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From Feeling Ugly to “I Accept Me” – Michelle Dede tells All

BellaNaija.com

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Michelle Dede Beauty CampaignOne of the great things about social media is that beneath the glitz and glam, it often gives us the opportunity to a sincere glimpse into the lives of our favourite celebrities.

TV Host/Actress Michelle Dede is currently rocking the screen on “Desperate Housewives Africa” and is also the brand ambassador for Emmaus Beauty. Many see Michelle all glammed up on the red carpet but now she is sharing the other side of the coin.

On her Instagram page, Michelle talks about growing up with many insecurities and how she finally learned to love and accept “HER”.

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Yes it’s that time again.. #MichelleDedesMondayMotivation but in 2 posts this time. Gimme a break it’s long cause I talk for a living ? #TVHost means talk a lot!

Part 1: A lot of us struggle with, or have struggled with insecurities. Those of you who are super confident, with no insecurities Damn..You are lucky! I hail ?
Many of us look in the mirror & I don’t mean when some fab makeup artists like @shomya_lag @dorannebeauty or @oluchionuigbo beat your face to the point that you look at yourself, feel like Beyonce & say ” #Slaaaayed I”m hotter than Sasha Fierce with #nofilter!”

Many of us think, I’m ugly, I’m dark, I’m white I need a tan, my lips are big, small, I need a nose job, I wish I had smaller eyes, bigger eyes, delicate features, long hair, high cheek bones, straight hair, curly hair, I wish I was thinner, more toned, tall, had a booty like Jlo, was sexy, feminine, beautiful, I wish, I Wish, I WISH blah blah blah!

It’s normal to feel insecure about your looks, but how about trying to accept the way you look?. Now I don’t know everything, but I know what it’s like to dislike what you see in the mirror.

I hated my eyes, forehead, lips (yes I was told my lips were thin for a black girl while in school in Australia), disliked my height & more. High school in Ethiopia was even harder as

A. 90% of the women looked like God made them on Sunday morning while he rested after eating his favourite meal, yet the rest of us looked like he made us during the week as he focused on creating the sky, goats & other animals.

B. I was an athlete & did everything from swimming, 100metres track, relay, basketball, hurdles, long jump, javelin etc, so I was tall for my age, big & muscular.

In hindsight I was in the best shape of my life, but other kids make you feel terrible so I thought I was manly & ugly. Hard to tell from looking at me now but I was obsessed with sports & my low self-esteem back then coupled with people’s comments meant I went into University & sports stopped, cause I wanted to focus on looking slender (read thin) not fit!

Part 2: As a fashion student while in University in London being bombarded with images of what is beautiful in mags like Vogue (my bible at the time), I felt even more insecure.

Being athletic wasn’t it, so I dieted like crazy, eating an apple would mean weighing myself (Yes ridiculous I know). I learnt all I could about make-up, the Mac counter in Selfridges was my haven. I learnt to cover & hide everything I disliked on my face in the hopes of appearing beautiful to the opposite sex.

When I moved to Lagos I learnt to love how I looked.

The big eyes or “eyeballs” as people say here is what I started to highlight, I wore my hair off my face in ponytails more often, further displaying the fivehead God gave me (yes I said 5 head.. cause what I have can’t be described as a forehead o! ). The more I felt comfortable about what I considered flaws in the past the more others suddenly saw those flaws as beautiful. I still have my insecurities & often look in the mirror & think “Nah mate” but more & more I do think “Yaaaas honaaaay you look hot & those eyes are speaking in several languages”.

So you may not always like what you see in the mirror but it’s important to look at yourself often & say “I Accept Me!”. Don’t focus on your dislikes, just ignore them, say it over & over for a minute or 3, everyday!.. Yeah yeah I know it might sound silly at first or you might feel embarrassed when you do it, but it won’t hurt to try.

I know it’s not easy, but what have you got to lose by trying.

16 Comments

  1. anonymous

    August 25, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    Let’s look at accepting me from a different perspective. What about accepting your needs, wants and desires.

    I love fashion, sex and being taken care of by a man. No I’m not a runs girl but I won’t date a guy who don’t spoil me. At the same time, I hv huge ambitions that I’m working towards.

