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“Your problem is not the next chick but lack of self-love” – Sonia Ogbonna



Motivational blogger Sonia Ogbonna shared her thoughts on women having to fight other women to keep their men.

According to her, if a man truly loves you he will never put you in such a situation.

She posted a quote on Instagram and captioned:

Half of your life you worry about finding a man that will marry you, second half of your life you anxiously and desperately worry about other ladies snatching your man away. Is that one life? When you start seeing every other woman out there as a threat, best believe that has nothing to do with them, but with a nature of your relationship with your “man”. We have been brainwashed through generations with false beliefs that make us think and act like it’s better to be humiliated, depressed and bitter in a relationship/marriage then single but happy and in peace . Baby, you can’t force or COMPETE for Love or live in constant fear of not being good enough, correct enough, sexy enough, interesting enough – a woman enough. Your problem is not the next chick, but lack of self-love, self-awareness, self-investment and disability of understanding your own worth and power you pose as a woman and that is what keeps you settling and tolerating miserable treatments. Good, healthy and loving relationship is not meant for “lucky few” but for those who are bold enough to move away from bitterness and frustration while not settling for nonsense in the name of tradition or “what will people say”. From the bottom of my heart I pray you stop with self-pity and understand the worth of a Queen that you actually are. BOSS UP! You are ENOUGH. You are a blessing. And remember, they will treat you bad only if YOU allow them.

Photo Credit: Instagram – @sonialareinaa


  1. Ada

    June 15, 2017 at 6:45 am

    Well said

  2. Victor Adegoke

    June 15, 2017 at 7:30 am

    True Words!

  3. Aiden Wilson

    June 15, 2017 at 8:30 am

    lol who you won dey educate about self love, abeg keep your pathetic opinion to your self and focus on your nonsense of a marriage..

    • Sakura

      June 15, 2017 at 9:03 am

      Ahn ahn Aiden Wilson, why?

    • tunmi

      June 15, 2017 at 1:55 pm

      I’m sending hugs and kisses your way

    • caramel chic

      June 15, 2017 at 2:21 pm

      I love haters like you @Aiden Wilson. I can tell you have a very unhappy life. Pele. Share your story so BN readers like us can help you.

  4. Maxie

    June 15, 2017 at 8:33 am

    Am Loving this girl everyday. She makes mad sense. IK is one lucky dude. Beauty and brain combined. Thumps up sugar baby

  5. Abena

    June 15, 2017 at 9:11 am


  6. beauty with brain

    June 15, 2017 at 9:14 am

    Wow!!! I didn’t know this until now…incredible never-heard before deeply thought opinions…sonia you just saved womanhood!!! You are so smart

    • Bimbo

      June 15, 2017 at 7:03 pm

      There are loads of women who need this advice – You might not need it so keep quiet and keep it moving.

  7. Las

    June 15, 2017 at 10:30 am


  8. Majestic

    June 15, 2017 at 10:55 am

    Nice one Mrs ogbona.

  9. debby

    June 15, 2017 at 11:57 am

    nice one.
    @ Aiden Wilson, what did she do to you. Is this advise not good enough to wise up?
    Na wah for you oo

  10. tell em

    June 15, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    her husband manages her account well.. she harps on this relationship /marriage matter a lot

  11. slice

    June 15, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Men also guard their women from other men coming in. But women tend to be more expressive of their fear if losing their marriage.

  12. Jide

    June 15, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    She talks too much…too much crap she talks.

    • caramel chic

      June 15, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      @jide why is it crap mr ‘Jide’ because your mother taught you that women should keep everything quiet abi?

    • Jide

      June 16, 2017 at 12:24 am

      Ode. I am Ms. Ayomijide

  13. tunmi

    June 15, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    How did she and IK meet?

    • caramel chic

      June 15, 2017 at 2:23 pm

      @tunmi and it matters because? You and your partner met the perfect way abi? mtchew blood suckers of life.

  14. Theresa Doghor

    June 15, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    Haters are going to hate!
    Just do you!!!

  15. mimi

    June 15, 2017 at 6:24 pm

    The fundamental point to make away with is this, you don’t need anyone affection or approval to be good enough. When you have a need, their is often fear associated with that need that leaves you lost on its disintegration. When your love is wrapped in fear than that relationship do not stand a chance. Your relationship should get the freedom of being about joy and not fear. I always ask my self in my marriage, its my love an expression of freedom, joy or a mask of my insecurities/fear. Have a good day people.

  16. Baby gurl

    June 15, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    I really love Sonia. Seeing her for the first time you would think she’s just a dumb airhead lucky to have got good genes with all them beautiful features and that tight fit bod. But damn she’s intelligent. Her old blogposts are gold. Her IG is amazeballs. IK is one lucky man. As the Bible says, he who finds a (good) wife (sure as hell) finds a good thing!!! Sonia if you are reading this please start a youtube relationship vlog plzzzz. I’ve left a couple of comments on your IG about this. Please please we the fans need it! Biko nu nwanyi oma. Kisses.

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