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This Woman’s post about her Small Diamond Ring & the Pressure to Change it went Viral

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Rachel PedersonRachel Pederson innocently put up a photo of her rings on her Facebook page, not knowing it would draw so many comments and criticism.

In response to all the drama surrounding her ‘small ring’, she wrote a post about it which went viral.

The consultant (she works with small companies to improve their social media) has now come out to say she doesn’t judge people with bigger rings on Huffington Post Weddings – My Response to Women With Big Diamonds.

Here’s the original post that went up in February, and the follow-up published this weekend below.Rachel Pederson_small ring_1

Yes, I know that my wedding ring is small.

Friends and family often ask me when I’m going to have it “upgraded”…. After all, it doesn’t represent the level of success we are achieving.

I’ve even had one person say “you could wear a bigger ring for important events, so people don’t think you’re not successful.”

Wait a minute…. Since when did the size of someone’s ring become an indication of success?!

For me, the ring is SO much more.

My ring symbolizes a whirlwind, storybook, “make you sick” love story…. It reminds me of how my husband and I met and fell at in love in one night at a Perkin’s diner. He worked as a window washer, and I was a single mother.

One short week later, and we professed our love to one another, him leading the conversation.

We couldn’t stop dreaming of our future, so excited to have a baby, buy a house, and fall asleep together every night.

We couldn’t wait for the future. So we didn’t.

13 days after meeting, we eloped. I didn’t even THINK about a ring until my husband surprised me before the ceremony. He drained his savings to gift me with a small token of his love.

I say small, only because it pales in comparison with how big his love is, even now, after years of marriage.

That, my friends, is success to me.

***

To women with big diamonds.

Here is my response to women with big diamonds:

I don’t think you’re shallow.

I don’t assume you’re insecure.

I don’t expect that your marriage is unhappy or doomed.

I think your ring is beautiful.

I believe that your love is bigger than your ring.

And I’m happy for you.

The success and happiness of your marriage and your life are about so much more than the ring on your finger, regardless of the size. Your husband had the funds available to buy something incredibly precious for you, as a token of his love for you.

My original statement still stands, and is completely applicable to you as well, “Wait a minute…. Since when did the size of someone’s ring become an indication of success?!”

It is my hope that you never let anyone talk down to you because your ring is big. Don’t ever waste a day being embarrassed or ashamed of your beautiful rock. Your ring tells a story of a beautiful love that changed your life forever.

My original point remains. Ring size doesn’t matter. Your love is all that matters.

I welcome you to share your own love story in the comments.

Photo Credit: Facebook.com

39 Comments

  1. prince

    April 25, 2016 at 11:59 am

    Naija babes una hear. That word is BIG.

    • kaeto

      April 25, 2016 at 5:19 pm

      I am very rich, I have always been. My father gave my mum a ring that bent to its breaking point, and my mum never removed it. We moved into our big house at Lekki, she never changed it. Until one day after we moved into our estate or before( sometime ago), my daddy changed it completely and they still together after 22 years ( now thats marriage for better or for worse). I never knew the size of a ring mattered except a symbol of two people’s Union and proof for all to see. So to me ” wanna be materialist woman” I never noticed it until social media rave about it. Now I need my own biggest finest diamond.

  2. SS

    April 25, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    My ring is small,but I care less,what matters to me is my peace of mind in marriage?,if Ie boo gets a bigger one,so be it I shall flaunt it…..after all lots of beautiful successful women waiting on love to come their way and have a ring on it,I have one and a great boo and ultimately peace of mind in the marriage and I would be embarrassed by small ring mba…I never think am rara

  3. Frank teacher

    April 25, 2016 at 12:06 pm

    BN , this is the American dream nah,
    Window washer fit buy that small one for Naija ?
    We’ve got big ones that look like the real thing nah. If I no tell you, you no go know.

  4. Anon

    April 25, 2016 at 12:13 pm

    All this for a ring? Well, ring size only matters to those whose recognize real diamond in the first place. People who don’t, simply don’t care. So long as the ring is fine. Currently rocking a 150 naira ring and if it was gifted me by my man, I won’t be able to tell its worth.

