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Kemi Adetiba Speaks Up against Cyber Bullying of Single Women, Says ‘My Marital Status is MY Business’

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Kemi Adetiba TV Diaries - March 2012 - BellaNaija 003
Kemi Adetiba
has got a message for all those who constantly ask her about marriage and when she will be tying the knot.

The visual media practitioner took to her Twitter page this morning to share a couple of tweets detailing her thoughts about what she calls cyber bullying of single women.

Read her messages below.

124 Comments

  1. ay

    December 8, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    Yes oo..tell them girl…some people believe marriage should define you. You are a visionary and a super cool producer … if they are hating on you its because they want to be like you

  2. BIBI

    December 8, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    it actually pains her..else she wouldnt dedicate all this time typing…..a husband will come when a husband will come…dats dat….

    • Fashionista

      December 8, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      Your response is quite sad. How about maybe she’s just proper ticked off, as I would have been if I was in the same situation.

    • Neo

      December 8, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      And you don’t think someone belittling accomplishments one is proud of simply because one is unmarried shouldn’t be hurtful or painful to provoke a reply? Because in addition to being a bad ass producer she should be immune to spite? Riiiiiiiight, I’m getting you.

    • modupe

      December 8, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      i’m sure you are one of those people in a miserable marriage.

    • jhennique

      December 8, 2014 at 3:25 pm

      Bibi pls get sense! and no you dont even need money for that….

    • nikky

      December 8, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      Wonder who likes this ur retarded response. Pple will be here hanging deir lives on a man. It pains a husting woman to hear acheivements belittled like this.” Husband will come when husband will come” such a silly comment. women, tell your daughters to work hard. Don’t push her to go marry someone she can do without in ur bidd to please society. Society will not wipe her regrets @ night. When you know urself enough, u can decide if u want to share ur life n succeses with a man. Some women don’t even want to be married. Are u aware of that? Mtcheeww

    • Authentic Sunshine

      December 8, 2014 at 8:18 pm

      She can get married with her eyes closed as she said.!!!!!!

  3. Mz Socially Awkward...

    December 8, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Girlfriend is properly ticked off… and I’m chortling at the “will it add one extra pimple to your face?” rhetorical question. 🙂

    BN, what is a “visual media practitioner”? Was that on her CV or did y’all just unleash that new nugget from your storehouse of job descriptions? 🙂 🙂

    • tolu

      December 8, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      Visual media practitioner is video music director

    • Thatgidigirl

      December 8, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      Lmao @ store house of job descriptions. Visual media is pretty much what she’s into, “practitioner” is the extra BN packaging. Truly it works, throw it in at the end of every JD and watch it transform…. make up practitioner, liquor mixing practitioner (bartender) etc.

    • Adwoa

      December 8, 2014 at 1:18 pm

      hahahaha….. i actually went straightway to Google to check the definition of that. Google didn’t help so am just here still cracking my brains…..issoriat

    • iyke

      December 8, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      onye nke m kedu?

    • iyke

      December 8, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      @mz Socialy Awkward – Onye nke m, kedu?

    • Authentic Sunshine

      December 8, 2014 at 8:22 pm

      BN,….please help these two people. Please give them each other’s details and let them take it from there. @ Iyke onye ke gi di nnma. @ MSA onye ke gi na aju ese gi.
      Mi? I just need a VIP invite that’s all.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      December 9, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      @Tolu, yes, I got that 🙂

      @Thatgidigirl, nne, I thought that last role you described is now known by the trendy title of “mixologist”. Dat one sexy pass “liquor mixing practitioner”, abeg… bartenders need to jump on it.

      @Adwao… na so we go dey laugh here, e go soon join “selfie” enter Oxford Dictionary 😀

      @Iyke, nwoke oma! Onye ebe anyi! … if only I knew more words to continue toasting you in Igbo with… (and yes, @Authentic Sunshine, I can feel your keen gaze on me as I type this… *hehehehe*)

  4. Neo

    December 8, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    I love this woman! Bottom line, it isn’t anybody’s business.

  5. Olivia Ruth

    December 8, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    I agree. Marriage can be a great blessing – a witness to my parent’s 30 year loving marriage.
    But a woman’s measure of achievement in life cannot and should not be based solely on whether or not she is married.
    Surely, there is more to life – I mean, there’s gotta be!

  6. Jess

    December 8, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    Well said , some people all they care about is to be in other peoples business ! which concern you if she gets married or not. Love all the replies she wrote.

  7. Mystique

    December 8, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    Couldn’t agree more……….#thepressureofbeingasingleladyinNigeria. Mschewww

  8. Thatgidigirl

    December 8, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    People look at a successful single lady and they believe the only thing they can say to hurt her is “go and marry”, bloody dimwits.

  9. Gistyinka Blog

    December 8, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    Hmmmmm very interesting..

  10. Fre

    December 8, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    People keep imposing their opinions, beliefs and values on others.
    It’s a form of terrorism trust me.
    What’s the difference between those people and Boko Haram, al Qeida and co. They’ll soon start stoning unmarried women.
    I don’t know what’s wrong with our brains.
    Yes I want to get married BUT ONLY to the right person.
    If you got married and are happy then be happy for yourself, why try to make other people live your own perception of a perfect life.
    Nigerians and this marriage thing is starting to do my head innnn.
    Marriage is a beautiful thing, but don’t talk or look down on others who aren’t.

