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When a Man is the Victim of Domestic Violence – A Twitter User’s Story

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A male Twitter user Rosanwo (@rosanwo) has narrated how he suffered verbal and physical abuse in the hands of his spouse and his in-laws.

See tweets below:

He also shared screenshots of a conversation between him and his wife.

He also shared more details:

While some Twitter users have asked him to stop, saying Twitter is not the place to share stories like this, others disagreed, saying that he can find help and succour on Twitter.

The latter group also asserted that his move can also motivate other men who are facing similar situation cry out and not literally die in silence.

Domestic Violence, no matter the gender of the victim must be condemned, and we hope the case is solved and he gets the appropriate help he needs.

43 Comments

  1. Jide

    January 31, 2017 at 10:32 am

    Kudos to him for speaking up.

    • Bleed Blue

      January 31, 2017 at 11:28 am

      Kudos for real! I wish I could hug this brother!

      I’m so proud of him for taking this rather bold step, especially with the way society is ready to label a man on matters such as these.

      Adewale, if you’re reading this, and all you say here is the truth, then I am so sorry and hope you get the justice you deserve (and what the heck with the in-laws adding salt to the wounds?!!!).
      I also hope you get the absolute reciprocity of love that you deserve…I mean just look at the email from your wife, testifying to your fine character.

      God bless you man!

  2. Leke

    January 31, 2017 at 10:33 am

    Wow. This life is crazy. Rosanwo the time keeper, FGC odogbolu. Always gist my wife about this guy n he is going thru this, baba if you read this n you need character witnesses, boys full ground. I will pass this on to awon boys. Hit me up

  3. Sonia Paloma

    January 31, 2017 at 10:33 am

    Well done for speaking out.
    In the UK whereby the women have so much right, I am glad you have receipts for all the fury that has been unleashed on you and I hope she is dealt with accordingly

  4. Cmbo

    January 31, 2017 at 11:01 am

    Aaww. this breaks my heart. glad you came out of it, you deserve to be happy.

  5. Rrrrrrr

    January 31, 2017 at 11:01 am

    I am so sad for you Adewale but am glad you are speaking up. God be with you and may you find forgiveness in your heart and the willpower to move on without any grudge. Plenty e-hugs dude

  6. DR BEE.

    January 31, 2017 at 11:16 am

    Wow….i remember he used to buy scotch egg/ groundnut for me at the co-operative store at FGC odogbolu back in d days…it was a big deal then…cant believe he is going through all this..

  7. Big Tee

    January 31, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Nigerian-British or Nigerian-Irish babes, only God can help a man with SOME of them o, I am not generalizing, but most ladies (and guys) in this categories are usually tigers, they don’t care if the house burns just to prove a point…… After my experience during my Uni days in the U.K, I learned how to swim in the pond where I belong….. but I’ll be willing to hear from the other side before I make any conclusion sha…..

  8. Fifi

    January 31, 2017 at 11:18 am

    And where is the ex wife’s response? Or you going to pretend you didnt see that. There is his truth, her truth, the truth and Gods truth. Stop being biased

    • Iris

      January 31, 2017 at 11:51 am

      I don’t understand what you’re saying. Because she said she loves him, does that make the abuse better? That is a classic speech from an abuser. A man hitting a woman can also say he loves her. In fact, many do. Whether or not it’s true is irrelevant. Of what use is her love for him if he ends up dead by her hand? Abeg it is time for him to exit, and if social media is the only way he knows how to take the first step, so be it.

    • AceOfSpades

      January 31, 2017 at 1:48 pm

      You might be right Fifi but don’t try to do like women aren’t guilty of violence. We have so many cases of maids being manhandled by who? Yes women most especially!

      They do this because they know they are physically stronger or have physical advantage over the maid. If women were physically as strong as men, the DV cases against men will be just as bad. Don’t focus on men alone in the fight against DV. It’s a general thing that has been planted in most Nigerians while growing up.

      Men are not saints and women aren’t too…..

  9. Udegbunam Chukwudi

    January 31, 2017 at 11:21 am

    Thunder fire those saying “Twitter is not the place to share stories like this,” THUNDER FIRE ALL OF UNA. ???? You all might as well start telling rape victims and female victims of domestic violence to shut the fuck up and manage their trauma privately. When he goes batshit crazy one day and the woman doesn’t make it, na una go enter social media crucifying the poor man.

    Stories like this help people know that they are not alone and that they can speak out and get help! Not everyday Men are scum! Women too can be scum!

    I really pray he finds the light and moves on completely from this to a better life IJN.

  10. Mawi

    January 31, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Who are the ones telling him to keep quiet? Na so una go dey do, till person die.
    Men. Women. Anyone going through abuse should speak up! You can’t get help nor strength to move on if you remain in silence. Some men would rather let their ego destroy them by keeping quiet. Some women, all in a bid to remain ‘Mrs’, will rather die there.
    Please people, there are others willing to help & love you the right way. Leave abusive people to their demons oo!!

    • tunmi

      January 31, 2017 at 5:49 pm

      thank you!! Let people talk, let them share.

