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Isio Knows Better: Things I Dislike For No Logical Reason

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I sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, but I do confess that I know better than I did yesterday, last year and a decade ago.

Isio Knows Better is an attempt to capture the shocking and highly entertaining conversation within myself. The conversations between my mind (the sharp witty one), my soul (the lover and the spiritual one) and my body (the playful one concerned with the more mundane things of life). She is the eternal referee between the caustic mind and the sensitive soul. This is Isio. So, here’s to making private conversations public.

Enjoy!

***
Perhaps because this was the week of my late dad’s burial, I started thinking about his many words to me when he was alive. Don’t worry, this is a fun article. It is not dark, depressing or bleak. My father was an original Deltan; a funny and witty man. One day, I would give you the gist of how my dad acted like an angry mute to get out of a neighboring village rebels’ capture. He was caught riding his bicycle to school through the land both villages were fighting over; and how they horrifyingly sent him away before he spoilt their market.

Hehheheee, funny stuff!

Anyway, so there I was… I don chop starch and owifigbo soup finish, belle con sweet me well-well.

You see, my father taught me that it is important that you know yourself – every good, bad and ugly thing about yourself. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. That was what I was trying to do. But, my mind would rather nag me about the caloric consequences of the owofigbo, periwinkle and fresh fish with cow tail that I just consumed. See me see wahala o! So I no fit con chop beta food again, shuo?!
I internalized the questions and asked her again. But she was on a roll. Please please, how can I come to the village and eat grass (aka salad). I told her to look around, that that was what the goats and cows outside were eating.

[She (my mind) laughed mischievously as she passed her reply through my consciousness and munched on her imaginary carrot.]
‘‘I don’t know, ask your ex-boyfriends, I am sure they would have some things to say about that…’’. (She smirked) And if we are being brutally honest, you can start by being honest yourself and admit that you don’t like it when a guy opens your fridge and eats all your food without asking–‘’

I was so aghast she said this out loud, I retorted sharply, ‘‘my friend, sharrap! What is that?! Do you think I care about food that much? Besides, that is not a weakness, but a simple dislike. Nonsense.’’

*Yimu! Of course you care about your ‘special’ food. Admit it. You don’t like it when they just waltz into your house like they are the king of your castle and just start chomping on your food and drinking your wines without asking. It annoys you, but of course you are too polite to actually say anything.

Touché.

She clicked her tongue at me then she said, ‘‘Okay, I know this is important to you, but how about we play another game instead, huh? Let’s be honest, and put to words your ‘‘dislikes’’. Things you don’t like for no apparent reason. Everyone has some. Admit that first, before we go further’’.

Okay deal.

…And then there was silence in the land while I searched my heart for things I knew I really disliked, some for no logical reason. And this is what I found…

No. 1 – That Thing Called Agbalumo

I loved and ate agbalumo so much as a child that it’s only fair that I now thoroughly dislike it as an adult. On that day, I looked at my tiny hands stained with agbalumo juice and I did not like the me that I saw. It was little wonder, I was on my 22nd agbalumo of the day, and it was just past noon. I threw away all the remaining agbalumo in my school bag away in disgust. I have hated it ever since. Poor fruit.

No. 2 – Incessant Horn-Honking (a.k.a ‘horning’)

Okay, there a logical reason why this bothers me. Incessant horning seems to be a hobby for many Lagos drivers. Horning anyhow like it’s a symphony of mad music. It’s pollution I tell you, and harassment.

No. 3 – Coffee

I really wish I loved coffee, but it’s just a taste I never acquired. The smell just bothers me so much. It’s too strong, and I find the taste so overwhelming. I have been a tea connoisseur for years and have to have at least three cups daily. I am told I should try something called Frappuccino. If it is as good as they say, well… we will see about that.

No. 4 – Bread and Stew

Tahhhhhhh! Bread and stew… That combination is an insult. An insult to bakers, cooks and everything. Such lazy food. Haba! Aunty and bros, dignify your frying pan and just break an egg in that stew and you at least have egg-stew. Please, ‘stew’ is not a befitting companion to bread jo. Seeing someone eat bread and stew is as bothersome as seeing someone eat jollof rice from a cup. Ewwwwwww! Oghene biko o!

No. 5 – Saliva and Sweat

Walahi talai, su mo bi lai, this really bothers me, a lot. I can’t explain it. I often get asked how I feel about kissing and to be honest, I don’t mind kissing as long as you don’t use it as an excuse to baptize me with your saliva. Apparently, as a female, I’m supposed to be all kissy-kissy but I am NOT a wet ‘kissy-kissy’ person. Deep love + passion = kiss. Anything less, NO DEAL. Oga no vex. I will manage your brain like that. Do you know how many micro-organisms are in a drop of saliva? That foamy thing! Tahhhh! What toothpaste do you even use sef?! And that whole tongue business, some people just take it too far by slicing their tongue through your lips and wrench apart your teeth like it’s a pulsating sword. Some would even attempt to suck out your oesophagus; others will attempt to suck out your soul. Others will leave your cheeks and jaws wet.

Yuck Yuck Yuck.

And sweat. Ugh. Once I knew someone who used to sweat while he slept. Ahan. Na wa for you o! Are you fighting spiritual battles in your sleep? Dem no get hankerchief for your dream? Hian. Biko no near me o. Go baff first.

No. 6 – Fat Dodo

I mean if you are going to eat fried plantain, you might as well go all the way and dice them or slice them in decent sizes and fry the thing. Some people would cut one plantain into two or three or four ugly lumps then fry it and then decide to eat it. Except that it is brown on the outside and the inside is yellow and undone. It’s like eating something that looks like dodo but is kpete-kpete in your mouth like overripe yellow banana. Ayama. Decent dodo for me is no more than half a centimeter thick and about 6 centimeters long. That whole cutting dodo like a dead goat’s roasted tongue is just traumatizing abeg.

*chuckles*

Okay, okay. Now I have done my own. It’s your turn. We all have pet-peeves. Things you just can’t stand even though you can’t explain it. Things you dislike for no logical reason. Wikipedia describes this as a minor annoyance that an individual finds particularly annoying to themselves, to a greater degree than others may find it.

Have a fabulous Tuesday everyone!

______________________________________________________________________________________________
Isio Wanogho is a top-model, TV Personality and entrepreneur. She is conversant in five languages and has 12 years of experience in the Nigerian entertainment industry. Isio, popularly known by her brand name Isio De-laVega, captivates audiences with her signature wide smile and relatable, quirky personality which endears her to many. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @isiodelavega

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

140 Comments

  1. Tiki

    May 27, 2014 at 10:46 am

    loooool, first! do we still do that here?

    I totally agree with that fat-dodo one, and the sweat and saliva thing!

  2. Dee

    May 27, 2014 at 11:03 am

    i just dont like Rap songs….for no reason
    i can never like yoghurt and toast bread…dunno what is enjoyable there…
    lastly, dull folks*cantstandit*

  3. Seun Tuyo

    May 27, 2014 at 11:09 am

    During mass, people will use their hands for all sorts – nose poking, scratching, wiping and come and expect me to share peace with them #PeaceOfTheLordThings….Nah nah a waive will do.

    • Thatgidigirl

      May 27, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      @seun, u’re unwell!!! lmao!