    • Bleed Blue

      December 8, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      Form of terrorism!

      Hahahahaha! Love it!

    • Rosalyn

      December 8, 2014 at 11:16 pm

      Thing is, there are wayyyy too many unhappy married nigerian women and misery loves company. Mothers don’t bring girls up to be honest, so instead of telling the truth and looking for how to fix their lives, they bark at single girls to ‘go and marry’. If you are happy, you will assume automatically that others around you are happy. Its sort of how it works.

  11. H

    December 8, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Priiish hit sista!!!!

  12. Shut up jor

    December 8, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Shut up jo
    If you an OAP, celebrity or whatever, expect the world to be involved in your business
    You cannot keep some and open some.
    You cant put up your life on the internet and not expect the eish you get

    And listen my friend, just say people shouldn’t be involved in your life than say they shouldn’t ask bout you getting married. If they cared when you were a kid, nursery school, primary school, when you were sick, when you are at different levels of life, why wouldn’t they care now?

    Better go one cosmos island and stop spitting thrash

    • buttersnap

      December 8, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      @shut up jor..you are/have obviously missing/missed the point of her posts.
      question is must you be defined by the marriage status??must all you do hang on the question is she married??cant people.see beyomd all that??

    • Reverse

      December 8, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      That thing you took is really strong… grab a pillow and sleep it off!

    • NIBU

      December 8, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      umm…..
      1. She never “put her life on the internet”.
      2. Thats not the point of this article.
      3. Did you READ the article?

    • Neo

      December 8, 2014 at 1:32 pm

      Since you are not bold enough to accompany your opinion with even a semi-form of some identity, its so unfortunate we can’t call u out on your stupid simply because you ventured your faceless form and its attendant stupidity onto the internet. She’s ranting about people like you! So because she’s a celeb she should be open to unwanted interference?

    • john bosco

      December 8, 2014 at 1:41 pm

      This is a not a problem for celebrities alone, the Nigerian society has painted marriage as the greatest achievement for a woman, what is so special about something that can easily be done, any man or woman can marry somebody the next day if they want. Maybe if our society plCes emphasis on the things that are real achievements Nigeria Wil be a better place

  13. Grown Woman

    December 8, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    Lool Girl tell em as if marriage will solve all your problems ..people must CALM DOWN with this marriage questions haba!.Let the girl be.At the end of the day, it is none of our business besides God will not come and judge us according to our maritial status 🙂

  14. tolu

    December 8, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    I love kemi bajeee. I dnt knw her buh shes a very hardworking lady. D type that wnt depend on her man when she gets married. An independent lady not dos oloshos that wait for men to fall on. Besides u are ma best video director. U got me with bez en niyolas videos. God story line. I love u. African mentality- go en marry smh

  15. bruno

    December 8, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    we teach girls to shrink themselves. ………………… (u know the rest).

  16. tolu

    December 8, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    I love kemi bajeee. I dnt knw her buh shes a very hardworking lady. D type that wnt depend on her man when she gets married. An independent lady not dos oloshos that wait for men to fall on. Besides u are ma best video director. U got me with bez en niyolas videos. God story line. I love u. African mentality- go en marry smh. Move on gal

  17. andrew

    December 8, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    As much as I dont like all the go and get married pressure , I dont believe people are happy single at a certain age, every one need someone, dont go around lying to yourself that your career is your happiness., deep down she knows shw aint happy if not she wont dedicate so much time to tweet all these crap. THE TRUTH IS BITTER.Having a good career with a husband and kids would make you happier

    • stephy

      December 8, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Pls are u ok? So if she isn’t happy u want to rub it in abi she should just go to ikeja city mall and pick any guy of her choice and marry him abi…Not everytime u type rubbish sometimes think before you type

    • Tosin

      December 8, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      Wo, if I…
      Very sure you are qualified to comment on developmental stages in female human lives and the age at which their happiness starts to depend on a visit to the marriage registry. Andrew the Psychologist 😉

    • LotusFlower

      December 8, 2014 at 2:15 pm

      Her being happy or unhappy about her marital status does not give people the right to insult her because she is unmarried. Your comment doesn’t even make sense. Did she say that she doesn’t want anyone? She is simply saying that it is rude of people to constantly inquire about her marital status and minimize her accomplishments because she is not married. Whether she is happy or unhappy is none of your business.

    • bruno

      December 8, 2014 at 2:42 pm

      @andrew. did u drink ur meds today?

    • nala

      December 8, 2014 at 2:45 pm

      Andrew, you’re an idiot. Being unmarried doesn’t necessarily mean one is single. How can you tell she’s unhappy? Did she tell you that? Idiots sit down behind their computers and write the rubbish they are thinking. Please, go and hug a transformer. Anu ofia!

