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Is it Hard to Find a Good Man in Nigeria? Ali Baba Shares

BellaNaija.com

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Ali Baba & Mary BComedian Ali Baba often shares his thoughts on relationships on his Facebook page. Recently he recounted a conversation with a female friend about available men, finding Mr Right in Nigeria, his wife Mary and more.

***

“I have a serious matter at hand that I want to share. In fact, I should have shared this long ago, but the primary message from a friend that prompted the matter, was lost in between the series of inbox messages from those strange girls that are looking for romantic friendships on Facebook.

In a nutshell, a lady friend sent me an inbox message on how it’s harder to find a good man in Nigeria. And that the men who are “manageable” (her words, not mine) are so scarce and if you ever get them they are either married to a lady that does not deserve them or just repenting from a bad marriage from one of such women. Or even just lost faith in the whole marriage thing.

I later ran into her at a club. After the usual introductions that have become common place with these social media network of friends… (You are my friend on Twitter, Facebook, Tango, INSTAGRAM… That kind of thing)…. I chatted with her a bit and found out from what she told me, that, many women are now settling for anything in between MR Right, MR Not just ok and MR Nearly right. As she put it, it’s now a case of looking at what a guy checks out in the top 10 box… And if he has 3 out of 10, snap him up… Work on the rest 7, if you are lucky, you can get him to add 3 more of those top10 qualities… And begin to pray it lasts for as long as you both can manage.

Much as I tried, to get her to rate me, she said, she can only rate someone who is on her radar. So ladies have relationship radar? Yes of course. You think you were not in Mary’s radar, and she waited for you to come back after you… ? Ouch!!! (That was my guy who was listening in on our private conversation) I wasn’t on Mary’s radar…. I managed to mutter. Then she fooled you wellllll. She quickly added.

It got me thinking… What does a man need to show to get on any woman’s radar? Money, sense of humor, fame, dress sense, good job, intelligence, good diction, good physique, some visible signs of affluence, confidence,… She let me continue for a while, raised her glass of Henessy VSOP, downed it, and said, “He must first be AVAILABLE. Then you can begin to check out the rest.” So I asked, do I look available? She said, “Of course, to the people who do not care if you are married, you are very available! Not to me, OOO. Mary was my boss at Platinum. So that strikes you out.” So I asked the next possible question, “so what can I do to look unavailable?” There is nothing. You are even an easy pick. She added. Any man who has a source of income, popular, dresses well, tall, handsome small sef, has a car, is in the circles of successful people, looks like he has potentials to become somebody important and can pay the bills…

Our conversation started having K-leg when she lit a cigar, not cigarette, Cuban cigar and started smoking. I took a good look at her, and realized that, these women who are looking for a MR Right all over Lagos, may just have met him but he is also looking for a woman who doesn’t drink alcohol or smoke anything at all. That is the wahala. As you are looking for MR right, he might be dodging you because you are all shades of wrong…

While you are looking waiting for a guy to walk in and fit into your radar, you are doing some things that also confine you to the “never my type” hemisphere…

So, in conclusion, just as good men are hard to find, “manageable” ladies are unicorns!!!!

What is GOOSE for Uganda… Is GOOD for PERU”

So BellaNaija-rians, do you agree?

Photo Source: Ali Baba Facebook | SC George

83 Comments

  1. Agashi mama

    September 16, 2014 at 11:06 am

    I agree with this 101%!! Baba u are so on point.

  2. Motun

    September 16, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Well, somewhat true….

  3. TA

    September 16, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Preach it Alibaba. Preach it from the roof tops. Women want this,men want that. Are you the good partner that you wish for? You want a good man who will be nice,treat you like a princess. No problem with that but can you also treat him like a king? Aha. Na so o. You cannot be demanding something like you are entitled to it. A good husband or wife is a blessing from God not something you have earned. While waiting for that blessing,work on being a better person not for any reason but simply because it’s the best for you. And if the spouse nor show up,live your life. Nor be only husband and wife matter dem create us for.

