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Who is The Bride?! Are Wedding Guests Taking it ‘Too Far’?

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(photo used for illustrative purposes only)

Every weekend on Instagram, you can be sure you’ll see your friends, followers and foes alike in their hottest gear to attend a wedding. From bridesmaids to wedding guests (yes, even those without an official invite ^_^) everyone is trying to look their best.

It’s now the norm for makeup studios that charge 5k to 30k for makeup & gele to overflow with customers every single Saturday (and smile to the bank on Monday), the studios get so busy that if you’re a guest, you have to set aside a few hours to do your makeup especially if you didn’t set an appointment beforehand.

But … is it getting too much?

Some brides have started confiding in us – “I’m thinking of getting a junior bridal party (only flower girls, little bride) because I don’t want my bridesmaids to outshine me.” “Is this OK? Will people notice?”

For some brides, it’s their show-stopping guests that caused the wahala! A recent bride told us

“I was so shocked at what she wore! I wanted to throw her out!”

On the other hand, some brides want their guests to stun and sparkle, making metallic, gold or sequin aso ebi the dress code. Brides have told us they made custom made dresses for their bridesmaids so they could feel like it was their day too. There are also modern brides who want their girls wearing white, so they can feel their friend’s joy and stand out just like her.

From the guests’ point of view, some people ‘want to sell their market’ – a lot of people meet their husbands/wives at weddings so they want to be left out of the mix. Someone jokingly told BN Weddings, “eh hehn, she has married now, it’s our turn.”

For the grooms, we had a groom confess that he disagreed with his best man’s suggestion to wear the same suit with him on his wedding day but let it go so as to avoid seeming petty. However, when he saw his wedding photos, he realized his should have followed his instincts as his best man outshone him!

So… where do you stand?

Whenever we’ve brought up this topic, a lot of people say it’s the bride’s day and no-one can outshine her, because of her natural glow/happiness that day at marrying the love of her life.

On the other hand, we’ve experienced attending a wedding or two where the uninvited guests who just come for the party whisper to each other, “Who is the bride?”, “Is that her?”, “hmm…” because there are guests dressed in fancier and flashier attire with their ‘hair laid’ and faces ‘beat to the gawds’, while the bride just looks OK (in their opinion).

So what say you? Will you kick out a guest for dressing too flashy at your wedding? Will bodyguards throw out a guest wearing anything close to ivory? Or can no one outshine you (you’re fly like that)?!

… and for us we say …

kermit tea - asoebibella

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147 Comments

  1. beatrice

    July 3, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    LOL I love this topic ooooo
    Chai I have put my kettle on the fire, read to sip the tea from the comments

    • Iya

      July 3, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      Just think, they are Killing themselves in the outfit department to get what you have at the altar. #snap! #watchhowthebridedidit

  2. Nigerwifediary.blogspot

    July 3, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Seriously…whatever happened to “don’t outshine the bride, don’t wear white”?
    Brides really have to step it up oh.
    nigerwifediary.blogspot.com

    • Bee

      July 3, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      Traditionally the bridesmaids did wear white as they were supposed to be decoys & thus were dressed very similarly to the real bride.

  3. laila

    July 3, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    Yes they are taking it too far. Sometimes I see specific pics on instagram and wonder what the wedding guest was thinking. Just TOO MUCH.

  4. mimi

    July 3, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    oya comment time… gisting time!!!

  5. rahama

    July 3, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    All customers of Tope Abiola’s Frock it Rock it fall into this category LOLLLL #YesISaidIt
    The lowest cut back, sequins, lace, cleavage, slit in front! Ah ah Diaris God ooo

  6. Gee | KnotsVilla Wedding Blog

    July 3, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    Lol…this is so funny. Personally I dont think I’d ever let someone’s dressing get in my way of celebrating as a bride…or should I say; it is best to train yourself with that mindset. Letting other people’s actions (or in this case dressing), affect your look/mood is a set up for stress and worry. A bride should be confident in her look and the joy that comes from her getting married.

    That being said, because not everyone would think or agree with this view, I’d try to leave room for such brides that let other people’s outfit affect their mood. In that case, as a guest, I’d stay away from certain “bridal” colors and generally dresses that can look “bridey” Well except she explicitly says her guests can come in those specific colors.

  7. Medlyn

    July 3, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    Very funny, no matter how you try to outshine the bride in your outfit, you are not the bride so it is still her day. Guest should look simple n good, rather than trying too hard to make a statement….My twin is getting married n am her twin, she advised i wear a white dress and change over at the reception.
    Honestly, no one should dare wear a white dress on my big dear, i will just throw you out.
    nice one BN

  8. wondered too

    July 3, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    I wanted my bridesmaids 2 look stunning so I customized their dresses, I did not care what my guest wore was just glad they came. Attended a wedding and bride said 2 me u guys want to outshine me abi, I knew she was joking but felt bad cos I didn’t mean to outshine her did not even know I looked nice.

    • Blue

      July 26, 2014 at 11:25 am

      “………did not even know I look nice”……hmmnnnn,,Pinnochio long nose for you!!!!

  9. Jane Public

    July 3, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    Brides should step up their game o jare. With Instagram now everyone is putting their best foot forward. So, what if someone else outshines you, it is your day, you are marrying the love of your life, you will be the center of all the pictures. Who cares what some girl wore, if she outshines you on your day, best believe that she will be forgotten the day after and you will have all the pictures and video of you being the center of attention for years and years to come. You should only worry if your hubby’s eyes are roving to the other women trying to outshine you, and if he truly is looking at them, you don enter one chance be that.

    • Truth

      July 3, 2014 at 7:43 pm

      Lmao, best comment ever

  10. CeeCee

    July 3, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    Seriously, a bride should be fixated on enjoying every moment of her day, not worrying about what the guests are wearing. But I believe in setting a dress code and security making sure people are appropriate. I hate overexposed guests.