    • Banke

      December 8, 2014 at 2:54 pm

      Thank you Andrew! to add to it, I think in the modern society that we are today, women get too career oriented all in the name of miss independence. Yes it’s good to be a career woman but at the same time carry other things along. If she remains single for the next five years, it’s those advocating her stance that will then begin to feel sorry for her.

      And before anyone says anything, I’m also a career oreinted woman, at the same time open to getting married as soon as he propeoses. Ikan o di kan lowo!

    • jhennique

      December 8, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      Can u read? she isnt saying she wudnt love to be married. if it was easy your boyfriend or whoever would have proposed to you long ago. you wouldnt have to be waiting. what if he doesnt propose in the next five years? u go kill am?
      U people just dont get, u work so hard to build a life u gotta be careful who u marry into it cos not everybody is marriage material and trust me the right partner is not easy to find. let God just help your life, that is all!

    • john bosco

      December 8, 2014 at 4:00 pm

      Let me get this straight according to Banke and Andrew a woman can only be happy at a certain age if she is married, so what happens to widows and women in failed marriages do they die of misery? Pls stop with your ignorant statements

    • Idomagirl

      December 8, 2014 at 7:54 pm

      Banke you clearly cannot read. Nowhere did Kemi say she was against marriage. Nowhere did she say she choose a career over a husband (and even if she did so what?)

    • Nicole

      December 8, 2014 at 9:09 pm

      What if he does not propose? You are not in control of whether he decides to marry you or not. He may just be passing time with you. Open up your brain career-minded woman!!

    • lala

      December 9, 2014 at 2:10 am

      Laughing in Swahili. It seems u have a very naive view on things. Being married or being with someone is NOT insurance against loneliness later in life. There are many people who have been married 20, 30, 40 years who DREAM of waking up, packing their bags and disappearing from their families, men and women alike. People who would spend 10 hours in the office, or come into the office on Saturday because they cannot bear to be at home. All those people you see at every wedding every weekend, never with their spouse (except for family events so as to keep up appearances). The ones that take business trips every 2 months, the ones that are ALWAYS in church/mosque by themselves because that is the only place they can find peace. If you think that marrying will give you peace in your old age, best of luck, I know of a few instances where 70year olds kill their wives of 50 years (of course this is naija, all hush hush).

      A family friend who had spent her life career oriented (yes Nigerian), after establishing a successful practice went to on t have her own children by surrogacy in her late forties. My own mother told me that she wished she had known she had that option, she would have taken her time settling down.

      if you want to get married, fine do it for the right reasons not because everybody is doing this. And thank god for modern society; I wake up everyday and that God for the grace of being born in a time when women have so many options i.e. adoption, IVF, sperm banks, freezing eggs. Seen the hell too many women go through in the name of being Mrs. , heard so many stories of what goes on behind the appearances people try so hard to keep. Mehn, smokes and mirrors; don’t let anyone deceive you. Truly happy people don’t care about what you do, like someone here already stated, they mostly assume everyone else is happy. Misery LOVES company so beware of anyone pushing marriage down you throat. They just want a fellow inmate.

      And honestly, I don’t remember hearing you got a gold medal or a crown in heaven for getting married. My own two cents

      (sorry for any grammatical errors made during this rant)

    • Truth Teller

      December 9, 2014 at 10:05 am

      People like you Banke, Andrew and like minds get me sick, learn to read for heaven’s sake! Marriage is a life time commitment, get it right if you must get married.

      The age at which she decides to settle down is not anyone’s business, mind and face yours. It’s people like you that make women settle for anything just because society demands women to settle at a particular time, who made you judge? Some people get it right by 18, others by 40 or even older!

    • Nahum

      December 8, 2014 at 5:51 pm

      What about if her husband is a lying, cheating, miserable basturd….do u think she will be happy? Look, marriage is not a walk in the park. It is very hard and you have to make sure you are ready for that phase. Plus Naija men make marriage so much harder so kudos to her for building a successful career for herself and kids. She is happy and we should all be happy for her.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      December 9, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      “basturd”. I like what you did there 🙂

    • Que

      December 8, 2014 at 6:50 pm

      Thanks a bunch for the concern about her happiness Andrew…. so what have you done about it? Surely you can’t just end at talking cheap like a common average person…..

    • Idomagirl

      December 8, 2014 at 7:52 pm

      Says who? You must be living in a cave if you think marriage is an automatic recipe for happiness. And just because someone isn’t married doesn’t mean that they are lonely and sad, there are LOTS of people in happy relationships who choose not to get married.

    • Bimbo

      December 8, 2014 at 9:36 pm

      Andrew because you believe it then it must be true? That’s rather myopic, don’t you think.? There are lots of people who actually think different from the way you think. Some women don’t even ever want to get married, some who are married badly want to leave and of course there are some who are crazy happy being married. Basically ,not everybody is YOU!

    • tee

      December 9, 2014 at 1:40 am

      You are so foolish Andrew , i am surprised you can even read and type….

    • bey

      December 9, 2014 at 8:45 am

      am of a certain age….and am happy. Do you think marriage make people happier……hmmmmm…..