    • A.D

      September 21, 2014 at 12:55 am

      Can I double like. #GBAM Infact take a look at this memoirsofagoodnaijagurl.blogspot.com/2013/01/all-men-are-not-same.html

  4. tomnmenace

    September 16, 2014 at 11:17 am

    No be lie!!!
    Right on point!

  5. Joan85

    September 16, 2014 at 11:22 am

    He has some valid points…
    All this talk about good men, everyone always has ‘advice’ for single ladies these days.
    It is more difficult to find a good woman o, believe it or not! Men are having it tougher but society keeps telling us otherwise…
    But I digress… 🙂

    • Sylvia

      September 16, 2014 at 1:32 pm

      I agree with!

  6. Tosin

    September 16, 2014 at 11:34 am

    MMM… He always has a lot of advice, yet he ‘hit and run’ (impregnated Mary) when they were young, married someone, and added more before he came back, when she was successful in her own right.
    Nigerian women continue to accept anything from guys, and they will continue to do it.
    He was one of the guys with what his friend and some people could say are negatives against him (divorced, kids from multiple women) … and now he’s changed he can’t see it’s hard to find a good guy?
    As for the ‘advice’, I agree, be the change you want to see.

    • D

      September 16, 2014 at 1:18 pm

      @ Tosin with all due respect I will say this “He who is without sin let him/her cast the first stone” you said he has changed but after announcing all his “supposed sins” and trying to insinuate the man should not be dolling out advice because “His past” . I don’t know Alibaba personally or his past or present I assume Mary is the wifey but he made a valid point. Be the change you seek. if you want good man be good woman too or if it is manageable man you seek try to be manageable too. What he is right now should be the focus not what he did some 40some odd years ago. Or don’t you have things in your past you regret doing? Do you want people to constantly throw that in your face or hold you to them for the rest of your life?

    • nene

      September 16, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      you are right.

  7. sexydoctor

    September 16, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Lmao….what is good for Uganda is good for peru.

  8. koins

    September 16, 2014 at 11:40 am

    Are you the person the person you are looking for is looking for??? Hmmm..Question for the Gods 😀

  9. Tosin

    September 16, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    He’s a comedian. He’s a he. And he’s old.
    In this piece, he’s cliche, off the mark, and boring.

    • Potatoes.

      September 16, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      Focus on the message and not the messenger.

  10. iyke

    September 16, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    This reminds me of the question I always ask myself and everyone out there.
    Folks, If the right person that YOU seek walked right up to you, possessing all the qualities that you desire in him or her, in all fairness and reality – keeping it 100% real – would YOU have all the qualities they seek in a mate?
    To find the partner of your dreams, YOU MUST first become the partner of your dreams!

    • The K

      September 16, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      My thoughts exactly! Nigerian ladies would soon be synonymous to marriage. My dear ladies, there is more to life than marriage. All the energy you put in to trying to be married at all cost could be put to good use at other activities to better your lives. #JesSaying

    • Iyke

      September 16, 2014 at 1:59 pm

      On another note, culled this from a program that I watched last night, and thought I’d challenge your IQs BN family.Lets see how deep you think lol.
      (Puzzle – Can you figure out their ages?)
      A census taker approaches a house and asks the woman who answers the door “How many children do you have, and what are their ages?”
      The woman replies “I have three children, the product of their ages are 36, the sum of their ages are equal to the address of the house next door.”
      The census taker walks next door, comes back and says “I need more information.”
      The woman replies “I have to go, my oldest child is sleeping upstairs.”
      Census taker then says “Thank you, I now have everything I need.”
      BN Family, – Can you figure out their ages?

    • Blessmyheart

      September 16, 2014 at 4:19 pm

      4, 3, 3?

    • Adaobi

      September 16, 2014 at 10:58 pm

      I think that it is 4,3, 3. For her to still be checking on her oldest child he must still be a toddler.

    • Jaykeys

      September 20, 2014 at 11:53 am

      9,4,1

  11. Larry

    September 16, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    Nice report Alli. The truth is that ladies searching for the right men also need to conduct themselves properly and decently. What do you make of a lady cooling off with henessy and cigar? First impression matters most.
    Larry.

