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Isio Knows Better: Cursed

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Isio-Knows-Better-May-2014-Bellanaija1-562x600I sincerely lay no claims to being more knowledgeable than anyone, but I do confess that better than I did yesterday, last year and a decade ago.

Isio Knows Better is an attempt to capture the shocking and highly entertaining conversation within myself. The conversations between my mind (the sharp witty one), my soul (the lover and the spiritual one) and my body (the playful one concerned with the more mundane things of life). She is the eternal referee between the caustic mind and the sensitive soul. This is Isio. So, here’s to making private conversations public.

Enjoy!
***
Yep, it had finally arrived- my plate of steaming hot Ofada rice with a bottle of that orange-y drink. I rubbed my palms in anticipation. This was just the way I liked it – extra pepperish meal (Pepperish, not spicy… thanks to Indian food, this distinction should be made), and an ice cold, sweet drink.  I told the mama that ran the joint that I would like a bottle of water too. She smiled with unsmiling eyes her understanding to me and then turned to her apparent grandson and barked at him to go get me water. From where I sat it was really hard not to stare up her nose, as her nostrils flared dangerously when she spoke.

“Oloshi omo jati jati! Wo oju’é langò-langò bi ago shòoshi’. Opòonu, oo’ni sh’òori’ré!”

(Wretched, useless child! Look at his big wandering eyes like church bells! Idiot, you will never do well!)

Wow. I immediately lost my appetite.

Why would anyone curse a child like that? More importantly their own blood?

Another five minutes of insults and shuffling on her seat in a corner of the joint restaurant where she held court, each passing staff of hers got a healthy dose of verbal abuse, deserving or not, she didn’t care. It was harsh, brutal and done so succinctly that it was a horror to imagine just how long she had been this way. I shuddered my revulsion, paid the bill and got up to leave.

I was born in Nigeria, have been exposed to several ethnic cultures and I have seen how our people act. We are known for many good things and a few bad ones, but one of the bad things some of us seem to do without batting an eye lid is acting upon this instinct to curse. Haba, kilode? We curse the ones who make us angry, we curse when we are angry. We curse other motorists when stuck in traffic. We curse the ones we blame for our misfortunes. We curse our aggressors’ parents, children, siblings etc. We curse anyone and anything. Some curse when they are disciplining a child, some curse their exes, their spouses, their own siblings, teachers, and their leaders. Curses curses curses! Some will even curse you when they are happy to see you.

Once I went to an event and then I bumped into an old acquaintance. She stretched her arms for a hug and squealed; “Hey useless girl! Bitch, where have you been? It’s been a long time my friend, I have missed you o!”

I hugged her back “Hello darling!” Then I whispered to her, “I know you mean well, but please don’t call me useless and bitch again, okay?” I punctuated each cheek with air kisses and looked into her eyes.

“Oh, but I call ALL my friends bitches. It is a form of endearment.” She replied haughtily.

“Good for you, and good for them, but I will rather you didn’t call me that.” I was still smiling. Ahhh, the many intrigues of the red carpet…

“Ohhhhh…” she said.

Yes exactly. Ohhhhh…

How can you wake up in the morning and decide it’s a good idea to use curse words as terms of endearment? There has got to be a better way. Maybe I am just old fashioned, but I believe that there is power in the tongue. What alarms me more is that people think that it is okay to curse someone whom they have never met, just because someone else deserves their wrath.

A woman had been dating a guy for a decade. He had kpanshed her Congo anyhow from here to the North Pole and back. In fact, dem don kpansh RAW reach Pluto sef. She has had seven abortions for him (okay maybe five, but you get the gist). He promised to marry her, but he did not. She found out from her cousin that he got married last weekend to one girl like that. Naturally. She was hurt and outraged! This is understandable.

What happens next is an outrage. It is NOT that she goes down on her knees, naked and crying to God (or whatever gods she might look to) for justice.It is not even that she curses the man who used, misled and abandoned her… it is that she goes down on her knees and curses the man’s unborn daughter. That she would suffer the same fate or a fate worse than the one her disloyal father meted to her. THAT is a tragedy. It is an outrage. The poor child; cursed and condemned, simply because of the blood that runs through her veins. Some will take it further and curse the new wife – curse her with barrenness and five decades of marital pestilence. Kai. Shege. Such harsh words, for a sin you didn’t commit.

Some people are born and just seem to be battling one mysterious issue or the other. Everything just seems so hard. Again, there is power in the tongue. If curses were bullets, people would be dropping dead like flies all over the place, often times without being able to trace the source of the shots.

I do pray that the effects of any curse that has spilled over into my life as a result of my parents offending anyone- should cease immediately. It seems like a random prayer and quite frankly I don’t know where it came from, but it just did, and I have nothing to lose by praying it, and so I do.

I advise my friends who have Dads that were sweet-talking, devilishly good-looking Casanovas that broke many hearts, to pray it too. God bless you too if your mother was the object of envy amongst many. Some people are just cruel. WHY curse the child?

Often times I read online where people disagree on something and then the next thing, one of the parties releases a barricade of curses on the other’s family and generations unborn. Something like…

“You this idiot! Shòpònò fire that useless mouth of yours, and may Ayélala wither that diseased hand of yours that you used to type that rubbish to me. Never in your useless, maggot-infested, miserable life would you amount to anything more than a mad man’s pant, and may it never be well with your family up until the 10th generation who will all die violently in the evil forest. May Ebola kill anyone who tries to reply me. Bastard!”

Na so.

Like I said, if curses were bullets…

Just because one family member of yours is busy arguing with someone online – fiam, fiam fiammmmm! You would be gifted- three bullets straight! You don die be dat.

Please let us not just learn to do to others what we want done to us, but also to say to them what we want said to us.

Why do you think people curse? What is the worst you have heard? What is the worst ever you have said to anyone? Why…?

