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The Husband of the Breadseller Versus The Husband of the Model, The Olajumoke Story! by Praise Fowowe

BellaNaija.com

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Olajumoke Orisaguna and her husband Sunday at Sujimoto 1Talk show host and motivational speaker Praise Fowowe has added his two cents to the Olajumoke Orisaguna story. As he’s a life coach, he has some advice for Olajumoke’s husband, Sunday Orisaguna.

***

Events of the last few days have left me with mixed emotions. In as much as I am so excited about the change in fortune of Olajumoke, I have also stepped aside to think through the implications of this new found fame.

As a student of life, one thing I have come to become afraid of is instant stardom. This is because from my knowledge of history especially reading through the Bible, the first man to be an instant adult fell by the way in the third chapter of Genesis (as chronicled by the legendary leader Moses).

I am a family life coach and family is everything to me. I sit in counseling sessions daily and I am amazed at the rate at which marriages fail in this part of the world and the factors responsible for these marital failures. I come out on the strength of this to sound the alarm before what we never bargained for happens.

The attention seems to have been so much on Jumoke, the model, and I wonder what the plan is for her husband?

For the records, no story has been told of her marital relationship prior to her stardom. The Yoruba speaking Olajumoke who was intellectually compatible with her husband left the house that fateful day. But, there is a new Jumoke now, one who has become a cynosure and the latest celeb in the nation.
What role would this play in her family life?

May I state here that all the corporate giants that have suddenly rolled out their drums to beat a new dance for Jumoke, the beautiful bride, should also extend the same gestures to her husband so we do not end up with a celeb whose marriage may struggle in days to come.

So here are my suggestions:

  • The husband must be made to go through the same level of training Jumoke is exposed to. There is no point giving this man a modern wife when he may remain an ancient man. If Jumoke, the celebrity, is going to be an English speaking one, her husband must also become one.
  • Attach the husband to a Family Life Coach or a Psychologist who can work with him to birth a mentality which matches the new status of his wife. I have seen educated men struggle with a wife who is a corporate success and can only imagine what would happen in a case as this.
  • Carefully manage the relationship between Jumoke, her husband and their extended family. This is Africa and we all know the implications.
  • Keep Jumoke close to TY Bello or Tara Fela-Durotoye; these are two women who have been able to match corporate success with domestic success. A scandal on our beautiful bride is a news we would not want to hear as all sorts of juicy offers will come her way. It takes a values driven person to resist some of the offers which may come from some quarters that I shall not mention here. Jumoke needs to be this values driven person; she needs to be groomed to be this person.
  • Manage and pace this lady so that different platforms who may want to use her story to inspire others do not take advantage of her. If possible, shoot a one-time video which can be played for their audience as against subjecting the girl to a road show that may wear her out.
  • Care should be taken to ensure Jumoke’s innocent friends remain her friends because the friends she may make now may not be true friends. Her fellow breadsellers should be upgraded if possible till she develops a new mindset that can match her new status

I am so happy for our newest model. We must tread with caution withal so that this success story can stand the test of time and give birth to more success.

72 Comments

  1. Thatgidigirl

    February 19, 2016 at 11:59 am

    Nigerians ??leave??olajumoke??alone!!! Dollar??is??400??to??the??naira.

    • Lilo

      February 19, 2016 at 12:17 pm

      I agree Jare. Leave jumoke alone.

    • ForTheRightsOfMen

      February 19, 2016 at 12:17 pm

      And there is a growing concern amongst many investors that if FG and the CBN dont address the dollar issue it might get to N1,000 to $1 by December. That is not beyond the realms of possibility given the freefall and the way things are going. That aside, I agree with the write, please dont ignore Jumoke’s husband – not that I think that he has anyway.

    • cash-finder

      February 20, 2016 at 11:17 pm

      On POINT

  2. Levinne Armstrong

    February 19, 2016 at 12:04 pm

    This is real talk right here!

  3. Green

    February 19, 2016 at 12:04 pm

    Thank you so much for bringing this point out. Every form of grooming given to Jumoke should also be extended to the husband. We truly don’t want a case whereby the husband will start feeling ‘not enough’ for the wife.