    • Iris

      September 16, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      There’s nothing wrong with it if she finds the man who doesn’t care about it or thinks the rest of her is wonderful enough that it is part of what makes her who she is. Maybe that doesn’t work for you but I’m sure you don’t know all the men in Nigeria so it may be fine for some people. The point is that it is all relative. You must be good for EACH OTHER – not just one person being good for another.

    • slice

      September 16, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      The trick to success in life is to not try to be all things to all pple. Come guys r looking for. Lady who smokes so she won’t have any problem with him smoking. If that’s ur thg, instead of looking for ur mate among those who don’t smke ,look for those who do and therein will be happiness. Don’t go for the so called clean guy in that area who will make u miserable by constantly condemning sthg u like

    • bbaby

      September 17, 2014 at 4:51 pm

      dear Slice, even the worst of men want to be married to decent ladies who will sort caution them. well, the morality behind this might be somewhat technical to defend but even a chain smoking man will prefer a non smoker. The Hennessey loving and cigar smoking girl might have to chance even amongst his male pairs. they guys will usually prefer someone they presume to be ” submissive”. ladies have to be smart enough to know when enough is enough.

    • C'est moi

      September 16, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      Well the ‘right man’ for the aforementioned lady wouldn’t be put off by the Hennessy & cigar, so let her be.

  12. Bluebird

    September 16, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    From this piece he can only see the woman from a point of smoking and drinking. We are not all smokers and drinkers but it is still difficult to find a good man. You think he would see this, but sadly not

  13. Miss Right

    September 16, 2014 at 12:29 pm

    I can proudly beat my chest and say i am “Miss Right” but still on still i never see “Mr Right” ahan kilode sef! Dear Mr Right holla wherever you are 🙂

    • Potatoes.

      September 16, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      Hang in there, he will surely come.

    • Tjand

      September 16, 2014 at 7:21 pm

      i have “hollered”

    • Olu

      September 18, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Am here been looking for you

  14. Potatoes.

    September 16, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    I totally agree, well for me I call the period when a lady waits for Mr Right the “”waiting Period”” and what a lady does during that period matters a lot, you cant be waiting for Mr Right and still be in a relationship with a Married Man and expect a miracle to happen. The waiting period is a time to prepare your self in emotionally, physically and spiritually. What you sow u reap,

  15. www.eniwealth79.blogspot.com

    September 16, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    10/10 FOR THIS POST!

  16. Robin Hood

    September 16, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    To all the Miss Right out there . If u are sincere, I am here.
    If you are beautiful, intelligent, clean, reasonable, and down to earth, i think we should get to meet. holla on Blackberry 27AF7E2F…………………

  17. Luqman

    September 16, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    I don’t believe in a notion that it is really difficult to find a good man to marry, there are so many God-fearing men out there waiting for their missing ribs as well, but the economical situation of Obodo Naija has completely shattered so many dreams, to the extent that those single guys will prefer to wait for the appropriate time that their motives could be achieved cos a good man will never want to be a liability, he would rather be the main service provider for the family (like MTN or GLO to Naija), likewise we have some guys that wanted to remain bachelor for life and have different baby mamas cos they don’t want to share any bond with any ladies.

    I have witnessed so many scenes that the families of some guys were mounting pressure on their sons to bring women home for mama to see (i thought it was only ladies), because most of those guys are already exceeded 30yrs and marriage is not on their agenda – while the population of women are skyrocketing day by day. As a matter of fact, most single ladies are really under pressure, unless we are just deceiving ourselves, If we want to see the reality of life, let any Churches or Mosques hold a program titled “Marriage Symposium”, you will see so many faces that have abandoned place of worship for a longer period dusted their scriptures, may be there would be some changes in their lives by finding the right partners.

    Women should soft pedal and wait for their right time cos every path being trekked by all mankind had been written before we came to this world and it shall surely come to past.