May God have mercy on us all.

Have a truly terrific Tuesday my lovelies!

Isio De-laVega Wanogho is a Nigerian supermodel, a multi-award winning media personality and an interior architect who is a creative-expressionist at her core. She uses words, wit and her paintings to tell stories that entertain, yet convey a deeper meaning. Follow her on Instagram @isiodelavega and visit her website: http://www.idds.pro to see her professional body of work.

108 Comments

  1. chimamanda's Main Squeeze

    August 19, 2014 at 10:19 am

    While I do not tolerate disrespect like your friend did to you or that woman did to her child, I think Naija people take “curses” so seriously. Why would I ever be worried that some fool cursed me? Una too dey fear. That’s why people will blame their misfortune on curses others have rained on them. It’s not that serious. It is offensive to curse someone out, yes. But if you get cursed out, you call the person out for disrespect, not to be afraid of what may happen to you.

    As for the bitch thing, I don’t mind but it is for a select few. If I don’t know you like that (which I most likely don’t lol), don’t go there. But I stay riding for my bitches though (male and female).

    Nigerian parents just cuss out their children, no wonder the country is filled with mad people.

  2. Gbemie

    August 19, 2014 at 10:26 am

    Well said, the part I hate is when you go the market and you are haggling about price , the next thing you hear is oniranu , oloshi asawo etc (foolish,useless and asawo) like you have been fighting with them before

    • Trina

      August 19, 2014 at 5:10 pm

      Erm…doesn’t “asawo” deserve a translation? Abi you’re tryna say the English for asawo is indeed…asawo?

    • Tumzzy

      August 21, 2014 at 9:09 am

      Trina oh! Lmao.

  3. Tru

    August 19, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Ahhhhh, Isio my Tuesday delight. It’s hard to not curse when driving on Lagos roads (Lord give me grace) but the one that saddens me is the comments on social media – downright vindictive and brimming with snake venom. For instance Some people get on celebrities’ pages for the main purpose of cursing them out. I mean, why???
    And for folks who have turned cursing friends/rivals/colleagues/relatives/whatever into an art form, recall that what goes around certainly comes around.

  4. YMC

    August 19, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Isio has done it again O!!!! Beautiful, thought provoking piece! Well done girl!

  5. foo fighters

    August 19, 2014 at 10:39 am

    The most painful one is when yoruba people curse the mother of a person rather than the person that offends them. (ko ni da fun iya e, meaning “e no go better for your mama”).
    That’s because the general belief if that a persons mother is the dearest person to them.
    But why parents curse their children is beyond me; you will now spend years in deliverance ministries praying against the evil forces retarding your children’s progress.
    I also had a friend that calls me “ode” (idiot), jokingly. I warned her several times but she nor gree hear. Now when ever she calls me ode, I just reply “I’m not an ode!”. Since when has it become a form of endearment. Even all those guys that call their friends my dog, dawg, rolldawg, my bitch etc…. I nor dey.

    • Hairmillionaire

      August 20, 2014 at 12:51 am

      That person that calls you an “Ode” after you have told them on several occasions is not your friend

  6. chica

    August 19, 2014 at 10:48 am

    Isio my darling, cool write Up as Usual..….Pls ii need an advise,my Bff iiiis goin to d states for her masters lik next week,any idea what I can get her for a parting gift?somfin smal as I dnt realy earn mUch?? Tnks…

    • Iyke

      August 19, 2014 at 11:07 am

      @chica, You are already a gift! As long as you encourage him to be better, he should hold onto you and protect you. I pray that the only sunset he will remember is the one that he watched in your eyes.
      Get him a nice Pen!If he is a good man, he will appreciate it.

    • Open Sesame!

      August 19, 2014 at 11:54 am

      The BFF is a girl 🙂

    • Thatgidigirl

      August 19, 2014 at 11:58 am

      Her BFF

    • Iyke

      August 19, 2014 at 12:13 pm

      @Open Sesame! Oh, my bad!I have no idea what BFF means! (Best friend forever)? Now, that’s another issue to talk about. Does that really exist?

    • Open Sesame!

      August 19, 2014 at 12:50 pm

      Yep! They do. I’ve got one.

  7. yourstrulyblogposts.blogspot.com

    August 19, 2014 at 10:49 am

    You are not old fashioned, Isio – not at all. Cursing has become second nature to some people especially Nigerians. Sometimes, we curse without knowing it. ‘Hello, this useless Nigga’ ‘Hello, this crazy bitch’ It’s crazy how we have normalised it

  8. Evensef

    August 19, 2014 at 10:52 am

    the worst i have said – ‘your father one eye’. …which i think is green sha!

  9. some hater

    August 19, 2014 at 10:55 am

    Great Topic Isio! this is a very serious issue in Nigeria, everyone just curses like its nothing and its funny how religious we all are.

    • some hater

      August 19, 2014 at 10:56 am

      Besides is it not Peppery? I once heard Pepperish is wrong. even the spell check has underlined it here.

  10. Mademoiselle

    August 19, 2014 at 10:58 am

    My dear, this matter puzzles me very seriously! It’s like people just wake up angry, go through their day angry and go to bed angry. What a terrible cycle! We as Africans tend to be so insensitive. That woman has no idea of the trauma she is probably putting that little boy through. He is likely to grow up, not knowing otherwise, and just continue in the same way. It really is quite disturbing…. As for the woman with the abortions, mehnnnn haha! I will curse the man too if I were her o! He just turned her into okrika just like that!

