Connect with us

Scoop

Ariyike Akinbobola Shares a Story on Domestic Violence | Watch

Published

 on

Ariyike Akinbobola - August 2014 - BellaNaija.com 01004

We hear sad stories of domestic violence every day and it just breaks our hearts.

Nigerian media personality, Ariyike Akinbobola shares another heartbreaking domestic violence story.

Watch here:

19 Comments

  1. Bimzeem

    October 12, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    So right, so true!! But on the other hand, we keep talking of the physical violence, which includes battery and assault, what of the women who are emotionally violated? Many more women suffer emotional abuse than physical because many guys want to be seen as the angel,while the woman is the devil. He washes her with all the expensive stuff you could think of, takes her on trips to all the exotic places money could pave way for, but she gets the worth of all those things in verbal abuse and sexual negligence!!

    I have a friend who swims in all currencies. Takes trips outside the country about 4times in a year, changes her car every year, (she doesn’t work), her kids go to top class schools. The day she opened her mouth to tell me her hubby hasn’t touched her in 10years, I was numbed all over. That the last he touched her was the result of her last child who’s nine years. And that all through the marriage (18yrs), he has made love to her only 4times!!!! The day she attempted to complain, he told her all there was to say to ten generations of destitutes. “You have all that money could buy, why must you have sex?” he leaves the house for days without telling her his destination or day of return, yet she’s not allowed a single visitor. He pays people to watch over the wife and tell him if she makes any move. Yet he’s never there to give her even a hug. In the cold or in the heat, she’s by herself. But in all these, she’s borne this alone. She tried to talk to some people and the question she got was “sex na food? You have everything, just enjoy”. I asked her if she spoke to her mum, and the answer wasn’t different. “mum said marriage is not all about sex,i should stop embarrassing the family”. The last I saw her, she’s thrown herself into many lucrative projects that keep her so busy. I didn’t add that the woman is so pretty and most times we believe the man is intimidated.

    The physically abused person can be helped when people see the evidence. But the emotional abused, how do we help? Knowing that a good number of abused women, even the physically battered ones never come out to talk and wouldn’t even accept it when confronted.

    • CurvesAndEdge

      October 13, 2014 at 12:32 am

      Yeah, if intimidated is another word for gay.

    • G

      October 13, 2014 at 2:53 am

      or Juju something not right…. did she do her due diligence bf marriage. the Lord does not lie… and she should just pray too… the Lord will restore her marriage. it’s in Bible not to sex starve ur spouse…

    • The Bull

      October 13, 2014 at 12:57 am

      Oh wow, 10 years.. My best advice for her may be a shallow one, but she should just get a big brown Dildo!! no time for rubbish!

    • Idak

      October 13, 2014 at 11:26 am

      If e no be panadol, e no fit be like panadol.

    • Idak

      October 13, 2014 at 7:52 am

      Women themselves say that they will rather cry in a Ferrari than cry in a Keke.
      When you have women justifying that which should be condemned in all ramifications, then you know that the destination is far.

  2. paulmirabilis

    October 13, 2014 at 1:56 am

    Ariyike, you might also need to tell your fellow women not to be greedy when they are making the choice of a partner. Most wife-beaters started abusing these women while they were dating, yet because of the greed in many of these women, they still go ahead to marry the men in question. More often that not, these women always have good (in every sense of the word) guys disturbing them for relationships but they turn the good guys down, probably because they are still struggling or are not rich enough compared to the other guys, or do not have some other material things e.g. 6ft height, 6-pack body etc…lol. Until women become reasonable in their choice of men, there will continue to be victims of domestic abuse in many homes. Do not force yourself on any guy. Make sure the guy in question respects and loves you truthfully. Any man that truly loves you will never beat or abuse you. Most of these wife beaters do what they do because they do not respect the women in question. If you do not respect yourself, don’t expect your man to respect you. Look for virtues in men, rather than the material things they have. Make sure, you are bringing something to the table as far as your relationship is concerned. The only thing many women nowadays bring to the table in their relationships is their sexy body! I am not saying women should not have great dreams of what they want their husbands or guys to be, all I am saying is that they should be REASONABLE in their CHOICES!

    • G

      October 13, 2014 at 2:57 am

      I think it’s insecurity….those who allow abuse, from dating stage…. due to fear don’t address it… it takes the Grace of God; strength and courage to walk away… some don’t even recognize they r being verbally / emotionally abused. until it graduates to physical…

    • Pablo

      October 13, 2014 at 1:28 pm

      G God bless you for this statement. I left a relationship because of plenty verbal and emotional abuse. Initially when i tried to complain i heard, “Oh no don’t think that way, he will never, never, never hit you”. I tried to hang on, but everything concerning the relationship began to make me feel stupid and loose self esteem. The lies, cheating, insults etc. Initially i was not sure i made the right choice by leaving and cutting him off. But right now i believe, i made the right choice. I might be alone, but i feel secured and happy.

