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“I don’t believe Nigerian men are romantic” as “no one pushes them to fight for anything” – Simi

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"I don't believe Nigeria men are romantic" as "no one pushes them to fight for anything" - Simi

Simi

X3M songbird Simi has said that she doesn’t believe Nigerian men are romantic, adding that she thinks it’s because “no one pushes Nigerian men to fight for anything so they have this sense of entitlement.”

Simi, who just released her album “Simisola,” spoke to PUNCH‘s Saturday Beats.

“I don’t believe Nigerian men are romantic. I think Nigerian men do not think they have to be romantic. I am not saying this to bash men but I think no one pushes Nigerian men to fight for anything so they have this sense of entitlement.

I was watching a Nigerian movie one day and there was this unfaithful Nigerian man who left his wife for another woman. At the end of the day, the other woman left him and he retraced his steps to his initial wife. The lady’s mother actually told her to kneel in front of the man and that bothered me a lot even though I knew it was a movie. That is the way things are.

A lot of men grow up in this country feeling entitled to certain things and they believe that they don’t have to work for anything. This has been the case for generations and a lot of our mothers were unhappy because the society expected them to stay in the relationship.

I am not saying it is the right thing for people to leave their relationships but a man needs to fight for what he wants so he can value it. I think the problem is because a lot of Nigerian men feel self-entitled and I blame our culture and our mothers. Most mothers are the problem because when something happens, they are quick to advise the daughter and wives, they don’t tell the men that their actions are wrong. So if a man feels that he does not have to fight to keep the relationship, he would not,” she said.

 

Have listened to her latest album? Check it out HERE.

40 Comments

  1. kenz

    September 16, 2017 at 11:59 am

    na which one una want self……. money or romance…. ? person know no again, which all this hardship wey full naija ….dis come now don caryy her own come..

    • Anulika

      September 16, 2017 at 12:19 pm

      A little bit of respect is all that’s needed.

  2. Simply_Seun

    September 16, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    neither are Naija ladies. both guilty so side shaming!

    • Simply_Seun

      September 16, 2017 at 12:57 pm

      neither are Naija ladies. both guilty, so no side shaming!

  3. Me

    September 16, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    “Fashionista” ?

  4. Jane

    September 16, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    @kenz, Your thinking is too shallow. Which one is money or romance? Who says we can’t have both. You’re the type of mam she is talking about. What she said is 10000% correct. Check how Nigerian men treat their fellow Nigerian women verses how they treat their foreign wives, its a stark contrast. We Nigerian women should put more value on ourself and its not that our mothers are wrong, the men just have to do better.

    • OJ

      September 16, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      Go and work on yourself first…you want a good man, are you a good woman?
      you want a romantic man, are you a romantic woman?
      you want a man that is financially capable, are you financially capable yourself?
      you want a provider, have you provided for yourself or can you also provide for him?
      you want a man that has a good job, do you have a good job yourself?
      you want a man that will take you on trips, do you take yourself on trips too?

      other than your beauty and body, what else do you have to offer?

      naija women always making it about themelsves since 19 gbogboro

    • Fred

      September 16, 2017 at 2:27 pm

      Lots of those foreign wives are with you out of love and not money. Wise men value such women not the ones that are with you because of what they can get from you. Why would I fight for someone that is with me because of money? So after spending money I fight too? Na. I rather put that energy into making the money while the money does the fighting. Or at best let the woman fight to be with me since she’s there for the money. You meet a Nigerian woman today and tomorrow she’s telling you to take care of one bill or the other. Only a foolish man fights for such a woman.

    • Ade

      September 16, 2017 at 11:48 pm

      Naija babes need to be more romantic, initiate it. Practice what you preach, don’t only look at men, take a look at yourself. Stop the entitlement, earn it first and it’s a two way thing. Most naija babes equate materialistic things, how successful one is to romance and love.
      Foreign babes are not better but naija babes come with extra luggages. If the babe no get wahala, her family and your family will ignite wahala. Too much wahala is recipe for a dead romance.
      My ex and I attend the same church. We are the awkward exes bcos everyone thought we would get married. But we remained friends after the breakup. I recently attended church with my girlfriend. So, my ex mentioned how differently I act now. She said, naija men are so insecure, they worship foreign women. l told her, less stress, less headache, smooth communication, not always complaining brought out my romantic side. My gf bought getaway tickets for both of us just to relax and spend time together, something my ex wouldn’t have done. She had the money but she would expect and bang my head that I should do it. She always mentioned how I needed to be more romantic but never initiated and did anything romantic.
      Different people bring out different sides. And if you don’t have it, you are willing to learn.