  11. Iyke

    August 19, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Brilliant piece Isio!
    My opinion will be based on the underlying factors that make people curse.
    Feeling tempted to throw out the occasional curse word is fairly natural. I have been guilty myself but not in a negative way. I occasionally use them to show emphasis, I primarily use them as a vehicle to vent negative feelings/emotions sometimes.(What the Feck is wrong with you bla bla bla…..)
    Now, looking at the negative/diabolical curses which I find very upsetting among Nigerians, I believe that how you feel about that kind of cursing or if you are the one that curse like that, mirrors your attitude towards showing anger, due to frustrations, which is a very negative emotion and disturbs the mind.
    The truth is that sometimes life simply sucks. Embracing that fact is a much healthier response than willfully ignoring it and cursing when it happens. However, if swearing/cursing is one of the ways that you cope when life overwhelms you,(in this case, being dumped by someone you love, et al), I believe that you are managing just fine.
    I try as much as possible to learn how to deal with people like this ….It’s easier to pick them out especially when you are having a conversation with them or reading their comments. How they respond will tell you that they are ‘O’ blood types because they are very intense in their reactions, over-reaction even.
    I bet the heart broken lady is a ‘O’ blood type personality. If I can’t get through these types of people, I leave them to deal with their anger and frustrations.

  12. Spicey

    August 19, 2014 at 11:01 am

    LMAO!! Chaii some pple can curse. “Never in your useless, maggot-infested, miserable life would you amount to anything more than a mad man’s pant, and may it never be well with your family up until the 10th generation who will all die violently in the evil forest.” Oh my Gosh!!! – It is well with us.

    • Msblossom

      August 19, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Oooh! this one cracked me up too “You this idiot! Shòpònò fire that useless mouth of yours, and may Ayélala wither that diseased hand of yours that you used to type that rubbish to me. Never in your useless, maggot-infested, miserable life would you amount to anything more than a mad man’s pant, and may it never be well with your family up until the 10th generation who will all die violently in the evil forest. May Ebola kill anyone who tries to reply me. Bastard!”….. People can sha curse. hEAVY MIGHTY DAMNABLE WORDS, AND THEY FORGET THAT THERE IS POWER IN THE TONGUE , ACOORDING TO THE SCRIPTURES. Not that i’m guiltless tho. God help us all.

  13. Marie Antoinette

    August 19, 2014 at 11:04 am

    I hate to sound tribalistic and I love watching yoruba movies but the amount of curses in some of them are worrisome, makes me wonder if they( yorubas) actually curse like that in reality.

    Thanks Isio, I have prayed that your prayer over seven times already since I saw this post and will continue praying…makes a whole lot of sense. Life’s a mystery.

  14. TA

    August 19, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Isio de la hotness. Hmmm,you ain’t seen no cursing till you visit the great Bini Kingdom. My people can curse. As in you think you have heard it all but you are in traffic or standing in front of an angry market woman and tua Tua Tia,angry vicious curses directed at you. Really,if curses could kill sha.It used to pain me.like this that I could not curse as my mom would have none of it.Then I grew up and met full grown adults who could not

  15. memoi

    August 19, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Lol . The prayer wouldn’t hurt o. I better get to it

  16. NIRA

    August 19, 2014 at 11:06 am

    My Bible tells me than an unmerited curse has no effect. So, if you like, curse someone from here to Pluto, as long as the curse is unmerited, it shall have no effect on them. However, for those Casanovas and heart breakers, know that those curses will likely stand o! Cos you merit them o!, and remember the same God that said the soul that sinneth shall die, is the same God that said He’ll visit the sins of the fathers on the children up to the 3rd and 4th generation o! Though I believe if you pray to God, he can set you free from whatever curse placed on either parent or grandparent which might be affecting you.

  17. TA

    August 19, 2014 at 11:15 am

    Isio de la hotness. Hmmm,you ain’t seen no cursing till you visit the great Bini Kingdom. My people can curse. As in you think you have heard it all but you are in traffic or standing in front of an angry market woman and tua Tua Tia,angry vicious curses directed at you.That’s one thing I do not miss about him. Really,if curses could kill sha…it used to pain me.like this that I could not curse as my mom would have none of it.Then I grew up and met full grown adults who could not use their words unless to curse and heap insults and I was grateful to my parents There is problem I tell you. The online curse warriors,those ones are in a diff league all by themselves. Guys are usually the ones who curse while greeting each other o LoL. And it’s not just naija guys sef. The worst curse I ever heard? In Benin,there is no such thing as the worst o,New ones are added everyday and they are mostly contextual.

    • TA

      August 19, 2014 at 11:30 am

      *miss about home*

  18. Just spent an hour catching up on Isio Knows Better; read Liar Liar, After Cheating, Why Do you want to marry & a host of others. A+mazing!

    Ho Helm Gee!
    Yoruba women are especially guilty of this, they cuss every1 everywhere, kids, men, customers, conductors, even ppl they don’t know. Every1 in Lag, even those who don’t speak Yoruba know @ least 5 yoruba insults.

  19. Anonymous

    August 19, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Good read as usual. Thanks for bringing our attention to that which is gradually becoming a norm for us. I will be more careful from now on.

  20. Nat

    August 19, 2014 at 11:17 am

    The one that baffles me is the people that curse and rain abuses on others online, like how do you sit behind a computer, and totally curse out people you have no idea how they look like so effortlessly, ha I fear online curses o.
    I grew up in an environment where insults/curses were never tolerated, no wonder I was seriously beaten in secondary school, because when senior girls insulted me I was always very quick to call them out, and let them know I wasn’t whatever they called me. But I learnt to keep quiet the hard way though, after I chopped too much flogging and punishment and was always called “rude”.
    I think these days people think it is normal to just curse and not give a second thought to it, the one I can’t stand people calling me is the “B” word, honestly I will literally slap anyone even a friend who calls me that, jokingly or not, it is highly disrespectful. I know personally words like “ode” and “yeye” have stuck with me but I am making conscious efforts to stop using them on people (people being my closest friends) as they are the only ones I use such on. But we must honestly do better as a people.
    How a mother will look at her child and comfortably call the child “ole”, “omo jati jati” etc is just beyond me. These things have effects on people in the long run.
    It is just that in African societies, we play down things like depression and mental illness, but I will think that with all the curses and insults kids receive, It leads to all these conditions we keep binding and casting out of people and add low self esteem and non existent self confidence to that as well.