  11. tomi

    July 3, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    hehehehe this topic have been waiting for…. in my opinion, no one can outshine me, even if you come wearing a VW wedding dress or one made by Koshiba,or some customized dress. Am the bride nd as long as that day is on everybody pays attention to me.. nd my self confidence is enough carriage to stand me out. The glow and joy helps the bride to stand out. Secondly and the one sitting right infront of everybody, they are all looking out for me, hv ma pictures all over the souvenirs, they are all there for e and in my name. That in its self is enough for me.

  12. tomi

    July 3, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    *am *me

  13. @edDREAMZ

    July 3, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said…
    .
    Making sense topic no doubt…
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

    • nne steph

      July 4, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      U must sha comment..smh

    • latifa

      July 7, 2014 at 6:24 pm

      he is seriously trying to be the Bonario of BellaNaija……….smfh

  14. Engoz

    July 3, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    I’m going to have just two hot and slim bridesmaids. I had wanted them to wear white, but it seems people are picking on on that as well, so it’s no more appealing to me. I like my guests looking clean, suave and highly sophisticated. So please dress well. All headties must be tied very well. The razzness of leaving hair out when you have a headtie on would not be allowed. I see that a lot in the US. There shall be no flower girl or boy or little bride either. Not interested in dragging kids along with me. It’s gonna be a youthful, grown-up ceremony. God help my dad if he goes against my wishes and invites his union groups to come and specially dance and razz up my wedding…let me just say there shall be blood on the dance floor that day, lol. The more I look at or go to weddings, the more I realize I cannot go through most of the charade.

    • baboushka

      July 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      I hope your sisters or best friends are slim and hot because you do know that a bridesmaid is someone that is close to you right? That is how one chic accosted my friend at a hotel in Abuja while she was vacationing asking her if she would mind being in her bridal train as in a total stranger oh her reasons were that most of her friends and family were short and she was looking for model height babes to be in her train my friend is 5″10 and slim.

    • cc

      July 3, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      Seriously? That’s so crazy. Nigerians will do anything to keep up appearances.

    • Engoz

      July 3, 2014 at 8:32 pm

      My sisters and friends are fat, because finding a slim friend or sister is like looking for a needle in a haystack in your village abi? Nigerians and their unsolicited advice.

    • mariaah

      July 6, 2014 at 12:15 am

      LMAO.. Nigerians are too funny!! I hear in Abuja, they now get modelling agencies to supply models as bridesmaids for weddings.

      In fact, a popular Abj wedding that made it to BN last year had models as bridesmaids. The bride’s reason was that most off her friends and cousins were married or too old and she wanted Aa picture perfect wedding album. :d

    • Nma

      July 3, 2014 at 4:43 pm

      U sound sooo full of it! Razz razz razz all over ur comment. Its always the ones calling people razz that are the razzest themselves. Why not just do an invite-only wedding? Abi ur “posh” arse didn’t know that was an option?

    • Engoz

      July 3, 2014 at 8:48 pm

      Of course it’s going to be an invite only, with very few people, so that people like you don’t gatecrash it. Rotflmao! I don’t know why my lighthearted comment pained you. You must be razzzzzz! Lol

    • nike

      July 3, 2014 at 4:46 pm

      Oh My!!
      Heck! you are sooo funny. lol

    • ade

      July 3, 2014 at 6:33 pm

      Gosh i love this. The height of tackiness when you leave the weave or braids hanging!!! looks so messy. Even have seen one with a fringe ;-(

    • Lola

      July 8, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Exactly , I hate it so much . It’s all of these American and UK weddings that I see all of that nonsense .

    • bee

      July 4, 2014 at 1:15 pm

      lmaoo you are just too funny girl!u got me laughing out loud seriously!bless you

    • La

      July 4, 2014 at 2:15 pm

      Lmao!!! At razz up hilarious comment

    • Brown

      July 4, 2014 at 7:45 pm

      The humor in ur post cannot be qualify wit words.a blogger is wat u shud be.tnx for making me [email protected]

  15. wizzle

    July 3, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    Hello people please I need some help here.I’m dating a guy at the moment that has penis malfunctions. I’m so much in love with him and don’t mind if we cant have sex in the future.Is this okay?

    • Idak

      July 3, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      What do you mean by penis malfunctions?
      It refused to respond to stimuli or its response to stimulation is not satisfactory?

    • miss jean

      July 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Lol. So that you will come and give us stories that touch later abi?

    • Bade

      July 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      It is ok. Same way he shouldnt leave ou if your reproductive parts are not functional e.g if you cannot have a baby.

    • Grown Woman

      July 3, 2014 at 2:56 pm

      chei this is sad, well my advise is, go and seek medical help first then follow your heart.No amount of comments can change your mind.Also email bella they have a column for agony which people can give you some advice.

    • RayRay

      July 3, 2014 at 3:03 pm

      If you’re happy that’s it, you go ahead but don’t come and complain in future that he isn’t satisfying you sexually cos na broom i go flog you with.

  16. Say the truth

    July 3, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Cool redesign but some of the featured images are enormous when you scroll down the home page.

  17. Troll

    July 3, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    People like worrying too much….I swear. For me oh, it’s my day and nobody can outshine me, whatever you want to wear is your business. I actually think people’s dressing will be the least of my worries on my wedding day.

  18. mima

    July 3, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    U fi shine pass me no wahala. But dont wink at my husband tat very day. I will show you pepper lol. Who feel the most loved that day is important

  19. Engoz

    July 3, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    I also think it’s very very petty for brides crying not to be out-shined. It just screams insecurity.

  20. Berry Dakara

    July 3, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    I had to get on my phone very quickly because the internet at work just went wonky.