  18. iyke

    December 8, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    My Musing!!!!
    For those who think that marriage is all that matters …. Think about it deeply!
    Who taught you to be small? Who taught you that your light couldn’t shine through the fractures and scars/pains and challenges of marriage?
    Who told you to accept what you were given and did not want?
    Who told you that any love was better than searching for the one only meant for you? The one that has always been inside of you?
    I tell you ladies, do not listen to them!
    Their mouths are full of turpentine and cyanide. They will strip all that is gold from your feathered limbs and leave you unraveled.
    You were not meant to be grounded. You need the crisp air, a belly full of laughter, a heart carrying so much love you feel the seams stretching.
    Mostly, you need to realize that one by one the population has swelled to billions, but even still, you were hand selected, all beauty and flaw, to never be replicated.
    Ladies, if only you KNOW ……. YOU are the finest arts to have ever been created. You are powerful. Get on your feet and create the life you have always wanted, and WATCH MEN bow down in adoration for you.
    Liberate yourselves!

    • E

      December 8, 2014 at 2:35 pm

      Reading this just made me stand up and do a little I-love-myself-to-bits happy dance

    • dobby

      December 8, 2014 at 5:51 pm

      Iyke! ! My daughter is just 4, but I just read your piece to her, and I’ve saved it and I’ll definitely be reading it to her again. Thanks Bro!

    • dobby

      December 8, 2014 at 5:59 pm

      What..? Did you really type That? Oga abi madam testimony. ? If you are married then I feel sorry for your children….. even if you know Kemi personally, to call her out like that on a public forum just show you are the one with a bad character

  19. Fabulicious

    December 8, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    All these tweets….It must have really hurt.She could have given her critics the silent treatment while they watch her succeed.

  20. Tosin

    December 8, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    Go and get a Nobel Prize.
    Yes ma.
    *Standing ovation.*

    Long story, I’ve obviously been getting nagged a lot about the marry marry thing for, um, at least ten years. Most days I can’t imagine what I would do with it. I mean, if I was a Yoruba dude, I might go in for the free help and side-chicks deal, cos I like food swallow o Thai o Ethiopian o, but as a woman it looks like there’s nothing in the deal for me. Let me delete the crass part of my comment. Somebody needs to offer me some value, nowhaamean? See, I’m actually open 😉

    • jhennique

      December 8, 2014 at 3:33 pm

      Azzin i just dnt get it. The mentality in this country is killing us. Once a woman is over 30 her chances of getting a man are slimmer. Even the mans mother sef will be asing if he didnt see all those young girls to marry. Azzin we just need a total re orientation in this part of the world. Its appaling

    • Banke

      December 8, 2014 at 4:07 pm

      Hey pls calm down! No be fight. I should be asking if you can read too. Let’s both agree to disagree. Goodluck to you 🙂

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      December 9, 2014 at 3:18 pm

      @Tosin, can I please admit that all this while, I always thought you were a dude? An assumption made because your comments sound very chilled out (almost horizontally so). No offence intended. 🙂

    • Tosin

      December 10, 2014 at 9:47 pm

      That’s a compliment, innit? Thanks.
      What is horizontally?

  21. Bisi

    December 8, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    TIWA that got married, People are still all up in her business.
    LESSON OF THE DAY: Continue to do you whether married or no married
    OK SIMPLES

    • jhennique

      December 8, 2014 at 3:31 pm

      GBAM!!!!

  22. madman

    December 8, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    It’s the Nigerian culture. Even look at BN… When they post event pictures, they start with couples first. Sad but true

  23. bimbola

    December 8, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    Go and marry.

  24. Ephi

    December 8, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    Oh wow, she is really upset. The thing is people WILL always talk, it’s best to just ignore them. That’s my own policy sha.

  25. jhennique

    December 8, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Tell Them Abeg!!!! Well Frigging Said. Awon -. Pardon my french pls

  26. honeymix...

    December 8, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    @iyke, you are so sweet. i love this most ‘YOU are the finest arts to have ever been created. You are powerful. Get on your feet and create the life you have always wanted, and WATCH MEN bow down in adoration for you.’ Bless you Sweetheart.

  27. bruno

    December 8, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    marriage and sex are the most over rated things in nigeria

    if u are not married, dont feel down, you are not missing much. nobody is monitoring your where abouts.

  28. Hey Kemi, I wonder if you can hug that job and that house when you are grey and old. Is it impossible to be married and still be a success? Ask Margaret Thatcher, The Queen of England or even closer Folorunsho Alakija, the richest black woman in the world who still cooks for her husband. You people need to stop using your careers as a facade. The truth is this; IWA E O DA! You are a woman with a bad character, very materialistic with misplaced priorities. Are you as busy as Beyonce or Kim K ni? Je ka gboran jare!
    mytestimonys.blogspot.com/2014/12/cozas-thanksgiving-service-at-new.html

    • mimi

      December 8, 2014 at 4:51 pm

      And your blog is about testimony and church!!!! May the Lord you are claiming to serve help you. You are a mean person with a very horrible character based on your comment. My goodness

    • Daizzy

      December 8, 2014 at 4:58 pm

      I’m too amazed at your stupidity to comment further!