  5. ElessarisElendil

    April 25, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    “Since when did the size of someone’s ring become an indication of success?!”: ?????? I admit to having a dirty mind………but the amount of innuendos in this write-up is too damn high!!

    • NIRA

      April 25, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Hehehehe… naughty naughty…

    • ATL's finest

      April 25, 2016 at 2:23 pm

      Lol @ crossed my mind too???let us take our mind out of the gutter. Like one Igbo man said to years ago, why will I purchase $10,000 ring for a girl? Abeg it de-values very fast instead, I can buy her a land ( somewhere very nice in Lagos); if she sell d land five years later, that’s a major investment???. True but I can’t shout jare for these type of people.

    • ,ll]]

      April 25, 2016 at 9:00 pm

      diamonds never ‘degrade’….diamonds r forever

  6. Babebabe

    April 25, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Big or small ? The value of the ring will depreciate regardless. Focus on what matters most ?

    • Myringissmall

      April 25, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      My ring is small. It cost leboo $600 13 years ago…we were broke, fresh out of college but in love. I love my small ring and wear it with pride. Leboo offered to upgrade for out 10th anniversary but I no gree. Anyway, we had my little rock cleaned a year ago and my $600 rock is now worth $1400. It has appreciated like our love for each other. PS: gems stones and precious metals always appreciate in value.

    • boluji odufote

      April 25, 2016 at 8:26 pm

      prices are rising babe inflation and all that

    • S!

      April 25, 2016 at 2:46 pm

      The value of diamond doesn’t depreciate.

  7. nwa nna

    April 25, 2016 at 1:06 pm

    Sad times we live in when people equate the size of the rock with the level of love… Goes to show you how misplaced our priorities have become as a society at large..
    Lots of women have HUGE diamond ring and are also available hugely miserable in their marriages

  8. nnebaby

    April 25, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    dont we just know how to contradict ourselves! lol

    Be Real folks

  9. Ewurafua

    April 25, 2016 at 1:32 pm

    Truthfully speaking, a lot of the women complaining are walking around with big/ huge cubic zirconia rings, and they probably don’t even know it. If some women had their rings appraised, they may be extremely surprised ( and disappointed) by their ring’s worth.

    • adelegirl

      April 25, 2016 at 2:12 pm

      I think most of them know it actually.

    • LALALA

      April 25, 2016 at 5:14 pm

      Thank you, my rings both wedding band and engagement are a series of small diamonds that are modest but the sparkle and clarity you just know they are the real deal DIAMONDS, I prefer that over some huge tumor of a ring that is a cubic zirconia, and ,my rings always get compliments wherever I go, even a jeweler in Dubai said madam your rings are lovely, and confirmed they were real diamonds. Its not the size oh that matters rather have a nice modest sparkly read deal diamond ring than some rock made of cubic zirconia.

  10. chi-e-z

    April 25, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    aww the story is just 2 awesome.when you know you know that’s what I want 2 meet and just know and few weeks later we elope no one else just me nd him 🙂

  11. babebabe

    April 25, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    check out bibiana yettys vlog, you would love it . Centered around Christ 🙂 i want love like this 🙂
    youtube.com/watch?v=uUkZro_dYXI

  12. Hadassah

    April 25, 2016 at 2:42 pm

    Personally, I do not give a damn about rings….because I do not like them 🙂
    I would prefer a cute car (Benz, Rolls Royce or BMW) or be gifted a land in Lagos (Island only) along with the proposal…
    hahahahahahahaha…. I know am a thief right…
    On a serious note… I just dont care about rings…

    • Sugar

      April 25, 2016 at 5:15 pm

      Of course i’m glad u accepted you are a thief. Your mouth is wide!!!

