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Aunty Bella: Miss. 3 Tough Choices on How to Spend 1M Naira Savings

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dreamstime_m_72011038Aunty Bella is our  agony aunt column on BellaNaija. We launched this column in the early days of BN and periodically feature issues sent in by BN readers.We hope the BN family can offer insightful advice.

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Hello, I have about 1 million Naira saved and I am confused on what to do. Because of the peculiarity of my situation, I can’t think rationally and I would appreciate if I read from someone else.
Should I:

1. Freeze my eggs;
2. Get a PhD in a Nigerian University; or,
3. Go on a vacation?

I have stage 4 endometriosis which is tied to infertility. It is the most severe and has spread to some other organs. I am a 30 year old and not in any relationship at the moment.

At the same time, I have been through a lot recently. A family member has a terminal illness and there’s been a divorce in the family. Me too have been in the hospital a couple of times. I’ve had some emergency admissions and one surgery. I don’t have friends/a social life (because of school/work) and I would love to cross out something from my bucket list, on vacation. Lastly, I recently picked up interest in a particular (very, very, lucrative) topic in my field that I would like to develop a career from. What should I do?

Photo Credit: Andrii Kobryn | Dreamstime.com

37 Comments

  1. Mawi

    November 2, 2016 at 11:55 am

    My opinion: if having kids is very important to you, then freeze the eggs. If you are employed or engaged in business, u will raise more money to achieve the others. There are no time restraints on those two.
    Truly sorry for your family & health challenges. May God heal all your troubles.
    Meanwhile, please how does this egg freezing work? Is it done in Nigeria & where exactly? Any help anyone? Thanks.

  2. bree

    November 2, 2016 at 11:59 am

    hi,depends on how old you are,if u are in your early/mid 20s then pls invest it for one more year. do quadrant/binary options or invest with a financial institution for at least one more year. i did binary recently and i’m not regretting it sister.

    • Anon

      November 2, 2016 at 12:15 pm

      Somewhere up there – “I am a 30 year old and not in any relationship at the moment.”

      I agree with your comment. Roll it over…

    • ceee

      November 2, 2016 at 12:21 pm

      Hi Anon, Please connect with me on [email protected]. I have stage 4 endo too

    • Asa

      November 2, 2016 at 12:16 pm

      But shey she said she was 30.

      Well, I definitely won’t say pursue a PhD with your money. If you want a PhD really badly, apply to oyibo universities for full scholarship. Just sit down on google and look for who is offering. For you to be contemplating PhD, you sabi book so use the knowledge to get scholarship outside naija. With the scholarship out of Naija, you go go vacation in that country join! Scholarship PhD + vacation.

      Now do you REALLY want kids? As in would you be unhappy if you didn’t have mini-mes running around? Oya use your money and freeze your eggs. If you don’t absolutely want kids, save your 1m,

      Finally, where are you located? If you throw in location and an email address, you could find friends or at least people to talk to.

    • Amaa

      November 2, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      Universities in Germany offer free education. I know Europe is in crises now but getting into school will give you Acess to boarderless travel plus updated research on endo so use one stone to kill all of the above

    • jay

      November 2, 2016 at 5:06 pm

      Hi Bree, pls can you live information about the binary option you are into pls.

    • Dee

      November 3, 2016 at 12:37 am

      What company did you invest with pls and what’s the interest rate like?

  3. cdc

    November 2, 2016 at 12:04 pm

    Please this is my exact condition, stage 4 endo too and no serious relationship and I want a baby like yesterday. At times, I think about getting artificially inseminated but I can’t put a child through that stigma especially in Nigeria. The rate at which marriages are breaking up these days scares me from Marriage… abi is there any available serious man that wants a baby mama

    • cdc

      November 2, 2016 at 12:07 pm

      Poster you can contact me on [email protected], would like to talk to a fellow endo sister

    • yinks

      November 3, 2016 at 2:48 am

      Hit me up @cdc don’t mind being your baby daddy

  4. Flexe

    November 2, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    Better thank God you’ve even saved upto a million naira and do what makes you happy, gives you peace of mind. You now carry this kind of indecision to Aunt Bella, na wa o!