    I have a few thoughts on this matter…
    1. Honestly, I think going to get your makeup professionally done as a wedding guest is doing a tad too much.
    2. These days, it’s common to hear “Oooh I wonder what she’s going to wear to the wedding,” while referring to a wedding guest. I know the guests want to look good, but don’t overdo it. Elaborate outfits, slits up to here, cleavage bared down to there… can we calm down? *Note* been there, done that so I’m talking to myself too
    3. If you’re going to a black and white wedding like I had, feel free to wear a white dress but try to keep it simple. My dress was black and white and very obviously bridal so there was no mistaking me, but someone wore a beaded white gown to my sister’s wedding and us bridesmaids all went “Oh hell naw, she did NOT!”
    4. Like someone mentioned, at the end of the day, the camera(s) will be following the bride and groom so really, they’re not sharing that much attention with the fancy guests.
    5. I really and truly don’t think any guest is trying to outshine the bride. They are simply trying to outshine each other, because of different reasons from pictures posted online that will sometimes bring unnecessary scrutiny to “I must to market myself weh weh.”
    6. I think it’s rare for a bride to actually notice what someone at her wedding is wearing because she’s usually too happy anyways…

    My sixpence

    berrydakara.blogspot.com

  21. lilian

    July 3, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    No one can outshine the bride on her wedding day as long as the bride wears her beautiful wedding gown, she will standout.I want my guests to dress gorgeously to my wedding ceremony.

  22. BubblyBliss

    July 3, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    Love the new look but I miss the ‘previous’ and ‘next’ article links that used to be at the top and bottom of each article, made navigating and reading through such a breeze. Some internet connections in Nigeria are not the best for the back and forth.

    Hmm, some guests take it too far #butthatsnoneofmybusiness I’ll be a happy bride, not fussed by what anyone else is wearing beside me, my beau, parents and bridal party 🙂 How many outfits do you really want to veto?

    • BubblyBliss

      July 3, 2014 at 2:33 pm

      I just found the previous and next links… my bad!

    • BellaNaija.com

      July 3, 2014 at 2:33 pm

      Thanks BubblyBliss. We just added the function back to the site. You should see the names of the previous and next posts now. Thanks so much!

    • Ivie

      July 8, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      Hi BN, cant access BellaNaija.com via mobile. kindly tell how to go about it …#sadface

  23. memiee

    July 3, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    lmao! this matter tie wrapper!!!

    Personally, i don’t think anybody plans to outshine the bride. I am guilty of wearing white/cream for functions reason because it gives you that elegant and outstanding look. Though,I put caution to how i wear mine not to go over the top with it.

  24. lucy

    July 3, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    Mii I dnt care about anyone outshining me because I know I’m going to shine brighter than a diamond. But I’ll throw you out if you dare wear full on white like ur the bride or full on black like ur goin to a funeral. I just find that extremely rude. All I want to see are bright colours and fabulous looking ladies.

  25. ao

    July 3, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    Wedding guests are invited to support the bride and groom with good cheer, warm wishes, and gifts. Why then would one bend over backwards to look like they are going to the Oscars and outshine the bride or groom? Smells of desperation.

  26. Amaka

    July 3, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    I’m all for my guests to look fly. Good looking guest adds to the class of an event. As a matter of fact at my traditional & recent wedding I told my guests to be fly. Don’t worry about out shinning me. You can’t… It’s my day and by my deameanor, alone… You’ll know who’s the bride. I don’t agree with guests making it a point to outshine the bride by wearing trains on their dresses or having an over the top style that looks as if it belongs on a courture runway. That displays desperation to be noticed and if you’re single & searching, it evident that you’re thirsty!! Lol

  27. Amaka

    July 3, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    I’m all for fly looking guests. Good looking guests adds to the class of an event. As a matter of fact at my traditional & recent wedding I told my guests to be fly. Don’t worry about out shinning me. You can’t… It’s my day and by my deameanor, alone… You’ll know who’s the bride. I don’t agree with guests making it a point to outshine the bride by wearing trains on their dresses or having an over the top style that looks as if it belongs on a courture runway. That displays desperation to be noticed and if you’re single & searching, it’s evident that you’re thirsty!! Lol

  28. M

    July 3, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    Bella Naija it you fault o, lol. ok maybe partly so
    ever since you brought asoebi bella and the like ladies have STEPPED UP THEIR GAME
    everyone wants to look good and outshine each other and if that includes that bride, then so be it.
    personally I would like to see the person that would try such madness at my wedding, you would tell me if you invited me or I did you
    I think its always best to have some respect for the couple and dress appropriately. This includes no jeans, white, dresses with trains, or fashion overkill, unless specifically asked to do so

    • naijadiva

      July 3, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      yes ooo you took the words right out of my mouth

    • Que

      July 3, 2014 at 5:29 pm

      I agree on the asoebi bella part.

      As for getting mad at guests, n wondering who invited who….u get time for headache… cheers!

  29. jcsgrl

    July 3, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    I think our society has gotten so vain. Only in naija will guests be fighting to outshine each other and the bride for wedding. Everything is a competition! Imagine guests saying “oh she looks ok.” Na wa o! Unnecessary pressure for brides to go to the highest mountains to make sure they are winning on that day instead of focusing on their marriage. In my opinion, your confidence, joy and glow on that day cannot be outshone. Whatever you choose to wear, be comfortable, confident and happy. Even if a guest like let them wear wedding gown, it is still not their wedding. They might steal attention for a bit but the couple still has the most attention. And besides who even stares at the bride the entire time. You only watch her enter the church, hall, first dance, maybe cake, throw bouquet thats it. the rest of the time is spent checking out other guests or talking. Brides to be abeg relax jare. Guests dar is God o! Kpachara anya gi o

  30. baboushka

    July 3, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    The only way a guest can outshine a bride is if they came wearing a full on wedding gown with a veil as well. I mean how does a guest outshine someone that all eyes are on the center of the event the center of everything? It takes an insecure bride with low self esteem issues to feel outshined by her guests.