    • sane

      April 28, 2016 at 6:46 pm

      dont like rings. Dont even wear sef scept once in a while and i take it off after a couple of hours. would prefer a land or car biko

  13. Call Me Gorgeous...

    April 25, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    Unfortunately for me, i do care about rings…that is the only item I think i can allow le boo lavish on for our wedding preparation and the logic behind this for me is simple: my diamond ring/band is probably the only “item”” i will take home with me…the decor, the wedding gown, etc will be a mirage after the wedding ceremony.

    The very few guys i have dated know i appreciate a very solid diamond ring and I have never been shy to voice out my opinion in that aspect 🙂

    I don’t even mind giving up having a large wedding ceremony so that le boo can afford it..i am that realistic…

    Hopefully I get my wish…lol

    • LALALA

      April 25, 2016 at 5:09 pm

      Guess that’s why they dated you and did not marry you.

    • o

      April 26, 2016 at 4:41 am

      Choi!! You take style harsh ooo…

  14. LALALA

    April 25, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    I totally agree with her. The size of the ring does not determine the success of a marriage, How many tumors have we seen on here yet the lavish weddings held in Dubai and else where don’t even last a year? Its not by how big or how lavish that determines the success of a marriage,

  15. my story

    April 25, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    I totally can relate to the authors story. I met my husband now 1st year of uni, our love grew but we didn’t get engaged until 8/9years later. He bought the ring he could afford at the time which I stare at and still think the clarity is amazing!

    He has offered to upgrade my ring as God has blessed us and we have grown however, I look at my ring and it humbles me. Its part of our story and will always remind me of where God has brought us from so I am not keen on an upgrade.

    At work, I stare at my brit colleagues and some of them don’t even have engagement rocks, just the band and I envy the simplicity. Life isn’t all about material items as we all know and I won’t hate people judging or favouring me because of what they think i’m worth but this is my story!

    • my story

      April 25, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      *would

  16. Ainvar

    April 25, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    That ring is small? It seems perfect to me. And beautiful. I generally don’t like rings, but I would take a tiny diamond loaded with meaning and sentiment over a huge rock for show anyday.

  17. MC

    April 25, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    This ring is small?!?
    It’s even bigger than my ideal ring!

  18. Gorgeous

    April 25, 2016 at 7:37 pm

    I flip flop between a big rock and a modest one. To be honest I want a medium sized one. Cause a big one would be hard to wear everyday. I am not crazy about big wedding though. But a lovely ring would be nice

  19. boluji odufote

    April 25, 2016 at 8:28 pm

    all you guys going on about ring gem sizes what about those whop don’t believe in jewelry or a piece of material thing meaning so much is their marriage worth any less?

  20. Moxie

    April 26, 2016 at 7:24 am

    For some of us, getting married will do. Even if the ring is woven from flowers.

    • LALALA

      April 26, 2016 at 11:27 am

      Aww may God bless you with a spouse to love, respect and cherish you, and may you have a blessed fruitful marriage, Amen,

  21. Hadassah

    April 26, 2016 at 10:27 am

    Hahahahahaha…….

  22. Lonely Girl...

    April 27, 2016 at 11:37 am

    Kai… “eni lori ko ni fila, eni ni fia ko ni ori.” Translation ( He that has a head has no crown, he that has crown, has no head.) …

    Things I would do to have my own man. Diamond is cool but if he loves me genuinely, hardworking and loves God, I am contended. Anyone who looks and my hand and uses that as a yardstick to judge me is wasting his or her own time.

    Baba God, Please pick up pick up

  23. Mz Titilitious

    April 27, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    na wa o…. i didnt know before that the size of a ring determines how expensive it is but now i do. I would prefer a small ring tho they look cuter than big ones.

  24. Allforring

    April 29, 2016 at 2:10 am

    Size does not necessarily determine the cost of a ring. In addition to the size, you need to factor the cut, color, clarity. So a half carat ring could very well be more expensive than a 1 carat if the quality of the smaller diamond is better.

    Before I got engaged I cared about size of the rock but my fiance was bent on getting the best quality and clarity of diamond even if it meant something smaller. I love my ring and the man behind it.

    Size of ring does not determine size of happiness so let’s focus more on increasing the size of our happiness. That goes a long way

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