    • Ada_ugo

      September 17, 2017 at 5:02 am

      @Ade, you bring a very interesting perspective. Thank you!

  5. Fred

    September 16, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    Fight for what? Nigerian woman that is with you because of money? You don’t fight for gold diggers because sheei be unto the next one or even cheat on you once she sees a better offer. You can’t fight for someone that is so selfish and sees you as a means to an end.

    • Anonymous

      September 16, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      And there is no foreign woman that marry a man for his money? I am sorry for you and your shallow thinking.

    • Honestina

      September 16, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      Just when we thought we ve got rid of John, Paul and chief, another shows up.
      Tell me, are you a product of love or money? ask your mama in case you can’t answer.

    • Whyohwhy

      September 17, 2017 at 8:18 am

      So why date a gold digger to begin with?

  6. Tosin

    September 16, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    my sister 😀
    good point sha, but i believe when they know better they’ll do better.
    all they need is training 😀 😀 🙂

  7. Iyawo

    September 16, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    It really depends on what you want from a marriage
    Before we got married, I can’t tell you how many times I heard ‘Ore mi, you are really downgrading’ ‘My dear, you can do better.’ Many even insinuated that if my husband wasn’t wealthy, I wouldn’t have married him just because I’m good looking and he wouldn’t win a beauty contest. Never mind the fact that I was doing quite well for myself as a Chartered Accountant LOL. 6 years and 2 children later, my husband and I are still very much in love. Sometimes he forgets my birthday and I can count the number of times he’s bought me flowers just because. But this doesn’t make me love him any less. He meets all my emotional needs; he’s kind, he listens to me, he values my opinions, he talks to me with respect and he’s always there for me and our children. To me, that is very romantic. Some girls need flowers, love letters and chocolates everyday, other girls (like me) just want a guy who will meet all their emotional needs and love them unconditionally. My point is that there is no perfect man and if you’re getting what you need, my sister, stay put! The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

  8. oyin

    September 16, 2017 at 2:47 pm

    she is so on point!

  9. Lailatu

    September 16, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Preach sister! There’s a reason why Simi is my favorite Nigerian singer.

  10. Whoa!

    September 16, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Men have and will never know what women want. I have been in a relationship where I was mushy. I’d call to know ‘where she is, if she’s eaten so I can buy food when coming home, if she’d like some shoes one woman brought to my workplace, if she’d take a weekend course to help her career’. I call to let her know the slightest detail of any event I find myself in. I even did breakfast in bed on weekends if she sleeps over. Even when signs of cheating started showing, I didn’t even bother afterall I knew I was treating her better than most men that I know treat women but she eventually left to be with a very IG popular and rich yahoo boy.

    I have also been in a relationship where I act distant/busy. I just let the phone ring sometime without picking and sometimes I don’t call back. If she makes new hair or nails or get a new dress. I just look and smile. I don’t comment that much and I only spend when neccesary. No mushy mushy special anything and she will still die because of me and she’s the MD of a company and she’s very bossy but never to me. Now I don’t get why she’ll stay because I won’t tell a lady with my own mouth that I want to break up.

    Truth is women don’t want romantic men. They just think they do. It’s nature and I know women will disagree yeah but most girls that ever loved me deeply were those that I gave attitude. The ones I did mushy mushy for messed up.

    • Kayla

      September 18, 2017 at 11:34 am

      Ah…
      Comes Lets date, provided it is your mush part you bring on
      I am an Engineer and I make my own money and I wnt leave you for any IG popular, Yahoo boy
      heheheheheehehehe
      I am laughing so hard at myself

  11. Susie

    September 16, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    Lmao at the guy who actually believes foreign women marry Nigerian men out of love. They just hide their intentions better dear. Oh I guess that Iranian babe that married Alakija’s son & Oshiomole’s wife all married them out of ‘ true love’! hehehe. Wow, no wonder those 2 Indian girls were able to deceive so many wealthy Naija men… some of you guys are so clueless.All women want financial security in marriage even the ones who form ‘Miss Independent’.