  31. 1 + The One

    July 3, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    I blame #asoebibella LOL.. Like someone said earlier, that is THE destination Haha..
    Ok, on a serious note, sometimes I see wedding guests in their outfits and I am like ‘ahn ahn, cool down now, is it your wedding?’..
    We should actually have that hashtag to discourage over-dressed guests at weddings. When we see such pictures, just hashtag #IsItYourWedding? hehehe

    • Jane Public

      July 3, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      #whoseweddingisitanyway

    • Berry Dakara

      July 3, 2014 at 3:19 pm

      Cosigning!!!!!!!!!!!! #IsItYourWedding

    • Fabulicious

      July 4, 2014 at 11:20 am

      OMG…hahahahaBerry I love this and I will start it as well #Isityourwedding…..

    • cc

      July 3, 2014 at 5:09 pm

      Yesssss lol lol I agree #IsItYourWedding?
      I will be using this!

  32. gbemsy

    July 3, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    lol

  33. xoxo

    July 3, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    My maid of honor really wanted to where white on my wedding day even after we already chose blue as the color of her dress, and it didn’t help that the white dress she wanted to wear looked bridal. Mehn!! i put my feet down oh! If she was a guest, i would have been OK with it. Knowing that she would have been by my side the whole day , hair and make up done, and in white, i just had to say NO!
    Why would you want to outshine the bride on her day?

    • Iris

      July 3, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      OK this kind of thing gets on my damn nerves. If you’ve graciously agreed to be on my train, be gracious enough to understand that when it comes to the outfit you only have an opinion to a certain degree. You’re there primarily to be supportive and be my friend. My job is to try to pick an outfit that makes you look hot (or not if I’m an evil bride). Your job is to accept my final decision, put away your misgivings, and wear it with a smile. Maid of Honour wearing white ko. Is it your wedding? You can wear a white dress with a foot-long train to work the rest of the 364 days of the year if you want.

    • Que

      July 3, 2014 at 5:38 pm

      Yeah, and that evil bride thing (deliberate or not) gets on my damn nerves…..cos honey, I will quietly ditch d train even a day to d wedding if its ur plan to make me look like a fool (not to even think about photos that will capture dat look for life) .. brides must take decisions with empathy, not strict selfishness…. ur bridesmaids are grown ladies too…. .Trust me I wont even feel any heat after nicely declining….anyway, my closest friends know this already so I’m not worried..

  34. mrs chidukane

    July 3, 2014 at 3:11 pm

    Girls are trying way too hard. There’s nothing wrong with being well dressed at a wedding but some girls spend so much and this should be discouraged. At the P square and Anita wedding in ph,the brides friends were on point. Makeup done,everything 100.In fact, so on point that all they did was hustle for selfies with the bride, not 1 sprayed her One naira or gave her any present. At least I didn’t see any but how will you when you’ve spent plenty money to buy asoebi, 5k on makeup and gele,10k on shoe and bag ,15k on bead jewelry and 3k on cab to get there.When there’s no guarantee that your market will even sell there?
    Please Ladies let’s learn to be wise in spending and look good on a budget

    • cc

      July 3, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      Amennn ooo!!!!!

    • Janey

      July 3, 2014 at 9:53 pm

      Makeup at shomya studios is 10k, 1500k for Gele.

  35. Metche

    July 3, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    No matter how you dress, nobody will outshine me on my wedding day. The fact that it is your wedding makes anything you put on to be different and looks very good on you.

  36. http://gistville.com

    July 3, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    Yes. Wedding guests are taking it too far. Everyone wants to land in the next #AsoEbiBella. Its okay to look gorgeous and glamorous for a wedding but not with the thigh high slits, overly exposed cleavage and all. No one can outshine the bride but please respect yourselves at people’s wedding, biko or i might just wear a bikini to your wedding if you come dressed that way to mine.

  37. BellaNaija.com

    July 3, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    @janepublic. Thanks so much for your detailed feedback on the site. We have saved it and it will be valuable to us as we continue to work on improving user experience on our new site.

    • Jane Public

      July 3, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      You are welcome. I hope you guys see it as constructive criticism o. I have much love and respect for what you guys do

  38. Steph

    July 3, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    BN, I would say truly some brides can b outshined and some can not! Someone like me no matter how u tried in fact go give MAI ur dress to make u can never outshine me. Its my day, some of us just gat b one badass bride, I may look rily simple but u can’t outshine my natural glow! I think everyone wanna make it to BN asoebi too (lol yes BN u r part of the wahala hehehe…) Saw a bride and her frd in IG d other day menhhhh I felt bad for d bride, her frd’s necklace bead was huge and breathtaking and d bride just had d regular bridal bead tin on…. Oh well I will like to say in as much as I want my guest to look really nice and lovely, everything has to b done in MODERATION. I know my frds den no dey hear word but hey they know better as well lol its my wedding and I’m gonna b in charge of it all! U wear backless, super deep cut v neckline, ur dress just below ur bum…haaaa sister its my wedding not a club, u wanna come dey distract everybody huh, d kin bad eyes way I go take carry u hen, u self no go fit waka straight agn lol, ama ask u ma, who sent u??? hehehe all jokes guys. like I said earlier moderation is all we need nd we all can keep calm nd enjoy d day in peace. BN my love for una hennnn, u b keeping it real!

    • Steph

      July 3, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      *On IG. Lol I get tym.

  39. Omo1

    July 3, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    Some people go to weddings mainly with the view to outshine..the way you see some girls scout for dresses for a wedding invite, even the one with a ”mo gbo mo ya” invite.. you will marvel..some don’t even personally know either of the celebrants cause them just they ”accompany” their friend. Who they want to outshine I don’t know, if its the bride or all other female guests at the wedding..but then..that’s none of my business tho!