  21. Loulou

    August 19, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Hehehehehe, Isio o, you had me laughing and nodding my head in acceptance cos you are so right. And you sef come add ebola join the all the curses, na the master ghenghen be that o! As usual, nice write up….
    And its really not normal, but people just feel like its ok to curse,abeg it is not. And my people can curse no be small, Yoruba i hail o!!!!!!!!!!!!! I heard some boys talking about football the other day and they were calling themselves such horrible names like “were”, “oloshi”, “oloriburuku” with joy o, and am wondering how that was ok to them!
    I will not be called any derogatory name o,like u did that your friend is exactly what i do too. I don’t even like to be called baby not to talk of useless bitch, dapada!!! I try not to curse cos there is power in the tongue, so please i rebuke all such curses that has been said to me before or after i was born in Jesus name, Amen!!

  22. Springsteps

    August 19, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Isio you are so right when you say there is power in the tongue. That is the power of life and death. i would rather speak life to my loved ones and future kids. Look at pastor Adeboye today,when he was growing up and he did little things for his mum or parents, she wld say; men will struggle to favor u and when u call , a thousand shall answer.

    Today he is a favoured man amongst millions. Parents and wards pls bless instead of cursing.

  23. sadidy

    August 19, 2014 at 11:29 am

    LMAO. this was a truly entertaining and insightful read with the usual dose of Isio humour. the bible is clear ”the power of life and death are in the tongue” this should let us know that whatever we say is very powerful. sometimes, we even curse ourselves, saying negative things. nowadays, i try to watch my speech and even my thoughts too because the same good book says we should guard our hearts. each day is a battle but God will help us.
    BTW, Isio, you are such a fantastic writer, i look forward to your tuesday articles lately.
    beautiful with brains. you are blessed my dear.

  24. Tiki

    August 19, 2014 at 11:29 am

    I’ve cursed a close friend who scammed me and made away with my money. The curse? for as long as she owes me even a kobo, she and her husband will never have financial stability. Their businesses will fail, they will be unable to even pay rent or feed/educate their children, and any luck that mysteriously locates them will depart before it can leave any lasting effect!

    • Iyke

      August 19, 2014 at 11:37 am

      That was mean! Anger is heavy ..Let it go!

    • tallgal

      August 19, 2014 at 11:55 am

      Tiki dear,pls let it go..Let the Holy Spirit Himself minister to your heart and release them..My God will surprise you in His own way

    • Pacey

      August 19, 2014 at 12:17 pm

      Even though the curse is unlikely to have any effect in reality, I like that you have been so creative in stating what your wishes for the person are. I hope you sent it to her, so that she knows exactly how you feel about her betrayal.
      Sometimes closure only comes from speaking your mind.

    • Sere

      August 19, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Hmmm… Pray to let go and forgive o! For you to pronounce your curse on BN again means it is a heavy burden in your heart. Don’t curse people o! Pray for prosperity for people who owe you and that they remember to pay your money. Is that not your stake in the matter? Plus be careful who you curse, it is also written ‘I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse’ (sayest the Lord concerning his chosen). God doesn’t have to deny her and her family because she owes you money. Anyone who curses me in this life for whatever reason, at their own risk o!

    • lily

      August 19, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      How do you expect growth in your life when you keep holding on to the past. Get on your knees and ask God to help you let go of any anger that is always springing up within you whenever those thoughts arises within you. A friend once told me that he loves when people cheats him or takes advantage of him. because he believes they are actually reminding God that he needs a miracle. I found it rather absurd for one to be thinking in this manner but it is the truth. Sister you are too beautiful and so blessed to hold on to the wrongs people has done. Start blessing your friend and family, and feel the inner comfort and freedom it will bring to you. All is well

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 19, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      Tiki, been there with you but for me it was a mechanic in Naija who was gradually using my meagre salary to build whatever empire he was amassing for his generations. Dude would smile like his lottery ticket had come in, everytime I pulled into his “workshop” and that was it oh. My moto go dey there for dayssss and the bros will be calling me as each one passed with an expanding bill of what I owe for all he’s had to repair/replace.

      Matters got to a head after one episode of not having my car back for a week; I had spent the most stressful day at work, which culminated with having to hop on a bike in the middle of a Port Harcourt thunderstorm to make my miserable way home. Na so I march enter room, “knee” down and began to pray with hot tears to my God. I said, Fada!! For all that I have spent, all that I have endured in the hands of this inhuman mechanic, MAY HE NEVER HAVE PEACE until he returns my car and stops taking advantage of me. Lord, it is enough!!

      And I kid you not, the mechanic called me first thing the very next morning, to say I should come get my car, it had been fixed. My God indeed hears and the way the prayer was answered caused me to hesitate from ever praying it again since then.

      Girl, pray for the power to forgive her (although e hard, no be small) and then pray for God who sees all things, to judge what’s happened to you in His own wisdom. Don’t curse her and her hubby, though, it could end up on their children’s laps and they’ll be carrying a burden far greater than those innocents deserve.

    • Doxa

      August 19, 2014 at 2:02 pm

      It’s just money o, nothing more.

    • rowena

      August 19, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      how about blessing them with an abundance of money then cursing them to pay you a dozen fold?

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      August 19, 2014 at 2:38 pm

      Your hurt is understood, I remember once or twice cursing out of my pain. One was when my neighbor duplicated our house key, came in one Sunday afternoon, and made away with my 2 weeks old phone, my sister’s savings and fabrics. I cursed him from my pain, and said he would run mad in 3 days. My mum later told me she really expected him to run mad because such was the venom and pain from which I spoke. Several phones, fabrics and savings later, we now talk about it and laugh. I don’t know where he is, but I hope Jesus finds him and saves him.
      It takes a some level of cray cray, and free spiritedness, but If you cant learn to laugh from your pain, from what then can you laugh.