    • Just 'Sayin

      December 8, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      You have won my award for the ‘MOST IGNORANT BLOG COMMENTER ON BN IN 2014’

      If I were BN’s moderators, I would not have approved your comment but oh well, thanks to free press via the internet.

      To think that you are even floating a ‘christian’ blog with your blog ID. Hypocrites like you make me want to vomit my intestines! Promoting fake sexual predator Coza pastors shows your level of awareness and enlightenment.

      If you don’t know, life has no guarantees. Numerous research shows women outlive men and whilst that house, job and money might still be there when you are old and grey, the husband might not even be alive.

      It is people like you who encourage young women to marry off young and not teach them how to learn a skill, trade or get an education before and after marriage.

      Your life view disgusts me!

      Kemi, you are a role model any day. I will continue to bless your parents for training you up to be the role model you are as a hard working female entrepreneur who is not broke and can afford to pay her bills whilst humbling herself enough to look forward to marrying at the right time.

      May God bless you.

    • VeryAngryNigerian

      December 8, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Please take a seat, lean back and shut up. So na character dem dey take marry? …… So how come a lot of women with bad character are married? Hope your good character will keep your marriage till eternity. Be careful how you mock people’s situation because you have no clue what their story is. I remember there was this woman that wrote that all women of marriageable age that are single is because of their attitude. Shortly after, even with her supposedly angelic attitude her husband threw her out of his house. She came back with the story of domestic abuse, which I guess her angelic attitude couldn’t stop. Good for her she has again re-married. I’m sure when she made that statement she never knew fate could play a fast one on her. If you feel marriage defines you, she has a right to feel marriage doesn’t define her. Not in this age of all these fake marriages all around, some of you haven’t hugged your spouse since the wedding day photos, and y’ll be acting brand new…..shior

    • Que

      December 8, 2014 at 7:12 pm

      Look at who is talking about ‘iwa e o da’….. your limited thinking capacity is painful to watch…..

      So in your books, married people are all well behaved with have good attitudes, and marriage is the prize for good behaviour?…. lest we forget they are also not materialistic at all….
      You even brought matter of house hugging her when she is old and grey, abeg who is hugging the women that have been widowed for 30yrs and counting?

      Walahi even attempting to reason with you, is IQ diminishing…..you’re clearly way too limited in your thinking, your identity, your purpose, and your existence for sure!

      Damn you even just compared her to Kim K, I almost wish you a daughter with Kim K’s pedigree….except she is innocent of ur stupidity till you inflict her. Are you even for real?????!!! You have d nerve to speak of character!!!

    • john bosco

      December 8, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      Nothing will make me click your stupid testimony link. What an ignorant shallow comment. If a woman is not married can’t she adopt children and still be in a relationship? Abi na only married women get access to men? Illiterate. There are a lot of women and men that don’t want to marry, respect that and keep your shallow opinion to yourself. Marriage won’t take you to heaven.

    • DADALIYAT

      December 8, 2014 at 10:07 pm

      Neither will fornication.LOL

    • brownchocolate

      December 8, 2014 at 10:53 pm

      My dear Jesus Christ of Nazareth fulfilled his mission earth for 33 years and he never took a wife. He never married. You think marriage defines a person? Its really nobody’s business if a person, male or female decides to marry or not. I maintain that if being single makes you happier in life and doesnt stop you from fulfilling your mission on earth then so be it. Go and see how young couples are divorcing these days. For many, its all about the grand ceremony and being able to boast that they had the best wedding party of the year. But what happens after the wedding ceremony?

    • Truth Teller

      December 9, 2014 at 10:28 am

      My goodness, did she say she is against marriage combined with career? Why can’t you READ? Please away with your holier than thou attitude. She will get married to the right person at the right time.

    • JJ

      December 11, 2014 at 4:53 pm

      Your comment is extremely stupid! She never said she won’t get married or she is against marriage. Read the article before you type these senseless ignorant comments.

    • bee

      December 16, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      who are the people that read your blog??? and to think you go to Coza,you people always amaze me,iwo tiiwa e da.Let’s see your achievements o,smh!

  29. spoonfullofsugar

    December 8, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    It’s one thing to be married it’s another to be happily married.

    • The Bull

      December 8, 2014 at 8:20 pm

      Thank you, anybody can marry anybody, that is not the problem, in fact it is very easy. but are you happily married? That should be the question

  30. belle

    December 8, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    such a shallow statement you just made. i bet u r a very sad and bitter person. smh. the point is not to pressure young women successful or otherwise into marriage but of course you wouldnt know that if it sat on your face

  31. aisha

    December 8, 2014 at 5:41 pm

    Go and Marry oo your old woman. shut up.

    • Truth Teller

      December 9, 2014 at 10:44 am

      Aisha, you must be a very mean, hateful person, intimidated by the success of other women like Kemi. Instead of celebrating her success, the only thing that bothers you is her age and marital status. No wonder marriages are miserable and don’t last because with the likes of you, people settle for anything for fear of being called ‘old and unmarried’. I’ve seen women who have diminished because they got into the wrong marriage, emphasis on wrong. Marriage is a beautiful thing ordained by God, not man and I can’t remember seeing an age limit for that. Our prayer for Kemi and other hard working women who wouldn’t just settle is that when they eventually settle, they get it right! You define the word HATER!