    • been there

      February 19, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      it is optional if these corporate giants want to help her husband.

      why are you all complaining because the woman is in the news and not the man? please make i hear word. it is all these that will make the man start questioning what is not.
      so it is sacrilege as he is carrying his child and taking care of the kids? you Nigerians should ask your Caucasian male counterparts, they are hands-on in the home and are only better for it. and they dont think they are doing their wives a favour by taking care of their own children.

      hopefully soon, they can afford a nanny so her hubby can go back to work. or better still praise fowewe who is so concerned, should pay for childcare, maybe a creche, so you can stop being offended by a father taking care of his kids. mscheew!

      i’m married with a child and only myself and hubby knows how much weight i pull in d home both financially or otherwise. it is OUR business alone. do i wish he takes more charge in childcare?YES. that way i can do some extra self-improvement i need at the moment for that next phase of my career. most Nigerian women are just super women,

    • SugaMama

      February 19, 2016 at 5:33 pm

      Did you read the article and understand the point the writer was making? Where did he comment about the child taking care of the kids or that being a problem?
      He is focused on Jumoke moving forward and her husband not being able to keep up and how that could put a strain on the marriage. So she is going to learn to speak English, does he get to learn to, so they can speak English to each other? Or will she alone learn the English and he won’t be as good as an English speaker as she is thereby creating a gap?
      You might want to read it again. I think he made some good points, none of them being about the man staying home to care for the kid.

    • Nikki Bella

      February 19, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      You are missing the point….this is not a story of hubby taken care on the care of the children. Its about given the same/similar grooming to the hubby in order to prevent conflict later on in the marriage. Please read the story again.

    • shush

      February 20, 2016 at 3:19 pm

      Shut up my friend!

      All they are saying is both have to be upgraded in order to be able to relate and maintain a peaceful family they have always had.

      You married your husband cos you were compatible/on the same level of reasoning (so to say). Its like waking up tomorrow and realizing u are a masters holder and your hubby is a school sat holder. Imagine what is going to happen in all aspects

      Who forced you to marry your husband? Didn’t you know his state b4 agreeing to get married to him?

      All your blab now centers on “the weight you pull financially”.

      If the men refuse to marry you now due to economic situation, you ll be sending a message to aunty Bella, crying all night, from one vigil to the other, from one pastor to herbalist to imam’s house.

      Common GTFOH

    • Teris

      February 21, 2016 at 1:06 am

      I think not. I rather think that the full ramifications of next few steps she takes shud be spelt out to her, n then as a unit, they shud prepare for the future they desire or hope for. If they solicit for help, fine. But not that the companies owe the husband a grooming, no.

      I do agree tho that given her “innocence”, her image, her brand, her story shud be guided in her best interest. But, it is business at the end of the day.

    • True Talkk

      February 22, 2016 at 8:25 am

      Thanks Green, all I have in mind you have voiced out. Those who changed her life should please help her keep her marriage. Thanks also to the writer of this piece.

  4. suzzy

    February 19, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Well said

  5. zarah baby loke loke

    February 19, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    My sentiments exactly, this comes in recommended

  6. Rugena

    February 19, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    Miss Bella Naija…..I have been following your blog daily but have never commented here before.
    It is pertaining to this write up. This is very correct. By the specail grace of God am a marriage /relationship counsellor. The man has to be carried along so they both grow on same level thereby maintaining their marriage/ relationship life which is very vital. Thank you.

  7. Proverbs31Woman

    February 19, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    My exact thoughts! God is amazing and she is reaping her innheritance on earth. However, her husband should be carried along, can someone provide homeboy with a job opportunity? can he get training of some sort? marraige counseling perhaps? seed grant money to start a profitable business? His story could be part of all this inspiration too.