    • G

      October 14, 2014 at 3:41 am

      Amen oh Pablo… God bless you also. Thanks for sharing your story very encouraging… It’s all by His Grace… I have come to understand that right council is eminent in this life. Tho’ lots of people betrayed me. I have a similar story to yours. But the Lord who always goes ahead of time.. had intercessor intercede for me without my knowledge. I learned this later..
      So I choose to share good council..

      I have learned about soul ties, strongholds, bad company, pray for those who maltreat you.. etc.

      At most that I am worthy, you are worthy… God loves you.

  3. hull

    October 13, 2014 at 3:05 am

    I love the topic. But can she please stop with the fake accent. Is it me or she’s trying to sound like Toke Makinwa.

  4. nnn

    October 13, 2014 at 5:22 am

    Ariyike, I hear you on not telling a woman to leave. But really, what do you recommend?

    • Surely

      October 13, 2014 at 8:48 am

      I know! “Women, avoid being turned into a punching bag… but I won’t advise you to leave”…. Nigerian women, even the ones that want to give “good advise” still find themselves in the sinking sand of marriage as the woman’s ultimate calling.
      Ariyike has said nothing here but expose the billionaire kid. I don’t know why women are afraid of honesty. When men comfortably can say “send her packing!” when a women no longer serves their needs. Naija women, na una don collect trophy for being slaves to men. I bow.

  5. miss pynk

    October 13, 2014 at 8:00 am

    Good topic, but she lacked depth in addressing it.
    Root cause of abuse, first of all little girls need to start being re-engineered to understand that they are worth a lot if not more than the male child. Women are the continuity of generations and have the greatest influence on future generations as they are often the primary caregivers whom children tend to learn from.
    The generation of young women marrying today arent always reasonable, materialism and the desire to get married 21 to aged 35 encourages these women to get and stay married to people whom they have no business courting talkless of marrying. People dont understand the concept of shared value systems neither do they understand that love isnt Hermes or Gucci handbags- which can be mute point given the level of economic depravity in our society. Love is peace of mind with yourself and your partner.
    People need to start being open ànd telling young girls the truth, cindarella isnt real, but God hasnt intended a life of marital sorrow for anyone. People need to be more honest with themselves when they are asking God to show them their partner.
    Reminds me of a story, babe was dating a well balanced guy – boring to say the least, his parents lived somewhere on the mainland, she met a guy parents lived in ikoyi, she returned mainlands engagement ring. Ikoyi guy was publicly decking her, stupid girl thought she would end up living in ikoyi, dudes father gave them flat in Ogudu. After 4 or 5 years of marriage, her husband has beaten her and stripped her in public, she is still waiting for that ikoyi house. The guy she dumped is a mid level mgmt exec now at a foreign company, married an just did house warming in lekki. Her own husband is known as the wifebeater even by people who dont know him, and she is known as a mentally disturbed woman all at 31.

    • G

      October 13, 2014 at 10:15 am

      nice one esp the root coz why girls allow abuse… at a tender age women aren’t tot their self worth. “Root cause of abuse, first of all little girls need to start being re-engineered to understand that they are worth a lot if not more than the male child. ”
      Some think that no marriage is perfect but the money will make life bearable.
      A case in point noticed my colleague embarrassing her finance to buy her something to the extent of publicly saying that he should use his credit card. I said to her this isn’t fair. She replied actions like this will console me when we are married bc when it will be tough in there this will console me. mind u they were days to get married in Naija.
      We all should learn as women to value our self and educate our minds on our self worth and self love. Do your due diligence when it comes to relationships. Be it friendship or courting.
      I know a case in point where there this group of girls notorious to destroy people’s relationship.. They blasted one of their mates poor boyfriend. Na so the girl go dump the guy. Now she is with a 419 guy despite a Pastor warning her about the marriage.
      As for me, my limit is disrespect and lies… I have learned to do my due diligence. I have an ex who still has the notion I dumped him for his status… he is now wealthy and married.. but still disrespectful and dishonest…
      another case in point is where I advised my friend. pointed her at a crossroad when she had to make a decision on who to marry. she did pray.. till today she thanks me that i gave her the best advice as a friend … Despite me being single I advised her from my point of view.
      For this reason I say do your due diligence when it comes to relationships. The right people around you will want the best for you and your future.
      Let us women not be negligent and influenced by fear. Be responsible for your life. You deserve to be loved and have an abundant life.
      You attract what you got. When you don’t love yourself you will attract the same type of person. The person might express it in a different way.
      The reason I quoted these examples is to pass on the message that we are all not perfect. As a Christian, Christ is our perfection. But we need to know who will understand us and vice versa. If you have the right council around you and the right spouse. Together you all will want the best for each other.