  11. Mama

    January 31, 2017 at 11:52 am

    Violence should never be tolerated whether it is from a man or woman. Brother, it is good left. I hope and pray you heal emotionally and move on. You definitely deserve better.

  12. Papacy

    January 31, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Just the other day I saw the video of the lady hitting a gym instructor and today this. I keep wondering if i’m the only one who has met good and kind hearted men. I have a female colleague who brags to us how she breaks every glassware at home when she’s annoyed with her husband but will be the first to tell you how patient he is with her and her attitude. The man still comes to beg and pick her from work everyday. God will help us.

  13. Paul Adeyemo

    January 31, 2017 at 12:20 pm

    Where are the feminist on BN. Waoh. Women if given the physical power of men will do worse. Classic case is the way they treat their maids.

    • Adunnie

      January 31, 2017 at 1:45 pm

      Oh please shut it. What does feminism have to do with violent women? You always know how to talk off point. Address the issue and don’t bring feminism into everything. A bad woman is a bad woman. Regardless if she’s a feminst or not. For all we know the woman in question may not even be a feminist.
      @rosanwo I hail you for speaking up. You’ve been dealing with a manipulative woman who is incapable of showing you love. How do you love someone and hurt them constantly. She’s an abuser and should be brought to book. I hope justice prevails. And the whole mother-in-law part…*sigh*….. Take care of yourself and son and may God send you your own wife.

    • Chief

      January 31, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      @Adunnie.Oh yeah i see!! you are one of those.Listen!!Because feminism is a truly ugly ideology encouraging victimization,blame,hate and also portrays men as evil oppressors.Feminists demonstrably ignore male victims of abuse(verbal and physical) from women.Feminism has emasculated men,it’s taking away men masculinity.You feminists have all become nothing but bunch of control freaks.Feminism is a travesty used by manipulative women to degrade men,they used it to bully,humiliate and emasculate men and this nonsense is condone and upheld by our society especially western society.

      This is what happens when you give women power.I have been saying this “Women are violent in nature” and more vicious,they can inflict serious injury on a man.They are likely to use weapons.Many men are raised to believe that a man does not raise a hand to a woman and some are conditioned by the society.Many women take advantage of that,seeing it as a sign of weakness in him.I think male domestic violence in many cases is hidden to a degree from society as it is still a stigma like mental illness.This is typical feminist rhetoric.The facts feminists cheer on your thinking that women are justified in striking men but when reversed it’s considered misogyny is proof of how destructive and fascist feminism is.

      Moral of the story, if the corruption of the domestic violence industry created by feminism has taught us one thing it is that women victim narrative is always the most powerful.

    • Adunnie

      January 31, 2017 at 4:32 pm

      @chief one of what???? LMAO!!! this post has nothing to do with feminisim so I dont even understand why you’ve come to put mouth. Abeg baba swerve. Just look at all the silly accusations you’ve made. Please there’s a huge difference between feminists and men-haters. Not all feminists hate men. So don’t generalize. Who has time for *emasculating” men as you put it? Whether you jump on the band wagon or not the world is evolving and making room for women folk to be seen and heard more. Whether you like it or not most women have gotten to the point where they know they can do and be anything. If that upsets you so much you might as well retire and go live in a cave. Hate feminists all you want it will never stop the movement. So please carry your accusations and anger and direct them at men-haters.

  14. Jefka

    January 31, 2017 at 12:22 pm

    Hi Adewale, I am sending you e hugs filled with plenty of genuine love.
    If you are reading this and you need a friend, please drop your contact.

    • Chief

      January 31, 2017 at 5:24 pm

      @Adunnie.You attacked Paul Adeyemo when he pointed out the hypocrisy of feminists on this issue(Male DV).FYI,there’s no difference between feminists and men-haters.Feminism is an inherently misandrist ideology.as demonstrated by the balatant man hating language that your movement constantly spew.

      BTW what exactly,i wonder do feminists fight for? What freedom do you not posses? The answers,there are none.Women have had it for decades now what more do you want?No matter how loud y’all scream equality,this will remain a fact,this feminism is something that tries to give women power over men.You hypocrites have female domestic violence to the front stage and left men behind.No,we need to work on both issues,equal protection,Where’s the outrage over t male domestic violence?

  15. Paul Adeyemo

    January 31, 2017 at 12:31 pm

    I can never pity any woman who claims victim of domestic violence unless I know your story personally. I just read on Linda Ikeji that this guys wife first accused him of domestic violence. Thank God it is UK and not Nigeria, police cannot be bribed to sway evidence. Marriage is grossly overrated. Am sure that guy married into a very rich Nigerian family and the in-law believes that their daughter married a nobody, how can a mum in law slap the son in law like that. When women cry of domestic violence, don’t always jump into conclusion believing them. Some of these women are evil

    • Pop

      January 31, 2017 at 2:50 pm

      Hey Paul,

      SHUT UUUUUP!!!!!

  16. Idak

    January 31, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    Where are the MEN ARE SCUM gang? Generalizations are harming domestic violence on both sides.

