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BellaNaija’s “Aunty Bella” mentioned in The Economist + An Ex-Aunty Bella Miss Tells All

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The Economist Aunty BellaBellaNaija‘s Aunty Bella was mentioned in The Economist recently. We mentioned this on social media and thought to share on here as well.
The article was titled

“Agony aunts through the ages
Whatever should I do?
To understand how societies evolve,read the problem pages

It featured in the Christmas Special edition of The Economist.

You can read the article HERE

In honour of this special occasion, we reached out to an old school Aunty Bella “Miss”.
Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 2.52.23 PM
When
I submitted my story to BellaNaija when it was a blog way back in 2007.

Why
I sent in my story because I really didn’t want to discuss the matter with my friends or family and I just wanted to be anonymous and get independent advice.

What was wrong
I was confused about making a career decision vs. maintaining a relationship. I had amazing career opportunities in City A and a boyfriend waiting for me in a very distant City B. I knew if I moved to City B, he would propose and our lives would be based there.
You can read the full story here on the old blog or here on BN.

Did Anyone Guess it was You?
From what I can recollect – no.

Did You Get Good Advice?
ABSOLUTELY!
One really stuck out.

Kpakpando said…

Miss Rock,

I truly hope you haven’t fallen for the hype that good men don’t exist, so the first one that it kinda works with, is do or die! Good men exist, so don’t be moving up and down in the name of a so called drama free man.

If the man wants a clear future WITH YOU he’ll find a way to make it work. I don’t know if its wise to uproot yourself and your life to go to somewhere you absolutely HATE for someone you haven’t even mentioned that you love. Abi is your existence in life solely for his benefit? The dude hasn’t even talked about marriage, but he wants you to give up so much to be doing girlfriend/boyfriend, E ga sikwa… you berra just stay where you are, and only consider moving if the stakes are increased.

This really struck me because I was quite young and sincerely I had heard all these stories about one “spinster” or the other who had dismissed so many “good guys” and was single forever. Seems so silly but you know how the young mind works. Her comment made me realize that even though he was an amazing guy, I had to make the right decision for myself at that point.

So, what happened
I wouldn’t advocate that everyone makes the same decision I did but it was the best for me.
Yes, we broke up. It was painful at the time but it was totally the right decision. The job went well and I was really happy.
Today, my career is still on track and personally, I am happily married. Though we do not keep in touch, he is also doing well and is married as well.

Wishing for happy next steps for all our Aunty Bella – Miss, Mr and Mrs.

33 Comments

  1. .....

    February 8, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    Is it just me or does Bellanaija have the most human/real/sensible commentators in the social blogging space ever….

    Shalla to you all

    • Alpha Male

      February 8, 2016 at 4:05 pm

      I share your sentiment, I stared reading blogs through LIB, I discovered Bella in 2009, cannot remember the last last time I was on LIB, the commentators disgust me and often sound shallow, no disrespect, I love LIB, but Bella does it for me

    • Corolla

      February 8, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      LIB commenters disgust me too. You can tell they are an are ignorant and close-minded bunch. Some of them have started seeping into BN though.

    • Nahum

      February 8, 2016 at 7:03 pm

      We are trying to keep them away from BN but sometimes they show up and start some ruckus

    • ATL's finest

      February 8, 2016 at 10:56 pm

      Lmao! I thought I was the only one who can’t stand LIB’s commentators. Years ago I discovered LIB & till this day, I can tell U how many times I have visited that blog. The commentators are very ratchet with their words ( no offense) ghetto is an understatement.. Unlike BN, yes folks can get out of hand with their comments including me sometimes yet, they keep it real, some commentators just crack me up son bad & I just wonder what the look/sound like in person, sometimes U get use to certain commentators & just be glued to them. BN is like FAM blog ( they fuss, curse, fight, laugh, bad mouth, spil a lot of JUICE & drop hints about folks ??in d end, they Make -up & keep it moving).

      On that NOTE, much love to ALL my BN bros/Sisters all over the world who made BN fun for me when having a hectic, long never ending day.