  8. Moyo

    February 19, 2016 at 12:33 pm

    if it was the man who photobombed a photoshoot, would people be talking about his wife. She will be asked to just go and along with the flow, no one will ask her to get counselling or training. the man will just shove her aside or marry someone else who will easily adjust to his status. It is only a few men who will think of how his new status will affect his wife. Please allow Olajumoke to enjoy her new status, when she has settled down, she can now think ways to help her husband out of her resources, the key word here is “help” not take over his life. How do we even know that they are legally married, it is possible that she just has children for him and there has not been any formal introduction/engagement/wedding. If he could have allowed her to go to Lagos from Osun state to sell bread, I doubt if the family ties are that strong. Just my opinion

    • sexy diva

      February 19, 2016 at 9:44 pm

      thank you…if it was the man will they remeber jumoke? all these africans with their funny mentality……u want to prevent future problems in the marriage cos the wife is now the one in the lime light……of course the guy had to run back from where he was to join her now she is in the news….why did he allow only his wife to stay in lagos or come to lagos to hustle? if this did not happen will he have agreed to leave whatever he was doing to join her? i pray he wont just be there feeding off her new found fame cos i know the next thing now is to start complaining of her not respecting him bla bla bla

    • Tokunbo

      February 20, 2016 at 6:41 pm

      This isnt a women vs men thing. Even if it was the other way round, the woman will need to be carried along. Whats the point if one person is developing/growing and the other person stays the same. It kills relationships all the time. It doesnt have to be the companies doing the “carrying”. It could be Jumoke herself carrying him along.
      Sometimes I dont think we take time to read articles. We just have a preconceived notion from d first line and are quick to write it down. This isnt a men vs women article. Why do we always think everything is about fighting for equal rights.. I am a woman by the way

    • shush

      February 20, 2016 at 4:04 pm

      I Have always known there are plenty kids on BN. Your level of reasoning depicts that of a single lady who does not know any other thing than herself” alone.

      See Krasvita or AKaravita saying she could marry someone else and the man shoukd go find another breadseller to marry.

      Howany of you are readybto be the bread winner of the family and wil do that withoit any problem?

      From creation and 19gbogboro,men have been taking care of their family, wives , children and in laws without any issue. Let the woman just pay one school fees or house rent (due to cash flow issues of the husband) The whole world must know that she did.

      Let her just be the one to buy Xmas clothes for the kids for once(everyone must know she did, in which all these years the husband has been doing, no one heard Nada.

      What explains the fact that you all want a rich guy to marry? Because you are not ready to be the breadwinner. Common date, you are not ready to pay the bills or even split the bills.

      Thus hapenedbjust yesterday. A guy realized this girl claims she cares but so stingy with her own resources. She said she was bored and asked the guy to let them go to the movies. The guy wanted to test her and asked her to pay for theirbtcket just 1500 o. Can you believe she withdrew 2k and sad she doesn’t have money. Audbfpr hers one and entered. This is a guy that could buy her just lunch of 5k at a sitting.

      Seen many girls cancel dates they have so longed fr just cause the guy tested them by asking f they would pay the bills. Have heard many say u can’t spend on a guy. Married wowen even keep their salaries from ther husband in d eventual of any pressing need.

      You all knw yourselves. This is the ideolpgy behind the thought that me don’t want their women t be successful MTR than yhem

    • Guest

      February 25, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      Thank you. This misognostic guy masquerading as life coach needs to have several seats.
      Olajumoke didn’t get famous cos she’s a random poor girl that people took pity on. She has a talent! A God given one. Her case is a case of talent meeting opportunity. Yes it’s a rags to riches tale but not just a charity case.
      Any good and decent spouse will be happy for their partner’s good fortune and may I just say you can’t teach decency or good character. It’s rude and insulting to think or suggest that because the man can not speak English he’s of low intellect and that by teaching him English and exposing him to high taste ie upgrading him will somewhat confer him with decency. How very patronising. This Fowowe guy should be ashamed for this write up. And Moyo is right he wouldn’t be saying this if the positions were reversed.
      Yes a smart spouse should try to match the level of their partner. But that should be a decision made by the couple. The guy could decide to seek advice on dealing with his wife’s instant fame but again that should a choice made by the guy or couple. Suggesting that the guy is entitled to the same level of good fortune just because he is the partner is idiotic and suggest the Fowowe guy is the one that’s actually in need of schooling. Schooling on business. The corporate bodies that are offering all sorts to Olajumoke are not doing so just out of the goodness of their heart. They are doing so to attach themselves to the goodwill & fame that Olajumoke has at the moment. It’s a biz decision.

