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31 Year Old Woman Commits Suicide because All Her Friends were Getting Married while She Remained Single

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Danielle Saul_Manchester_UK

What a tragedy … a 31 year old Manchester woman, Danielle Saul, committed suicide three days after she told her best friend she “wanted to die” because she was still single.

She had met with her ex that night, and committed suicide after they didn’t reconcile.

Daily Mail got statements from her mother and best friend –

Her mother Karen Saul, from Preston, Lancashire, told the inquest: ‘She had had a couple of long-term relationships, one of which was around five years ago, and then that broke up but she still had feelings for him and found it difficult.

‘I think she had an overload that weekend with the upset from her previous relationship. She had met up with that person and I think she hoped they would get back together.

‘She had a difficult time at work a few months prior to that in her previous job where she had a very difficult bullying boss who got her upset.

‘I believe she went to the doctors about that in November 2014, and it seems around then three or four of her best friends got married.

‘At the time quite a number of her friends were getting married and she was going to hen parties and she was going to be bridesmaid and I think she got overloaded with these things and emotionally things became exaggerated.’

Ms Saul’s best friend Lucy Nixon, who had known her for 15 years, said the pair met up before their planned night out on the Saturday.

She said: ‘She was very down.

‘She always used very intensive words and we were expressive with one another. Saying “I feel like dying” would not be unusual.

‘She sent me a photo of herself crying on Saturday. Going for drinks would be a huge distraction and she wouldn’t bring that up. She did tell me in 2014 that she wanted to see a counsellor because she needed to deal with her demons.’

She was found hanged in her apartment, and her blood had twice the legal driving limit for alcohol in her system.

Photo Credit: Facebook.com

87 Comments

  1. Lagos is my home

    March 29, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Na wa for pressures we put on ourselves. ….. 31 still young , been single is never that deep .

  2. Spunky

    March 29, 2016 at 7:57 pm

    Why na?! And she was a very pretty lady…RIP! Isn’t it possible for one to be single and stay happy? I marvel at the amount of pressure people place on themselves all in the name of marriage. It is well.

  3. Majestic

    March 29, 2016 at 8:02 pm

    Smh…I believe these people that commit suicide don’t believe in God…if they did they’d know what lies after suicide is way worse(which is an understatement) than whatever it was they were passing through…
    Her family should be strong…

    • Ogo

      March 29, 2016 at 8:42 pm

      Thank God you said it’s your own myopic belief

    • that uptown girl

      March 29, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      Osukosu nwa mkpi ga asugbu gi o. Body go just dey pepper person!

    • Mz Socially Awkward...

      March 30, 2016 at 12:05 am

      You obviously don’t understand anything about depression.

      It isolates you completely from even the Faith you once proclaimed to profess and the love of well-meaning friends and family, who keep trying to convince you that your life still counts for something special.

      Remember how Jesus emphasised on the parable of the Good Shepherd and His flock? And how the sheep are always in danger of being lured away by the voice of another? One of those voices used by the devil is depression that leads to suicide and it’s stolen away the lives of more Christians than you might imagine. So just pray for your brothers and sisters, as much as you’re able to since you have no idea what demons many of them are wrestling with behind their forced “Sunday smile”.

    • Kevin D.

      March 31, 2016 at 12:07 am

      Shut your lying – mouth.

    • John

      March 31, 2016 at 6:51 pm

      What a horrible person you are……what lies ahead? Who’d want to be in a heaven with someone like you?

  4. Hian

    March 29, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Depression is real, sometimes I just wonder how i got to this stage… I’ve tried talking to my friends about it but they all think I’m joking and I take things too serious.. I was so drown in my feelings that I almost did something stupid yesterday… Anyways rip to the dead

    • Osa

      March 29, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      My dear you ain’t the only one.
      Depression is a killer, and can lead one to do unimaginable things. I’m sure it was just the feeling of wanting to take a break from life for her, which was perhaps not improving

    • Grace

      March 29, 2016 at 8:26 pm

      I’m sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. I know how you feel as I have experienced similar emotions but please speak to a professional about how you have been feeling. Sometimes life get so hard but KNOW that there are better days ahead. There are resources/apps that can help you process your thoughts and emotions. I will also be praying for you because I know God is the ultimate healer!

