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Failed Marriages in Nollywood: Stakeholders Share Their Perspectives on How Fame Affects Family Life

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Some movie producers have attributed most failed marriages among Nollywood actresses to their inability to draw the line between the professional demands and family responsibilities.

The producers, who made this known to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in separate interviews in Abuja on Tuesday, said that societal pressures were also responsible for their inability to enjoy stable marriages.

Benson Akindeju, producer of television drama series Family Ties said most failed marriages among Nollywood actresses were due to their inability to draw the line between the profession and family.

Akindeju stated that although Nollywood actresses had used some of their movies to mend the cracks in the unions of some viewers, many of their own marriages had been characterised with heartbreaks, separations and divorces.

“I think the problem starts with their inability to manage stardom and professional success. They could be humble at the initial stage of their careers, but the moment fame comes they tend to lose everything.

They forget that no matter the situation, an African man will always want to command respect from his wife.

They always forget that nothing lasts forever. No matter her fame or achievements, a woman without a husband may not be regarded as a successful person in the African context,’’ he said.

Bisi Bada, a Nollywood producer, in a telephone interview with NAN said the way the society regards actors and actresses as semi-gods affects them in the home front.

She said that people do have issues in their marriages but the public usually do not know about them because they are not popular like actresses or actors.

“The way and manner our young people take our actresses as role models has given them undue publicity and they are not living within reality. So, marital problems that lead to divorce happen in our society daily and are not restricted to Nollywood.

I am using this opportunity to call on all our actors and actresses in the industry to see themselves as having roles toplay toward encouraging the marriage institution. This they can do by making their individual marriages work no matter the challenges they are facing,’’ she said.

Tosin Abikoye, a civil servant said that actresses had desecrated the marriage institution with their serial divorce predilections in recent times.

“Marriage is an institution ordained by God but Nigerian celebrities do not tend to believe in it with their different breakups. I implore them to have a change of attitudes toward marriage and begin to tolerate the ups and down it presents to them.

The list of Nollywood actresses facing marital challenges seems to be endless, while some have tasted broken marriages, others have continued over the years to be eligible sprinters.”

Photo Credit:Bryan Creely/Dreamstime.com

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) was established by the Federal Government of Nigeria in May 1976 to gather and distribute news on Nigeria and cover events of interest to Nigeria at the international level for the benefit of the Nigerian Media and the Public.

17 Comments

  1. b-west

    March 11, 2015 at 9:31 am

    #yawns ..abeg make we hear ! na today y***** dey back ? their kettle of fish priss.

  2. OD

    March 11, 2015 at 9:55 am

    Marriage is all about patient, perseverance, tolerance. It is only when a husband gets physical I advise a wife to leave. Outside that I think every woman should be able to cope. The rate of divorce is Nigeria is generally high, not only in the Nollywood and, I ask myself is it that easy to pull out of marriage? Where children are involved in a marriage, the woman should always think of the psycological effect it will have on the children.

    If you ask me I think most Nollywood actresses just go into marriage to make babies and get out later, so that they can galivant around, I may be wrong.

    December 19 will make it 20 years I have been married, my husband takes care of the family very well, he lives up to his responsibilities all the time. It is natural for married couples to have miss understanding, we quarrel most times but we settle immediately.

    • Nahum

      March 11, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      As usual, the woman, the woman, the woman. We never address the responsibility of a man to work hard to make his marriage work. THIS is the reason for the rising rates of divorce in Africa. As long as African men do not feel any compulsion to make their marriages work and are always looking for a reason to be violent or commit adultery, marriages will continue to break down because African women are not taking bull kaka anymore.

      Whether you are an actress or a regular woman, as long as you are in a marriage where your husband does not care, you will either die of frustration or get out.