    TOLERANCE is Mr 0r Mrs Right according to my own definition of finding a good man or woman, cos we can never possess all the qualities everybody wants in their partners. It is not easy to live under the same roof, even if we were born by the same mother.

  18. Concept of Right and Wrong

    September 16, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Let’s even forget the issue of being the type of person you want.

    The concept of right and wrong, as it relates to the issue of relationship, is an individual thing.
    What is right to you is not what is right to the other person.

    See this
    Mr A – tall, handsome, intelligent and rich (well to do), outgoing, clubber
    Mr B – short/average, average looks, intelligent and rich (well to do), knows God
    Mr C- Tall, handsome, boring, homely, knows God and average financially
    Mr D- average height, intelligent, outgoing, clubber, average financially

    Mz A- career oriented, outgoing, doesnt cook, fair, intelligent and pretty, independent, church goer
    Mz B- homely, cooks, clingy, career oriented, God lover, low dresser
    Mz C- outgoing, dress to kill, clubber, church goer,
    Mz D- low dresser, homely, not career oriented, financially stable, God lover

    Your may be Ms A and your definition of the right man for you is Mr A. but the question is are you the definition of Mrs right for Mr A.?

    We all have choices, but you must be realistic in what you want. Many at times, what we want is unrealistic. What we want will end up destroying us if we have it. All of us aim for the best we can get but if i were you, i would forget all the above and do one thing? Pray

    Father, where is the man & woman that can compliment me? Where is he/she that will stand with me when every other person deserts me? Where is he/she that will bring out the best in me? Where is he/she that can contain and live with my excesses? Lastly, Father, help me not to be carnal when he/she comes. Help me to identify and accept him/her when he/she comes.

    Baby , anytime i look at you and see others in the world, i can never thank God enough for giving you to me. You are the best i can ever have. love you plenty

  19. yummie

    September 16, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    Well said Ali. I am 110% miss ryt, stil mr ryt no waka come.

  20. HENNY

    September 16, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    i strongly believe there is no such thing as Mr. Right!! ladies stop dreaming…. and am a lady too….. and yes, there is no Miss. Right either. we are all flawed….

  21. Butter

    September 16, 2014 at 1:29 pm

    Mr rights are busy being blinded by the sex tricks of Miss wrong therefore miss right will finds a friend in that married man. keeping her attention while busy and pay some bills like it or not. Both parties should learn to FOCUS.

  22. Butter

    September 16, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    *find and while he pays some bills*

  23. omoibo

    September 16, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    When people list all the qualities they want in their mates. The question I always ask is, what value do you bring to the table? Whenever I ask this, the answer I get is a bunch of rambling. So that being said, do not seek from others what you’re unwilling to offer in return….

  24. missy J

    September 16, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Gbam well said!

  25. Bella

    September 16, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    “As you are looking for MR right, he might be dodging you because you are all shades of wrong…. ” ………………….that had me ROTF.!!

  26. yourstrulyblogposts.blogspot.com

    September 16, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    In order to for Mr Right to locate you, you have to have the qualities that he desires. Very well said, Ali Baba

  27. Beloved

    September 16, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Smoking and drinking makes a woman irresponsible? Our society is evolving, some people have refused to evolve with it.
    I don’t support smoking and drinking in public especially for a woman, however, it’s not a guarantee that she won’t be a good wife.
    I know girls that don’t smoke and drink but they have wicked and malicious heart. Some can even chop clean mouth behind your back.

    • rs

      September 16, 2014 at 5:31 pm

      Yep, according to Ali Baba smoking and drinking makes a woman irresponsible. Disappointing to say the least. I know so many successful woman who are smokers.

  28. AVID BLOG READER

    September 16, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    Gbam! Gbam!! Gbam!!! If you are looking for a 10, ask yourself – am I a 10?

  29. honeymix...

    September 16, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    And one guy was tellling me this afternoon that his wife must be a virgin before he marries her. Do people still use this as a yardstick for marriage. I asked him of what he was bringing to the table, he was dumbfounded and kept quiet considering his reckless history. I just was not interested anymore and he told me I’m the kinda lady that goes after my career instead of building a family. Why would you ever judge me like that because you feel inferior to me.