  9. DD

    February 19, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    a hundred likes

  10. Adebola

    February 19, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    If you all have been following the Olajumoke story ,a real estates owner has also volunteered to train Olajumoke ‘s husband .Pls pray for them and wish them all the best .

  11. Adesuwa

    February 19, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    My thoughts exactly.. Some men can’t handle their wives success. In some cases envy and inferiority complex may set in.

  12. prince

    February 19, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    He is so right. Fame change people. The husband should be ready for what is to come psychologically. I wish them God’s continued grace and favour

  13. semesee

    February 19, 2016 at 12:56 pm

    I can NEVER get tired of good news, Olajumoke’s story will forever warm my heart. For those who are fed up of her story then be permitted to ‘move on’. For those who are saying ” is she the only poor person in Nigeria?” No she is not…… so find your own “Olajumoke and sow something good into their lives, be it financial, spiritual, academic…. go ahead and help someone today! The is a saying that goes “Each one reach one”.
    We should never be tired in doing good!

  14. chikala

    February 19, 2016 at 12:58 pm

    The write up is correct, they need to be on the ‘same level’ for the marriage to thrive on. Just wondering though, if the tables were turned and Jumoke’s husband is the one being ‘worshipped’ like this, will pple still ask that Jumoke be trained and be at the same level with the husband?? Like I said, just wondering…

  15. Babym

    February 19, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    Very very well said. And I completely agree. However just food for thought, if it was the Husband that hit jackpot, would we have advocated that the wife be carried along?? ?

    • Paul

      February 19, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Every body wanting to make decisions for Jumoke. Oh!

  16. Joe

    February 19, 2016 at 1:03 pm

    This is very correct please those who are responsible for her well being now should take note and may GOD continue to bless her

  17. femme

    February 19, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    Never get the same response when a man suddenly finds wealth. No one says, oh the wife should be given a job, or seed money to start a business. Why should a different standard be applied to the husband? If he needs financial help, nothing stops him from asking his wife for money. Or what? Nigerian men are above that? Egos too fragile?

  18. ehi

    February 19, 2016 at 1:13 pm

    This is so apt….i love this write up.. it is so true and concise. the husband has to be empowered too if not there will be a rift in the home…not much to add.. Praise has said it all..I hope all the destiny helpers take note..eg..Poise Nigeria teach Jumoke’s husband English as you are teaching her. Thank you again for this apt and timely writeup Praise.

  19. Krasavitsa

    February 19, 2016 at 1:14 pm

    I really don’t understand this “carry her husband along” talk. Were they both discovered? Nigerian men need to learn how to handle their wife’s success. If it were the other way round, I’m pretty sure, there wouldn’t be an entire article about it. Abi y’all want TY Bello to make him a model? He follows her to sign contracts. I’ve seen him in almost all her pics except the professional ones. So what else do you guys want? If he can’t handle her success, he should move forward and find another bread seller abeg. About the “innocent friends”, what makes the author think they’re entirely happy about her present status? It’s not anyone’s duty to help “manage” her friends. She an illiterate not an imbecile. Very soon, someone will say they should carry her siblings and entire village along. It’s HER blessing, her hubby should calmly share in it. Nigerian women stay making the men feel like demi-gods.

    • Natu

      February 19, 2016 at 2:03 pm

      @krasasavista I love your comment!! It always good to see some critical thinkers on this site.

    • Celeste

      February 19, 2016 at 4:15 pm

      Lol @ move forward and find another bread seller…..so on point dear. Please oO all these unsolicited advisers should allow Olajumoke and her family enjoy their success in peace

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      February 19, 2016 at 5:52 pm

      I fear that I’m starting to understand the indirect message behind all the clamour about carrying her husband along. Simply put:-

      1. A large number of Nigerian men are scared of a woman’s success and “what it’ll do to her head”.

      2. Following directly from the first, a woman is expected to curb her ambition so that it continues to flutter just beneath her man’s own, no matter how high she can climb.