    • Lala

      November 2, 2016 at 12:13 pm

      It is obvious you did not read the post. Smh

  5. Nahum

    November 2, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Oh you poor thing!!! It sounds like you have a job, so I believe that if you want to have kids in the future, then freeze your eggs. A PhD is only useful if you want to go into academia and please don’t waste it on a vacation. Weigh your options carefully and decide based on what will give you the utmost satisfaction in the long run. Take care dear

  6. tunmi

    November 2, 2016 at 12:36 pm

    Take a vacation first , look for a quality PhD program in that field. As per eggs, you didn’t tell us whether you even want kids. Also that terminal illness a family member has, is it genetic?

  7. Sonia Paloma

    November 2, 2016 at 12:49 pm

    With the kind of situation you are in at the moment. My advice for you is to go on a vacation (i am assuming you have a job and will continue making money). Honey, nothing is guaranteed in this life., but i can assure you that memories/good experience along with change in environment with a beautiful view to wake up to has a positive impact on your health and mind. You forget about your worries for a while and live in that beauty mother nature has blessed us with (I will advise you go to an island, like Mauritius) . you will come back refreshed with more strength and thoughts on how to face challenges. In most cases, you might even get to realize that, that huge stressor is not as huge as you think it is because you have had time to connect with your mind. Alot of us take for granted what a vacation/different environment does to the health.

    That is just my advice (from experience), it is left for you to decide what matters most to you. Wishing you Gods strength and i am so sorry for your loss.

  8. Marks

    November 2, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Freeze.your eggs. Striving to have kids in Nigeria is extremely devastating, emotionally. Nigerians are very nosy people and the pressure can be very much on women..My.wife.was always crying because of the external pressure…Plus you aint getting any younger at 30 and the fertility curve will continue to drop so freeze it now.

  9. john

    November 2, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    my advise is to freeze ur eggs but how much is for freezing eggs ?

    @bree and please explain more on quadrant/binary option..I have 10 million I want to invest ( believe it or not)..I have the same dilemma. .explain more.pls let it not be MMM

    • Mama

      November 2, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      Seconded! Can we hear what this investment is all about? please.

    • Staphylococcus aureus

      November 2, 2016 at 2:20 pm

      Dear John,
      Are you single? If yes drop a line under mine..cheers

    • john

      November 2, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      lol..u better run..or havent you heard, according to BN women..I am a mysognistic ,sexist ,nigerian man who hates online keyboard feminist warriors

    • Yvonne

      November 2, 2016 at 2:45 pm

      babes is it the 10m?
      you will be alright so gbo.

    • Tixe

      November 2, 2016 at 2:47 pm

      All of you asking if people are single in the comments based of the perceived intelligence of their comments need to chill. Is being single the only characteristic that matters? What if he has severe halitosis or body odor? What if he indulges in recreational drugs? What if he has an untreatable STD? You people should be careful oo before you’ll come and start sending your own dear Anty Bella letters later.

    • Huh?

      November 3, 2016 at 8:49 am

      Staphylococcus aureus you dey harsh oh? You self go date person when im name na Staphylococcus aureus?

    • kenny

      January 7, 2017 at 11:08 am

      Am a lady of over thirty need this platform to get into a relationship with a serious minded man.if there is any connect through my mail . tnx

    • Marlvina

      November 2, 2016 at 2:49 pm

      Lmao @ MMM

  10. Marlvina

    November 2, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    My advice to the young lady. I really pray God answers all your heart desires. I can tell how passionate you are to achieve all you’ve stated. First things first, it would be a good idea going for the option of freezing your eggs, considering your medical condition. However, you’re still young and hardworking, even at 40, I’ve seen women put to bed. At age 30, your eggs are still very much fertile. I would prefer you still save up some lil more money and later freeze the eggs and probably have your dream vacation. Rather than spend the N1m now. Plus this our recession hmm. You’l be fine dear and you will have the children you so desire. Just leave that to God.