  30. Anon

    September 16, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    Mr Right is Utopian. Smoking and drinking? Those ones are small compared to other traits. They are just bad for our health and skin. I belonged to a circle of girls who smoked and were occasional drinkers. We all married, had kids and dropped the habits gradually. Some of our husbands were not even smokers and they were teetotal.

  31. DESIREAYO

    September 16, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    lolzzzzz at the write up. so true and on point. No gender is to be blamed ,we should all take responsibility of ourselves,attitude,character n behaivoural pattern.

  32. rs

    September 16, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Really Mr Ali Baba? Really?? I am sad that you took time out of your busy life to write this. This is a waste of time for you and those of us reading this. So according to you she is not a wife quality because she smokes cigar. I would assume that there is more to this lady in terms of substance than just smoking cigar. Why didn’t you tell us the good stuff like her job, her wonderful parents, how smart she is, her caring for others, giving back to her community,etc. I am a Nigerian man and Mr Ali Baba is not speaking for me.

  33. peyton

    September 16, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    This is the question i keep asking myself i lack patience(GOD is working on me so i am getting there) but i want a man that has loads of patience, Mr Boyfriend is patient but me nah a classic example is bros calls and i am dead tired because i just got back from work and all i want to do is sleep but he understands and lets me sleep. When bros is tired and i am wide awake i get pissed.(yea yea i am a complicated person), we all want certain qualities but before we demand them from our partners, spouses, etc we should ask ourselves do i possess these qualities? because if you don’t it is hypocritical to demand someone have those qualities so when you draw up your list also speak to yourself.I don’t know if good men are hard to find sha, i believe in relationships we have removed the essentials and brought in the unnecessary., be that as it may the number 1 thing that makes it difficult is that lately, the number of unfaithful men tire person i am not generalizing please i am just stating my discoveries

    • AdannaBlu

      September 17, 2014 at 1:28 am

      I like your post,keep the attention on your issues. Most of us are too busy blaming men when we have fundamental character and emotional issues. Try and deal with this im patience sis.

  34. Tjand

    September 16, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    Look If you are Mz / Miss Right and ur looking for Mr. Ok guy, by this, i mean- “comfortable enough, Can sustain a business/lifestyle ,too responsible, looks good , well mannered, God fearing and has “Madt potential” , then Bring your well behaved, good natured, focused, good hearted and self driven witty God fearing and MUST-BE-FINE self over and we will discuss the options available for a future… But…..you must FIT this criteria or else…..”No time O !! ehen” …Pictures are very welcome pls ! and send to “[email protected]” . PS I am sooo serious.

    • girl

      September 17, 2014 at 1:20 am

      ova how old are you?

    • girl

      September 17, 2014 at 1:20 am

      meant oga (autocorrect)

    • AdannaBlu

      September 17, 2014 at 1:25 am

      So is that how it works in your village? You think we’re that desperate? Wakeup,how you present yourself matters to us ladies. You don fail. Email you and say I am interested? Na job?

  35. Queen

    September 16, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    Oh well…..this issue of Mr and Mrs right again. I’ll say its all in God’s hands. I believe my own will never pass me by . If he does pass me by, then he was never my Mr right. Above all, prayer is everything.

    • AdannaBlu

      September 17, 2014 at 1:21 am

      Seriously? You need to know how many right opportunities pass us by due to unpreparedness’. We must plan to do well when opportunity comes. Hoping you’ll meet the right person at the right time is like expecting you’ll be called for a job interview you did not apply for.

      @AdannaBlu

  36. james olufemi wisdomp a.k.a

    September 16, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Is because you were too looking high they are every where for you, look around you, u will find one.