  40. Meh

    July 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    A very wise lady once said you only need a few things for a wedding 1. Priest/ official 2. Witnesses x 2 3.rings . #tooweakfordrama

    • Annie

      July 4, 2014 at 10:30 am

      hail the wise lady for me, might just as well do that and save for a good honey moon joor, plus babies will come and i need me some money…all shiners should go shinning else where..

  41. Meh

    July 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    Oh and naturally a groom (goes without saying) lol

  42. ozioma

    July 3, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    First of all.. who dash monkey banana? On my day, my bridesmaid will be looking beautiful but I will be looking bomb! I’ll give them beautiful dresses that will complete their curves and also be tasteful but I swear ehhh, anyone that tries to shoe up looking like Rihanna (naked) will be thrown out. They are there to celebrate with me not outshine me

  43. i.e

    July 3, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Lol..females these days stay competing with each other..it is sad…n with social media now…everyone wants to do it for the gram..

    • toyin olaleye

      July 3, 2014 at 8:09 pm

      I aint gonna do it …lol.. sorry had to do that

  44. baby

    July 3, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    For my wedding, I intentionally picked my friends that had lovely shapes, n their dresses were really nice n hawt!!! But that didnt stop me from lookin nice & seeing my bridal train made me excited esp in my album. My guests looked really good too. But guess what? No1 could outshine me cz for that day I was THE BRIDE & the attention was on me. I dont appreciate wen guests look dull at a weddin, its nt a burial…look classy!!!

    For some guests that expose their private parts, lol, I ‘think’ sometimes they end up sittin down all through cz dey are uncomfortable. But woteva sha, no guest can make herself the bride.

  45. makeupbyebi

    July 3, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    oh this one hot topic! I love seeing fabulously dressed people. I did not mind who or who wore what! For my wedding, it was a free dress what you want thing 🙂 and cos its my wedding i ensured i remained the bride so visible no doubting 🙂

  46. Funke

    July 3, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    The wedding guests that wear dresses with a train kill me. Haba, #IsItYourWedding?
    It really is getting ridiculous. Such vainness with nigerian girls.

    • laila

      July 3, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      @funke, please what is wrong with wearing a dress with a train. It is very elegant.

    • fre

      July 3, 2014 at 5:55 pm

      lol. A dress with a train to someone’s wedding though. LOL. Wait for yours, or a dinner

    • Emem

      July 3, 2014 at 4:59 pm

      Lol @is it your wedding? Truly vain.

  47. DOW

    July 3, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)) =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)) .I think it depends on the kind of friends u have.I got married 3 months ago and I was the Star on both days.My friends looked elegant and classy.Gone through the pictures and videos and I was proud of my girls.Most times,it’s really difficult to outshine d glow that comes from the joy of marrying ur best friend.

  48. laila

    July 3, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    I have read through the comments and I didnt see anyone admit to being one of OVERDRESSED guests. Well, I admit it.
    I do not attend weddings or engagements without getting my weave freshly done and blown out. Makeup slayed by Shomya. Brand new dress or fresh asoebi by Frock It Rock It or Phunk Afrique.
    Who wants to carry last? Brides need to stop being insecure please.

    • Que

      July 3, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      #aslongasitsyourmoney! Enjoy! Rock it, don’t get broke while at it….

    • 1 + The One

      July 4, 2014 at 9:08 am

      #Isityourwedding though? Haha

  49. fre

    July 3, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    Yes!!! They’ve taken it too far.
    My friend got married early this year and the night before she was talking to me about her fears that some of the bridesmaids will be late for the church service ‘cos they were trying to get ready. That she didn’t understand why they had to bother so much about themselves and forget why they were dressing up in the first place.
    It’s not about insecurity. Why would a GUEST spend so much on her dress, makeup and all. It’s not your wedding.

  50. ButWhyNot

    July 3, 2014 at 5:46 pm

    Personally, I don’t see what’s wrong with being well dressed for a wedding, whatever “well-dressed” may mean for each individual. For some people, a simple dress with simple adornments does it. Good for you. For others, an elaborate dress with a train and all sorts of bells and whistles makes them feel like they’re looking on point. Good for then too. I say, wear what makes you happy (as long as it’s not all white). A wedding is the bride’s day. Nobody can outshine her. It’s up to her to ensure she wears the dress that she feels best in, regardless of what anybody else is wearing. So how about we stop setting rules and restrictions around what people can and cannot wear (except the all white) and let guests look good and maybe find their own special someone or just step out looking fine and having a good time. If I want to wear a ball gown, I will. I’m not trying to steal any show, I just have certain standards for how I look when I go to events. I won’t judge you if you wear something frumpy that I would never be seen in, so don’t judge me for being fabulous. Just my two cents.

    • Que

      July 3, 2014 at 6:06 pm

      ‘…so dont judge me for looking fabulous…’ Nuffsaid.

  51. fre

    July 3, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    No one’s saying yall shouldn’t look good, but why would you wan to spend on makeup every other Saturday you have a wedding to attend.
    I think thanks to Instagram in part, it’s turning into some sort of competition or affirmation. Your hashtag has to contain something in the lines of #FaceBeatByShoMya dress by #TopeFnR. The brands with large following get to repost and they get more followers/exposure.
    And not to mention the single ladies trying to increase their chances of getting Mr right (I’m single btw, before I’m accused of hating on single ladies). No one wants to carry last or feel left out.
    Anyhoooo……………simple is classy

    • Koko Moet

      July 14, 2014 at 6:43 pm

      #Isityourmoney?

  52. fre

    July 3, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    I loooove to look good, even if I’m going to the corner store, but I wouldn’t be fixing my lashes every saturday for a wedding. I’ll leave that for the bride.
    And for the ones that wear glittery (flowing or mini) white dresses……????