  32. andrew

    December 8, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    This sudden mentality young Nigerians have is really disturbing. All of you calling me out are just foolish. Growing up, before this stupid mentality all of you have, Im sure you all grew up looking forward to getting married and suddenly everyone is forming having a career. She is just a video director for crying out loud not like she is some top investment banker or something. mytestimony.blogspot is spot on.It is greed that keep most of these women single.. She is probably waiting for a billionaire that will never come.

    • Tosin

      December 9, 2014 at 3:10 am

      How you make these false statements, na wa for you o: ” Im sure you all grew up looking forward to… ” ah, ahn. Please learn. You’re not representing the males well joo.

    • Que

      December 9, 2014 at 8:04 am

      It is indeed a geat relief that I have grown up with males with a wider point of view, had I been limited to your limited reasoning I might have lost hope for the entire male folk.

      Sudden mentality my 80s ass!

    • Adaobi

      December 9, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      Andrew you are EXTREMELY ignorant.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      December 9, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      Kai, you’ve spoilt my good mood with your incredible stupidity. See me here, that just come to read comments (and hail my people), determined not to have any contrary reaction to certain statements I’ve read up to this point and then your idiocy came along to change things. She’s “just a video director”, ehn kwa? Not “an investment banker or anything like that”, ehn kwa?? Buffoon. I repeat, you are a Grade “A” ass-hat (okay, that wasn’t actually a literary repetition of what I said earlier, but you get the general picture…).

      So she doesn’t have a career or earn any respect for WORKING HARD to MAKE HER OWN MONEY/NAME and finding HER OWN PATH IN LIFE because she is “just a video director”? You clearly possess the intelligence of a one-cell organism, you moronic homo sapien. How are you managing to still flounder about in the pool of your own ignorance, without just completely drowning in it? Ehn kwa?? Please, allow me shout it again from the rooftops – you are a benighted idiot.

      Oh? What’s that righteously indignant protest that I can hear you making? You’re not a halfwit?? Ngwanu – define “career”.

      Cretin.

    • Que

      December 10, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      Lmao @ seeing you lose your cool! Hahahaahaa….I sooo feel you sister!

  33. spoonfullofsugar

    December 8, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    @aisha, she did not say she does not want to marry. She’s just not like you that is willing to settle for anything because u have no options

    • aisha

      December 9, 2014 at 4:19 am

      Av heard oo kemi is old ok simple she’s looking for a president that’s why she’s this old ok I have options am rich and married how about that. Olli.

  34. Idomagirl

    December 8, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    It’s sad that in 2014 women still have to deal with this nonsense. Even worse that most of this pressure comes from other women. Big shame.

    With the way we idolise marriage you would think that the most happily married people on earth are in Nigeria. Everywhere I look people are committing adultery and cheating on their partners with no remorse or shame whatsoever, yet we no go hear word.

    Live and let live. Marriage is not the ultimate neither is it a guarantee for happiness. Leave women alone and face your lives.

  35. Que

    December 8, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    I’m going to just drop my cents on a recurring arguement I have heard from a few ladies in the real and virtual world…..

    When this issue is raised I’ve heard many people tell single ladies ‘career is not an excuse’, ‘ ‘marriage and career are not mutually exclusive’….yada yada yada….

    How about I turn this around for a minute ‘stop using kids as an excuse to stay at home, get a job…’ or i can also suggest ‘..maternity leave?…..who needs that… are ur mates in some parts of the world not at work 3wks post delivery….get off your lazy asss!….. bla bla…

    And so it continues… the list of what I can and cannot tell you about your lifestyle and choices, which may or may not be your top choice, but you’re working it anyways!….

    Where does the madness end?

    You see at certain times in our lives we have made judgement calls, and aging responsibly means you get to live with the consequence of your choices….. Do you really believe you’re in the best position to tell me what and what consequences I am able or unable to live with??

    Similarly we forget, the reason I wont bother you with senseless suggestions about marrying or not marrying; working or staying at home; maternity leave or not etc….is because every season comes differently, with its own requirements….. if you’re in the season where you need to be on top of your family life cos of trust issues with hubby/nannies for instance….then go on ahead without worrying that I’m going to judge you as lazy or underachieving! Same also you cant tell me what season in my life to be more hasty about work goals or marriage….. Can we count the number of dreams and/or ideas with the potential to chage our world, that have been sacrificed on the altar of ”I got married, kids started coming….no time or he won’t let me…’.Even career driven married women still pay some price….. should I be the dictator of what price they pay?? … As I am not here to live on your behalf, I can only hope you’re happy with your choice. Kpomkwem!

    If I am not married as an educated adult, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING with my time….. some females fall into this category by unplanned events, some by choice….What is it to you?

    Also, for the sake of ‘Purpose’…..how many people benefit from one person’s marriage? You readily forget some of these ‘career women’ are directly responsible for your daily bread by employing your husband and yourself….. please where is the crime in trying to be of some use to your society?