    • whyisitrequired

      May 27, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      lmao @ Seun, hope you go for confession every Saturday for thinking bad things during mass.

    • Jedidiah

      May 27, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      looooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllll!i feel u

    • fifi

      May 27, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      I totally get you. Things we do for peace

    • Cee

      May 28, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Rotflmao!! Love your neighbor. Hahahahaha.

  4. Jane

    May 27, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Comon, What exactly is this supposed to be? If you don’t have any material, don’t post anything.

    • MizImani

      May 27, 2014 at 11:45 am

      This! This right here, annoys me. If you don’t have anything nice to say, just walk away. No need to put someone down (to make yourself feel better?). Smh

    • Tru

      May 27, 2014 at 12:51 pm

      Nne, thank you. It never ceases to amaze me on how superior and vitriolic us humans can be.
      Isio, hugs to you on your loss. Thanks for still making us BellaNigerians smile

    • Bleed Blue

      May 27, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      Haba Jane, why so harsh na? Isio…may I?

      In answer to “what exactly is this supposed to be?”, I think you should read her intro again.

      And this, my dear Jane, is most definitely “material”. She doesn’t always have to discuss poignant or critical issues…we are afterall on a lifestyle blog.

      So feel free to classify this either as a human interest piece, or an opinion piece but yeah, it is “material” and it was worth posting as it put a smile on my face jare (and several others judging by comments).

    • ThejoyoftheLORDismystrength

      May 27, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      Chill dearest, its not that deep…have fun, its just for laughs!!!! :)….come to think of it, maybe you just found one of your pet-peeves….cheers!!!!!

  5. sum1special

    May 27, 2014 at 11:15 am

    My pet peeve definitely is BO (Body Odour) and mouth odour. These two i cant stand. Like why are people not concerned about their hygiene and then when you have to be around people a lot. Common it is offensive. Then the honking unnecessarily. I swear if you are driving at my back and you honk at me for no reason. I promise to make it even worse. What nonsense?

  6. Simsi

    May 27, 2014 at 11:21 am

    Oh my God. I couldn’t stop laughing as I was reading this artice. As for the things I dislike… I do not like it when people put their hand into my food without asking me. It spoils my appetite. Or taking my stuffs without asking me pisses me off. I don’t do that to people so I do no appreciate it when people do it to me. I don’t understand the logic behind putting bread into tea. Its really digusting. I like bread and stew tho. I prefer that to bread and egg. That’s all I can remember for now.

    • Kitelicious

      May 27, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      I feel like I just wrote this! we are kindred spirit lol!

  7. www.ANEMISTYLE.com

    May 27, 2014 at 11:22 am

    Ha nice post. I agree with your incessant horn honking gosh it is annoying! My Top 5 are

    1, Spitting in public- Gross! My mom Antiguan friend was visiting Nig and saw a man defecting by the road and screamed- YOU DURTY DURTY MANN. Too funny
    2, Dipping bread in hot cocoa- Makes me throw up the consistency is just too mushy for words
    3, Body Odour- Lord have mercy
    4, People that are too handsy- Don’t they understand personal space
    5, Fufu, pounded yam, starch- Lived in Nig for 18yrs never tried them don’t intend to, again the consistence is just too smooth for my liking ha!

  8. Cool N the Gang #Sucker4oldschoolmusic

    May 27, 2014 at 11:23 am

    LMAO! this Isio will not kee person with laff abeg! hehehehehohoho
    anyway for me i dislike over ripe fried plantain! that thing is just disgusting to me.
    and i HATE it when people touch me unnecessarily or to feel someone’s body close to me when i am sleeping or skin contact it creeps me the hell out! urrghhhh!!! infact people think i’m weird maybe i was abused when i was young or something….but that is not the case. i just don’t like it. i nor fit explain

    • esteelauder

      May 27, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      Chai, this is me, that ‘touching body something’, can’t stand it. over ripe plantain, i might as well eat porridge rather that fried overripe plantain.

    • itsjusme

      May 28, 2014 at 12:42 am

      me 3!!!

  9. olajumoke

    May 27, 2014 at 11:25 am

    I cannot tolerate people who have no emotional intelligence whatsoever and also if you put cabin biscuit inside a glass of milk..i honestly dont like it..

  10. Adwoa

    May 27, 2014 at 11:26 am

    please help us the non-nigerian readers like myself, what is agbalumo?

    • Flemzy

      May 27, 2014 at 11:47 am

      It’s otherwise called ‘odara’, some ppl call it ‘cherry’ but am so not sure of the English name.

    • Helen N.

      May 27, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      You just said the English name “Cherry”.. It’s a fruit.

    • niyoola

      May 27, 2014 at 12:24 pm

      African star fruit.

    • Ms_oyinkansola

      May 27, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      African cherry a.k.a African star apple/ White star apple.

  11. amara

    May 27, 2014 at 11:28 am

    people coming over without asking, people coming in and opening everywhere and everything – fridge, closet, doors etc, people talking to me while im reading, mayonnaise, jam, sharwama, okro soup, ants, cereal, eba, pap, reggae, unpadded bra, my almost bald front hair and pizza

    • mama

      May 27, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      lol….amara u are boring abeg

    • amara

      May 27, 2014 at 2:01 pm

      lol pecs, wet me up

    • TA

      May 27, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      Yes,yes,Please don’t talk to me when am reading. Thank you

    • Bliss

      May 28, 2014 at 2:02 am

      Hmmmm amara!! U seeef!! Your own na level!!

    • Nat

      May 30, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      Haba sis! only you!!! What do you like then?? looool

    • Pretty

      May 30, 2014 at 6:42 pm

      How you go hate sharwarma? You need deliverance.

  12. Fashionista

    May 27, 2014 at 11:33 am

    ahhhhhh Isio!!!!! I loooove bread and stew!!!! Omo men, especially when the bread is gbigbona (hot) Agege bread, kai!
    As for wet kisses, yes that is a terrible no no for me! I find it highly disgusting, I shudder when I remember my experiences. Thank God the best kisses of my life have been very recent, so they can banish the thoughts of the wet ones, ewww!

  13. mally

    May 27, 2014 at 11:43 am

    YEA, FUNNY ONE, I DISLIKE SECRETARIES WHO THINK THAT THEY ARE THE BOSSES

  14. the generous economist

    May 27, 2014 at 11:51 am

    goshh…I cant stand when people’s armpits touch me when they try to hug me, or put their arms over my shoulders…even when people come to my place, I just stare at them when they slouch their arms over the chair, and imagine how am going to scrub when they are gone

  15. Mide

    May 27, 2014 at 11:55 am

    I am with you on Saliva and Sweat. Sorry I just can’t. Le Boo doesn’t hug me after his morning run. It is one of the things he has has come to accept. I love you darling, but 3 feet away from me please after you’ve hit the road. I’m all yours once you’ve showered and brush your mouth while you are at it. Thank you Sweets. I don’t hug sweaty people too and I have anti bacterial wipes which I use after shaking people with sweaty palms. I clean my palsm with style inside my bag.
    I hate milk. The sight and smell of it. Ugh.
    I hate round dodo. Whyyyyyyyyyyy should dodo be round. Why? I don’t mind it being fat, but NOT round.
    You will not catch me dead eating Saki. I eat all other parts of the cow including the head which is supposed to be more gross, but I will NEVER touch Saki. Creeps me out.
    PDA. Don’t get it at all. Can we just hold hands. That’s okay. No mushy mushy trying to kiss my neck or touch me in public.
    Touching my keyboard and mouse at work or even my laptop keyboard. Ngwanu. Is it ya own. DO I know where your hands have been. If you want to show me something on the computer, please verbally instruct me and don’t bring your paws near my devices.

