skinny.. I have also met guys who wish i had more flesh to date me and the ones who related with me because I “look” like a model.LOL
    As i type i remember an ex who always pressured me to gain flesh, I also remember an ex who adored ,spoilt and also warned me to always exercise to remain skinny. I remember how I let my “problem” depress me to the extent I considered taking drugs just to gain weight. A friend of mine found out.To her, I was perfect until she found out i wasnt proud of my body. She thought I was crazy.
    Funny enough I don’t starve. I hardly gain weight but easily lose the little I have when am under pressure. As my relationship with God blossomed, I got more confident.
    Today you cant tell me NADA!! Am perfectly beautiful-NO IFs or MAYBEs! I know with time i will gain more flesh but I have become so obsessed with my self that I dont know how much weight I can allow. I model occasionally when I have the time and opportunuity and intimidate my fat friends when we go for a swim. LOL!
    To me every girl is beautiful.. No time for competition. Fat or slim,you are beautiful.. God wey create lekpa na Him still create orobo..lol

  14. El patron medellin cartel

    April 10, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    @6’4” 213lbs and bulked like an NFL player..skinny wouldn’t work with my frame! But Right About now, am colour,weight or height blind! Enjoying all while it last! No matter how you look, you will see your own! Na so life be!

    • Eve82

      April 11, 2014 at 7:19 am

      For a minute I thought you were a lady…lol!

  15. Nana

    April 10, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    my dad and siblings actually made fun of me cus of my weight…..my dad goes “u eat everything in ur plate and ur siblings leftovers and i cant see any flesh in u” (on my siblings leftovers part, that is soooo true, i can eat and clean plate). i am boobless, but i God blessed me in the “behind factory”. i think the it got worse in college, i dont go home for any breaks, though my grandma always try to make me feel better by telling me that i took after my mom. isorai ooo….

  16. Modella

    April 11, 2014 at 9:59 am

    Awwwww

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