      Let me leave it there and not even venture into the self-evident hypocrisy of it all. Meanwhile, is the dollar really N400?? Hot damn… that’s crazy.

    • Nahum

      February 20, 2016 at 1:14 pm

      The writer is even suggesting that her “innocent friends” should be helped. Why do Nigerian men think illiterate women are innocent? Just because they can’t speak English or read and write does not make them innocent. It is nobody’s responsibility to carry the husband along. The man is an adult and if he wants his marriage, he will fight for it. He is not a stupid man na!

  20. Niyoola

    February 19, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    So after everything that has been done for her, they should start babysitting her also.
    This is life abeg.
    I agree with you on pacing Jumoke, brand exposure, having access to TY or Tara etc, but ensuring the husband too gets training is no-no.
    He is an adult, family finances have improved, he should apply sense and improve himself. If he sits there and their marriage is worse for it, then they let it happen to them.
    If they both lack intellect, they will definitely have watched enough yoruba movies to know the possible outcomes. No one owes the husband jacksh*t abeg. Infact, no one owes Jumoke, she is lucky; you can’t impose husband welfare on her benefactors…. because of what na

    Take the current while it serves…. seize the day….. opportunity comes but once….. don’t be a learner……don’t be counting bridges in Lagos while your wife is earning dough…….no look uche face …… and so on a so forth.

  21. ADELOLA

    February 19, 2016 at 1:23 pm

    WELL SAID, HOW I WISH THESE SUDDEN HELPERS AND GROOMERS WILL LOOK INTO THIS AND DO THE NEEDFUL

  22. Titi

    February 19, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    Na wah ohh, if its the other way round. Am sure the guy will be thinking of dishing d babe now. Useless, parasitic, and incompetent nigerian men with very low self esteem. Soon now you will hear story he is dishing d babe because she is now proud. shiooo

  23. Olalekan

    February 19, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    Sir,
    I have been thinking in these lines since I heard her story. I wish someone out there will take this advice and adopt it. If I will also add, her husband should go into modeling even with the kids sef. I will get to the gym and build some muscles, start a clothing line and do most media stuff to match up. If he swings into that, chances are that the will glide and soar together, and even excel much more. All the kids will turn to models and I will also learn photography, videography, animation, designs etc so I will be able to co-manage her and all the deals. There is a lot more her Husband can do.

    • S!

      February 20, 2016 at 12:08 am

      Mod…. Gini? Because of? Please the husband and you should pack well. No be only model.

  24. Bubu

    February 19, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Nice write up but I don’t think anybody owes the husband anything, it is left to them as a couple to sit down and plan with what they have now, they are one and it’s their money not her money. Moreover Sujimoto has plans to train the man and I m sure he will have more opportunities since he has a skill. As a sharp Naija man he shld be thinking of taking advantage of this opportunity and exposure to expand his business not waiting for anyone to give him money or groom him.

    On another note, why have we not seen any detailed documentary on Olajumoke from any Nigerian media, Channels and co what are u doing. Like taking us to her Village, meeting her family and friends etc.

    Pls follow my IG page @fashionminimeng

  25. Emmanuel

    February 19, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    Good talk ooo !! the husband need to brush himself up too and the company that want to help them with a decent accommodation want to help the husband too to secure a decent work,.he will pick up you remember he is a Nigerian we learn fast

  26. rustic

    February 19, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    Very well said! In addition lets take it easy in overwhelming her with all of these juicy deals.whilst its is good and commendable,it has to be done with care and with the right set of people to guide her along the way.Again lets not overdo it, particularly if the motive and intention behind it is for personal gratification and public awareness, particularly talking to the companies now.looks like the whole world is rushing to Jumokes aid.good but there are many other Jumokes out there.spread that love and extend it to others too.lets have many Jumokes stories to smile about everyday.note to organisations and companies and individuals alike.

  27. Fabulicious

    February 19, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    I don’t know why I feel some kind of way about some of the points. I will never stop loving this Olajumoke story but that put them on the same level thing is funny. Women naturally feel the need to compromise. Truth be told,an average man in his heart does not want his wife on the same level with him.There is always an inner desire to be on top even when nobody is disputing that they are the head. Please even if none of these agencies or philantrophists do anything for him,he should just buckle up on his own and not just brush up himself but be a provider and a supporter. Once you make the decision to have a wife and have kids,you owe it to yourself to fulfil your duties as a man.All these put him on the same level things sef as if Jumoke’s own present level was not by hardwork meeting favour.