  3. Glamorous

    March 11, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    “They forget that no matter the situation, an AFRICAN MAN will always want to command respect from his wife.” I could not read beyond this statement.
    blody bla bla bla bla bla and that why the so called African man will continue to treat their women with disrespect. Define “african man” for me abeg!!
    Personally I do not believe that there is anything like ” African man” is just a term given to permit Nigerian men to get away with a lot of nonsense. abegi!
    Man is man! what I will not accept from any man on another part of the globe, I will not accept from an African man. gbam!

    • Truth Teller

      March 11, 2015 at 1:34 pm

      Thank you glamorous. Respect is reciprocal and both parties deserve it, it’s not something reserved for men only. Why does it seem like the blame of failed marriages are always on women? What happened to the supposed heads of the home, aren’t they supposed to be in charge? Why are women always painted as evil and men saints, like they don’t contribute to a vast number of failed marriages as well? Women have turned to an abject of mockery every time, society can’t wait to blame women. It’s sad.

    • Nahum

      March 11, 2015 at 3:38 pm

      In our society, it is always a woman’s fault. Our men are always exonerated. This is why our men are so infantile in thinking and reaction. Our men need to step up to the plate and work hard to deserve the title of Head of the House.

    • Ross

      March 11, 2015 at 3:39 pm

      Look, you pulled the words out of my mouth honestly. Everywhere there is a conversation on failed marriages, NO ONE refers to the mans role and his inability to understand that he has a huge responsibility and role to play in whether or not his marriage works. We are in 2015. Men have responsibilities too. If a marriage is going to work, the man has to step up to understand that the challenges his woman faces are different than the challenges his mother faced. His mother didnt have to work like a dog to make ends meet, because his dads salary and the economic situation was more suitable to accommodate 1-salary in a house hold. Everything falls on the womans head in Africa. The men are permanently shirking responsibility and this is shameful. Then they make statements like ‘No matter her fame or achievements, a woman without a husband may not be regarded as a successful person in the African context,’’ Really????? These men need to catch up oh. Women have a choice now and that argument no longer holds. And one of those choices is not to accommodate the laziness and self-indulging ways of many men today. Women today want responsible men, not big children who stress you instead of protect you and make your hair grey at 44!!!

    • fifi

      March 11, 2015 at 1:51 pm

      @glamorous, ur response is the reason the rate of divorce keeps increasing. Believe it or not a man (African or not) is the head of the family and should be respected. It is written somewhere in d bible that women should submit to their husbands the bible didn’t say rub shoulders with ur husband. The bible also stated that men should respect their wives n treat them well. I don’t in a way support domestic violence whether physical or verbal. Our mothers were married, those days divorce and separation were minimal. Reasons we have a lots of broken marriages cos we women think “yeah we have opened our eyes” what a man can do a woman can equally do” I own a company with over 100 peeps on my payroll why d he’ll do I need to be under a man, why should I descend so low to cook for a man, do his laundry n all. Some will be like “I pay d bills at home so I’m d boss”. the issue of failed and attempted marriages will get worse if we women don’t change all these. Yeah I am a woman happily married with a kid. I work, I have small biz n still I manage my home.

    • Ndidiamaka

      March 11, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      Fifi, I love it when people bring up this tired argument of the Bible says “The man is the head…” In Ephesians 5. Please read that chapter again Biko! Especially verses 21 thru 33 before u start pointing laser beam on vs. 22-24. Verse 21 clearly states “And further submit to ONE ANOTHER out of reverence for Christ”. NLT verses 25 thru 32 talk about what this husband as a head of his home is supposed to do for his wife; the husband is to be as “pure” and “without blemish as Christ” is to the Church even onto death!! Have several seats because Nigerian & African women are SO FRIGGING DONE with accepting rubbish in the name of marriage that u men obviously have no respect for. U can’t have your cake, have been eating it for decades & be getting pissed when hungry man turns to h-angry man. We are tired. U will continue to see divorces or even better more & more Nigerian women looking to other ethnicities for their spouses. The quality Nigerian men these days are too few. Let’s work to ensure the next generation of Nigerian women & men are upstanding citizens respectful of what each gender brings to the table.