    • LEM

      February 8, 2016 at 4:22 pm

      Brother or Sister,

      Its not just you. Bella naija does have the most SENSIBLE commentators ever especially in naija…

    • Engoz

      February 8, 2016 at 5:34 pm

      I thought it was only me, lol. I just read LIB headlines and move on. LIB was not as bad in the beginning. This same observation happened to most Nigerian social blogging sites. When most of these blogs started, accessibility to the internet was low, thereby limiting the amount of riffraffs from Nigeria on the internet. Bella has been able to maintain some sanity although they are beginning to allow some riff raffs to permeate the ‘Bellasphere.’ So now it appears that LIB serves a certain demographic and Bellanaija serves a particular demographic. That is why it is important that Bella maintains the class for people like me. She feeds my demographic. My partner who doesn’t read either blogs until I send him links could see the distinction between the two, and he pointed out the difference on how a gossip story is being told on either websites. Bella would phrase it as a question, or ask for our opinions. LIB on the other hand lacks the politeness of speech in her delivery. But as I said, there are two different demographics that are being served here and we will all align to whichever one we are endeared to. Bellanaija it is for me, eventhough I can’t stand their screen background. I don’t know who’s idea was it to change the original template. Then I could see all the posts on my phone, now I have to scroll and scroll and scroll.

    • emma

      February 8, 2016 at 8:55 pm

      Bella Naija has the most “sensible” comments because 1. they sensor their comment section 2. people who post non reasonable comments don’t want to waste their time commenting when their comment won’t be posted. 3. Bellanaija doesn’t have any incentives for their visitors, and naija people too like awoof, and that’s a fact, they’ll do anything for money. I’ve been following LIB since 2009, back then there were sensible comments. LIB’s comments increased when she started doing those giveaways now people just comment for the sake of commenting so that they’ll get something when its giveaway time. Even SDK, her blog used to have 30 comments on average per post, now she gets over 100 because of this.

    • may

      February 9, 2016 at 7:43 am

      Same here,I love commentators on this blog. No nasty comments, always encouraging words.

    • Ready

      February 9, 2016 at 5:16 pm

      Shalla, baby!

      I used to be a really regular commenter when I was in grad school and na soso oyinbo surround me. BN gave me a sense of home, and commenters like ‘The Amaka’ and co were so on point. I decided to fall back with the influx of some really obnoxious people (can’t avoid that) and BN’s attempt to gain more readers. Can’t knock the hustle…but through it all, I find that the majority of commenters on this blog are still the most sane people in the Nigerian e-streets. Except on certain posts sha….then we just lose all manner of couth and chill.

  2. Adaeze Writes

    February 8, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    Awww…it’s really good to know that Aunty Bella has been very helpful through the years. I enjoyed reading the story of the ex-aunty Bella. It was so enlightening.

    For exciting tales on blogsphere, visit adaezewrites.com

  3. Sonia Paloma

    February 8, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    Well done Bella!
    Whenever I am free, this is the only Nigerian Blog I comment on because most of the commenters sound matured/ experienced/educated. I always read comments in topics that are of interest to me
    I tried to read comments on LIB, Mbok after the first attempt I nor try am again LOL
    SDK commenters are okay depending on the subject of discussion

    • LEM

      February 8, 2016 at 4:25 pm

      @Sonia, you summarized it perfectly.

  4. Noms

    February 8, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    @……,its not just you. BN has the most sensible and real commentators in the social blogging space. I don’t bother reading comments on other sites because most of them are just….fill in the gap.
    BN, well done for the job you do. It there was an award for referrals/committment i’m sure I would have won it. lol
    Following and referring BN since my Nokia N73 music edition daysss(2008)
    Counting 1,2,3,4,5,……10 then send. No, I am not sending my message too fast.lol

  5. teezy lake

    February 8, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    You just got to love BN’s commentators. Educated, experienced, funny, witty and so on. You guys rock. They fight for giveaways on the other side

  6. Aleesha

    February 8, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    True that. I enjoy the comments on bellanaija as much, sometimes even more than the article itself. It is always enlightening to see how different people view an issue. Another site that does is for me as far as commenters go, is the naked convos.