    Rosanwo, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your soon to be ex-wife and your boys.
    Grace, mercy and strength to all involved

  17. Yahoo

    January 31, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    That is a man, not just a man, a REAL MAN!, patient and well cultured if the DV allegations made by him is true. God knows if a peepsqueak of a mother in law dare to slap me i would over stamp her face with hot resounding slaps and blows, not to talk of stabbing me, if she dare to stab me i will do horrid and horrible things to her all the court of law in the world will reject me. If she slaps me 18 times and I get a spine shift, ??????

  18. Catherine

    January 31, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    My prayers are with you and your boys, and I pray healing and restoration over your lives. Men face not only physical abuse, but emotional as well with the kind of stabbing words spewed out by angry women. Father, help us guard our tongues and control our tempers so that we do not destroy with them in Jesus mighty name. Abeg, the woman must face the due punishment and hopefully during that time be delivered of this winch spirit.

  19. Idak

    January 31, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    @BN, kindly search on twitter for the detailed response of the lady herself. I have just spent time reading them all including court documents.
    I will advise that we all stop commenting on this issue as it is a case of 3 truths. His, hers and the real truth. Seems we have a case of two manipulative individuals.
    Reading the history of their relationship, it is obvious the foundation was faulty. My wishes are with them and prayers for the little boy caught in the middle.

    • Sultana

      January 31, 2017 at 6:15 pm

      Thanks idak for retracting. Just read both accounts and they both clearly have issues. He married for papers and she made his life hell. Cunny man die cunny man bury am. Pity the kid.

  20. omooba

    January 31, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    If all this guy has said is true, I pray for him to be healed and for him to get justice. DV is unacceptable, no matter the victim’s gender. Rosanwo, you have done the right thing. Always remember you are a survivor, others did not survive.

  21. LL

    January 31, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    This is sad and it’s a good thing he is speaking up. I’ve always wondered how to judge domestic violence cases such that innocent men will not be held liable when they are accused unjustly. In the midst of ‘men are scum’ , ‘all men cheat’, ‘Nigerian men are useless’ etc, it’s easy to forget that there are good men suffering in the hands of terrible women. Th constant men bashing also leaves many women treating their husbands terribly as honest mistakes are seen as major cases and issues that can be resolved easily explode. Anyone can be a victim and as you ask yourself if you’re victim, also ask yourself if you’re making a victim of someone else.

  22. Madman

    January 31, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    I know this guy well, very well and I can say that they are both very manipulative people. Almost fell for his trap, but if not for God.

    He must have promised her heaven on earth and he didn’t deliver because he’s broke as shit.

    • seriously

      January 31, 2017 at 4:10 pm

      You are truly a madman. So, because he promised her heaven and couldn’t deliver. He deserves physical and verbal abuse. Just shut up. No matter what the woman says she’s guilty of domestic violence, it doesn’t matter what personal thing led to it.

      I give credit to this man. Many men suffer in the hands of jezebel women especially in the U.S and U.K because they know the system favors them.
      It’s clear the woman knows she has major problem and has a good man who tolerates her.

    • ogeAdiro

      January 31, 2017 at 5:33 pm

      Not surprised. Most people deserve what they get in this life, whether man or woman.

  23. Teju TJ

    January 31, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    BN, post his wife’s response. They seem like two manipulative people but that is really none of my business. In some cases, there are 40 sides to the truth…

  24. Corolla

    January 31, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    Many Nigerian men do not speak up about DV, for the fear of being labeled weak. I personally know two cases where the women being the aggressors, but everyone thought it was the men hitting them. If this man had retaliated, he would have gone to jail and no one would care to know that the woman started it and he was merely protecting himself. So glad he is shedding the cloak of shame and speaking out against the horrible monster he married.

  25. Nne

    January 31, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    I remember reading the wife’s post on Twitter accusing him of all sorts almost a year ago. I am glad I didn’t jump into the fray and I truly feel for the children. I hope all involved get tyenmuch needed counselling they all sound like they need.

  26. Hmmmmmmmmmmm….deep

  27. Ajala & Foodie

    January 31, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    Did everyone miss where the guy wrote his MIL wanted to stab HER OWN daughter!!! He had to step in, hence the 18 slaps. I understand the focus is on the guy but for a mother to break a mirror to miam her own child…doesn’t that tell us there is a history of violence with this family?? That is some scary things!!!

    • Mawi

      January 31, 2017 at 5:45 pm

      Yup! History of violence. The daughter most likely grew up watching her mum act that way so she imbibed same, albeit subconsciously. Many people are simply products of their upbringing. So sad.

  28. Oluwatosin

    January 31, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    Yorubas will say eni o lori oni fila… Life sha.. Its in two faces… Domestic violence hmmmm. It is well

  29. WhenMenLie

    January 31, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    I find it hard to believe that a 30year old woman would abuse a 37 year old GROWN man. This guy makes too much noise on Twitter. He’s no victim abeg.

  30. Beyonce

    February 1, 2017 at 1:07 am

    ….thunder fire that woman and her mom for all the maltreatment on this cute lad…

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