    • nwakaego

      March 29, 2016 at 8:46 pm

      Ohh dear please get help…I suffered depression and anxiety attack from 2013 -2015…..God saved me….I know he did…

    • oj's friend

      March 29, 2016 at 8:47 pm

      Is your”s related to marriage?if yes then pls i need to talk to you.
      Sadness and depression starts for some people when they get married
      I just came out of the way you feel and am married
      please try to do things that makes you happy
      That’s how i live now

    • Challenges

      March 29, 2016 at 8:49 pm

      I’m sorry that your friends don’t understand depression. I am also depressed and I have suicidal moments too…some days I’m on a real highhhh and more times I feel so low. I’m such a smiley person so no one knows what I’m actually dealing with. It’s a daily battle , don’t b too hard on yourself. RIP Danielle

    • Psych

      March 30, 2016 at 10:19 pm

      Hey Ms Challenges if you need to talk to someone about your depression let me know . God keep you well

    • Lyly

      March 29, 2016 at 8:58 pm

      I’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety since 2014 fall. Before then, I didn’t really understand what depression really was about. It’s been really a struggle since I’m still in school and no matter how hard I try to pick my self up, I still drown in my own little world??.But I believe I’ll get better some day☹️☹️??…..

    • @DrOsaz

      March 29, 2016 at 9:09 pm

      Hi Hian. I’m sorry to read about your plight especially the part of your friends misunderstanding you. In lieu of your reference to something stupid you almost did yesterday, I’m willing to offer you a free 6-session of psychotherapy & lifestyle coaching using CBT, EFT, & NLP if you don’t mind. The thing is, talking to your friends might offer little or no help till you talk to an expert and you don’t have to blame yourself for how you got to this stage. Contact me via [email protected] asap. (BTW, I’m a certified Physician, Psychotherapist, & LIfe coach)

    • californiabawlar

      March 29, 2016 at 9:19 pm

      Thank you!!! @Hian please reach out!!

    • Hian

      March 29, 2016 at 9:50 pm

      I sent you an email thank you

    • californiabawlar

      March 29, 2016 at 9:11 pm

      Please it’s time for you to talk to a doctor…if you can’t locate a psychologist, please just go to your family doctor and speak with him/her in confidence, they’ll point you in the right direction. Seeking help is not a big deal sweetie, we all need some assistance every now and then.

      I understand having thoughts of ending it all…but I have realized that I’m not just a stand alone entity…so many other peoples lives and destinies are tied to mine….not just my friends and family who will become devastated by loosing me…even people I haven’t met. The stranger having a bad day that I will smile at…the orphan on the street that I will give change to for their meal for the day…. a friend (or stranger) going through a hard time that I will share a word of encouragement with! It goes on from there…

      Please talk to your medical doctor there, I strongly believe it will do you a lot of good. Keep your head up!

    • @DrOsaz

      March 29, 2016 at 10:48 pm

      Glad you decided for a lasting solution. Kindly identify your mail address cos I received over 10 mails via Bella naija just now and not sure of which is yours. Regards.

    • Hian

      March 29, 2016 at 11:42 pm

      The subject of the email is HIAN from Bella naija. And the first 3 letter is tol

    • bukky

      March 30, 2016 at 2:10 am

      @Hian, please dear, seek professional help. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but one day you will look back and your current problems will be insignificant. Please, please talk to a professional. We love you!!

    • tope

      March 30, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      I am usually a happy person but since i entered medical school it has not been easy, After failing an important exam, i spent sleepless night on, i stood on the middle of the road to be hit but thank God i am much better.

    • Lynn

      March 30, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      Please, don’t do anything stupid. I came close to doing same last year but I had to speak out. My family thought I was overindulging my feelings but a total stranger understood and saved me from myself. I’d like to be that stranger to you. You can reach me via email on onuohalynn @ymail.com. Am waiting to hear from you

  5. Hian

    March 29, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Someone I want to talk to on this blog she or him goes by the username”who cares” pls drop your email if you are the one thanks

  6. Ogochukwu

    March 29, 2016 at 8:19 pm

    RIP. My heart felt condolences goes to her family,her mum in particular. Is really not easy when things are not going according to your plan. I know how she must have felt. The thing is we must not compare ourselves with others. God has a plan for us and I believe that he can give you whatever you think you have lost in thousands.