  7. Oh yes

    February 8, 2016 at 6:12 pm

    BellaNigerians deliver sensible yet entertaining comments all the time, and i have learnt a lot from the comments session. LIB is still my fave blog because of the way the news always rolls in – bringing in more news – especially the kinds Bella wouldn’t put up. Lets just say Bella is classy, and LIB is ratchet, hehehe, and me LIKE both classy and ratchet lol..
    I cannot stand LIB commenters though, but i have ‘almost die inside’ BN comments.

  8. terrany

    February 8, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Evevrybody serve their audience. Bellla for the elites and educated fellows.. Lib jobless youth looking for free stuff. SDK for jobless and stay at home mummy like aishatu on Facebook.

  9. terrany

    February 8, 2016 at 6:27 pm

    I visit all 3 but stop visiting SDK 2 years ago can’t cope with the emotional trauma on there.

    • vb

      February 8, 2016 at 7:20 pm

      me too… lmao

  10. lmaoooo

    February 8, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    be hyping yourselves

    • Engoz

      February 8, 2016 at 7:28 pm

      Yes about time we hyped bellanaija for setting the pace for good content and delivery.

    • lmaoooo

      February 9, 2016 at 1:52 am

      is it now?

  11. vb

    February 8, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    until another blog takes over.. until then bella congratulations

  12. Reekaddict till infinity

    February 8, 2016 at 7:34 pm

    I visit lib, sdk, bella naija n other blogs bcos they all post what I want INFORMATION.

  13. halima

    February 8, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    Who doesn’t know Bella Naija is dope?

  14. Nkem

    February 8, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    I love Bellanaija. Once in a blue moon, I read the headlines on other blogs, and skim through the articles. I CANNOT stand the comments, so I don’t bother. I actually save my Bella articles for offline reading when I don’t have the time to read.

    Bellanaija rocks jor!! 😀

  15. slice

    February 8, 2016 at 10:59 pm

    II do like bn but knowing how muchthey censor comments has reduced their credibility as a news source. They esp censor when their management is criticized. Its nt a good look. When I read comments on here regarding a controversial issue, I wonder whose voice I’m nt hearing

  16. Noname

    February 8, 2016 at 11:21 pm

    You attract your type. Forget about the money some other bloggers are making they are all ignorant. Most of them can’t even spell. If only money could buy knowledge and learning.

  17. Tee

    February 9, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    This is what I say everytime.. The most mature commenters are here on BN.. It’s totally q waste of time to go to other blogs say, LIB or Nairaland for advice.. You would be left wishing you hadn’t asked..
    Haven tasted BN, it’s impossible to go back to those other blogs.

  18. Tee

    February 9, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    Yeso… BN I’m not posting my comments too quickly….. Biko don’t hinder the creative urges…
    Eshe.

  19. Spanish Guitar

    February 10, 2016 at 7:08 am

    Ever since I discovered Bella Naija, there’s been no going back for me. Bella is all I need for information. whatever isn’t on Bella isn’t that important to me. Someone tried to get me to try LIB and Stella late last year but I just couldn’t stand the quality(not) of their comments. I believe what ever new thing I decide to try should be an improvement on current state, they were definitely not so I retraced my steps back to where they belong.
    I am a stickler for correct grammar (at least, I try to be) and BN “commenters” do it for me. I want to thank you all for giving me another world that I can sleep into whenever this one gets too overwhelming. My special thanks go out to Uche Pedro and her lovely team, Mz Socially Awkward (she always writes my mind and heart, I wanna be like her when I grow up.lol.), Jane Public (Mama Saffron), Atl’s finest, Whocares (we don’t have the same political affiliations though), Fashola’s lover and Nwaanyi na aga aga. God bless you all immensely. Amen.

    • Spanish Guitar

      February 10, 2016 at 7:10 am

      *improvement on my current state.* *Another world that I can slip into.*

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