  6. Bellemoizelle

    October 13, 2014 at 8:33 am

    @Misspinky thats so sad mehn,some girls get lucky and some dont ,kai its really terrible,the issues some women face all in the name of even staying married to some wife beating chauvinist!I remember relationship(Realities of Relationship) series in the church I attended when I lived in port harcourt where my Pastor said ‘If man beats his wife to prove he is macho let me go to the garage and show the same skill to a tout,only a weak man beats a woman’ or abuses a woman verbally! @Bimzeem maybe the man just got married to her for cover up he could be he is more attracted to men,u never know……An aunt told me about a lady hu got married to a gay ooo, 1year in the marriage no sex ooo she had to annul it when she caught him with a man ooo!One really needs God to make the right choice in choosing a life partner,like I hear them say ‘marriage is a school where u learn but don’t graduate from because its a school of life!
    Sometimes its not even money some ladies are just in a hurry to get married and the end up marrying a shallow person!Like someone said she should get a Dildo…..

    My heart goes out to all physically abused women,my mom was one till she decided to walk out and it kinda of affected me as a little girl and I always used to hate men and feel they are all like my father till I started hearing the Word and knowing life can still be positive even with the negativity that may surround anyone’s circumstance.
    In my mid twenties and I know not all men are the same!
    Apologies for the epistles…..
    La vie est belle……….

  7. Amazeballs!!!!!!

    October 13, 2014 at 11:44 am

    This thing called domestic abuse,… people marry for different reasons, some for material things, some because they were emotionally and spiritually immature, some out of pity and the list goes on……However, I am sorry but I dont totally accept that all abusive men show signs before marriage, I am a living witness to that, my husband (soon to be ex by GOD’s Grace) never showed a single sign that he was abusive before I married him (I think I fell into the group of spiritual immaturity), I thought I was getting married to a very mature and selfless individual but what a shock I received when just 2wks into the marriage he was talking divorce and then the emotional, mental, financial abuse and all sorts of abuse-you name it- started and then it got physical…..at this point I realised i had to wake up and do something before he kills me and continues with his life. It was not an easy decision even though I’m young and consider myself a very independent and strong hardworking woman it took GOD, friends and family to make me believe it wasn’t over for me and I could still have a good life as a single mother….GOD has proven himself and continues to prove himself. My point however is that its not easy for anyone to leave a marriage especially if there’s a child involved. It takes great intervention and not everyone sees the signs before marriage. You dont just up and leave after all you planned the marriage into your future, now the plan failed, do you just move without direction?…NO!!! you have to plan for a different future now which is not exactly a simple task, bear in mind your self esteem has been totally battered and you feel very lost and a shadow of yourself….please it’s not exactly very easy, take it from someone who knows. The LORD is the strength of every woman/man getting the shock of their lives in unhappy marriages and to all those surviving/thriving after an abusive marriage….our story is still being written, GOD is not through with us yet!!!!.

  8. paulmirabilis

    October 13, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    @Amazeballs: Wow, I am really sorry to hear your story. I pray that God will make a way and restore happiness to your life.

    @Everyone: pls endeavor to watch this movie titled “Unforgivable” by Dayo Amusa and directed by Desmond Elliot. The movie is one of the best I’ve seen on this topic of domestic abuse. So much wisdom and lessons to learn from it.

  9. NR

    October 15, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    So many folks have so many differing opinions on the comments and some common opinions. But I am really happy reading the comments because that means people are talking about it. No matter how far behind the general female populace of our nation is as regards the issue of equality, we are obviously not as backward as we think because women like you are talking about it. When we are talking about it we are educating ourselves and I really hope we are also ”talking’ about it in real life – to our daughters, sisters and mothers.

    I definitely agree the most with the commenter who said it all starts with the training. Teaching little girls that you are equal to boys, when you take charge you are a boss and not bossy, when he maltreats you you have as much right to leave as he does if you maltreat him. We are teaching females equality, not that men are beneath us and all men are bad but that you are ‘equal’ and you have a ‘choice’.

    Thanks BN and Ariyike.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Tangerine Africa

Star Features

css.php