  7. oludara.ogunbowale

    March 29, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    Womennnnnnnnnnnnnnn Womeeeeeeeeeeeen Womeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.How many times did I call us…..hmmmmmmm.
    Only God can fill the hole in our lives…No man can…Men are wonderful but they are also humans..Do not place another human being on that pedestal.Critics will always talk,society will always expect,People will always say,’When are you getting married’ You are getting old” bla bla bla but trusssssssssssssssst me,it is exaggerated.Your life is more important.You have to be strong and get your self esteem from God and doing the right things and not from being with a man……Im still processing this lady’s death in my head.Really I am…We always are responsible for our actions,not even those who triggered the actions will take the blame….Moses hit the rock and dint speak to it…God punished him..God dint say ..’Oh,Israelites caused it’ rara o…You will take control of your own life by Gods grace…We women have got to live our lives for God and others to be fulfilled… Living for a mortal man can not get you fulfilled.Sometimes we even lose the true essence of marriage which is a holy union of two people coming together to strengthen each other and encourage each other in this evil world,going on to produce righteous seeds or offsprings who will let evil know that God is,will be and always will be…Marriage is not for social media or evnen for your own satisfaction..It is for Gods ultimate purpose,that is why successful marriages no be beans ..

    Women should know that we are in the world for God FIRST….No body belongs to anybody..we all belong to God Almighty,The fact that you are not married does not mean yopu are less beautiful,or attractive or even desirable….I acknowledge and understand our need for men but we dont need anybody else like air…Only God can we not do without.
    Be happy,go out,help widows(so you know people live without husbands too) see a movie,read a book,keep praying,find a purpose,fulfil it,travel, see the world…because when you truly live is when fulfilment comes along…I dont have more words to express my thoughts right now..If this is true,all I can say is Danielle,Rest in peace.
    For women who are even thinking of going Danielles’ path..God wont hold your ex responsible for your life…Do not let God even hear you say you took your life for somebody who has not even met you,or who has decided not to see what you are worth,or who was never even in God’s plan for you in the first place…..
    My dear girls,ladies and women…..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,If only we knew how precious we are to God,we will not lose our lives because of the fulfilment that even men cant give……God bless all women and all men who deeply love their women…

    • *curious*

      March 29, 2016 at 8:48 pm

      Amen ?

    • lacey

      March 29, 2016 at 9:17 pm

      Thank you so much for this piece! I am going to be 40 this year, lived in Europe and moved back to Nja, after pressure and insult of being single, I took of again to pursue my dreams! My life has always been eventful and enjoyed! I get toasters from 27-50 and above and I was only able to love myself after surviving bouts of depression,especially when you hit 30 and. Start counting! I had marriage proposals but. not a fan of early marriage!The truth is love yourself first! No body can love you like you! Love your neighbour as yourself means having that self love and having a personal relationship with God! Before I forget, I will be heading to Las Vegas for my birthday this weekend! This woman was so pretty but could not see it! Please look at the mirror everyday and tell your self how beautiful you look! Most humans are selfish this days! So not even a husband/wife is key to happiness!

    • Aijay.....

      March 30, 2016 at 9:39 am

      Great comment. Single ladies need to live and enjoy their life.

  8. californiabawlar

    March 29, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    And people will say the hustle is only among Naija or African babes! I think it’s even worse for oyinbos who seemingly have it easier because they don’t have company.

    Meanwhile, on a scale of 1-10, how rude would it be if I send this article to my friend who has been acting marriage obsessed lately. That’s all she can talk and think about…she has tried every single dating site known to man…and weirdly/coincidentally enough she like this lady also reached out to an ex- after a drunken Vegas night just 3weeks ago….the ex responded and all at first but she told me he hasn’t contacted her again for the last week or so. She don cry tire…
    Please keep in mid that this madam is somewhat neurotic and just recovered from medical depression after a relationship that went terribly wrong.
    She has found a thing or two wrong with close friends that got married in the past and cut them off. Me I know that if I decide to marry before her that’s the end of our friendship fa….
    Anyways, thinking about it, I don’t know what good forwarding this link would do for her state of mind…I can be shady and send it to our other friends though…just be like…”…who this remind you of?” hehehehe. God forgive me. I need to do better 😛

    • Uju

      March 29, 2016 at 10:42 pm

      You disgust me
      Do you have a heart at all?
      There’s something called empathy….. Try to apply it sometime

    • californiabawlar

      March 29, 2016 at 11:15 pm

      Awww….I’m really sorry I sounded like I don’t empathize with her! No one is perfect, I’m not and I’m not one to hide my true thoughts even when I’m anonymous online.