  37. AdannaBlu

    September 16, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    Wao, Alibaba really hit the nail on the head. Lets be frank,most of our fathers wont be good enough for us ladies if we were to choose from fathers. Not because our fathers are bad nor because our mothers were wrong marrying them but because we feel we’re too good for any man except the already married. It’s a big issue,we ladies have a disease call “Over rated ego”. It’s a misinterpretation of girl power ideology. We look for what we’re not in other people. If by chance we become born again,we import our superior self concept in to church then coat it with Christianies and scriptures then we ride on. Either in church or circular life,we’ll always feel most men are not good enough. Too much body cream,clothes and makeup can do that to you but above that is self pride. Don’t bother arguing cos me I dey try overcome this thing.

    Look it may look like I’m bashing my ladies but that’s not true,we’re really sick and frustrating the men you meet by setting standards that you cannot meet is sickness.

    You can’t buy car but you insist he must have one,you are squatting in your fathers house at 30 but you want him to have house in Lekki,Oloshi. You earn 150k but you want man that is rich. Who starts out in life successful. Was it not little by little your parents made it? That’s if they made it…

    My friend said men are lazy,I said ok oh. You na jaki. Any man that gets up daily to think,plan and pray while applying himself in business or on the job is not lazy. Sometimes its just a matter of time. Success takes time. We need to be patient with men. I advice myself daily,find a man that loves God and has a dream. The rest we’ll work on together because me sef I no love God like that. So I need him to be strong spiritually and lead me. Everything else can be resolved. If he loves God,he would be willing to take correction most times. Trust me ladies,good men are around,they are in the seemingly scruffy guys you see around. They’re hustling to make ends meet. The want to impress us but things no easy na. If you think your perfect then lets open up our secrets lets see if the guys would touch us.

    I know there’re some guys like that who no dey try but not all men are wrong. One last thing,your pastor and bosses who you respect more that your guy or hubby,they were not always like that. Infact some of them,their wives see them as irresponsible men. Yes that’s true, so before you use pastor or MD take do standard,remember everyone has a past and a future. Na God do am oh. If you met president GEJ some years ago,you’ll say yeye man,today he’s your president. What of Tinubu and all others,would you consider dating them? FYI,there are new Presidents and senators and big businesses men amongst the men we are quick to run down.

    I am not perfect so I try to cut others some slack. Men are good,there’re many good ones,I just need to get better at spotting them. Success takes time,where there’s character,fear of God and hard work,I’ll consider.

    @AdannaBlu

    • beautifulonyinye

      September 17, 2014 at 12:06 am

      A thousand likes.No truer words.

    • Sunita

      September 17, 2014 at 8:15 am

      Madam pls speak for yourself. Most women aren’t the gold digging hoes you’re portraying us to be. I seriously doubt you’re a woman as your comment is coming from a frustrated place. Most women I know around my circle are looking for men that they can grow with. If you have gold diggers around you sorry o, try and change your friends biko. So you think the single guys are not looking for a made woman abi? I blame both sexes abeg. Most single men are not serious. You can’t be stringing 3 women along n be saying you’re searching. If as a single man you’re serious to settle down stick to one babe, love her, grow with her (if una still get plenty time o), tend the relationship and then do the needful. Stop all this side chick business and focus.

    • AdannaBlu

      September 18, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      Dear Sunita,I’m so sorry you feel offended by my post. As for whether am a lady or not,well my bra is on and every other part functions well. My hips are real,what else can I say? I don’t mean to bash us(ladies) but truth be told,we too dey show ourselves. We say we appreciate character in men because we know that’s what the responsible society expects we should appreciate but when men with character come along,we say where’s the cash. I don’t mean that ladies should take anything from men but lets be reasonable with our expectations. Like I said,success takes time. Gold digging is good when there is gold,my point is,be patient with the men so they can have the gold so you can dig. (Smiling) frustration comes from unmet unrealistic expectations. Can we work as a team,man and woman seeking to achieve a goal. Putting the men down wont make us better ladies.

      You don’t have to agree with me,just think it through.

      @AdannaBlu

    • Parable

      September 17, 2014 at 11:03 am

      Take a bow Adanna. Your head dey there gaan ni
      In fact chop knuckle

      Now i have peace of mind that there are ladies who reason like this.
      Many are delusional and involved in head game, suffering from hallucination.