  16. Person

    May 27, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Ah! Isio, you need to try Mama Adeola’s stew on Dooney’s blog. I promise you’ll never look at bread and stew the same way again! Trust me!!! 🙂 Now onto my own:
    1. Unfamiliar men writing text-speak. This annoys the living daylights out of me. If we don’t know each other well enough, tori Olorun, write full words and sentences. What is ‘ao r u?’, ‘dat was y’, If we know each well, I’ll let it slide. I know it is weird but that is how I am.
    2. Men that say, ‘so tell me about yourself’ on a first date. Is this a job interview or nah? :-/ Bruh, you mean you cannot carry on a proper conversation to find out what you wanna know? That’s the ish I don’t like.
    3. Angel Hair pasta: I don’t care if Gordon Ramsey or Alain Passard themselves cook it. That thing is not going inside my mouth. But I like Indomie 😀
    4. Bananas. Ugh… The sliminess just gives me goosebumps. I cannot eat it. I will have it in my smoothies or pastries tho. Where I can only smell and taste it but that rubbish texture is all gone.
    5. House music. How do people dance to this type of music, fa? They just look like headless chicken running around.

    • Ready

      June 3, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      Yeeees! To #1, 3, and 5. Angel hair pasta….why?!! Who wants extra skinny spaghetti? What purpose does it serve? House music…-___- the blankest stare ever. No rhyme or rhythm, just fast pulsating beats. And to them “Yu mean lyk dis? K” dudes. <_____< The worst side eye ever.

  17. ScarletXianne

    May 27, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    Sloppy kisses or kisses in general, haven’t been kissed in a while. Not sure I’ll still like the tin sef, body odour, strong smelling perfume, seeing people spit makes me want to spit, nose-picking(eeewww). I hate to see full-grown men, or women peeing in public. Like seriously dudes, do I really have to see you do the shake? Just disgusting. Sweaty palms, this might be the reason I did not marry one guy like that. How do I even get intimate with him? If I had married him maybe 6 months later he would have run to my mum to say, “Your daughter has refused to let me touch her”.
    Ehen, and this one – armpit. I don’t like to see armpit, any type.

  18. nastygal

    May 27, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    LMAO i love this article. BN pls keep it coming.
    i hate it when people eat with their mouth open and chew eba
    i hate that honking jeez it drives me nuts. i cant remember other pet peeves right now but am cracking up just reading comments

  19. Funny much

    May 27, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    I broke up with a guy – very handsome n rich guy- because his first kiss left spit all over my mouth! Walai I cudnt believe it loool. i just told him “I’m sorry, you’ll find a better woman.I’m not your type of girl”

  20. simplyjane

    May 27, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    My pet peeves include
    People that are too handsy. I just kent. Abi dem send you. I don’t like people who use the guise of being friendly to hug or touch anyhow!
    2. The clicking sound made when one is trying to remove stuck particles of food from the teeth. I just can’t stand it. It irritates me to no end!!!
    3. Digging your nose in public. Ewwwwww
    4. Yawning with your mouth wide open in public? Naijans sef de try. Oinbos are something else
    5. Eating with your mouth open…Jesu!
    I could go on and on but make i control myself. lol

  21. HappyGirlie

    May 27, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    And sweat. Ugh. Once I knew someone who used to sweat while he slept. Ahan. Na wa for you o! Are you fighting spiritual battles in your sleep? Dem no get hankerchief for your dream? Hian. Biko no near me o. Go baff first.

    OMG! Toooo funnny!
    ROTFLMO!!!!!

    • ola

      May 27, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      Looool dis is so funny ( fighting spiritual battles)

    • www.ANEMISTYLE.com

      May 27, 2014 at 1:16 pm

      ok this had me laughing out loud, Spiritual Battle!

    • Vee

      May 27, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      LMAO! This is hilarious! Was laughing out loudly at my desk, my colleague heard and joined in laughing and he had no idea why i was laughing LOL #LaughingFrenzy

  22. Nanya

    May 27, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    “slicing their tongue through your lips and wrench apart your teeth like it’s a pulsating sword. Some would even attempt to suck out your oesophagus; others will attempt to suck out your soul. Others will leave your cheeks and jaws wet” LMAO….. and those ones that bite nko…..Me I have plenty oh, I hate ripe plantain whatever way boiled, dodo, boli I no want, then that squeaky clean sound when washing a glass cup or plate or cleaning an glass material irritates me (like goose bumps irritating), I hate it when ppl carry towels as accessories or to clean their River Niger sweats……………if I go on mehnnnnn no be today things

  23. Iyke

    May 27, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    I have quite a few that I dislike…I think I have reasons for disliking them though…..
    * I hate Akamu – (Pap)..Why? I honestly don’t know.My mom couldn’t stop forcing it on me as a kid, especially without milk. lol
    *Am an introvert and I don’t do phone. I hate the phone.I can let the phone ring without picking up. I own a cell phone but don’t give out the number. The only people I willingly talk with on the phone are far-flung friends, and only because I know it’s necessary to keep those friendships healthy. The intrusiveness of the phone and the trapped feeling drives me mad. I love seeing friends face-to-face and find it rude and disrespectful when you have to keep glancing at your phone while in a conversation with me.
    *Blatant disrepect of Time….. Please show up on time!Connecting in advance of your absence suggests you care about my feelings and my first impression of you.
    *If you hear me say, “Ms. …….., your input in our discussion the last time, made it better than it would have been without you,” know this: I was indeed impressed. Be THAT lady.
    *Saying good-bye is heartbreaking, and most of us are total jerks about it. If you must break up with me, do it face to face and with dignity instead of acting dumb, cruel and cowardly…I dislike it. If your feelings or needs have changed, your dreams diverged, or our lives are going in opposite directions, don’t provoke me into doing the breakup. Be honest and take full responsibility for initiating the breakup.

    • Commentrina

      May 27, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      Iyke abeg read the memo. Aren’t we looking for quirks and oddities?

      This your own list is very mainstream. Aside from maybe the Ogi, everything else you said is standard for everybody na. Shuo!

    • iyke

      May 27, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      no vex lol

    • emma

      July 1, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      Iyke pele
      are you my twin or what?

  24. Oluwaseyi

    May 27, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Hilarious! I did a write up on Pet peeves for BusinessDay Sunday, you can check it out on my blog concretecarpet.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/pet-peeves/

  25. Berries

    May 27, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    Gosh..i cant stop laughing…Isio this is hilarious. I CANT STAND BO N MO(MOUTH N BODY ODOUR). i hate dirty dirty finger nails..long ones at that from guys esp. why cant you just cut your nails and keep them clean??? As for wet kisses..i haven’t been there.. ewww.. Fat Dodo is another one that makes me sick. …lol

  26. Helen N.

    May 27, 2014 at 12:45 pm

    I dont like when people chew gum and make funny sounds with it.. it puts me off totally.