    • Vortex

      August 19, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      Only you (and maybe your friend) can say exactly how much and in what manner… Still, you need to let that go but if you must stay angry that’s fine, you’re only human. What isn’t fine is the fact that you went ahead to curse not just her but her husband and then you dragged their innocent kids into it. No education, no food? C’mon, you can do better. I shudder to think what kind of curse(s) you would place on someone who commits a much bigger offence. This is (from what you wrote) just money oh..
      This article just nailed something I’ve been on about for a while now. Before we go about cursing people, let’s be mindful of the fact that certain people also have their own curses or “prayers” which they say in advance for people who curse or may want to curse them! The curses on families and generations of an offender are just unnecessary abeg. If cursing brings you joy then face the offender alone squarely and leave out family members and generations (born or unborn). There IS power in the tongue and our vision as humans are limited. Someone else’s generation seems far and unrelated to you now but imagine finding out in future that one’s son, daughter, niece, nephew etc is married to the son, daughter etc of someone whose generation your very self cursed? Wouldn’t it be you who created problem for your own? In this our small and connected world, it’s all too possible. Also, would you want someone cursing you for something someone else in your family did to them? Something you maybe even had no idea about? Let’s all learn…

    • Grace

      August 19, 2014 at 5:26 pm

      I know its painful that she made away with your money but if what you have spoken to her really follows her when u stand before God n he reminds u of the persons life u destroyed with ur mouth because u were angry over money that we will leave here on earth. As hurt as u feel forgive her with all ur might n pray for her to have money to pay you. God also does miraculous debt recovery too. We have done worse to God o please get over the bitterness n forgive her sis. I vowed to respond in God’s love no matter what anyone does n the freedom I experience since I made such decision s wonderful

    • Haba!

      August 19, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      You need to take a zillion seats back & let it go. How’s she even going to repay you back when you’ve cursed like that..be sure what you said to her could be turn around someday. It’s called karma. People with this much hatred just makes the world gloomy…haba.

    • iya

      August 20, 2014 at 10:55 am

      TK…..here i am stalking you again….hahahhahaha[in my devil laugh voice].

  25. Iyke

    August 19, 2014 at 11:36 am

    Brilliant piece Isio!
    My opinion will be based on the underlying factors that make people curse.
    Feeling tempted to throw out the occasional curse word is fairly natural. I have been guilty myself but not in a negative way. I occasionally use them to show emphasis, I primarily use them as a vehicle to vent negative feelings/emotions sometimes.(What the Feck is wrong with you bla bla bla…..)
    Now, looking at the negative/diabolical curses which I find very upsetting among Nigerians, I believe that how you feel about that kind of cursing or if you are the one that curse like that, mirrors your attitude towards showing anger, due to frustrations, which is a very negative emotion and disturbs the mind.
    The truth is that sometimes life simply sucks. Embracing that fact is a much healthier response than willfully ignoring it and cursing when it happens. However, if swearing/cursing is one of the ways that you cope when life overwhelms you,(in this case, being dumped by someone you love, et al), I believe that you are managing just fine.
    I try as much as possible to learn how to deal with people like this ….It’s easier to pick them out especially when you are having a conversation with them or reading their comments. How they respond will tell you that they are ‘O’ blood types because they are very intense in their reactions, over-reaction even.
    I bet the heart broken lady is a ‘O’ blood type personality. If I can’t get through these types of people, I leave them to deal with their anger and frustrations.

  26. pipi

    August 19, 2014 at 11:42 am

    the bitch thing shocks me everytime! how can u in ur right mind call urself a bitch!! #baddestbitchindablock #crazybitchada# #sexyandhotdisbitchdntcurr# …… the names people call themselves on instagram and bbm…..

  27. lollly

    August 19, 2014 at 11:47 am

    true curses have become a ‘norm’ and most often, we curse witout meaning it. however, what amazes me is how some parents go about cursing their children….even if things were hard and they are somewhat frustrated, why take it out on innocent children???
    cures sha…. but i do abuse (you are mad, idiot, stupid man) the danfo drivers…they sure know how to frustrate motorists.

  28. shay shay

    August 19, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Road rage aka curses-on-the-go!!! but most times after blurting God punish you/God punish your father/May you die before you reach your destination..(choi..how bad it all sounds now that i write it down *le sigh)…i follow it up with astaghfirullah (May Allah forgive me)! Unfortunately, i am cursing again less than 30seconds later. I will change InshaAllah.

    • eesha

      August 19, 2014 at 5:52 pm

      OMG, shay shay exactly what i do too, the astagafirullah is almost like a reflex, i say it as soon as i say a bad language.

  29. Bumsylaw

    August 19, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Lovely.
    Ayelala, last time I heard that word was JSS3.
    I am Yoruba and I think the Ijesa people are most guilty among my tribe. They can so use shopono to kill anyone.

    • blah blah

      August 19, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      You got that right! My mom is Ijesa and they can sooooo curse. She told me stories of how relatives got woken up with curses in the morning. My mom doesn’t though. Worse thing she ever called me was naughty. And it was don’t be naughty. what I don’t get is how fathers look at their children and say omo ale (bastard) and how mothers would say you would never succeed. You might as well be cursing yourself.

    • TA

      August 19, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      Only Ayelala? Bini people use Ogun,Isango (Sango in Yoruba) ,Orunmila etc in cursing. As in you go tire.