  11. Staphylococcus aureus

    November 2, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    Tixie,
    Shut up, the said John knew it was a joke. Why can’t you figure that out too you moron?

    • Tixe

      November 2, 2016 at 6:03 pm

      It’s ok to be embarsssed by your misstep. Said John politely rejected your un-funny offer so now you want to save face by saying it’s a joke. Well if it was a joke, it fell very flat and only made you seem thirsty. Also, using insulting terms only shows how butt hurt you are that I called you out on your bull. I am done entertaining you, when you learn how to intelligently respond to criticism, let’s chat again. Ciao!

    • Staphylococcus aureus

      November 2, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      Hello fool, Tixe of course…. I don’t owe you an interaction. If I. Were serious with the said john, I’d have dropped my contact details , you swine but now you know , run off mate.
      Auf wiedersehen !!

  12. Staphylococcus aureus

    November 2, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    Tixe or whatever

  13. Been There

    November 2, 2016 at 4:39 pm

    Please freeze your eggs even though nobody can guarantee you 100% that it will result in kids. At least know you gave yourself a chance. I was diagnosed with ovarian failure at 25- the signs were there for a whole year before and my father offered to pay and I refused. I was blessed enough to meet a man at 28 who loved me and was ok with not having kids. After 3 months of marriage he agreed to have one child and an egg donor…. Two IVF cycles later we have triplets who are 5 years old now. I love my children with all my heart, but maybe once a week I rememberthey are from donor material. I went and delivered them in america so as to remove ever the need for a DNA test or such things for any purpose. God bless the donor as she was annonymous. And before anybody says we played God, we are happy with our decisionand feel beyond blessed.

    All those 20 yrs of no babies and then twins stories by Nigerians usually involve assisted fertility and many times donor material (egg or sperm). Our judgemental society wont let people be honest. If you own genertic material is an option, always opt for that first and please use a European clinic before the ones in Naija will tell you there was no diesel for gen so storage wwsnt guaranteed.

  14. Icrossmyheart

    November 2, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    I am sorry to hear about this. But the good news is that you are alive and hopefully, very well.

    My advice:

    1. Take a vacation. There is nothing like it. But you did not mention where you would like to go. If it is South Africa, you can spend 200,000 naira. If it is Tunisia, Morocco, etc. Or Europe, it will cost you more. Perhaps go when ticket sales are low and you can do Air bnb instead of paying a lot for a hotel room. Vacation helps one to relax very well and gives us the ability to think clearly.

    2. Freeze eggs if after your vacation you have decided having children is what you truly want. By the way, you can start a gofundme account. Explain your story. There will be a lot of money left after your vacation depending where you choose to go on vacation.

    3. In most universities abroad, PhD is free. So Id advise you pursue that. Now if you choose this route, it will take care of vacation and freezing of your eggs. You wont spend on vacation because you can travel from there and it will not be as costly. Also, with the sophisticated medical facilities there, you can freeze your eggs. This is option, I believe is the best option.

  15. ATL's finest

    November 3, 2016 at 2:20 am

    Awww dear writer sorry for your illness. Well I will say freeze your eggs if 1M will do it.. Nevertheless, vacation will ALWAYS be there. It seems like U are going through a lot with FAM issues as well. May the lord be with U

  16. Papermoon

    November 3, 2016 at 10:14 am

    A prayer of healing for you………..

  17. Iphie

    November 4, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    @John and others who may be interested in investment, There are lots of real estate investment s and other coded investments which will make you smile to the bank.
    Want to know more then send a mail to [email protected]

  18. East Prince

    November 21, 2016 at 3:34 am

    Ohh well nobody wants to tell u? try MMM with 300k n let’s see how it goes. u could finally actually do all after a few months..

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