  27. Modey

    May 27, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Loool!! Things I dislike for no logical reason.
    Catfish
    Plantain in all forms (dodo, boli, kpekere etc)
    Bread and stew. (I agree with you Isio. This combination is an insult to all bakers and pastry chefs out there.)
    Akamu/Ogi
    Sushi
    Chocolate
    Typing in shorthand. (Like, how many nanoseconds did you save from typing in such ridiculous and incomprehensible shit?)
    Knocking rudely. (Trust me, I believe there is a polite and rude way of knocking. I classify loud and a single tap on my door as rude.)
    Church people disturbing me at home (Jehovah’s Witnesses, make una free me mbok!)
    People stopping me at public places/malls to check out their mixtapes and donate to them. (Na God go judge and punish una one day.)

  28. Thatgidigirl

    May 27, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    Don’t mix soups! eat either egusi or ogobono my friend, its a clear sign of confusion and absence of contentment in a person’s life. Infact a man or woman that mixes soup would cheat!

    • Bleed Blue

      May 27, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      DEEP!

    • Duchess

      May 27, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      u harsh o. A woman that mixes soup nko?

    • D'Mamma

      May 28, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      Lol! Really deep. New research direction.

    • Nat

      May 30, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      looooooooooooooooooool.
      Go to Calabar and see people mixing afang, melon, draw. Infact the first time I heard someone order that, I though I was having a bad dream. The bros just sat down and faced his business o. Why people will do that is still a wonder to me. When I thought I had seen it all, I went to Zaria and see people eating rice and chips!! I can’t abeg!!! kai

  29. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    May 27, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    In no order of importance:
    1. Uncapped biros.
    2. Jeans that wont fit.
    3. Girl talk.
    4. Guys that cant dance.
    5. Abbreviated words. (This girl I once planned a bridal shower with could abbreviate the word “I”)
    6. A guy trying to sweet talk you in improper English (e.g. You look depress. Are you having swinging mood?)
    7. Danfo drivers that play Pasuma, Obesere etc. at the loudest volume in Lagos “hold up”.
    8. Perfumes that have the ability to wake the dead.
    9. Old boyfriends who look really great.
    10. People who say “my dear” with every other word.

    • Happy Child

      May 27, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      where have you been?

    • Bleed Blue

      May 27, 2014 at 3:52 pm

      I second that. Where have you been? You’ve been all kinds of missed around here oh.

    • Duchess

      May 27, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      thought I was alone on this @ My dear with every word..
      hate the noisy danfo drivers too

    • Iya

      May 27, 2014 at 3:34 pm

      Hm, my dear! I get you. LMBO!

    • Curious

      May 27, 2014 at 4:02 pm

      I just died @ looking depress and swinging mood! LOOOOOOL! Too funny!

    • Tru

      May 27, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      EL-OH-ELLLLL…Just how in the world do you abbreviate “I”? 😀

    • TA

      May 27, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      I Missed you!

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      May 27, 2014 at 6:56 pm

      I missed you all too. Your comments kept mê in good cheer. It nice to have been missed and its great to be back.

  30. Wale

    May 27, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    Agbalumo-love it to death, I have tried growing in here in Florida several times to know success-darn I will ship a whole tree one day if the customs here would allow it.

    Bread and Stew- are you joking, that is the classic fill-belle food, especially if combined with assorted meat.

    Horning- I think I perfected this art. It annoys the people here, but sometimes it necessary especially when I am home, to chase away the mosquitoes called Okadas.

    Fat “sweet” plantains(dodos)-I live in the capital of dodos-Miami it is a staple here and you get the sweetest fat ones too. Yummy!

  31. Noms

    May 27, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    Oniovo, i sooooooo love bread and stew. Choiii.
    I love owo and starch, any day any time,calories or not.
    Cbin biscuit in a glass of milk….can’t remember the last time i had it. I loved it in my teenage days.
    The horn horking thing is really annoying.
    The wet kiss thingy,i like kissing but the part a guy is trying to force his tongue down my throat, i dun gerrit. Abi na me nor sabi kiss.
    Some of my dislikes;
    Taking my stuff without letting me know,then you’ll say you were going to tell me later or replace it.
    The smell of cigarettes.
    Mouth and body odour.
    I don’t like it when people don’t wash their hands before dipping them in my plate of food…only God knows where those hands have been.
    The fact that a choir is singing off tune and the instruments are louder than the voices….it really gets to me. i nor sabi sing sha buh i like good music(vocals).
    Theses are the ones i can think for now.

  32. sparkle

    May 27, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    hahaha! nice one Isio, and the comments are just funny…
    I hate that screeching sound made by a metal bucket/basin when dragged on the floor, ewww…
    Mouth odour, especially when they keep talking in your face… space please!!
    Sucking on your teeth making that irritating clicking sound when trying to get particles of food stuck in your teeth, please get toothpick na, haba!
    Noisy gum chewing drives me nuts, I would leave the room for you, just let me know when you are done.
    Piled up dirty dishes….abeg nor chop till you get strength to wash after you.
    Fat dodo…abeg nor bother fry na, its just sad!…Lol
    I cant stand handsy guys abeg, can’t you just express yourself without getting your hands all over me.
    I totally dislike bad customer service, some would just be frowning like they saw you in their nightmare last night, shuo if you nor ready to work abeg stay house…
    Finally I cant stand guys that don’t look at your face/eyes when addressing you, but instead focus their nasty eyes on your body, chest most times…na wetin sef, una want take eye naked person??!!

    • Duchess

      May 27, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      on point..

  33. Ms_oyinkansola

    May 27, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    Nails with visible signs of nail biting,putting bread in tea,wont drink that tea with you for a million dollars,dont put the spoon i’m still eating with in your mouth,i don’t share spoons.but sha I love kissing good kissers o,esp when I am attracted to you.Pls don’t drag your feet,i hate hate that screeching sound produced when u scratcg ur fingers against a blackboard and all other things that will produce similar sounds,if my soap or sponge drops in d bathroom the bath ends there. foammy apple,sweety armpits etc LOL!

    • yettyclassy

      September 4, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      I agree with u on d bathroom thing but it depends on the bathroom tho…. if it’s a bathtub I don’t mind picking it up

  34. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com

    May 27, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    Inconsiderate people! – I don’t need a reason for that. I feel over considerate sometimes.
    Barging in on me – what are doors for?
    Poor Customer service – I’m sure everyone else does
    Dirty Hair – why?
    B.O and M.O – but why?
    fufu and vegetable, pounded yam and draw-soups and semo n vegetable – just can’t
    Milk – nauseates me, lactose intolerance
    men wearing socks with native, especially lace – just no for me
    making loud noise when drinking from bottles – just use a cup
    chewing with your mouth open – just turn around and face the wall
    sitting on my bed with just panties – but why me
    leaving leftovers on the sink – just trash it!
    too much oil in soups and stew – i lost my appetite
    sharing my towel – no, please don'[t
    and …………

  35. mrs chidukane

    May 27, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    I have so many pet peeves but one is people commenting online amd writing NEXT! I always feel like fighting the person and have to restrain myself. Also someone with BO sitting near the Window of a bus I’m in with his hand raised.As in,filtering the air entering the bus through his smelly armpits, jeeez

  36. mee

    May 27, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    I hate fake people

    Yall on BN know yourselves. Those with BO and MO odour saying they hate same

    I just hate fake people.