  30. patience da don gongon

    August 19, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    As usual isio, an insight and beautifully written piece, but really, calling a friend ‘bitch’ or ‘useless’ may not be such a bad thing. Its largely societal and depends on how da use of such words are perceived in dat society

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      August 19, 2014 at 1:38 pm

      Between close friends, there may be an acceptable usage of some “choice” words. I remember once a grand uncle saw my dad after a really long time, and in all his amazing proper British accent, delightfully exclaimed with a loud laugh and a beaming smile, “You bloody old fool”

      I also remember an episode of Brothers and Sisters where Ally Mcbeals’ character called her brother a “Whore” and he responded by calling her a “Bitch” and it was said with such impassioned fondness you only find between people who have such comfort level with each other, Such words (and worse) have absolutely no meaning in their scheme of things.

      I also remember in Uni, when my neighbor’s (male) came visiting. On sighting him on the bike from afar, my neighbor started screaming Were! Were! (mad man) running down the stairs and giving the guy a big hug before the bike even stopped. He was the happiest guy in curse land as he proceeded to land one joyful invective after the other on his friend and the other responded likewise.

      When my sisters call or see each other after a while, they talk excitedly and call each other Cockroach.. As much as I hate cockroaches, that word bring a smile to my face whenever I hear it because of my sisters. Its never really the words, in these cases, its an expression that embodies the warmth, appreciation and joy received from the relationship.

    • jcsgrl

      August 19, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      LMAO your story is soo funny. Reminds me of my dad and some of his friends. They start off convos by abusing each other. Once they call each other on the phone, dad says “Bia onye iberibe a. (come you stupid boy). The other will respond, “onye nzuzu ano m ya (foolish one, I’m ok) and they will go back and forth with each other even in their ripe old age. Sometimes I just look at them and smh. Na wa for una friendship o! They have backbone bcos a sensitive person cannot handle it. Even my mom that is a bundle of sensitivity shivers at their convos and she goes abeg no try this one on me o

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      August 19, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      *neighbors male friend
      *gave

    • Dunni O

      August 19, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      Hi @bobosteke could you please send me an email. [email protected]. You wrote something about books some time ago, driving myself crazy trying to find the post. Don’t worry it is me not a yahoo account or something. Just wanted to ask where and some books i can only remember half of their names. Thanks

  31. Cee

    August 19, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Nudging us back, may we consciously decide that this “almost norm” for almost it is, will not be… Salut’

  32. Omolara

    August 19, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Beautiful piece Isio.
    You have a fan here.

  33. AAA Events

    August 19, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Brilliant piece. Down to earth experience.
    aaaeventsanddesign.blogspot.com

  34. oghenekaro

    August 19, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    Isio de la witty….I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU……I will always LOOOOOOOOVE YOU.

  35. Annie

    August 19, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    Proverbs 26:2… #Dasall

  36. ebony87

    August 19, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    I for one detest curses and don’t appreciate people that curse. you don’t curse or use swear words around me. It really is disturbing the way curses affect lives. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Our tongues are either disastrous weapons or channels to greatness. God help us. BTW, friend or not, nobody calls me the B word as i will slap it back into your mouth.

  37. masked

    August 19, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    Another beautiful post Isio!…cos i don’t like cursing or been abusive, i just call my friends or anyone who wrongs me “sufi” “selayon”….no idea what it means but it sounds interesting to my ears and calms me down a bit…lol

  38. Bobosteke & Lara Bian

    August 19, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    For those of us, who like me, feel compelled to empty their minds when they are angry, hurt or just for the fun of it; who have such creativity with words, we amaze ourselves with our verbal dexterity; who take pride in saying things like, “I have a very bad mouth” “I cant fight o, but don’t let me just open my mouth here” or, because we need to impress our friends “I gave it back to her on the spot, you know my mouth is very sharp na”; let me share with you this verse of the Bible with you:

    “I open my mouth with wisdom and on my tongue is the law of kindness (Proverbs 31:26)”

    We are usually contrite after, but the words have been spoken. And as much as we apologize they can never be erased. Forgiven yes, but not erased.

    “So let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6).

  39. jcsgrl

    August 19, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    Ooooh Isio my tuesday fix. As I was getting ready for work this morring and was doing a mental rundown of my to dos na so a little small voice whispered “today is Isio Knows Better” Ah! see grinning and smiling at the same time. I hastened my steps and transported myself to compurer. Thanks you sexy you!
    Ok back to topic, I try not to curse people but 3 people have been a victim of my curses and the swiftness in which the curses came baffled even me. Long story alert*. First one was to an ex who did me bad. Chai, you know one of those of insecure guys psychopaths who start out declaring love and everything else when wooing you only for you to now fall and the negro begin to show their true colors. Anywho, as sharp babe who cannot tolerate abuse of any type, I dumped him sharp sharp before dude could say jack robinson. Instead of moving on, dude goes about town painting me bad to every tom, dick and harry even to the point of even sabotaging my engagement with hubby. So when e reach that one, I got on my knees and prayed dangerous prayer. Fastforward 2 years later, I was working in Nja in a senior position and dude came to my office to look for job. As in things got bad for him in yankee that he relocated to nja and things were still bad. As he enter office to submit CV, who did he see walking out of office with messengers carrying my bag and driver pulling up my car for me to enter, ME. Shock! Awe! He thought he saw a ghost. And then to make marra worst the receptionist he wasa talking to turned to me and said “ma please do you know anything about this position? This individual is asking about it and wants to know if someone has been hired. I look am face to face and said sorry position has been filled by an expat., walked past him and entered into chauffeur-driven car that was waiting for me….he he he he The God of Justice knows whats up. Abeg bear with me for 2nd tori. The next curse was of landlord in nja who chopped my money and refused to fix what I asked him to do before I moved to nja. Dude scammed me and to make matters worse he lived in the same estate as I. So I saw him once in a while and he will pretend he didn’t see me. So I fired my dangerous prayer. Brethren, before my very before this man had accident in his brand new car he just bought. He started using taxi. From there the car was unreparable. Next thing, he lost his job. As in I was shocked. Before I came back to yankee, he has moved to his home state….things got that bad.