      **warning**long response**

      I really just can’t understand the mindset of making marriage the bane of your existence! I have tried over and over again to convince her that her life will be alright with or without a man but she refuses to listen. I think I gave up when she unfriended two of her best friends because they got married (among others)…it has nothing to do with depression, more of the selfish state of her heart. These were friendships of several decades, and you stop talking to them because they are seemingly doing better than you? One of them that I that met through her o, keeps texting me that I should beg her….this madam has refused. Abeg after a while, my own heart started withdrawing from the friendship too….(and that’s probably what showed through in my comment).
      As it is, she’s only friends with me because she thinks we’re in the same lonely old lady’s club! See as she was excited when I turned 30 and she kept repeating over and over again that the number of my suitors will drastically reduce…and she even seemed slightly upset that I didn’t feel any type of way when talking about my new age…have you seen that kind of thing before?
      Also, I have struggled with seeing the ‘shock’ in suicide….I have my own stories to tell…and I more than empathize when someone contemplates suicide over so many issues (and even when there seems to be none). I’ve had to get counsel over how you need to live for more than just yourself if you’ll ride tides out….now in the case of a person who I know is inherently selfish…always about ME ME ME, what can I say or do to empathize with her or convince her to hang on?

      I usually don’t give a ratsass when I read negative responses…but i just had to shed a some more light since it involves the matter of live and death, and may help other people like my friend see how they could ruin their friendships.
      I don’t dislike her, otherwise I’d stop being friends with her…God knows I even pray for her to find a man…but I have my moments that when I analyze the situation, I’m just done.
      Like I said, I need to do better.

    • Huh

      March 29, 2016 at 10:55 pm

      You are just horrible. Making jest of a friend who is obviously in need (emotional need) right now. Imagine, you actually want to send it to other friends and ask them who it reminds them of. Wow. Who needs enemies with friends like you?!

    • californiabawlar

      March 29, 2016 at 11:30 pm

      Okay…maybe I am terrible person! **tears**
      She’s not in any immediate need….we were all there for her when she needed help through her breakup. She moved into my apartment and i wouldn’t even discuss the situation with any iota of jest and lightness. Other events (stated above) lead us all to start disconnecting from her emotionally. AND SHE KNOWS! I have told her…but she won’t listen.
      Anyways I’ve always had a problem with empathizing with issues I don’t care for…thought I worked on it, but I guess not. Holy Spirit come and finish your transformation work biko!

    • Wanderlust _Trekeffect

      March 30, 2016 at 12:00 pm

      Pls why is every one attacking CB? I could bet my bottom dollar that the lot of you have done worse things but you come on here to castigate someone else in such manner. Self righteous judgments from folks like you are what push people into suicide.

    • Bleh

      March 30, 2016 at 7:59 am

      @californiabawler.
      Your comment is disgusting.
      People like you have fangs well hidden and cleverly displayed when you can dig deep into others without being noticed. The malevolence and contempt in your tone that you think you’ve cleverly disguised under humour….

      What you don’t know is that your words reveal the real you, far more than you know.

      Why wait until you marry before her? She should cut you off now.

    • Ada Nnewi

      March 30, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      Her comment is not disgusting..it’s true..that her “depressed” friend is a spiteful individual…Californiabawler abeg nothing do you…You have tried to support better look after yourself and watch your back with that kind of individual abeg… You know you are a good person so don’t waste time trying to prove it to people that don’t know jack about you…

    • Ready

      March 30, 2016 at 9:34 am

      @Californiabawlar, this DOES NOT MAKE YOU A TERRIBLE PERSON. All these strangers passing these remarks about you as if they know you.
      I don’t comment often anymore, but I remember reading some personal details that you’ve shared in the past. You have your stories too, and you came out of those times as a vibrant woman. I understand your inability to completely get what your friend is going through; lack of total empathy DOES NOT make you a terrible person.
      Maybe you should have a straight up discussion with your friend starting with this story, and express that you’re worried about her. Don’t go the “who does this remind you of” path. You hear? Chin up, For sure, self assessment is necessary but please do not believe any of this nonsense about your disapproval of your friend’s marriage obsession making you a bad human.

      Love & Light. *on my hippie ish*

    • Lizzie

      March 30, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      Hello Ready!!!! Like hellooooo. So good to know you’re still out there. I have missed your commentary ????

    • dami

      March 30, 2016 at 7:10 pm

      your really the reason I don’t have friends. you are really wicked

  9. Bowl

    March 29, 2016 at 8:33 pm

    @Majestic. Pls don’t talk like that. People who believe in God also have suicide ideations. Life is a battle. The world expects nothing less than victory all the time. And every man must walk the path to their destiny whether they believe in God or not.