  53. Que

    July 3, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    Well my own 2cents is that society generally get wahala…. why all d police watching out for who is outshining bride….are u jobless? And honestly when I hear people attacking people who wear any form of white simply cos its against tradition bla bla bla, I wonder what d fuss is for…. if we check it a lot of d tradition has gone out d window…..brides wore white as a symbol of purity…..more than three quaters of our brides now have been shaggin for ages n championships….then on d wedding day we go run enter white, come begin use custom and tradition cause fight. ?..#isipmytea, zip my mouth n look away.

    Honestly, wear what u can afford, even let B.Meshida be on ur speed dial, more grease to ur elbow! …..d only issue I have is looking like u rolled off a Beyoncé stage performance (aka showing up in pant, breast n ass all out, etc) to d wedding….. its this one I think pple shld even worry about

    #Teamlooksmashingalldayeveryday! No time to police my wedding! I save my energy for dancing the day away….just wear what u can dance well in n join us on the floor!

    • Que

      July 3, 2014 at 6:11 pm

      BN I’m so grateful the era of always having to retype my details(name, email) for every comment is behind us….Amen!

  54. A Bili

    July 3, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    It is only a bride/ groom with a complex that would be worried about being out shined. It is your day and all the attention would be on you.

  55. Doxa

    July 3, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Brides (to-be) please, what if you aren’t wearing white (maybe ivory or champagne or cream), will you still vex if a guest shows up wearing all white?

  56. Smh

    July 3, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    It is the bride’s responsibility to accept and anticipate guests to shine shine- you know the type of people you’ve invited. It is a sign of respect when your wedding breaks the bank! It’s true, a guest wearing white is tacky. Step up your game; but that’s none of my business tho!

  57. BeautifullnsideandoutL

    July 3, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    It’s not even a thought that ever occurred to me! And when that time comes, I won’t even think about it twice whether some guest will be trying to outshine me! It’s silly for guests that purposely try to outshine and like someone said a bride worrying over that could have insecurities. What somebody looks like or wears will not determine whether I feel beautiful or not on my day or any other day! Gbam!

  58. complex

    July 3, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    people have complex kilode

    better still do “parlour wedding” where no one will even come than say people shouldn’t dress to their taste.

    I know people who overdress even in their house without going out- how much more when they wanna go out.

    Even if you wowo pass suliyat man ayetoro kan, all the focus, the attention and d cameras….on you.

    complex is a disease. deal with it

  59. babygiwa

    July 3, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    I dress gorgeously for weddings!!! Brides should step up pleaseeeeee

  60. ogechidadiva

    July 3, 2014 at 8:37 pm

    Natural glow kwa? smh! move with the times please. Any bride who is still contemplating whether or not to get her face beat to the gawds or hair slayed to the heavens is very dull! People will not and should not tone it down so that you can stand out, You need to step up….your guests are paying as much as 20k to look fly while you are still begging your cousin to collect 5naira, are you joking?
    Looking fly, whether to a wedding or to work or a damned funeral happens to be a way of life for some of us….it comes naturally, and I won’t have a headache just because….
    However, to my struggling sisters, my thirsty sisters, my keeping up with the kardashians sisters….I say, be wise….calm down, don’t break the bank or prostitute just so you can sell market biko.
    Finally, any form of nudity, be it semi, half, or partial is trashy anyday, anytime!

  61. ogechidadiva

    July 3, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    For own my wedding day though, If you like wear white like cele…..na you sabi, wear 25strand pearl necklace with 10 brooches…na you sabi….Tear your cloth to your bum bum in the name of slit…..na you sabi…..Paint ya face and nack riri woo……na you sabi…truth is You still can’t outshine me…I’ve been outshining babes since the 90’s. I know whats up. Best believe my beads will be longer by 2 strands, it will bling by 2 extra brooches, and my face will be on fire! From my undergarments to my nails, damn!…..It’s my bloody wedding and no one can outshine me. I won’t even lose sleep on whether you’re wearing white with a train. I’m too prepared and confident! Peradventure you somehow outshine me, I’ll simply kiss you on the cheek…that’s the sign for the bodyguards to make you disappear……….I’ve got this!

    • bee

      July 4, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      woohoo!you gotta be one crazy girl!ur comment is fire loools

  62. Omotola

    July 3, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    Sorry to admit, but I am one of those guest that think ‘I must outshine the bride’ when I’m getting dressed for a wedding. I only go to weddings I MUST attend(close friends, relatives etc) so when I do, I go ALL out! Makeup & gele professionally tied etc

    Now before you all flog me with abuse, all I mean by this is that I already know I can never outshine the bride because it is HER day! But for me it just means to look the best I possible can, as the Bride would naturally look the best anyway.

    Brides should stop being so insecure, nobody and I mean nobody can steal your shine that day. Even guest that wear dresses with super long slits, low backs and revealing cleavage never actually outshine the bride,because those features are not usually on a wedding dress. Instead they usually look desperate and tacky

  63. Peepa

    July 3, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    I think every guests should be free to wear whatever. The bride will always be the center of attention….

  64. Debee!

    July 3, 2014 at 10:21 pm

    but let’s face it, these guests are overdoing it.

  65. unimpressed

    July 3, 2014 at 11:08 pm

    im a bridesmaid now and i wish id turned down the offer to be a bridesmaid. the bride is doing everything in her power to ensure the bridesmaids look as ugly as possible

    • F

      July 3, 2014 at 11:19 pm

      Politely disagree with her. Only a bad and insecure friend will do that to her bridesmaids.

  66. Oma

    July 3, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    Nawa for some Nigerians sha,we always don’t like to carry last in whatever we do shaaa!!! Even though I’ve been paid to be a bridesmaid, i’m totally not in support of it at all,why should I pay someone to be among my train? Secondly, the over dressing part,i feel some people do it purposely not only to outshine the bride but also outshine the hot singles there especially females and that’s another stupidity because as someone said all eyes will be on her whether for good or bad,the event planners are all seeking to please her,the photographers,caterers,guards,etc so why bother. The highest you could achieve there is meet your future hubby or appear on #AsoEbiBella……..