      People will wake up from their dreams some day(i just hope it wont be too late by then)

    • A.D

      September 21, 2014 at 1:04 am

      Walahi nwanne’m I’ve hugged you in my mind. Indeed no truer words……infact, for the furtherance of this our message, memoirsofagoodnaijagurl.blogspot.com/2011/11/dear-future-husband.html

  38. Kemi

    September 16, 2014 at 11:16 pm

    This is a great post and from a great view point which I have never considered. Thanks for the post.

  39. Jgmk

    September 16, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    Abeggi I smoked & drink & I married a typical nigerian man who hates smoking.

    If ur a good woman that is what will show regardless of ur unhealthy habits. Because of the respect I have for my husband I’ve stopped smoking.

    Mr Right & Mrs Right know each other when they meet. Marriage should be about love & not by force.

    • AdannaBlu

      September 17, 2014 at 1:13 am

      Really? So your advice is no matter what you do love will find you? What a role model you are. The general rule is clean up your acts if you want to be perceived as worth something. If an exception occurs like you,don’t try to portray that as a standard. No man would set out to date or love a perceived exhaust pipe or a perceived drunk so ladies,lets get our lives together.

      @AdannaBlu

  40. Kili

    September 16, 2014 at 11:40 pm

    Weeeeeell…where do I start from.
    We will all be fine if we learn to not judge other and mind our business. Let the married face their marriage, single face their lives, heart broken nurse their injury. I dont agree with what he mostly said especially with the alcohol and cigar issue. Who made u judge over her???? The singles are under way too much pressure which I think is the main reason for poor decision making in relationship and very foolish advice from random and people that dont really matter. No one has the manual for relationships. Let us alll just live and let live and we ll all be fine pls.

    • AdannaBlu

      September 17, 2014 at 12:59 am

      So is this what you tell yourself to be able to sleep at night? Who’s judging? So people should not speak for or against simply so we can all live like rats without direction? Kili wake up. Mind your business kills. Sometimes its in not minding your business that solutions are proffered to problems.

      @AdannaBlu

    • Kili

      September 17, 2014 at 4:55 pm

      Oh Adanna. Why so angry?? Lol. Biko we arent fighting I hope you know. I am wide awake. If you want to livr by people’s direction fine, but dont lord it over me.

  41. Kili

    September 16, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    There is always somebody for everybody.
    Over time, I have come to realise that
    1.love has no standard definition.
    2. Love makes you vulnerable
    3.people say love is not a feeling..well, for me feeling is part of loving.
    4. Love is pure…love is forgiving.
    5. Love does not look for perfection but embraces flaws.
    I have not seen anywhere the lady doesnt deserve a right to love In this super story…..but just maybe the ladies are “manless” because of alibaba’s kinda attitude and mindset. Just maybe.

    • AdannaBlu

      September 17, 2014 at 1:06 am

      Love has a standard called sacrifice.
      Love is not blind,it just overlooks with hope of collectively dealing with the issue.
      Love does not look for perfection but journeys towards one as a team.
      Love is ever growing. You can’t stay same way and say love accepts you the way you are…. Na lie. Love improves over time.

      @AdannaBlu

    • Kili

      September 17, 2014 at 4:53 pm

      This is exactly what I am saying. I REALLY DONT HAVE TO ACCEPT YOUT VIEWS YOU KNOW?? cos I can see that you are angry and I dont know why??
      I have said mine why do u have to come and say “na lie” loool egbami. I have a beautiful and healthy relationship wjich I nurture and protect with all these things I have said. So please back off and let me be.