  10. Tolu4show

    March 29, 2016 at 8:43 pm

    Apparently this I must marry before 30 thing is not just an African thing. Le sigh

  11. Truth

    March 29, 2016 at 8:49 pm

    I believe it was depression and low self esteem that killed her. Not necessarily because she was unmarried.
    Even if she was married and d marriage wasn’t working or heading for divorce, or perhaps she was finding it difficult to conceive, she may still committ suicide.
    When your life happiness is put into one person or towards a marriage or even a job and it isn’t working, with depression you may still committ suicide.
    The watch word should be a woman suffering from depression committed suicide. Her issue is much more than being unmarried. I’m no psychologist but I believe it’s more than being single at 31.
    Plus are they really even sure she actually committed suicide or she just needed a release by drinking too much, she wanted to be numb to her problems.
    After a major break up yrs ago. I didn’t want to committ suicide, but I just felt like being away from life, from my pain and my problems for a moment. I wanted to sleep and perhaps not wake up for a long while. Till my pain was gone, I just felt numb. This might have been her state of mind.

    • kele

      March 31, 2016 at 10:20 am

      If you felt like “being away from life|” after your break-up, doesn’t that mean being unalive/dead? If you die by your own hand (because depression and/or low self esteem will not take human form and slice your wrists or hang you), isn’t that suicide?

      What then do you mean by “are they sure she committed suicide?” She was found hanging in her apartment!

  12. Truth

    March 29, 2016 at 8:49 pm

    Haba fine girl!!! When Nigerian men even their “celebs” will gladly marry u just so they’ll become citizens… No one ever mentioned that to her#chai.

  13. DD

    March 29, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    Omo being single for too long ain’t easy,thats why some married people that rushed into marriage and have seen the light that is not meant to be rushed will tell you to enjoy your time while at it and make sure He/She is the one b4 marriage … and for one to achieve that one needs to surround themselves with great, inspiring people (married or not) and a whole lot of JESUS!!….

  14. Yeye

    March 29, 2016 at 9:29 pm

    Depression killed her, not being single. If she was married, she would have thought of something else which would have led to depression and ultimately her death. There are a lot of people above 30 and not in the least depressed because they are single. Getting married is easy. In the last 3 years, 4 men have approached me for marriage. None for love though. One was for papers, one was gay and wanted cover, one was 48 and still a playboy but wanted his family off his back and the other was to escape deportation. All men came clean with their intentions and I could have married anyone of them and still be married to them just because I don’t want to be single. So, getting married is actually not that difficult. Please young girls you can cross 30 and still be happy. Don’t rush into marriage because you fear the pressure of being single might make you kill yourself, NO!

    I am 34, still very much single and with the look of things might remain so for a long time. I do not even think about marriage, it rarely crosses my mind on its own apart from when people ask question. I don’t feel pressure whatsoever. Nigerians love to ask questions and I don’t think its in bad taste, I just tell them the truth and drop the topic. I rarely have time to even think about it because I am busy(anesthesiologist) plus I volunteer and do missionary work on the side. My life is really tight. My advise? Get busy and don’t give pressure or depression a chance. I might or might never get married, I don’t know. In the mean time I’m being busy and attending all the birth ceremonies of my friends’ third or fourth children during the weekends when I can. At least I rarely have to cook these days as they always package my foods and send them across, lol. Be happy and enjoy your life. Its just one life you have, being, sad or unhappy about a particular situation would not change it or elongate your life span.live your life to the fullest.

  15. BamBam

    March 29, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    I was all in my feelings and had teary eyes from Megan and Ekene’s wedding post on BN. I said let me check BN again sef and BAM!!! someone committed suicide . ahhhhhh i just burst into laughter , its not that deep …..

    • Pompey

      March 30, 2016 at 1:29 am

      Suicide made you burst out laughing?

      Girl, bye!

    • Na wa

      March 30, 2016 at 8:54 am

      Another insensitive bugger on the loose. Someone’s suicide made you burst into laughter??? Mehn, na wa for una o

  16. ethio

    March 29, 2016 at 10:12 pm

    This issue of marriage is way overrated. i don’t even see where all the supposed bliss, fulfillment and blah blah lies in it, tell yourself you’re above your worries and try your best to get over it and as lacey would say ‘love yourself’ no birch is worth your tears or your night sleep joor. I’d rather kill myself than commit suicide over marriage

  17. shoo

    March 29, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    white women problems

  18. shoo

    March 29, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    Meanwhile all those friends married will be divorced next year sef.
    mschewwwwww

  19. Middle Girl

    March 29, 2016 at 11:02 pm

    This story is so sad ?. I used to battle serious depression too. It was badder than bad ?. One time I randomly looked at my circumstances and wondered why I was depressed sef. Like I Couldn’t place it at all.Then Jesus happened ??. I wanted out of depression so bad that I became addicted to studying the Bible. Whenever I noticed the rising overwhelming feelings, I would just open my Bible. Today, I’m free from depression. Thank God ?.

    if you’re facing depression today, the One Person to go to is God “Come to Me, all you who…are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

    and oh yes, reading Psalm 143 (amp) prayerfully really helped a great deal. I believe it’s a prescription for dealing with depression. Read it everyday if you have to. It worked for me ?. I believe it will work for you too.