  67. Oma

    July 3, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    These days,the guests be steady overdoing it mehn!!!

  68. F

    July 3, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    Recently got married and I can honestly say that all I noticed was the sea of aso ebi and how well the colours matched. When I saw guests with lovely outfits, I complimented them. How can any bride feel threatened on her wedding day? She has been payed the greatest compliment by having people celebrate that day with her. If you are truly marrying someone you love, you will be so happy that you don’t notice a thing….

  69. Gorgeous

    July 4, 2014 at 5:20 am

    Lol. Even if I wear a trash bag, u will look damn hot. I have one of that kind of figure. That being said, I wonder how much time and energy a bride has to focus on what her guests are wearing.

  70. darmey

    July 4, 2014 at 7:23 am

    Pls dnt outshine d bride…….nt fair or funny

  71. Ama

    July 4, 2014 at 8:09 am

    Lol. This topic though. It’s sad when someone wants to show up at ur wedding revealing cleavage and all.. To attract who please? For my trad,I specifically told my girls that whatever style they choose to sew should be modest.it’s not all about being insecure. My other friends,family members, church members, pastors where going to be there. Seeing the way my friends are dressed says alot about me too. For my white, my bridesmaids were elegantly dressed in a flowing gown, exposing no body parts and they looked gorgeous. I didn’t really care about what everyone else wore..as long as those who were going to share a part of the spotlight with me where looking great, I was good. Ladies don’t show up at someone’s wedding looking all uncovered, attracting attention in the wrong way. U won’t even get a reasonable man that way.

  72. omotee

    July 4, 2014 at 9:35 am

    No guest can ever outshine the bride. If u like wear a wedding dress to someones wedding. Everyone will notice u as the demented attention seeker who thot it was her wedding. When the time comes you shall not be the one to be joined to the groom. Of cos am hoping nobody will be crazy enough to wear a flowing white dress to a wedding. But na small small e dey take start. Like silly trains on their dresses. Trend will graduate and people will go heck let’s just all dress like the bride. I hope not.

    I am all for guests looking fan and glam, you don’t want to be seeing razz people in your video and photos. My issue is usually with ladies who wear huge and dramatic beads for grads. Baba now. Spare a that for the bride now. And kudos to all those people who spend 20k for makeup and gele to someone else’s wedding, alaseju.

    Let’s be glad but apply our brains. Thank u.

  73. omotee

    July 4, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Gosh I meant glam and fab. Let’s be glam and fab. Before English will start.

  74. Fabulicious

    July 4, 2014 at 11:13 am

    5years and counting,I have always been the prim and proper one among my friends and that has nothing to do with being holy,it’s just my decision to be conservative and chic….So even on my wedding day,my friends all teased saying don’t wear or sew what will embarrass Ada oooo.They all kept the boobs and high slits far away from me and I was glad we had an understanding…Fastforward to present weddings and all I see these days are ladies whose intentions are just to look good but come across as being desperate or trying too hard.

  75. bee

    July 4, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    #aso ebi bella,helping Naija babes unmask their vanity since 1806# the summary of the matter is that we are too vain a people,most of those people have not even paid for their aso ebi o,as at the couple’s first naming ceremony they would still be owing!chai there is God o…..

  76. Na Wa

    July 4, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    Nigerians overdo everything. Theyre the only ones I know that would spend more than the bride herself on dressing up. You need to see my Americana’s going to a wedding or even the British. Very simple and not overdone. But no in nigeria, they must look like the queen of the day. Superficial lot. Yet after all the effort, they are forgotten. Some even go back to hustling to get the money they spent back.

    PS…I’m not bitter. Just can’t understand the desperation of nigerians to prove their worth financially. You don’t need to prove to people what you have or who you are, they should see it in you.

  77. Oma

    July 4, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    LMAO!!!!! @Omotee,So true! Awon alaseju committee. @Bee,i’m also still trying to understand why people will be living such fake lives,appearing on AsoEbiBella when they’re owing like 25k for sumn they couldn’t even afford….
    @NaWa, you’re not bitter dear,its the truth ohhh.
    I’ve made up my mind bikooo,if you’re not my cousin /close friend or I haven’t known you for more than 5years, abeg no bridal train or asoebi bikoo

  78. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    July 5, 2014 at 12:22 am

    Some females are discontent and lead such sad, desperate lives. You rarely ever appreciate yourself or live in the moment. You don’t enjoy yourself anywhere you are. Whether at work or at a party or at the church you are constantly comparing, condemning and desiring, imaging yourself in that girls shoe or with her purse, boobs, gele, height or her face sef. You have the talent of making a compliment such as “You look good” sound like an accusation. Despite the many trips to the tailor, the browsing on sites to find killer styles, the endless hours with the make up artiste to achieve that classy look, you are never truly satisfied.
    Whether you are a bride worried about being upstaged or a bona fide invited guest or a waka come, does it not say all kinds of nasty about you when no one is permitted to look good except you?

    Being a woman is beautiful. There are so many ways to luxuriate and bask in our feminity. Each individual is uniquely blessed by God and we would always love to show off that part of us that fetches us piles of compliments and thank God for parties because we love any excuse to shop and dress up. Be genuinely happy when another female looks great, it takes a lot of poison out of your system. A woman should be beautiful, classy and confident and this extends to observing basic social ethics, her social relations and interactions which in this case would mean respecting the occasion and the celebrants.Those who go to parties simply to dominate are simply inferior. The best way inferiority complex displays itself is by acts of superiority, and believe me, its a blatant display of your overcompensation. You are never happy unless you have an audience to acknowledge your existence. You are not enough by yourself because you are greedy, calculating and low. And for those who feel like someone is trying to steal their thunder: You chose your outfit. Stick with it and make merry like hell.