    • Sunita

      September 17, 2014 at 8:25 am

      Chop knuckle abeg. When you’re a certain age and unmarried ppl will always look for reasons why you’re a still single, so what about all the wonderful, amazing, talented, successful single women out there that are not smokers, clubbers and drinkers? Making single women feel there’s something wrong with them is just not right and not fair. Like someone said earlier drinking and smoking is bad but shouldn’t be a deal breaker as these ‘vices’ can be stopped what the man shld be scared of are the things that cannot be easily changed like nagging, promiscuousity lying, un forgiveness, lack of respect… Just to mention a few. For the men you can’t be a smoker, womaniser, pot smoker, drunk and excessive clubber and be looking for a decent girl. What makes you better than those babes you hang out with at the clubs that do the things you do? Because you’re a man? C’mon let’s be real here.

    • AdannaBlu

      September 18, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      Unfortunately I can’t continue contending with your opinion. Sunita and co,theres an acceptable standard regardless of other standards. The goal is not to get you to accept my position but to consider it. Womanhood is not supposed to be in competition with men, on who can do bad the most. In my view,the word “responsible conduct” is a verb I think (pardon me if am wrong) The way we conduct ourselves as ladies is a bases upon which we are assessed. Any social vice that has a tendency of stigmatizing us thereby making it necessary for is to defend out integrity as ladies is uncalled for. Drinking and smoking in your own words is not bad,well I don’t know how our mothers felt about such tendencies in men but generally speaking,it puts us ladies in a zero category before the men.

      Think it through
      @AdannaBlu

    • A.D

      September 21, 2014 at 12:57 am

      Adanna nwanne’m, biko chop this combo knuckle first. You hit right in the middle of the shinning baldness of the matter. Preach my sister!

  42. Grown Woman

    September 17, 2014 at 7:43 am

    I think love is all about patience and torelance.There are cerain qualities we all wished for in a partner but usually the box can never be fully ticked.For instance i like to talk on the phone as in not so much but at least my Bf should call every now and then but My current Mr. man prefers to text rather than chat..Don’t get me wrong, he is a very good man i.e caring,God fearing,respectful e.t.c.But the main issue is him not calling.We spoke about this before and still says he prefers to text.Should i suffer coz he doesn’t like to talk on the phone?hell no so lets us keep on texting until Jesus comes because i cannot suffer for such matters.I would rather have this than someone who calls and still treats me like Sh** anyways so i suggest at the end of the day, we should all be with someone who loves,cares and respects us the rest is bonus.Ladies, please stop wasting your time looking for Mr.Right just find mr left and drag the idiot to the right 🙂 🙂

    • Maturity vs Childishness

      September 17, 2014 at 10:59 am

      Grown woman, so the eish now be say the guy texts rather than calls?

      Generally speaking now not you Grown woman

      Ema gbami ke, see insignificant things that people are worried about in relationships.

      People never ready to marry o. When you marry nko and you realize, he loves sleeping early while you love sleeping late? what other major things like you love swallows and he loves rice/fries them- meaning cooking twice or so…… or he is a time conscious person and you are a time waster/delayer due to make up and all that

      My whole take about this eish is that many are not yet matured for the thing.

      All these excuses is a sign of childishness. When you get matured and have passed through life, life will definitely teach you a lesson.

      Marriage not for kids jo (whether you are 25 or 30, if you are not matured you are still a kid) but for the matured

  43. Gentlechap

    September 17, 2014 at 10:32 am

    I believe most women have not gotten their priorities right. Their are lots of wannabe naija girls who are living in illusion. They should have a rethink.

  44. Nneky

    September 19, 2014 at 10:55 am

    As you are looking for MR right, he might be dodging you because you are all shades of wrong…
    While you are looking waiting for a guy to walk in and fit into your radar, you are doing some things that also confine you to the “never my type” hemisphere…
    yes buh is true, sit down and ask yourself question and also answer at the same time, coz no responsible guy that will see such act/ kind of babe and dream to accept her in his life.As you are looking for MR. RITE, you too should also try,adjust to be a gud woman. this is a pinch of advice to single babes.

  45. B me

    September 19, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    I heard someone who was trying to be funny make a valid point – you find a man who ticks all the boxes on your criteria list only to realize he’s too good for you …. How about we work on ourselves while waiting for the Mr.

  46. Idomagirl

    September 26, 2014 at 6:47 am

    Lol.

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