    You can read my blog diaryofmsgenesis.com

  20. Natu

    March 29, 2016 at 11:07 pm

    My identity is in Christ and not of the world. I refuse to allow this world to depress , oppress and mould me into their ideals. I have learnt to pray, laugh, work and live!!!! I refuse to allow this world to determine my happiness. Marriage is beautiful but it is not that deep. How can you love another if you do not love yourself. May her soul rest in perfect peace.

    • Abk

      March 29, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      1st time I like a comment of yours, well said!

    • Pompey

      March 30, 2016 at 1:28 am

      I know right?

      See Natu actually leaving a positive vibe with her comment. It’s amazing. Long may it continue!

    • Yeye

      March 30, 2016 at 2:00 am

      Natu!!!!! I can see Christ all over you! Wow! For the first time! Sister I tap into your anointing. You’re blessed! This is what Jesus does in peoples’ lives. He gives them wisdom beyond human reasoning. Natu may this newfound annoying never depart from your life. May your love and search for Christ continue to yield fruits. I noticed lately you have been mellow and commenting like somebody with Christ but this takes the crown. God bless you!

    • Puzzles

      March 30, 2016 at 10:54 am

      What??? I honestly thought you were an atheist as per your often controversial statements…..

    • lady

      March 30, 2016 at 2:18 pm

      she believes in God just doesn’t follow religion like we do, and no this isn’t yeye……. lol Hi yeye i miss you mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (goodluck trying to figure who i am and please )

  21. Mabel

    March 29, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    Too many ppl have no clue how to cope with disappointment. No two lives are going to follow the same path, everything in nature has its season. Trees bear when it is their season not because other trees in close proximity are bearing. If folks stop marinating on sad events and disappointments they will not fall depressed. Happy and joyful ppl are not that way 24/7, they too meet into failures and disappointment, but we make a conscious choice to dust off the rubble and cheerfully rebuild. I do not get ppl who do not expect any obstacle in their life. whatsoever, how would you appreciate and value the good times if you did not go through the bad?

    • Cesc

      March 30, 2016 at 4:44 pm

      You are very wise dear Mabel. I love you for this comment..

  22. Lulu

    March 30, 2016 at 1:18 am

    If u commit suicide you have committed murder. That is to say, you killed a human being.
    First class ticket to hell.

    Live. Laugh.Love.

    Life is not that serious.

    • bukky

      March 30, 2016 at 2:25 am

      “First class ticket to hell.” says who? God is NOT man, and he has the ability to forgive and have mercy on whomever he chooses to.

  23. cuppy

    March 30, 2016 at 1:51 am

    @ californiabrawler…..just zip up….too much opata(nonsense) rolling out at once.
    @ Natu…..you didnt just type that,you spoke to my heart,a different side of you.
    Most Nigerians are in denial,depression is real

  24. me

    March 30, 2016 at 2:09 am

    I love you! Thank you for breaking it down so well. Sometimes, the most educated and seemingly intelligent eople lack empathy and it’s disheartening. Depression is not a bad day, or bad luck. Its Hopelessnes….and it’s nothing that I would wish on even my enemy.

  25. Gorgeous

    March 30, 2016 at 2:10 am

    Sorry to all the depressed. May you find healing. Like an article in daily mail, depression comes from life experiences, tragic ones. And not really biology as has been claimed. I think you all need to reach deep at the root of this depression and overcome it. I have always been a light hearted person, and truly have had my own very tough times through the loss of a very loved one. However I am what you will call a crazy optimist.
    I am quite optimistic and I always know that there is a rainbow at the end of the storm. I work hard to attain that rainbow. In setting goals for myself, I have a hard time getting depressed. As to this article, I am not sure if it’s kids I want or marriage. I honestly just want the kids. I am a rebel naturally and will have many kids without marriage if I could get away with it. But I will do the marriage for my mum and my future kids stability.
    It also helps that my boyfriend is a wonderful guy, though with his own flaws. And I love him just that way… Never admitted the love part though. Haha. Shh. Love and light to all suffering. And for big girls like us, just focus on life, if marriage comes, it comes. If kids are your thing, go get kids. Live is for the living and the unconventional. So just do you. At the end of the day when you close your door, it’s just you. So do what makes you happy always, as long as you don’t go out of your way to hurt others.