    Marriage wasnt intended to make you feel like ‘you’ve arrived’……unfortunately this is what many pple go in to achieve, hence the drastic failures rates! It’s intended for building, not tearing down… so the next time you feel the need to remind Aunty Funmi that her career and marriage arent mutually exclusive, pls choose to worry first about what value your marriage
    has added to the related and non related people around you.

    Long live married couples and marriages and long live every single hustler on a journey!

    • Iya Eko

      December 8, 2014 at 10:50 pm

      Que, abi? Wo, you just slapped the crazies! 10,000 GBAMs for you. In fact, if only half the world would think like this.

  36. lol

    December 8, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    lol im 20 now but i said before i even marry i WILL finish MED school. I didn’t not come into the world to follow follow another person. I had dreams before I met you.

  37. Dr. N

    December 8, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    After typing, read your comment to yourself, putting yourself in the shoes of the addressee. Then feel how “kind” your comment is. It’s never fair to twist a knife into a raw wound. Let us not hide behind d anonymity of d net to inflict emotional wounds.
    @iyke, welcome back. Beautiful poem. Every woman you work with is blessed, as are u

  38. observer

    December 8, 2014 at 10:32 pm

    lols, everyone has something to say. Knowledge is power. First of all, no matter how globalized we think we are, some things will take time to change. For example, the issue of marriage. We are the first generation after our mothers who think marriage is not compulsory. Why are we acting like we were born into it? This shift in mentality will take place slowly. its like someone meeting you for the first time and asking, ‘what church do you attend?’. Number one, how do you know i’m interested in going to church? number 2, why do you know i’m a christian? But it is a very Nigerian thing because almost everyone goes to church or mosque. So make una calm down

  39. brown-ice

    December 8, 2014 at 11:05 pm

    I woke up like this, we’re flawless, ladies tell em………ladies threaten the boys and impress the men……..I think we all know she threatens the boys

  40. The Bull

    December 8, 2014 at 11:47 pm

    As a career woman, she is creating jobs and touching lives, putting food on the tables of people, how many lives has your marriage or marriage certificate affected positively? plus she never said she would not marry..

  41. Pweddy pie

    December 9, 2014 at 12:44 am

    Do we know the number of women who are married but regret going into it in the first place?
    Do we know how much some women wish they were given the opportunity to pursue their dreams instead of being force to marry against their will?
    Do we know how much women are maltreated and shattered by men claiming to be their husbands yet not inspiring enough to motivate their wife’s to bring out the girl power in them( empowering them to sore in their educations and careers)
    Truth is that marriage is not everything one needs to survive in this world, gone are the days where marriage was a all a woman was made for and could live for but hey times have change now. We have more women who are doing well in all sectors of society and they didn’t climb to that high bcos they were married to one man or the other. They got there bcos they educated, empowered and inspired themselves, we hail such women bcos they took a bold stand, sacrificed most of their marriageable years for success and they never regretted it. It’s better for a woman to marry the man of her dreams becos of what she has achieved for herself than to be married out of pity and poverty and be maltreated and trashed at the end bcos u have nothing to fall on if ur husband decides not to take care of you. Lastly one thing I want to make clear is that it’s God who formulates marriage and when it’s your time he will bring your Adam that will fit perfectly and beautifully. No need to rush into anything that will jeopardize your life forever.

  42. tee

    December 9, 2014 at 2:01 am

    To all you foolish ones who think after school and earning your peanuts ,its time to get married (esp without a spouse), you are the reason divorce rate is high .

    You pressurize your foolish mates, then turn around to abuse them if their marriages don’t work ,

    I have been fortunate to be indifferent ,hence my mothers cry every year on my birthday would have blocked my eyes . I started this year as a single lady ,some called me a career lady but those i lived with knew i am a home girl.

    As i am typing , i am in a relationship with someone who cares about my life and well-being more than i do myself,but he is a pain in my ass , temperamental and super annoying and he has made me see that marriage is not what you should be gunning for ,but someone who is the pain in your ass ,super annoying that you can stand ,and most importantly can stand you and your rubbish .

    Ask anyone in a happy relationship , its only God and people talk doesn’t do shit, its a measure of their personality.

    If you think being single is a problem , try being married unhappy ,the level of issue is another height .

  43. Just me

    December 9, 2014 at 3:01 am

    This topic of marriage after a certain age is not a new conversation in Nigeria. Even our parents gossip and worry about it in front of us or behind us.
    I guess she needed a medium to air out her frustration, I can understand she was upset by what the person said to her.
    It is well Kemi, keep doing you. Hopefully, he shows up soon.

  44. me

    December 9, 2014 at 9:33 am

    Na wa o. The affordability of internet access and phones makes some people just yarn trash. A lot of commentators haven’t been married. Just do a small survey of 10 married men & women. You go fear fear. You Will understand why we as individuals must be fulfilled before bonding with another. Kemi soar & fly. Some comments are borne out of envy. Marriage don becoming visa to heaven, happiness, fulfillment etc

  45. newbie

    December 9, 2014 at 9:49 am

    Woooow! Someone’s angry…….