    • jcsgrl

      August 19, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      So third one was very recent and it hasn’t materialized shaa. Someone gave me fake documents for my car which almost led to my arrest. Hmnn brethren major embarrassment. I had to pay $$$ to get my car out and have to go to court. If found guilty, I could be facing incarceration. Anyway, I have prayed my dangerous prayer against the individual because they intentionally defrauded me. Let the justice system of heaven handle them! I shall return to finish the story later

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      August 19, 2014 at 3:37 pm

      I shall come back to comment.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      August 19, 2014 at 11:49 pm

      I shall be hiding behind Bobosteke & Lara Bian as I drop my own comment…

      Nne, this your spirit is quite strong, oh. As in Damien in “Omen” strong – remind me never to cross you… 🙂 That last scenario would have made me consider the best possible form of revenge because an undeserved brush with the law in this “abroad” is no laughing matter. However, please reconsider your curses and instead pour that pain into prayers for your own complete absolution in court. So that what you hold against the person won’t in any way block the mercy available in the heart of your accusers.

      Sincerely praying you’ll be given a way out, without any penalty, luv. Whoever that was that did that to you…. well, God has His own way of punishing them.

    • I agree...

      August 22, 2014 at 4:03 pm

      I feel you. I was just telling my sister this past week about how I have prayed some “vengeance is yours saith the lord prayers”and God has come through. But I am very careful with such prayers o. A couple of years back I was having problems at work some people were just out to get myself and my friends at work (one of us lost her job during this time due to this drama). That HR had to step in and started telling us to protect ourselves because people were on a witch hunt to get us to lose our jobs and manager was on their side too. Omo, see as I went down on my knees and prayed, prayer of Haman and Modecai on the said peoples whose names I did not have then. See has God revealed all of them and scatter all of them even to the manager. That one was needed abeg!!! People trying to take your daily bread for no apparent reason. I can give a few more examples but I will stop here.

    • Iyke

      August 19, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      @jcsgrl You should really be happy that in all these, life’s still beautiful for you. No need trample on their downfalls. That’s very childish.
      Remember, HE who angers you, controls you. Don’t worry about what bad people do to you. That’s what makes life suck …. embrace it, be wise and happy that there’s always a setting sun that never leaves you.
      Forgive!

    • Dunni O

      August 19, 2014 at 4:34 pm

      Hi @jcsgrl could you please send me an email [email protected]. It is not a yahoo account or something so you can be sure this is Dunni. Something I need to run by you. Thanks

    • jcsgrl

      August 20, 2014 at 2:02 am

      ok o!!! I don hear una. I shall retract my curses. But at least can I say “I leave you in the hands of God” or “May you reap what you have sown” That one is scriptural naa

    • Bobosteke & Lara Bian

      August 20, 2014 at 9:43 am

      Loving your enemies is a very bitter pill to swallow, mi’dear. Sometimes turning the other cheek is not what it is all cracked up to be, but herein lies God’s truth because if we could do it by ourselves we would not need him. I pray for strength for you, to make use of the grace God has made available for you and us all. Let God lead.

    • jinkelele

      August 21, 2014 at 11:59 pm

      E be like say I need that your kain prayer point biko, someone still owes me 302,000.00 for over 4years, I like this is your fast action result.

    • iya

      August 20, 2014 at 11:06 am

      how do you feel now?satisfied?hum.lol

  40. Que

    August 19, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Of the many cases that have left me very perplexed, its the reference to oneself with same curse terms that I cant get over…. all u need do is look at d hashtags……. #Bossbitch, #Bitchonaroll #Moneybitch…..etc I saw dis under pics of young ladies ( or should I say bitches) who tagged their photos dis way….. I just weak! If you’re a Boss, you dont need to be a bitch to know it!

  41. Amara

    August 19, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    “she has had seven abortions for him (okay maybe five, but you get the gist).”……looool this isio will not kill me

    • Kalabari

      August 21, 2014 at 2:02 pm

      Looool! That was funny!
      Nice topic Isio De-laVega!

  42. bass

    August 19, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    If u r ntfrustrated u wnt curse

  43. koko

    August 19, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    what about mfm people that pray with curse nko…………

  44. He deserves it

    August 19, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    I cursed a friend who raped me..told him he’d never amount to anything in life,he’d beg for help and would never get help,he’d remain useless and would know tears and pain all his life for causing me pains and tears..cursed him while he was in the act but didn’t budge,all he said was “it won’t work”..funny thing is,he’s been calling me,begging me to say a prayer for him ‘cos things aren’t going well for him,told him to go f*ck himself!

  45. ololade!

    August 19, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    isio!ya a dawling pest#coz am addicted tu ya writeups!lolz#ebola wetn#

  46. Aderonke says #Bring BackOurGirls#

    August 19, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    Beautiful write up Isio……well said! This is so true though hilarious!
    However, I think parents need to take more caution cos I don’t understand why parents should curse their children cos they are angry? I don’t just get it. It’s so wrong in every way.

  47. Evensef

    August 19, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    @ He deserves it: i know how painful this can be. he has stolen something from you. release him and let him go. let the healing begin from the inside. the Balm of Gilead will heal you completely. much ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

    • Just me

      August 29, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      @evensef, He said the curse wont work while he was on the act, yet it is working so let him continue to reap the fruit of his labour.

  48. mrs chidukane

    August 19, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    The one that gets me sha is the online curses. You make a comment on fb, twitter or a blog and people that don’t know you from Adam call you fool, prostitute, this one that one. It always shocks me to no end. Why can’t you just reply to the person’s comment and keep it moving without additional curses? Na wa oh. I call my friends ishi aki(coconut head) and ishi ukwa (breadfruit head) sha as endearment.