  26. Choices

    March 30, 2016 at 3:16 am

    I suffer from depression and anxiety and have been suffering from it for a while. I really wish I could see a licensed therapist or psychologist but I can’t afford it. Can someone here refer me to any free and good services please? It would be greatly appreciated.

    • jennietobbie

      March 30, 2016 at 4:41 am

      Find “Leke Alder” on Twitter or click on this link: jacknjillive.com/therapy/ Lots of love to you. Remember, you are most important. 🙂

  27. Mi

    March 30, 2016 at 5:11 am

    It’s almost funny when people say Real Christians don’t get depressed/suicidal.
    1. Elijah got depressed and asked God to kill him.
    2. Moses did the same thing too
    3.David too
    4. Jonah actually attempted suicide.
    Being a christian does not shield you from being depressed and/or suicidal. Your suicidal attempt will not succeed if Gld doesn’t want it to succeed. That being said, it’s always a good idea to seek God when you’re depressed.

  28. maamek

    March 30, 2016 at 9:35 am

    oh my dear why do this to yourself na?marriage is not a competition my mum tells me always…why bow to soo much pressure?i know we feel depressed sometime but to the extent of taking your own life?hmmmm dear Lord please help us…am 34 and still single…hope my call will be picked this year..and may all single ladies find true love in Jesus Name…Amen.

  29. Sweets

    March 30, 2016 at 9:45 am

    oludara.ogunbowale thanks for en lighting us all on the need to not see others as a reason to be happy but first and foremost love ourselves and leave God to see us through the rest…Suicide should never be a way out .I pray God grant her family and friends the Grace to find consolation at this time and may her soul RIP. Lets learn to appreciate the little stuff that matters like the gift of life because sometimes the things we hugely crave for like marriage may not give us that fulfillment we think we’ll get…Love you all and God bless

  30. cath.

    March 30, 2016 at 10:11 am

    only you is in control and in charge of your life. is happiness guaranteed in marriage? guard your heart with all diligence because out of it are the issues of life. what thoughts do you allow your mind to process. you have the power to say am not gonna dwell on so and so thought. Had it been you do not have the power, the word of God would not have said so! If you like say its depression; oh its mental sickness; — you will sure give account of your life because you are the sole captain of it!

  31. Somtoo

    March 30, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    I used to be in a hurry until i told myself “NNE PIA BRAKE (press brake) Its not that serious. I understand for some women we get lonely, but i remind myself that ill rather be lonely and at peace than to be married to a man that will give me heartattack or one that i dont love.

    Almost everyday (not kidding) i see men spotting weddin rings and asking me to date them . Come and see pursuit (calls, visits, recharge cards et al) as if they are single. All of them with varying excuses why they want a piece on the side. These men are not old o. I dont even get old married toasters. Young men in their 30s. Its exhausting telling them to go away. All i just do is auto reject their calls. Tired of preaching to them to remember their marriage vows.
    One actually had the galls to tell me on sunday” just date me, No one will know”” and i replied God will know. When you become God, come back with this your dirty proposal.
    Its an epidemic!!!! Is fidelity becoming obsolete??? Tufiakwa. God forbid

    I say to myself, darling you have waited this long, you cant settle for rubbish. These dudes scare me off marriage but i know there are good men out there. God is keeping mine for me.

    I used to be sad but no more mehn. I turn 30 on saturday (Shy, covers face).

    Girls, just remember, live and be happy. Trust in the journey and one day, just like that, the man made for you, that one who knows jst what he needs to do to keep you will find you.

    Those who know my birth date will catch me oooo. Lol.

  32. Ever Green

    March 30, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    I am going to be 32 on September 29th this year, I am not married, no children and I am just managing the Job I have, my salary is not what I will wish for but I thank God I still have a job, my age is the least on my mind but all I want to do is move forward and I feel as if I am stuck in one place and the people we are looking forward to for marital approval are keeping silent and I wont lie it is emotionally draining but I promise myself and I keep on saying it that if it ended, I am strong enough to start again as long as God keeps me alive, I have done it in the past and I can still do it again, sadness is no respecter of anybody it takes the grace of God to overcome and this is how I dealt with my weakest moment.

    Appreciate the gift of life, I had motor accident 1st of September last year and 8th of March this year, but I thank God I am still alive and I don’t have injury that alone is a blessing and a miracle, ladies please appreciate this life and have a relationship with your maker, it is very important.

    Read the Bible, Quran or which one rocks your boat.