    I apologize for the lack of levity in this comment but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles

  79. Uju

    July 5, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    Hmmm…….I personally think the society is sick. I think there’s too much emphasis on superficial and material stuff. Lets give it a break. It’s not that serious. Thanks.

  80. Flames

    July 7, 2014 at 10:25 am

    Interesting topic. 4 brides who fear dat dey’ll be outshined by dia guests, here’s a solution: work wit ur planner 2 dim d lights in d hall n den have a bright spotlight on u n d groom-problem solved. Nice 1 @ #isiturwedding, lolz

  81. D

    July 7, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    So what makes a bride shine? is it a dress, the make up? the shoes? Nooo, it is the confidence and joy that comes from the within. Infact the last thing you want as a bride is to have a dress that wears you instead of you wearing the dress, that is, people are focusing on the dress and not on you. So this made me look back at my own wedding, I honestly could not tell you what even my parents or in-laws wore but for the pictures because my eyes was on one person alone the traditional and church wedding and that was my husband. I don’t even know what food was served or not served or whatever.
    Yes, for those mean brides that feel their bridesmaids are their to dress in frompy and ugly dresses so they can “shine” that shows you have issues and shows a height of insecurity. if you like come in bra and panties….na you know….aint nobody got time for that.

  82. Ruth Joseph

    July 8, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    So what makes a bride shine? is it a dress, the make up? the shoes? Nooo, it is the confidence and joy that comes from the within. Infact the last thing you want as a bride is to have a dress that wears you instead of you wearing the dress, that is, people are focusing on the dress and not on you. So this made me look back at my own wedding, I honestly could not tell you what even my parents or in-laws wore but for the pictures because my eyes was on one person alone the traditional and church wedding and that was my husband. I don’t even know what food was served or not served or whatever.
    Yes, for those mean brides that feel their bridesmaids are their to dress in frompy and ugly dresses so they can “shine” that shows you have issues and shows a height of insecurity. if you like come in bra and panties….na you know….aint nobody got time for that.

  83. Ute

    July 8, 2014 at 4:08 pm

    Na wa o! Women! We get time for unnecessary wahala sha. Why are the grooms not scared of their groomsmen outshining them? Let’s not for get grooms wear virtually the same thing with their bestmen with other groomsmen shinning in very similar outfits.
    Loosen up abegi!

  84. Is it ur party?

    July 9, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    I one met a lady in a saloon who said she doesnt go for weddings because she always dresses more than the couple,like there was a time she wore a particular dress and the couple had same on for their native she felt like OH….buh didnt leave sha because that was what she had to wear….i was just looking at her why ran her mouth.#smh.U wan dress yeah so do look ur best buh coming to out shine the couple?Is it ur party?U want attention plan a party and be the host and get the attention.#Dazall

  85. she

    July 10, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    Are you serious? That’s hilarious…. what did your friend now do? bridesmaids are meant to be your closet of family and or friends to help u out with the big day.

  86. Miss_I_No_Do_Kele_Kele

    July 10, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    I disagree with those saying don’t hire a make up artist. Many girls (myself included) don’t know how to apply make up well and yes they want to look their best because let’s face it you’ll find a lot of eligible bachelors at the weddings. I won’t front we trying to get wed too! LOL!!

  87. Pearl Olumese

    July 10, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    Well I don’t think any guest can outshine a bride cos the glow and shine of a bride is not because of what she wears or how beautiful she is,its simply because she is the BRIDE.
    Personally I would want my guests to look stunning but decent.

  88. mama

    July 11, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    It nt that i dont want my guest to look gud also, it just that recently pple can spend soo much for some1 else wedding haba na you de marry?
    And you that say it the brides day u cant outshine her but u can take attention from her kinni ya tu then? INFO TO MY FRIENDS if u dress pass me na gate u dey stop. sekana. **kidding thou** but pple dress with sense.

  89. tywoh

    July 12, 2014 at 1:01 am

    As long as its my special day n nobody else,I don’t care who wears it better!

  90. Omotola Daniel

    July 13, 2014 at 4:06 am

    Am.just toooooooo beautiful for that to even happen

  91. O'lara

    July 14, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    Loool @ #isityourwedding? We all want to look good , but the bottom line is, don’t go broke trying to look overfab for someone’s wedding, that’s just too vain and unnecessary. save the money for yours!

  92. jamila

    July 15, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    yea dia ryt. is rada i save d money buyin all dos expensive tins n payin big money fr makeup for my own day instaed of turnin to anoda tin else on a friend wedding

  93. babie

    July 15, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    I recently got married and all I remember was seeing my friends and loved ones and not anyone trying to outshine me.. A bride should be too excited to notice anyone ‘trying to outshine her’ except there are some insecurity issues.. One cant moderate what their guests wear except you put it in the I.V..lol.. Just have fun on that day and stop fretting.. You would only get married once (probably) but the ‘outshiners’ would keep doing so at every wedding till they get tired. #my two cents.

  94. fichfich

    July 18, 2014 at 10:03 am

    Ah weda u dress beta dan me or u dress lower dan me. in as much as its my day der is no way u will steal my shine. Brides should be happy day pple wore the best dey could offer cus at the end of the day u wont want to look at your pics a couple of yrs later and be like “hmmmmmm weti Cynthia or weti paul wear so…” #justsaying

  95. bkay

    September 18, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    if u like come to my weeding naked, naa me dey marry no be u…….. shikena

  96. upee

    October 22, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    I support #isityourwedding funniest thing ever

  97. Me

    June 25, 2016 at 9:15 pm

    How come almost all tge comments have about 160 likes? Is there a bug?

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