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Kunmi Omisore: The Big F in Feminism



Having a vagina doesn’t make you less of a human being. Some people get that. Some people don’t. And that’s okay. The only difference between me and a good number of ‘others’ is that I don’t spend massive amounts of time arguing about it. Simply for the reason that I’d much prefer to let my actions speak for themselves than talk your brain into switching lanes. If that makes me lazy, then I’m sorry. Actually, I’m not but that’s the polite thing to say.

You could call me ungrateful. You could call me quite foolish. You could call me a half-hearted feminist. But in all honesty, I’d much rather skip the whole ‘feminist’ term altogether because in reality, I’m not. On one hand, maybe I have done very little or nothing to ‘deserve’ the honoured title but on the other hand, maybe I don’t want it in the first place. Because, as with everything human beings lay their hands on, there are flaws in the idea and turning a blind eye to them simply because I’m female is senseless. Never been my style.

I tend to consciously avoid this entire topic of Feminism (I’m rolling my eyes as we speak) because it’s an endless debate I have very little energy for – which is incredibly ironic because I always have energy for a good debate – and I sort of missed the memo and failed How To Be A Good Feminist 101. But for this one and (likely) only time, I’ll talk about it.

Firstly, I don’t like labels. (You might have read this… ) I don’t see the need for all of us to be grouped into tight, airless boxes as an act of solidarity. Unnecessary, in my opinion. I believe in equality despite sex, gender, sexuality, race, physical ability, you-name-it. I just don’t think one tag is going to suit us all; why does it need to? But that’s completely by the way.

The main issue is the presupposition that: a) Your views should naturally be shared and accepted by everyone – especially people of the same stock. b) The extent of your passion for these issues should be shared by everyone. Modern-day feminism has arguably become the very essence of what it claims to fight against; men-on-women bullying has been replaced by the women-on-women kind. But this is clearly not bullying in the first place, is it? But supposing it was, surely that’s completely acceptable, right? Because we’re fighting the good fight TOGETHER. Right?

Is there a Universal Guide on Belief Systems tucked away in the earth somewhere that the rest of us under-evolved beings don’t have access to? If I make the choice to take a half-arsed stand on what is apparently my calling-by-default, I have every right to. I also have every right not to feel guilty about it or allow myself to be bullied into feeling like a substandard product. Because, if I’m not mistaken… that’s what we’re fighting for in the first place, no?

Though I am aware of and fully acknowledge the massive gap between the sexes, extremism of every kind is a turn-off. When did raising awareness of women’s issues and fighting for our equality become terrorism? When did ‘lack of enthusiasm’ for the cause become something to be ‘pardoned’ – or straight up exorcised – in a fellow female? At what point did we trade individualism for irrationality?

I’m likely to be hunted down for this but that has never been the issue. Every human being maintains the right to have an opinion on every issue under the sun.

Feminism cannot be made an exception.

Photo Credit:
Kunmi Omisore is a non-award-winning opinionist, currently living the life of a nomad. She believes in the power of words and the importance of people being able to express themselves. She is presently trying to make sure she doesn’t end up penniless. Follow her on Twitter @Kunmi_O for more stimulating conversation and high levels of weistfulness.

Kunmi Omisore is a non-award-winning opinionist, currently living the life of a nomad. She believes in the power of words and the importance of people being able to express themselves. She is presently trying to make sure she doesn't end up penniless. Follow her on Twitter @Kunmi_O for more stimulating conversation and high levels of weistfulness.


  1. 'Midé

    June 4, 2014 at 10:32 am

    hmmm…I hear u

  2. stupidityslayer

    June 4, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Ok, you don’t like labels…but what’s your point though?

    • idomagirl

      June 7, 2014 at 1:31 am

      exactly…me sef I’m wondering…

  3. Matriarch

    June 4, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Keep contradicting yourself all because you’re wary if the term “feminist”. But you’re an “opinionist” right? And you’re “Nigerian” right? You believe in the equal opportunity for all genders but you are not a feminist? Contradictory.
    In all fairness to you though, you’re entitled to self-identification. But more than anything, I see why you run from the term- it’s ignorance! You label feminist groups negatively (I wonder which ones you’ve been around because there are several amazing groups out there and they embody true female empowerment). Also, woman-to-woman bullying has always existed and feminists have played great roles in uplifting other women by shedding light on issues like slut shaming, to mention a few. I’m not here to school you, I’m suggesting that you get proper education on this subject matter and get real about who/what you are or want to be.

    • Aeiou

      June 4, 2014 at 12:13 pm

      Equal opportunity for all genders is Humanism.

    • idomagirl

      June 7, 2014 at 1:33 am

      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so many people so quick to yarn ‘i don’t like feminism’ actually never take time to understand what its about…

  4. @edDREAMZ

    June 4, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Ok i don hear…

  5. NameDoesNotMatter

    June 4, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    Feminism has been promoting hate, violence and call for male genocides for decades:

    Feminists sent death threats to Erin Pizzey, the woman who opened the first modern DV shelter for women, her mistake, she said women can be as cruel and violent as men. Her dog was killed and her entire family received death threats, she lived in exile for years

    Feminists teamed up with liberal academia to advocate for eugenics, mass sterilization, and mass murder in the United States.

    Feminists using violence to silence speakers and abusing and physically intimidating attendees at University of Toronto

    Feminists are encouraging women to beat their husbands and boy friends:

    Feminists calling for male genocide using twitter:

    7000 Violent feminists attacked and sexually assaulted christian men

    Recently, feminists sent death threats to double tree hotel and its staffs because they are hosting Men’s issues awareness conference,

    Feminists are sending death threats to the people concerned with current men and boys issues.