    Encourage and talk loud to yourself, example. I am strong and I will not let sadness ruin my life, this is just a phase in my life, I will overcome it and tomorrow is going to be better than today, if you don’t encourage yourself who will?

    Cry and cry, release those emotionally draining emotions sooner or later you will get past that stage and in future you will laugh at your self.

    Volunteer to work for the less privilege, when you see other people’s plight and living condition, it may influence you to appreciate what you have.

    Do something new, what you have not done in the past go out more because an idle mind is the devil’s work shop. (Visit Hospitals especially places like Luth, Lasuth or Mortuary) I am sure you will have a rethink no matter how sad you think you are because you will see people younger and older than you, wishing for second chance to live.

    Research about depression and talk to people, experts and if you can’t afford that talk to someone that you know has empathy for human life.

    Lastly, pray and pray and I want you to remember that God loves you, He created you, He is your potter and you are the clay and you have no right to take your life because in doing so you are destroying the work of God and so many destinies are tied to yours.
    Wishing you all the best…………..

  33. Eziokwu!

    March 30, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    Dear Mz Socially Awkward, I’d love to read about your experience being single. Is it something you have to deal with? Or you’re able to throw you head back and give no care to the world?

    From a single sister navigating the waters of spinsterhood criticism.

    • Boom shakalaka

      March 31, 2016 at 12:51 pm

      Lol this comment is bae

  34. Tosin

    March 31, 2016 at 11:11 am

    she could have moved to Nigeria. she could have done many other things instead…

    marriage ain’t a thing, people, this woman truncated her life for nothing. is it not the same marriage that is a bunch of work and stress and grief in many cases? why the jealousy? anyway RIP.

  35. Boom shakalaka

    March 31, 2016 at 12:49 pm

    And one thought that dis marriage pressure was worse in nigeria… Smdh.
    My yngr sis just wedded last month, I and my best friend were practically the sole planners and organizers if d wedding..
    The way I talked excitedly abt d wedding n distributed IVs personally to ppl…
    U won’t believe how many ppl were surprised at me n some who cdnt contain themselves strtd asking my mum how come I wasnt d least upset or depressed at my lil sis marrying b4 me….??
    This rly goes to show d society we live in… If u let d nonsensities get to u, it wld…
    But if u kip urself happy, someone else getting married will be a thing if joy instead of grief for u….✌️

  36. Kkay

    March 31, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    @Somtoo and Ever Green, wise words.
    @Ever Green I share the same birthday with you,
    I am still single and happy.

    If it wasn’t God that ordained marriage. I would’ve said folks shouldn’t bother with it.
    Unfortunately man’s fall in Eden muddled up marriage and everything else.
    Marriage is still good but some ladies are just so fixated on it they don’t get to enjoy other wonderful things around them.
    My closest friends are aii in good marriages with lovely kid. We still have a great relationship.

    Life is beautiful. That’s the side of life I ‘ve decided to see regardless of challenges.
    I simply count my blessings.
    I love to laugh and be happy. Worry is outta the window. That’s a choice, too.
    Life is too short no matter how long we live.
    Depression is a weapon of the devil. People who suffer from it needs our prayers, counseling, support group and lots of love.

    Women worry about age because of their biological clock. Hmmmm….
    Two of my cousins got married, one at 25 but yet to have a baby in about 20 years. The other got married two years ago at 46 and just had twin baby boys this February.
    Fact is, a woman could marry at any age …and adopt children if she is past child-bearing.
    Those who want their own biological children should focus on early marriage. There is no guarantee either way.

    Suitors come all the time but one has to be careful. Five years ago , I nearly walked down the aisle with a guy that would’ve made life miserable nothwithstanding all the “love”, luxury et al. I prayed to God to get me out of that relationship!! There’s more to marriage – trust, friendship,……
    I love the simple unpretentious lifestyle.

    Ladies, just find fulfillment in God and being the best of you wether married, waiting, or single.

  37. Kkay

    April 1, 2016 at 10:17 am

    Typo……*lovely kids.*

  38. Cookie

    April 1, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    RIP to the dead. These marriage talks left right and centre is making me dizzy. Thankfully my dad hasn’t pressured me to get married rather it’s my friends’ mum who’s taken it upon herself to always pray for man anytime we go visiting that’s it’s becoming embarrassing.
    On a lighter note, please I need mature friends to hang out with in Lagos as I’m a JJC in this town and bored.

  39. guest2801

    August 27, 2016 at 5:49 am

    It’s me, except I’m male and I haven’t committed suicide (yet)…

  40. jj

    October 1, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    Is this even true?

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