  28. T

    February 19, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    I did not expect any thing less. Quick question,Mr praise…would you give the same advice if it was the other way round?i don’t think so.You would have advised jumoke to ‘brush up’ or develop herself to meet her husband’s new status.

    What plans do they have for her husband,you ask?nobody is under any obligation to have any plans for him.He has already been given a luxury accommodation and a trust fund set up for his kids(pls,correct me if I got the wrong info)what more can be done for him?if her husband is wise,HE is the one to take advantage of this opportunity. NOBODY will do that for him.Enough of this guilt-tripping successful women because of the insecurities of a FEW men.

    Oga,your wife’s fame has already given you all the advertisement you need. Come up with a good business idea and sell it.Work out your own salvation!

  29. Olayemi

    February 19, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    I’m sure if it was the guy that got discovered, we will never find out if the wife was existing or not. Terrible patriarchal society. It’s about the man or nothing. You can write about something else Mr. Relationship coach.

  30. Fossil

    February 19, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    Its only God that can help and carry u to your next level oo, husband pray 2 God to remember u as he is remembering your wife now so that u can me man enough to carry on as her husband .

  31. tish

    February 19, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    If it is the other way round, if it is the other way round. God forbid if anything happens to her marriage now, it’s these same people that will buy popcorn and drinks then sit here to start making snide remarks over someone else’s misfortune. The ‘experts’ have advised, it is their field, they are likely to understand these things better. Let those that are helping her give it some attention, if they can heed to the advise, great. If they can’t God be with them.

  32. Pamela

    February 19, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    I so agree. Nice one

  33. nikky

    February 19, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    Isnt Stanbic paying the kids school fees? Didnt sujimoto give them a house? How else will they empower this man biko? Cant he go and learn a trade? There is nothing impeding him from stepping up now and becoming a man. He has no bills to pay!!!!!!. Common people.
    Should they come and carry him on their back or take his hand like a blind man? Shouldnt he take some of the money his wife has earnd and go look for what to do with his hands? Tell everyone he is Jumoke’s husband and gain a larger clientele? You pple should stop all these talk. What manner of man will be happy with people hand feeding him after everyting he has been blessed withso far?

    Enough has been done for his family, If people wanna keep blessing them, by all means do so, but dont ask them to start empowering a man who im sure had a business in whatever state he was in. Let him bring the business to lagos and be a man.

  34. Luvnaija

    February 19, 2016 at 6:12 pm

    This our partrichial society self! Reminds of when Toke and Maje were lovey dovey! The guy maximized Toke’s popularity to promote his Eden Life Fitness Centre. This is what Jumoke’s hubby should do not waiting on potential sponsors as if it’s a right. Peace…

  35. well

    February 19, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    “This is Africa and we all know the implications.”…Abeg Africa is a continent with 54 countries o! Just say Nigeria and move on. Which one is Africa? And yes, that was all I took ut of the write up.

    • meserami

      February 21, 2016 at 4:52 am

      And this is the reason why you fail in your exams

  36. Cee

    February 19, 2016 at 6:34 pm

    I think Jumoke should be thought a profession as modelling career doesn’t last forever.

  37. Cee

    February 19, 2016 at 6:35 pm

    Taught

  38. sika

    February 19, 2016 at 6:40 pm

    oh please! Naija men cannot just let a woman be great! its olajumoke who got blessed..if she decides to extend the blessings to her hubby its her choice. dont come here and start talking about how a man should be made equal or how he should match the womans success. if it was a man who got these blessings, no one would care about his wife. SO please allow her shine and he should go with the flow. if he doesnt like it he should fade, AGAIN, men always like to make everything about them..bloody entitled lot. This is about olajumoke. if her hubby cannot stand by her side then he should go. lets hear word hiss.