    • Ndidiamaka

      March 11, 2015 at 9:05 pm

      And congratulations on being able to manage your home & a full time business! My sincerest hope is that your husband recognizes & appreciates the effort u r putting into ur marriage & is putting in 100% too. I am all for gender equality but I think most people hear equality or feminism & see it as a threat to manhood or a belief that a women especially successful ones are “wanting to become men” & “don’t have any respect for their husbands, that’s why their homes keep breaking up.” While that may be the reason in SOME cases, let’s also address the fact that most men assume by dint of being men they are entitled to respect. Let’s address the ubiquity of “little princes” running around expecting the “yes my lords” their fathers received for 25% of the work their fathers put in. Let’s address the fact that economy & society has changed. Let’s address the fact that patriarchy hasn’t exactly bred the imaginary fruits everyone keeps talking about. Lets address this mass nostalgia we all have for a time when “women knew their place”. Respect is EARNED. And trust me if men were upholding their part of Ephesians 5 you all love to quote no woman worth her onions won’t submit. Be the Ephesians 5 man & I will be the Proverbs 31 woman Biko.

    • Truth Teller

      March 12, 2015 at 12:31 pm

      Madam fifi, where on earth is it a woman’s role to do her husband’s laundry???

    • mz_daniels

      March 12, 2015 at 1:56 pm

      You are entitled to your opinion oh but sis in your church mind ‘no be boss dey pay bills?

    • Nahum

      March 11, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      I love you for this comment

  4. Truth Teller

    March 11, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    *object of mockery

  5. Efee

    March 12, 2015 at 3:57 am

    @Ndidiamaka…chukwu gozie gi

  6. Truth Teller

    March 12, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    @Ndidiamaka, abeg, take e-hug and e-peck,
    God bless you!

    @fifi read what you wrote again, just read it.

    It’s because of people like you that men will continue to maltreat women. Women are to be submissive, yes! but do you also know that MEN ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEY LOVE THEIR OWN BODIES??? Balance the two and see where the bulk of responsibility lies. women are not dummies, yes, whatever a man can do, God has given the ability to a woman to do also, that’s why some females do better than males in various scopes of life. Feminism doesn’t mean a woman can’t be submissive. Being stubborn , unsubmissible e.t.c has nothing to do with being a feminist or being sophisticated or educated,it’s a choice. After all we have very local village women that are anything but submissive.

    In conclusion, read what a certain pastor says.
    “What does submission in marriage mean?

    The model for husband and wife relationships is found in Ephesians 5:25. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and be willing to lay down their lives for them. So, it is a self-sacrificial love, and the husband should put the wife first and look out for her and protect her. In Ephesians 5:22, it says that wives are to be in submission to their husband, that does not mean that she is a doormat; it means that a woman is submitting to a man who is fulfilling his God-given role.

    • Ndidiamaka

      March 16, 2015 at 5:54 am

      @TruthTeller & @Efee, nwanyi oma, daalu shi unu! Enu? I just get so frustrated sometimes and I normally don’t write these long epistles. But it’s like our society is just so toxic to women (let’s not even get into its toxicity to the average Nigerian. We go tire) We are already in a society where hustling is your job from sun up to sundown. You are expected as a woman to be all things to everybody. Pure. Chaste. Beautiful. Hardworking 24/7 etc and once you pass the magical age of 22 everybody – male and female, young and old – start feeling it’s their job along with all the other pressures you are facing to remind you that you are not married. When are going to get married? Where is the guy? Don’t you want children? You are getting old o! Believe me! I KNOW!!! I’m the one living in my flat by myself trying to follow my religion as well and not fall into sexual immorality because of desperation! Like can a woman catch a break?! It’s crazy! The ones that will want to start treating you like a social leper because man pikin no carry ring nko? It’s allowed! You carry black eye every other weekend, people have seen your husband gallivanting but I should just marry because I’m suddenly ancient at 30. Ok. I’m getting you. My fellow Naija sisters at home and in the Diaspora going thru this mess, God dey. We go make am at the end of the day.

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