  49. Anonymous

    August 19, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    I have heard rumors that my grandmother was and is still a very mouthy and wicked woman in the village. She will insult every and anybody and could literally seize ur offering from your hand in church, if u owed her. We also heard that she holds a lot of curses from a lot of people she offended. Over the years, of all her children, none of her four daughters ever married, except my dad. Needless to say, my dad’s marriage to my mom has been in shams from day one. All my aunts have died in their fifties from breast cancer. They died in chronological order from youngest to oldest, exactly two years apart from each other. Fast forward to paternal cousins who are in their thirties, none of them have ever married. They have children by different men but none of them have married. Note however that all of us are educated but everybody seems to be experiencing a very hard time. Everybody in my family has some serious mysterious challenges. We have been praying, binding, casting, and fasting. No better. But I believe God will step in at the appointed time.

    Moral of this? Curses actually exist. I see it firsthand in my family everyday. Pray for me. I turn twenty five on Friday. I haven’t achieved anything I planned on achieving so far in my life ( save this story for another day). I am a physically very beautiful girl.. But every guy I’ve dated will tell me they love me, but will break up with me. Coincidentally! All my exes still communicate with me and tell me how much they love me, but they’ll rather be with another woman. It has always baffled me. Pray for me and my family. Curses really exist.

    • Ovine

      August 19, 2014 at 10:11 pm

      It is well with you, and yours. Don’t worry, God is on the throne and things will definitely turn around sooner than you expect.

    • aj

      August 19, 2014 at 10:14 pm

      awwwwwwwwwwww Happy birthday my birthday mate. God will bless you in every area of your life. I render every generational curse in your life null and void in Jesus name…Amen. Girl you are not the only one ooo. I really dont want to put myself out there but me too I’m facing a lot… a bit similar to what you are facing. God will see us through.

    • Iyke

      August 20, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      I applaud your bravery! Trust me, the Light will shine differently around you. You are wise!

    • tunmi

      August 20, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      Here is another perspective: go get tested for breast cancer. And get routine tests because of the family history there. And see a psychologist. Honestly, the mind is an amazing thing. Already you believe that your family is cursed and your mind can absolutely buy into that so much that your perspective is skewed that way. It will take work, a lot of work on your part, to see yourself in a new light. Good luck

    • Jamce

      August 25, 2014 at 9:21 am

      @Anonymous, as you have recognised that God can nullify curses through prayers so shall it be for you and your family members. The blood of Jesus prevail to nullify every curse you may have inherited or that which you may have attracted. I pray that God will restore unto you every blessing or virtue you have lost because of any curse in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

  50. Jennifer

    August 19, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Lol @ all the holier than thou comments. I’m sure some really practice what they preached here but its the same BN readers who post the harsh comments about diction, black knuckles, weddings, etc. The character assassination is based only on pictures so what if that person actually offended you? And to someone here saying she doesn’t curse but will slap if cursed, I guess you don’t see the irony. Each soul will account for every word, those who curse fellow motorists and former friends and those who denigrate anonymously online.

  51. Ololajulo

    August 19, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    A curse cause less shall not alight..

  52. Mz Socially Awkward...

    August 19, 2014 at 11:48 pm

    I shall be hiding behind Bobosteke & Lara Bian as I drop my own comment…

    Nne, this your spirit is quite strong, oh. As in Damien in “Omen” strong – remind me never to cross you… 🙂 That last scenario would have made me consider the best possible form of revenge because an undeserved brush with the law in this “abroad” is no laughing matter. However, please reconsider your curses and instead pour that pain into prayers for your own complete absolution in court. So that what you hold against the person won’t in any way block the mercy available in the heart of your accusers.

    Sincerely praying you’ll be given a way out, without any penalty, luv. Whoever that was that did that to you…. well, God has His own way of punishing them.

  53. cecilia

    August 20, 2014 at 4:02 am

    Isio you write well. I suggest that on yearly basis you put all your write ups into a book. It will sell well.

  54. iya

    August 20, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    Isio de la make my tuesdays fun! i have a friend who keeps calling me ‘fake’ no matter how hard i try to please her. yesterday i passed a very gentle message to her……………if you keep calling me that, i will show you that i am worse than chineese goods! i hope she got the message! haba! so because i am held up by sthg more important than our lunch date[and i let you know about it ahead of time] makes me fake abi?so because u cant come to my house for weekend because my mother in law called me the night before to come help her out makes me fake abi?oya, carry go, some things are just more pertinent than others at a particular time!

  55. Taye

    August 20, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    To be honest, I had a friend who called me an ‘Oniranu’ as a form of joke…me too I started cursing her but eventually stopped because – it just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. Anyways, I wouldn’t stop cursing a person because of fear of it coming true, but why be so negative???

    One of my good online curses is “Thunder fire your keyboard or internet connection ec” – wouldnt go as far as cursing their family and generations to come. It’s not that deep mehn.

    Anywho, another great read to distract me from my busy life #Back2Work

  56. cecilia

    August 20, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    @Koko MFM do not curse people but evil powers that hinder progress. To prevent them from carrying out their evil works.

  57. priscy

    August 21, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    Good read…funny how easily my friends and I curse each other idiots and goat with joy and laughter. After reading this piece, my friend called me and as soon as I picked, she said ‘idiot, how far na?’ I just replied by calling her ‘my friend my friend, i’m fine o’ I no get mind call her ‘idiot’ again.

  58. I agree...

    August 22, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    But back to the story, my friend and I call ourselves Radio and Felicia from the movies Radio and Friday and my friend has not even a drop of Nigerian or African blood in her.

  59. yetunde

    September 2, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    It beats me really, ur article has changed my view about cursing, bitch nigga bla bla bla I don’t think it’s right, there’s power in the tongue. Cursing someone s unborn child! That’s inhumane! Good work! Isio!

  60. Stephanie

    September 13, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    This is another beautiful piece. Curses are just wrong.

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