  46. newbie

    December 9, 2014 at 10:09 am

    Notwithstanding the above though, yes career and marriage are not mutually exclusive. Most of the women at the top of their game that I know both from work and socially, are married.

    Granted that going off to have babies does take women off the career ladder for a bit and some don’t actually want to go back to work or find it daunting after a while of being away, some still ease their way back in. My point is if you are career – minded and want to raise a family, please don’t let anybody convince you that it’s either or.

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      December 9, 2014 at 3:51 pm

      Babe, where’ve you been? My excitement at seeing you back in this space can’t even be properly shown after all the ire that microbe (andrew) has stirred up within my spirit. The Good Lord knows that He and I need to continue working on my temper/patience.

      Anyways, it’s good to see (i.e. read from) you and I hope all’s been well.

    • newbie

      December 15, 2014 at 3:05 am

      Awww, that’s a heartwarming welcome! I dey o, just been ducking and diving and everything in between. Missed being here too!

  47. JUSTGOLD

    December 9, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    HMMMMMMM well take it or leave it, 95% of married people both men and women if given the opportunity will take a break from their marriages. its good to get married but make sure you are going into it for the right reasons not because everybody is getting marred.

    • Udokamma

      December 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      Just shut up. Don’t quote statistics you know nothing about.

  48. Biggest Survivor

    December 9, 2014 at 7:30 pm

    Hmmmmm…. the issue of marriage is a very complex one, Best for us to marry our soulmates. But ladies sometimes hide under the notion of CAREER and try forging that marriage is not Important, I have been in the singleton for a while and I know the struggle is real, Truth is many ladies really want to have a home. Whereas some really don’t care. My aunty is 50+ a medical consultant in UK never been married, no kids, her CV will gives fashola shiversssss… Is she lonely I don’t know, but i just feel it would have been better to share all that with someone. Marriage is all about companionship, You are married is not an achievement, but you have made your marriage work 10 years, 15, 20, 30, then that to me is an achievement worthy of emulation. I have been single for a while , had my masters, certificates, entered for a PHD all below 25, got a good job and now am engaged and trust me it is sweet, that companionship is something i will give everything for, the fact i have best friend, i know boo’s got my back, i know i have a cheerleader. Man if only he had come sooner when i was battling with my Harvard papers in a cold and quiet room. I can’t wait for my cuties to show them love and hear that magical word MUMMY, Cos my life is too amazing to share it all alone. I have been that career girl, battling Harvard, LBS, tearing boardroom, and directors apart, i have been that broken hearted girl tearing up after been dumped on her birthday, i have been that girl whose mother bring bible passages to from different pastors on why she is single, I am that girl who got a dude that worships her. If you are not freaked about marriage you are not wrong, but if you really want it PLEASE SCREAM IT OUT AND DON’T HIDE UNDER CAREER. #SORRYFORMYEPISTLE #justhadtospillitout #HAPPY ME

    • Tosin

      December 10, 2014 at 9:56 pm

      I’m happy for you (not sarcastic)
      This share with someone formula is kinda cheesy no? Why not share with two someones? Five someones? It’s just a thing you happen to like, not everybody wants the same.

  49. Busola Adedire

    Oluwabusola Adedire

    December 9, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    It is painful to read some of these comments.. Cyber-bulling is never O.K… I think more people need understand the fact that our stories are different.. This is not a case of what she is doing right or wrong. It is a case of the paths we tread, and they are completely different.

    • NIBU

      December 10, 2014 at 9:53 pm

      Your comment is so simple and so on point that I think you deserve more likes 🙂 thank you

  50. true_talker

    December 10, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    Lots of women find their identity in their marital status and other women tend to believe that regardless of the success you have achieved, if you aint married, you arent ish! Such narrow minded people. Totally agree with Kemi. You identity is being who are you called to be by God., What happened to finding who are you, becoming a better you and impacting your generation? There is more to marriage than life and the society, needs to stop putting pressure on women. There’s nothing wrong with being over 30 and not married. I hate it when people look down on you like you have a disease because you arent married. I cant count the number of times i have been told “you are pretty and smart, how come you are still single?” Maybe I am still single because God is still working on that man, who will love me for me, and help me achieve the goals He (God) has in store for me. Albeit, how difficult it is, please dont let anyone, not even your parents and most importantly yourself, be pressured into marrying someone you have no business marrying. Discover who you are, know God, travel, make new friends and BE HAPPY!!! Life is too short to dwell on what you dont have. Thank God for life and enjoy it because no one is promised tomorrow and this life aint got a Part 2. God bless…

  51. Belar20

    December 11, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    I wonder why these our so called divas gets in an uproar whenever the issue of marriage is being broached on! They always come up with one nonexistent episodes in their past.

  52. chayi

    December 12, 2014 at 10:09 am

    Thank u ooooooooooo Kemi. God will bless u for me. God has got perfect timing for each and everyone of us. For those who just open thr mouths to talk, they are not any better. Keep been yourself. I am impressed by women that goes to work to make ends meet. Like my Indian boss would say” if I wasn’t married, I wld have bn up thr” shs not sayn marriage is bad. Regardless of how long it is, it will come nd pass.

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