    • Tokunbo

      February 20, 2016 at 6:47 pm

      If a marriage or relaionship is based on true love and friendship this wont be the case. If she learns English and he doesnt, who will she speak to at home? Its not about men vs women! Why do we women feel so defensive! Its a relationship thing. If one person grows (be it the man or woman), its only right that he/she helps the other person. In fact the other person ought to take the initiative to grow along so a time doesnt come when they are strangers to each other. Ladies not everything is a platform for a gender equality speech

  39. 'Diddie

    February 19, 2016 at 8:13 pm

    I love the last advice

  40. Lili

    February 19, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Out of the many things this man said, I support where he said keep her Close to Ty Bello and Tara. These women seem to still have a head that contains a functioning brain on their shoulders.
    Before we know it now, one corrupt alhaji would come and make his own offer….

  41. Na Wa

    February 20, 2016 at 12:57 am

    I’m tired of Nigerians. If it was the man, no one would even think if grooming the husband. In fact, they will start insulting her that if she doesn’t step up, a polished side chick will take over. They will advice her to change her hair, walk around half naked and have sex on her head. Just like the other day, my husband was telling me I must support him in his ministry and I said no problem, just support me too and he said that is not the issue. I should have married oyinbo jejely because in Nigerian marriage handbook, it is all about how it favors the man. Anyway, I can’t blame him, he has said a female child is not the first born, even if she is. That regardless of what number the male child is, he is the first. And he is educated ooo. Went to KC sef. When babes see him, they always stare non stop.

  42. shush

    February 20, 2016 at 4:19 pm

    I have always known there are plenty kids on BN. Your level of reasoning depicts that of a single lady who does not know any other thing than herself” alone.

    See Krasvita or AKaravita saying she could marry someone else and the man shoukd go find another breadseller to marry.

    How many of you are ready to be the bread winner of the family and will do that wittily any problem?

    From creation and 19gbogboro,men have been taking care of their family, wives , children and in laws without any issue. Let the woman just pay one school fees or house rent (due to cash flow issues of the husband) The whole world must know that she did.

    Let her just be the one to buy Xmas clothes for the kids for once(everyone must know she did, in which all these years the husband has been doing, no one heard Nada.

    What explains the fact that you all want a rich guy to marry? Because you are not ready to be the breadwinner. Common date, you are not ready to pay the bills or even split the bills.

    This happened just yesterday. A guy realized this girl claims she cares but so stingy with her own resources. She said she was bored and asked the guy to let them go to the movies. The guy wanted to test her and asked her to pay for theirbtcket just 1500 o. Can you believe she withdrew 2k and sad she doesn’t have money. Audbfpr hers one and entered. This is a guy that could buy her just lunch of 5k at a sitting.

    Seen many girls cancel dates they have so longed fr just cause the guy tested them by asking f they would pay the bills. Have heard many say u can’t spend on a guy. Married wowen even keep their salaries from ther husband in d eventual of any pressing need.

    You all know yourselves. This is the ideology behind the thought that men don’t want their women to be more successful than them.

    Men have been there and know how these women turn into beasts when they suddenly take over the affairs of the family. what brought about these feminist wagon you all are on now? women folk in US have suddenly become breadwinners and have their money, so they feel men are useless and don’t need them for anything. this is exactly what happens when the woman is in charge in most homes, except for the God fearing ladies

    Cry fire on this last part, it is mine. I will love her, pray for her, wish her well and even want her to be in the highest position in the world, irrespective of that, I must have my own money and she can keep hers to herself while I take care of the family.

    • Md

      February 20, 2016 at 7:52 pm

      Love u r comment..do not mind the so called delusional feminists on BN..I always find it funny when I a dumb black woman claiming feminist, they are the most stupid of them all.