    Jes ken stend em mehn

    🙂

  37. Duchess

    May 27, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    I hate dirty environs, can really put me off
    bad spoken english, another huge turn off
    sweaty body
    maccroni
    shortbread
    notification from group chats
    spitle on the road or floor
    igbo cooked egusi
    fish stew, very upsetting
    the odor from a crushed insect
    many home vidoes

    Cool article…

    • Changing Faces

      May 27, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      Please what is igbo cooked egusi?

    • jinkelele

      June 27, 2014 at 2:07 am

      more egusi and less vegetable leaves in it

  38. Thelma

    May 27, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    1. When insects are in clusters… goosepimples
    2. Body Odour & Mouth Odor… it even worse if the person is a smoker, DAMN
    3. That egg smell that freshly mopped floor has (due to dirty water/mop)…nauseating.
    4. Spitting any and every where… please swallow it, it helps in digestion
    5. Going through my phone when we aren’t close… you crazy?
    6. Farting close to me,especially if we aren’t close …i don’t care if its a mistake, #angryface
    7. When i’m buying snacks from an eatery and the person serving doesn’t wear gloves, touches the snack with hands they probably scratched their butt with… definitely not buying your ‘shitpie ‘

    I could go on and on but i’d stop here..lol

  39. Tuke

    May 27, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    So i was actually eating Bread and Ede (Shrimp) stew while reading this and I couldn’t help but laugh.
    The only swallow I eat is Eba
    I hate Ants, i don’t understand why they are so brave, it beats me, why would they climb on a human being when they know they will undoubtedly die.
    If you call someone when they are sleeping and you know what you have to say is not important, let them sleep and call them back o, it’s soo annoying

    tukesquest.blogspot.com

  40. ThatHotIgboIbibioGirl

    May 27, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    I hate it when people call “udara/udala/agbalumo” cherry…google d tin n see what the cherry looks like abeg. Plus yeah, it’s a fruit. Nobody said it’s a vegetable *rme*

  41. mama

    May 27, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    lol
    things i dislike……
    pawpaw…yuck make my skin crawl..
    eating amala and egusi…..gosh, watching u eat it can make me throw up…
    removing particles of food in your mouth with your teeth and the noise some people make…..sooooo annoying.
    body odour…..
    women if u have big boobs dont fucking wear halter neck……if u cant see a strapless bra ur size, no be by force to wear halterneck or spagetti strap….and please if u are busty invest in a good tailor, dont wear fitted clothes that make your boobs look like pancake……get a good taylor to make a good bustier for your clothes…
    lastly lycra and spandex aint for everyone……hate to see women with folds wear lycra…yuck
    why do humans eat apku? grooooossss

  42. jcsgrl

    May 27, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    OMG Isio my love you keep leaving me with cracked ribs…then the comments are too hilarious. Anyway back to the marrer at hand,
    I dislike incessant and repetitive asking of questions like a child from a grown human being. Like are we there yet? Ok we’re not there yet. when are we going to get there? Have we arrived? OMG, if it wasn’t that they were my parents, I would have dropped them off on the side of the highway and sped off
    Hate BO, MO, body fluids of any kind. So for the boo, I tell him dont spill nothing on me. Pls hold it well well cover it and clean it well well. If it must enter, better aim well. I better not see/feel anything sliding down my side…ooohhh shivers at the sight
    Men chewing gum…that’s just nasty
    Did i mention MO and BO? that’s how much it creeps me out. I am particularly concerned when a fine ass girl has MO. Like why? Your fineness no reach ya mouth? Warris dis mehn!

    • TA

      May 27, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      Dead @ telling your hubby to aim well well…Are you people seeing what am seeing o. Chai,chai, biko Nne,warris dis nah?! Hian,you people will not kill somebody on BN.

  43. Loulou

    May 27, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    OMG,i am just laughing anyhow in this my office… Isio, am with you on the bread and stew,its so eewwwy. I don’t even like with egg sef, can’t really explain it,i just don’t.
    * I don’t like it when people pee in public,as well as guys that keep holding their privates (do you have boils in it ni?) and that is y even though i love roasted corn and plantain, i hardly buy them cos all these guys don’t just know how to leave their JTs alone.
    * I absolutely hate sloppy kisses, and the worse is people that expect you to hug and kiss them with mouth odour, are u crazy?
    * I love dodo,fat or thin,but when its too soft,just take it very far from me,yuck!!!!!
    * And i hate that stupid sound people make when removing stuck food from their teeth,its like remixing an already bad song,rubbish;and people who can’t help but make noise with their mouth when eating,haba nahhhhhhhhhhhh
    * And people who visit anyhow,its like joblessness is their middle name,just don’t do it!

  44. sandra

    May 27, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    I dislike people who post pre-wedding and post-wedding fotos on BN for no logical reason.

    • Duchess

      May 27, 2014 at 3:36 pm

      beef…

    • Que

      May 27, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      I literally burst into laughter at this one……didnt see it coming!

    • nene

      May 27, 2014 at 4:49 pm

      lol. seconded!

    • nwanyi na aga aga

      May 28, 2014 at 9:56 am

      Loooool! OH! Bn peeps

  45. TA

    May 27, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    Top on the list is fresh.fish of any kind. I hate it. If fish is fried,grilled,smoked whatever but dont give me steamed or in any ‘fresh’ form or else I will puke. Simples. Dont share my cup,spoon,cutlery of any sort,glass,cup,straw,in short anything that goes in my mouth is NEVER shared. If you want to eat with me,get your own damn cutlery! And to.my.grand pet peeve,dont talk to me when am reading.
    Love the article Isio,please keep it coming 🙂 and oh by the way Isio,I hate coffee too.

  46. memebaby

    May 27, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    hmmm.. things I do not like and my reasons.
    1. I do not like hot chocolate..it’s smell makes me nauseous. while growing up, mama meme loved to make chubby meme happy with food, so she thought it was a good idea to serve me lots of hot bournvita (I begged her for it). Then I threw up! that did it for me. I haven’t had chocolate drinks for 15yrs.

    2. I hate texting. (whatsapp..bbm..etc). I rather talk than text. my friends know that.. so if you want a quick response and you wont get charged extra by dialling my number then sweetie you better call. If I text , its because these people are not in my country.. old friends and family that is it.

    3. A guy I just met decides that is ok to ask me out via text and not bother calling me. goodbye. I just think it’s immature. no man child over here.

    4.guys who keep long nails.. are you a barber ?? growing up in benin..lots of them seemed to keep long nails..i dont know why.. its not cute.