    It is clear that feminism is a terror and hate group and feminists are terrorists, it is time to take action to maintain democracy, peace in our society. Sign the petition to ask the government to class feminism as a terrorist group

  6. NameDoesNotMatter

    June 4, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    The real sexism is spreading hate of certain gender, calling for genocide, here are the example, these people are feminists, terrorists:

    “I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that
    the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is
    oppressing them.” — Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor.

    “I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has
    not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and
    desire.” — Robin Morgan

    “To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.” — Valerie Solanas, Authoress of the SCUM Manifesto

    “The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness…can be trained to do most things.” — Jilly Cooper, SCUM

    “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved
    in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “Q: People think you are very hostile to men. A: I am.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience.” – Catherine Comins

    “All men are rapists and that’s all they are” — Marilyn French, Authoress

    “Men use the night to erase us.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “The annihilation of a woman’s personality, individuality, will,
    character, is prerequisite to male sexuality.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “Men love death. In everything they make, they hollow out a central
    place for death, let its rancid smell contaminate every dimension of
    whatever still survives. Men especially love murder. In art they
    celebrate it, and in life they commit it. They embrace murder as if life
    without it would be devoid of passion, meaning, and action, as if
    murder were solace, stilling their sobs as they mourn the emptiness and
    alienation of their lives.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “Men are rapists, batterers, plunderers, killers; these same men are religious prophets, poets, heroes, figures of romance, adventure, accomplishment, figures ennobled by tragedy and defeat. Men have claimed the earth, called it ‘Her’. Men ruin Her. Men have airplanes, guns, bombs, poisonous gases, weapons so perverse and deadly that they defy any authentically human imagination.” — Andrea Dworkin, Pornography: Men Possessing Women

    “On the Left, on the Right, in the Middle; Authors, statesmen,
    thieves; so-called humanists and self-declared fascists; the adventurous
    and the contemplative, in every realm of male expression and action,
    violence is experienced and articulated as love and freedom.” —
    Andrea Dworkin, Pornography: Men Possessing Women.

    “The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

    ”Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice.” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

    “Rape is nothing more or less than a conscious process of
    intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear” — Susan
    Brownmiller; Authoress of Against Our Will p.6

    “When a womanreaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression.” — Sheila Jeffrys

    “Politically, I call it rape whenever a woman has sex and feels violated.” — Catherine MacKinnon

    “All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of
    violence perpetrated against a woman.” — Catherine MacKinnon

    “You grow up with your father holding you down and covering your mouth so
    another man can make a horrible searing pain between your legs.” —
    Catherine MacKinnon (Prominent legal feminist scholar; University of
    Michigan, & Yale.)

    “The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men.” — Sharon Stone; Actress

    “Ninety-five percent of women’s experiences are about being a
    victim. Or about being an underdog, or having to survive… women didn’t
    go to Vietnam and blow things up. They are not Rambo.” — Jodie
    Foster; Actress – as quoted in The New York Times Magazine.

    “The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at
    approximately 10% of the human race.” — Sally Miller Gearhart, in The
    Future – If There Is One – Is Female.

    “And if the professional rapist is to be separated from the average dominant heterosexual (male), it may be mainly a quantitative difference.” — Susan
    Griffin, Rape: The All-American Crime

    What is common among above vile, sexist, hateful and terrorism advocating people? They are all feminists.

  7. Swiss

    June 4, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    My thing about this feminism thing is that I get the idea and I get what it represents but I’ve not met any self proclaimed feminist who’s demeanour I enjoy. I find that they’re usually highly disagreeable, overly opinionated and automatically tag you enemy if you say you’re not feminist.
    I don’t have to hate men and bash them at every chance to assert that my gender is equal, its not always about us vs them. There are so many double standards; times when it is implied that females are ok with being seen/treated as un-equals (men paying for dates, lifting heavy stuff, pounding yam, expecting chivalry) etc. Yes every human would love to be treated with respect and courteousness but women tend to EXPECT/DEMAND it BECAUSE of our GENDER and are also quick to say how we are the “weaker sex” BUT ONLY when its convenient. If I am a man’s equal, I should drive him, open doors for him, help him carry heavy stuff etc because we are equals right? Now you can argue that those are just things expected of a man who has good upbringing but what is the underlying tone? -Why aren’t women also brought up to do those same things to/for men so as to be equals?
    The whole feminism thing is great and all but its very contradictory in action, you don’t get to choose when you want to flash your feminism card. Some of us ladies take it too far. I DO NOT THINK I AM A MAN’s EQUAL. I quite enjoy being treated as a woman should. And that’s ok too. Thank you!

  8. anonymous

    June 4, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    I think the point is that these self acclaimed feminists shouldn’t force their opinions down the throats of other women and make the women who aren’t arguing with the world and men look bad. Kapish

    • Iris

      June 4, 2014 at 7:33 pm

      However, without them women would be virtually nowhere in terms of equality. I get your point. I too sometimes think some things are taken to extreme, but I remember that despite all these “extreme” arguments there is much more to be accomplished. Look at something as common as rape that still exists today in developed and developing countries despite decades of advocacy for women to not be treated as inferior beings. When you are fighting for an oppressed party to become equal the trend has been that you have to put in plenty to gain even a little. Imagine if we didn’t have these extremely vocal feminists then. How far would we have come? It’s easy to sit on our haunches and enjoy the benefits of their work without actually realising the difference they have made. I’m sure there were women in the fifties who looked at bra-burners and suffragettes as crazy and uncomfortable to be with, but look how far the daughters and grand-daughters of those women have come because of their “crazy” peers.

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