    • meserami

      February 21, 2016 at 4:55 am

      A billion likes for you biko, these ladies know nothing but say trash always like kindergartens trying to define newton’s law

  43. Temi

    February 21, 2016 at 3:54 am

    I dont like the over/under tone of this post. Even though it sounds like it’s a genuine intention to help, the fact that:
    a. its coming from a life coach, advising other people that they need a life coach just appears to be a stunt to validate your profession.
    b. its disrespectful to both parties that you assume that the husband would not be able to deal with the new found fame of his partner!
    c. its disrespectful to assume that the partner is uneducated without identifying facts about the man’s literacy pose.
    d. Reaching out over social media or the internet at large to analyse a (seemingly) baseless assumption could even cause more negative views and comments. Did praise ever think it through about how the couple may feel they read this post? Will it offend them?
    e. If praise really wants to help/advice the couple, you would reach out to the couple in private…
    f1. This post could be a deliberate attempt to target the couple, in a bid to get them thinking or create ideas that could ultimately lead to jealously, hatred and complex.
    f2. Now you go the internet talking! Well done (thumbs down)!!!
    g. This comment would have been better perceived in a positive light, or an attempt to help if it had been published in the event that the couple already had issues.
    h. If there is no smoke, then there is no fire. Dont go around with a jar of petrol and a lighter!

  44. sanusi olalekan

    February 21, 2016 at 8:38 am

    Thank you joo.Well given advise
    In this part of the world,let your move financially ahead of you,you will just become “father of my children” only and not a ” darling or husband” anymore
    I covered lots of illiterate wealthy businesswomen and I see how they treat their first time husband..Thanks to those want to train the husband.They should equally reconcile whats making the Olajumoke and her to live .It may be this same poverty
    God bless all.

  45. Dammie

    February 21, 2016 at 9:01 am

    “From creation and 19gbogboro,men have been taking care of their family, wives , children and in laws without any issue. Let the woman just pay one school fees or house rent (due to cash flow issues of the husband) The whole world must know that she did.”

    Really, you honestly believe that? Men have been paying the bills for ages, and trust, they let the world know every single chance they get. They tell the woman her place is in the kitchen. She makes no decisions in the home because the man reminds her he pays the bills. He comes from work and does not raise a finger to help because he has been working on paying bills all day. The breadwinner who is the woman is the one who keeps it to herself. She cannot say anything to husband for fear that he will feel inferior or depressed. She cant tell her parents because they will ask her why she chose him in the first place. She cannot tell her friends because they will see her as a fool. She goes to work 9-5 and comes home to care for the kids. She cooks, cleans, and other ‘wifely’ duties to avoid trouble. I have been the breadwinner for years and I pay all the bills, but I see the bruised ego in my husband’s eyes. Whenever I ask for a favour because I cant, due to work, I see it in his eyes that he considers himself above all that. But he has no choice. And I have to shut up because, God forbid his ego is bruised.

    So, no Mr Shush, women do not shout it from the rooftops. If that is the case, you will know more female breadwinner coz they will all come out. But really, how many do you know? Whether we bring home the bacon or not, our world still revolves around making the man feel good.

    Regarding Olajumoke. If the marriage needs to work, sure, the man should be upgraded too. But this might one day lead to, “I made him who he is’ so they can never truly be equal. And the marriage can also work perfectly the way it is if they love each other.
    But like someone commented, this article will not exist if it was the other way round. Who has ever asked that a woman be upgraded simply because her man is intellectually higher?

    • shush

      February 22, 2016 at 9:41 am

      Dammie so you see, from your comment alone, we can see so many things wrong in this.

      I quote you “I have been the breadwinner for years and I pay all the bills, but I see the bruised ego in my husband’s eyes. ”

      How many men do you hear this from? Because you do it, we hear it on Bella naija.

      Do you know how many women their husbands bought cars for?
      Do you know how many women their husbands have established- in business and whatever?
      Do you know the impact men have made in the lives of their wives and their family?

      But you know what, you will never hear it anywhere. But as for the women, BN must hear it!

  46. K1

    February 21, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    Mr Praise u have come again with your chavaunistic views on marriage biko waka pass.If it was the other way round u will be advising her tobrush herself up and start catering to his every wimp so that another woman will not steal him. Giving useless advise since 1820.

  47. tunmi

    February 23, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    Too bad the former First Lady didn’t get all this consideration. The tone of the articles written about her to go to a polishing school were something else.

  48. Naija Girl

    February 24, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    Apparently this was a publicity stunt
    rumorbus.com/2016/02/23/the-breadseller-story-was-a-publicity-stunt/

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