  47. desire

    May 27, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    Laughing out loud,BN fam as hilarious as always..I thought my own case was worse cos my sisters attack me all the time. Well my pet peeves,spitting on the road- I would just cross over can’t deal with d thought of stepping on it. Honking-loud noise just irritates me. Someone sucking there thumb or navel-i know its ur body but d sight makes me wanna puke. Stepping on sand in the house-i don’t mind sweeping every minute. Coming in and leaving the doors open-haba did u meet d door open. Guys with hair on th chest-huge turn off evenif u are the cutest guy on earth. Dragging ur feet..Abeg dem plenty,make I stop

  48. a.b.k

    May 27, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    1.pineapples…cant just understand the sticky fruity liquid that comes out when eating this fruit.worst is eating it in public n flies following you everywhere.
    2.catfish…I just cant understand this fish till tomorrow.
    3.i always wonder why stew is put on dishes that are unnecessary. Why cook jollof rice and put stew on top? why put stew on fried rice? why put stew on porridge dishes? Why put stew on ogbono? You can as well cook plain rice, yam, okro, ewedu etc n apply all the stew in the world in them
    4.people especially men who dont use deodorants…basically people who have MO n BO
    5.people who talk too loud makes me cringe n have an instant headache

    • Nat

      May 30, 2014 at 1:44 pm

      Someone once said people who put stew on jollof rice have trust issues, and I believe the person. lol

  49. sparkle

    May 27, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    …i dislike VPL!!! visible panty line is a big no no for anyone abeg, know your dress fabric, texture and all that abeg…never leave the house wearing the wrong undies,check, check again and then get someone else to check again pleaseeeeee, its so embarrassing to see a grown woman showing serious panty line, aarrghhh!!

    • Duchess

      May 27, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      what abt a transparent top with white bra inside… or white pants with red/green panties. hhehehhhe

  50. Faridah

    May 27, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    The feel of metal on my teeth – like trying to open a bottle with one’s teeth etc

    Disorganized desks + any form of clutter

    Ok this is mean, but grown men with acne – Arrrgh! Makes me want to connect a tub of salicylic acid to their veins.

    People using ‘am’ instead of ‘I’m’ …for God’s sake, you no go school?

    Trousers that ‘jump’ that are clearly not supposed to jump! Sag if you must just let the trousers stop where they should or buy another length.

    That bumpy thing behind some men’s heads!!! Someone pass me a bucket…yuck!

    Any sighting of a snake or cockroach gives me the creeps. Even if it’s a picture.

  51. Iya

    May 27, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    Hmmm…plenty things I don’t like…I have reasons for some, others…. *shrugs*

    1. As stated by a lot of other commenters…BO and MO. MO I can excuse because, I mean, most times you can’t smell your breath, but BO….smh…I can’t hack it in my head.
    2. SLOPPY kisses…gaaaagghhhhh!!!! I had a MASSIVE crush on a guy from SS1 – SS2. That crush COLLAPSED after we kissed….lol
    3. I hate the smell of saliva. I can’t share cutlery because of that smell. God help you if you drool in your sleep and the saliva dries on the pillow…chai….
    4. When people shower, especially hot showers, and then leave the door closed. Bros, sis…na wa for you oh….you want to suffocate the next bathroom user??
    5. The sound of metal being scraped, the sound of chair legs scraping the floor…goosebumps…
    6. Excessively long artificial nails, hair and lashes.
    7. LACE WIGGGGGSSSSSSSS!!! NO! NO!! NOOOOOO!!!!!
    8. Overripe pawpaw….no….mba.
    9. I used to really love egusi soup. Moved in with an aunt and her maid has traumatised me with the way she makes hers. I can’t even look at egusi soup and not feel upset… I also hate eba now…
    10. Text speak. Please just don’t. I only excuse it when it’s an actual LENGTHY text. Don’t bring that nonsense to me when we are chatting and you have no letter limit. Case in point….I HATE k, kk in place of OK. Like, duuuuuuudddee, it’s not that tasking to type O then K. I mean how lazy can one get?!!
    11. I can’t eat plantain without stew or some form of sauce on top of it…even with rice. But I can eat it like that with beans.

    That’s all I’ll mention…lolol

  52. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    May 27, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    11. A warm bottle of coke.
    12. When NEPA takes light. ( I once exclaimed out loud: “This is very rude and embarrassing”. and my mum quietly said “But you have never left Nigeria before”.)
    13. Aides that feel like a second Jesus.
    14. Adverts that are dead on arrival.
    15. When people make loud calls.
    16. Untarred roads.
    17. When my bra strap makes a public appearance.
    18.When I’m eating out and can’t chew/crack/suck a juicy bone or eat one strong pomo that I would have dealt with properly in my hallowed chambers.
    19. When on air personalities speak fonee.
    20. Action film with too much ghen ghen and actor no dey die bull.
    21. Superman, who deems it fit to wear a belt over a pata (pant).
    22. When people send me bbms.
    23. When people say, “it is well” or “O ye Olorun” (God Understands)
    24. When my house cannot clean itself

    • jcsgrl

      May 27, 2014 at 8:59 pm

      Lol I missed you hun. No disappear again o!

  53. Idak

    May 27, 2014 at 3:56 pm

    My list is too long. However,I have a logical reason for disliking most of them;

    1. textspeak. An unforgivable sin.
    2. Females with fake eyelashes. I have never seen one that looked better with it. The national assembly should pass a bill banning that thing.
    3. Females and Males who bleach. Kepp calling it toning and the devil will strike you dead one day. Stop telling that lies about trying to clear black spots. It is a stale gist.
    4. Men who keep long nails. Dude,grow up.
    5. Men who pee in public. You a fit for a jail.
    6.Ladies who smoke weed. It is not a sexist t hing but I just can’t stand it.
    7. Men who beat women. Even one slap is not justifiable.
    8.Women with smelly hair. It is worse when it is one of these weaves. Blood of God!!!!
    9. Women with chipped fingernails. Vital sign of a dirty female.QED.
    10. People who eat those large fishes in public (those types you have to bend to make them fit the soup bowl). I can’t deal!
    11. I have shed blood and developed high BP over bad customer service and I am willing to do it all over again. Nothing wins my heart like good service.
    12. Men who do not wash their hands after peeing. Your case is mental!
    13. Girls who can’t dance. It is very unsexy (Google it,it is a real word).

    • nene

      May 27, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      gbam. men who bleach, tufia. smelly weaves r just disgusting. and men with long nails, especially those who leave only the least fingernail really long. are you using it to snort cocaine or what? customer service in nigeria is too poor, it doesn’t exist.

    • TA

      May 27, 2014 at 5:23 pm

      @ Idak ,LOL 🙂 You are such a clown! Oh dear! I hate bleaching too esp when people try to pass it off as toning,I hate. *urghhh and women smoking too,very uncool.
      But as for dancing,he! he!he! I can’t dance. Are we still friends?

  54. Lady Aneeta

    May 27, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    This is so so funny.. LWKMD!! Eerrmm what don’t i even like sef for no reason?? okay… I don’t like people putting their spoons into d food i’m eating saying they wanna have a taste when they can easily go to the pot, I can’t stand people who wanna use big english words and don’t know how to use simple verb tenses… (so shaking my head), I don’t like taking the top piece of an old bread..lolll I don’t know if i feel the one beneath is fresher. this and many more I can’t remember now.

  55. Troll

    May 27, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    Arrghhhh, why am I late for this convos? *weeps* BTW, I ate bread and stew last night LOL, so Isio…that one consign you.
    So my pet peeves:
    1. Touching me with sweaty palms…like kill me before you do that.
    2. Sitting in a bus with headphones on & then you’re singing out loud….I can push you off that bus!
    3. eating from my plate even though when I asked “Are you hungry?” Your answer was “No”……this brings out the demon in me
    4. Peep-toe shoes that end up as peep-feet…..LOL, this one is just irritating.