    If I like a guy and he seems to cancel a date, I get paranoid. And sometimes, I call him and act all crazy.

    I look at women like Dabota and Kim Kardashian and while I don’t wanna be like them, I won’t mind having that thing that makes any want want to give you the world. So my salary and other income don’t matter
    In the world of independent, strong women, can I accept the vulnerable parts of myself? Can I

    • iyke

      August 25, 2015 at 2:32 pm

      @annonymous
      That vulnerable part of YOU that you want to throw away, I WANT IT!

    • Damilola's

      August 25, 2015 at 6:56 pm

      Not every woman has the “standard beauty”. Women considered beautiful have their own insecurities. I consider, myself beautiful but I’m also aware there are several women out there who will be considered better looking than me.

      If someone doesn’t see you as beautiful or pretty, so what? I see people getting angry when nobody calls them “beautiful”. Is it by force. Keep it moving. Halle berry, kim k, dabota Lawson, Etc beauty is fleeting. Men idolize them, but that’s it. It doesn’t stop them from cheating or treating them bad.

  2. *gbemi*

    August 25, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    Love Love Tari Gambadia!

  3. Ngozi

    August 25, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    Well said. You’re beautiful

  4. NOBLE(LAGOSCONVO.COM)

    August 25, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    Nne, idi uto. Any other story is not for you.

  5. nene

    August 25, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    one good thing about growing older is accepting yourself and being more confident. Michelle probably felt better in Nigeria because most people here look like her and of course she’s an IJGB with phonetics so people give her the time of the day. I actually like her eyes, they are her best features, even if they look a bit crazy sometimes.

  6. nene

    August 25, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    on another rote, ethiopian women are very beautiful.

  7. Xoxo

    August 25, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Thank you, Michelle. Someone “whatsapped” me last night after I changed my dp to say I didn’t want to gain even a pound of flesh I felt bad instantly.. But then I thought to myself that this person seem to have this “perfect” image of me. And if I was bigger ,I would be more desirable to him. I immediately dismissed the anger because it was just a waste of my emotion. God didn’t create me to please anybody. With my long body, I am just perfect. There are no “ifs” or “maybes”.

  8. Shiela

    August 25, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    Why the F. is it called Desperate Housewifes of Africa when its a 100% nigerian cast. Nigerians are so full of themselves.

    So Now all of a sudden Nigeria represents the WHOLE of africa (including SA, Kenya, Ghana etc) .

    SO conceited and full of self. Evident in everything , from award shows to all else. Thats like americans calling the baseball finals WORLD SERIES, Which World? so retarded

    You better change the title to what it should be

    • Gbemi

      August 25, 2015 at 4:00 pm

      Eh yah … So sorry about the pain the Title is causing you .. Maybe you need to stop watching (that is even you are watching ) but has the title changed anything in Africa or maybe I need to check the map to see that Nigeria has now taken over the whole African space … My dear pls look for something better to be bitter about ..if you really need the bitterness

    • Altini

      August 25, 2015 at 4:38 pm

      Sheila dear, take it easy. Can only make conjectures as to how hurt you feel.
      Still, find a Cause of Action and file a suit; circulate an online petition; go on hunger strike or better, hug a transformer. All of this anger is not for us to care about. Not here on Bella Naija.

    • Deedara

      August 25, 2015 at 4:48 pm

      The cast is not 100% Nigerian o… do your research. And take a few deep breaths while you’re at it… there, that’s better.

    • Omolola

      August 25, 2015 at 5:11 pm

      Pele sister No Vex you hear?! Point of correction its not a 100% Nigerian cast,maybe 97%. :-). There is a reason for that though . Did you by any chance go for the audition?!

  9. MOM

    August 25, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    NNE I AM YOUR FAN I LOVE YOU. YOUR EYES ARE GORGEOUS THEY CAN TALK AND THATS Y I LOVE THEM. U R BEAUTIFUL

  10. loveday

    August 25, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    Shiela biko we re oche azu…get ur facts right before u rant especially in d public of igwemmadu

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