    Ah, I think I’m done. #backtowork

  56. Fatimah

    May 27, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    Terrible toilet hygiene (dried-up pee on toilet seat, skid marks, soaked tissues etc)
    Phlegm. This makes my skin crawl!
    Controlling parents. This is just a recipe for depression, I swear.
    Bad Customer Service (I haaaate this! This always drives me nuts)
    Dirty, Cluttered insides of a car; sand, bits and pieces of papers, bags etc.
    Ladies who concentrate so much on their faces and leave their hands and legs. You should be jailed!
    Flabby skins, huge tummy, “Michellin-folds” esp. on ladies
    Noisy chewing.
    Forming Oga Boss esp. when you are not Oga Boss.

  57. naana

    May 27, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    the one thing i hate most is the word “like”.
    especially when talking to someone and the person goes:” its like”, and he’s like “.
    gosh can’t stand it. i always tell them to say it as it is or cut the conversation
    it’s like to me is not being sure of what you say.

  58. Ramat

    May 27, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    Hilarious comments!
    As for me,I dislike honey – sight,taste and smell….I’ll just throw up.
    I hate cake(don’t worry,my family thinks I’m a freak too).
    Greatest pet peeve of all-seeing someone brush…omg eewww.I just feel like a thousand slimy insects are climbing all over me.if u need to talk,please don’t jump out the bathroom withfoam all over your mouth,rinse it out first!!

    • ola

      May 28, 2014 at 12:25 am

      Not only u I hate cake too

  59. Chinenye

    May 27, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    I totally hate it when people pee on the toilet seat and leave it so.

  60. Mixed Race

    May 27, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL. “swinging mood” just killed me. things i hate:
    1. head of dodo, why give someone that to eat?
    2: silly abbreviations especially “k,kk, sup” i ABHOR “sup”.
    3. people that can’t speak english. shut up or go and learn.
    4. smelly feet. Kill me now please
    5. people that have spit forming at the edges of their lips. *shudders*
    6. “am” for “i’m” “thou” for “though” etc. please english is not that hard.

  61. lila

    May 27, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    i thought i was crazy…then i found Bella Naija.You all make me feel sane.HUGS!!!!

  62. LL

    May 27, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    My pet-peeves are as follows:
    1.BO/MO/ plague infested teeth (please see a dentist biko)
    2.Dirty toilet/kitchen (First and second place I go to before eating anything from that person’s house unless I know you well)
    3.Caked make-up/ color riot face- (for real though?)
    4.Reptiles of any kind (*shudders* Please keep them far far away)
    5.Cellphones (please STOP calling me at ungodly hour when you know I’ll be sleeping or I’m work EXCEPT if it’s TRULY an emergency. Also, lying about where you are. God is watching you in 4D. Additionally, when I’m talking to you and you are busy with your phone…I’ll just stand up and leave).
    6.People who use this word: “Do you know who I am”? (Arrrgh…unless you are Jesus Christ of Nazareth, please DON’T you EVER use those words)
    7.Paw-paw and over-ripped plantains
    8. Unnecessary titles (Naija no dey carry last for this one..lol)
    9. Dear Parents (especially Nigerian parents) don’t tell us (your kids) that we should remember/know aunty so so or uncle so so when we (kids) have only met them once or twice when we (kids) were little children. Biko if we don’t remember them, it means they where NEVER highly involved in our lives as children.
    10. Abbreviations/Unnecessary shorthand (I CANNOT deal with that)
    11.Loud phone conversations (My dear we are not in Mile 2 market)

    ***I have a lot more but this should do for now :)***

  63. ng

    May 27, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    I thought I was strange until today.this is my first time of being here and I must confess,I love it here.so here goes my pet peeves… 1)I don’t like traditional weddings(dnt knw y). 2)I don’t like chatting-call me. 3)don’t call me “baby” 4)you don’t have to touch me when talking. 5)can’t eat from same plate with someone or share cutlery. 6)dislike it when someone tries to arrange my stuffs for me

  64. holla

    May 27, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    Isio u had me laughing so hard and the comments are just too funny. I hate seeing someone brush..don’t even talk to me while doing that. spitting on d road arrgghh!!! MO and BO,yikes! handshake..who knows where d hand has been?? Bad customer service,good Lord!! That annoying sound made by people claiming they are clearing their noses or getting rid of itchy throat..#pukes Boobs that are not properly packed (especially average to big boobs) just makes me wanna buy good bra for d victim..There are so many,I’ll just stop for now lol.

  65. Bidemi

    May 27, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    1) I hate hate loud people, talkatives especially guys that won’t just shut up argggghhh… Pls never hug me with your wet armpit ( I can puke allover you) BO MO and strong perfumes and body spray, I hate Chin-chin for unknown reasons…. Who dips bread inside their tea :s… I hate too much pepper ( why will I eat and be fanning my mouth when it’s not punishment),too much oil is also a no-no for me and pls I think it’s totally wrong for you to go all ” ao r u, ggmb, btgog” on me pls type in English

  66. Oompa Loompa

    May 27, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Things I like to do to annoy people for no reason
    1. Honking. I love to honk! Driving is no fun without annoying other drivers with my horn and scaring pedestrians.
    2. Rubbing. Most people around me don’t like being touched. So I follow them around and rub very very well.
    3. Lying down on people. If I visit you and you are lying down or sitting I would most likely lie on you or sit on you.
    4. Singing off key and very loudly. Cos it’s fun!!!!!!!
    5. Mimicking. This never gets old. Throw in fonee and you won’t hear the last of it.
    BN readers are purrfect people. Una leg no K at all o. See all of you coming up with things you dislike for no reason. Since that’s the topic my answer is amala and egusi. Like you must really hate me to serve me amala and egusi.

  67. Lindsey

    May 27, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    Pet peeve – single grown men with grey hair asking for my friendship. I just can’t deal. For real, your mates have kids in elementary school and high school, but you are here in church asking to be my friend? This makes no darn sense to me. I should be calling you “uncle” and you want to be my friend can call your by first name?,yet you see 30 something 40 something year old gorgeous we’ll accomplished single women in church you are not asking them to marry your old ass. Misplaced priorities and not a good look. To me the fact that you want me, in my 20s to be your friend is a serious sign that you are a joke and you shouldn’t be taken seriously. Oh and stay out of the clubs…my uncles dont grind on me and you and your grey hair remind me of my uncle. One last thing, wearing true religion jeans and polo shirts does not put you in the same league with Davido or wizkid even though y’all the same height. Someone quarantine these mid life cruises men from me o

  68. sussy

    May 28, 2014 at 7:59 am

    Am guilty of a few bt things I dislike
    #That screeching sound when someone is scraping the bottom of the pot.
    That noise some people make when brushing(as if their gullet is about to come out)
    Showing up at my house without informing me(phones are there for a reason)
    The sight of dirty children(where are their parents??)
    Unnnecessary touching especially from sweaty hands
    When someone knocks and I ask who it is and I get no response(like am supposed to know you from ur knock)
    Loool the list goes on. Nice article Isio and Iyke your weird o at the no phone calls.

  69. Ade

    May 28, 2014 at 9:13 am

    First up! Isio that was a very funny article. It got me laughing all through.
    For no particular reason, I dislike the touch of pure silk; it sends shivers down my backbone. I’m also a huge hater of agbalumo but on good grounds (I once saw a maggot inside one), ever since then, I’ve refused to take them.

    • Pretty

      May 30, 2014 at 6:47 pm

      Na the maggot they make am sweet.

  70. lady

    May 28, 2014 at 9:14 am

    .Guys that meet you for the first time and call you baby all of a sudden…like wtf??!! do i look like a baby?? Can you see my momma’s tits in my mouth? I simply simply find this super irritating.

  71. ij

    May 28, 2014 at 9:37 am

    “how was your night ?” by far the most irritating question in the universe

    • Jane

      May 28, 2014 at 12:20 pm

      I hate that question with a passion! Lol. Thank God i’m not alone. (Dances a jig)

    • emma

      July 1, 2014 at 5:05 pm

      and the ode questions go on and on; have you eaten? what did you have?
      like seriously???

  72. Jane

    May 28, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    Another one of my pet peeves, people who think you owe them! A cousin comes to my house immediately i come back from a trip and the next thing my camisole and cash is missing!!! A camisole that i bought in a particular color for a particular suit? I was so mad. The most annoying part…denying it! I wan craze that day. We had workers(artisans) in the office and when they are done, wallah, my original bb charger and full tin of ovaltine is missing! What gives you the right to ‘take’ my stuff without asking? It annoys da heck outta me. Like its my fault that i can afford these things and you can’t! Jeez

  73. Odekanmi Benedicta

    May 28, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    This is one hilarious piece. Thanks for sharing. I hate ‘k’ in texts

    Read articles written by Odekanmi Benedicta @ therelationshiphub.com

  74. Hopeless_romantic

    May 28, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    1) I have come to fully accept that some people have cold metal embedded in their shoulders. Now picture this. You’re walking ‘jejely’ on a road and some individual rams into ur shoulder. Your mouth opens on its own in shock and the mofo is oblivious of the ish. I mean!!!!!!!! He walks on like nuffin happened. Wahlahi! I can cry
    2) Kpa! Kpa! Shraa! Taaa! *big balloon* twaaaaa! We all know that sound right? I meaaaaaannnnn!!! TF is wrong with you that you gotta chew like a goat. We all chew gum. Must it make stupid sounds?!
    3) Those ppl that r just so rude. Front desk girls. I mentally slap such ppl in my head like 40x
    4) I keep telling my brothers. The dodo shldnt be this fat. Plsssss! Slim ones are better in d mouth. When it is not eba. Hian!

  75. adanne

    May 29, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    “kpete kpete” got me laughing. I hate over ripe plantain; it’s “logo logo”. I hate soft pawpaw, eeeww.Please don’t give me pepsi if I ask for a coke, it’s not the same. I hate it when one constantly makes that sound with the tongue and teeth. Some people even do it after taking ice cream, haba. I hate the smell of fufu. I hate it when a guy calls me baby or one of those names when we just meet or a guy who barely knows me and he is prophesing love. What do you love? I have sweaty palms and i hate it. Oh and Seun I’m with you on that. Don’ be digging your nose in church and expect me to share peace with you. @Isio I’m sure your hatred would increase when you see how some people open up the loaf of bread and pour the stew in it *gosh*. How do people chew eba, semo, amala, I can’t.

  76. Nat

    May 30, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    – That slurp sound people make when drinking hot tea or coffee, I can’t describe my hatred for it. If you can’t drink quietly, abeg wait for it to cool down.
    – Text speak. How did we become this lazy? every word now has an abbreviation. The most annoying ones are; ijn, ao, sup etc, I don’t reply people who chat in text speak, my brain can’t process most of these silly abbreviations.
    – You meet somebody for the first time, you exchange contacts and next thing the person is whatsapp’ing you, kilode!! what happens to calling and building conversations to a comfortable level before the chats start?
    – I don’t use glass cups to drink water even in my house, I will rather use mugs/ dsposalable cups, reason being I think too many mouths use glass cups anywhere, so whenever I visit people I don’t drink anything that requires using a glass cup.
    – I will rather use plastic/disposal able cutlery wherever possible
    – I will rather text than call, how people manage to stay on the phone for hours is something I have never been able to get my head around.

    Infact there are too many things to mention.

  77. nky

    June 1, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    Hilarious post and comments. And I thought I was complicated. My pet peeves, let me see. I Hate bad English, I’d rather be addressed in sign language, flies! They make my skin crawl, ewww! Sounds people make while they eat, I just can’t. Guys who’ve just met you and start forming ‘baby’ ‘tell me about yourself ‘ and asking all sorts of personal questions. That is the end, Lai Lai! It can’t pass there. That’s all for now.

  78. dup

    June 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    Abeg I don laff taya _ _ _ _ _ from the article to other comments! However my pet peeves are:
    1. I hate sharing the toilet with guys cos they leave urine stains all over the toilet seat…. hate hate it so much Boo & I fight abt it all the time.

    2. I hate it when a man wears lace with very big holes, just very hideous for me

    3. Overripe plantain is a NO NO NO NO

    4. A dirty shirt collar, even if you have one shirt plsssssss & plsssssss keep it clean, Big hissssssss and of cos MO & BO

    5. I do agree with Isi on sweaty bodies, its sticky and irritating. Luckily for me I don’t sweat

    That’s all for now! ! ! Hilarious piece

  79. susex

    June 11, 2014 at 9:47 am

    I soo hate being tapped by a frnd b4 talking… it’s gets me angry

  80. Haddy

    July 13, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    1. I can’t stand calls. Just seeing my phone ring increases my blood pressure. I’d rather text.
    2. Don’t eat chicken. Can’t stand the smell of chicken itself or in any soup or stew. I eat eggs though! imagine that.
    3. Can’t also stand body or mouth odors. My God! Very sensitive nose I’ve got. Smells are a no-no.
    4. Please, do not call me at night. That’s when normal people sleep! The most annoying part of this is when you call and hear my voice really husky cos I’ve been sleeping but you go ahead with your meaningless chatter, without even a ‘sorry for waking you up”!
    5. I hate “K’ with a passion.
    6. I don’t answer stupid questions. If u ask me how many flights are available and I say “only one flight at 9am”, please don’t be asking me if we have an evening flight. I will not respond. What else does “only” mean?
    7. Body contact. Do not be touching me anyhow. I cannot sleep if you wrap yourself around me. Stay on your side of the bed and leave me on mine. We can cuddle, while I’m awake, please.
    8. If you touch my stuff, please put t back where you found it. I cannot begin to understand why people will scatter what I have carefully arranged. Haba!
    8. Please don’t call me “baby” especially if we’ve never met.
    9. Please do not PING at the start of a chat and expect me to respond. In d middle of the chat, fine. Not to start one. How the hell am I supposed to respond to a PING?
    10. If I offer you something in appreciation, please do not refuse it when you really want to accept it. If I ask once and you say no, I won’t cajole you into accepting. I will take it that you don’t really want it and withdraw my offer.

  81. Divea

    May 20, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    My pet peeves are
    1. over ripe plantain whether fried or cooked
    2. calling me baby when we just met…this one pisses me off
    3..touching me unnecessarily.
    4. Body odour and mouth odour
    5. talking to me when i’m reading…won’t even answer you

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