    FYI finances are the leading cause of divorce in every country. I remember how my uncle’s oyibo British wife mysteriously fell out of love after tasting small Naija hardship! You think other women will put up with the infidelities & abuse rampant in many marriages here? No, that’s why you treat them delicately because you know in their countries they can take all your money when they divorce you!

    • ***

      September 16, 2017 at 5:12 pm

      Does that explain the 50% divorce rate in america? Then a shocking 65% among the elite 1% in america?? Cheating is rampant everywhere abeg … nigerian men are not romantic because nigerian women are not romantic too … nigerian women feel entitled to always be at the receiving end of ‘romance’ … how many nigerian women even understand the concept of romance? Everything always has to be monetary, try convincing your nigerian girl to cuddle up with you on the beach and watch the sun set or persuade her to lie on the bonnet of your car late at night and watch the stars twinkle (no expensive food o, just the scenery) or get her fresh flowers or anything of sentimental value like a framed photo of you two on a memorable date on her birthday … lol prepare for malice … it must always be something expensive, nigerian women don’t care about how thoughtful o it is how costly … money is the only romance nigerian women know o … nigerian men cut off anything fancy … nigerian women don’t mind Beyoncé performing at their wedding not because of the affectionate experience but for the bragging rights even if she overshadows them, they won’t care! Money was spent, that’s all

    • Harry

      September 18, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      Sweetheart they share bills with you. Not all you gold digging Naija girls with nothing to offer

  12. john

    September 16, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    @fred…let me also add black women treat white men better than black men..thier voice even becomes softer ….Even thier rude ,sassy behaviour automatically changes…give me a break..fake , hypocritical set of people..fish brains…I pity any black man that trust and loves a black woman..he will die young…at least with a white woman ..ure gettting a more natural and original human being..

    • oyin

      September 16, 2017 at 8:45 pm

      Who’s this lost idiot that keeps posting this, and BN leaves his comment ?

  13. LemmeRant

    September 16, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    If Nigerian men are not romantic, what is preventing you from leading the way and being romantic?

    What is stopping you from calling, taking him out. Buying him things he likes? Abi them tie you down ni?

  14. Nne

    September 16, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    John it is your mother that has that fish brain you are talking about because she is also black. Black men like you who disrespect black women are so pathetic & actually those white women you love so much laugh at you for being so desperate. I know because I work with many of such who are always sharing stories of desperate black men chasing them. And these women are fat with wrinkles but of course 99% of black men married to white women go in for such. The funny thing is that you hate black women so much but cannot stop coming to BN- a page created & run by a black woman! So I guess that makes you an insect brain? hahaha

    • john

      September 17, 2017 at 8:23 am

      @nne And these women are fat with wrinkles but of course 99% of black men marriedto white women go in for such……………keep deceiving and patting yourself in the back…u talk as if u Nigerian women are slim fit and not full of wrinkles..when majoritynof u are obese( which they idiotically call being thick, bold and beautiful) and to top it off .with that una smelly hideous weaves on ur heads and taco paint on your faces…
      I dont know about your brothers and friends but the white women u mentioned are the ones all this yahoo boys used in getting grean card and visas and money…it is business..thats is all. but even atvthey are still better than u black women….my friends that went abroad the legal way are all marring beautiful blondes…u know the likes of mikel and david oyelowo etc…why the hell would a successful black man living abroad or not go and marry a black woman ..just one reason?

  15. Californiabawlar

    September 16, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    Why is everyone equating unromantic with being a BAD husband?!
    My best friend’s husband is hands down the best husband I know within my immediate circle…but he’s unromantic af! Like for the first few years of their marriage, he was totally clueless about the entire concept of romance and vehemently fought against it. His own was to provide, be supportive, communicate and solve any problems, and he’s like what more do you need from me? ?
    But here’s the cool thing… if you married a good person, a person that likes to see you happy… with time they’ll come around… at least just a little. In their case, she lead by example, had his uncle/mentor teach him a few things, AND she’s always appreciative and encouraging of his (sometimes awkward) romantic gestures.
    She has also been encouraged to see how he is actually quite romantic in not so obvious ways. Like how he always kisses her goodbye before leaving for work and always calls during his lunch unfailingly for years now. When I visited and noticed it was like “awwww! That’s so sweet ????”… meanwhile to them, it’s just routine!
    Anyways, yes romance is a big deal, but I believe there are so many boxes to check in a mate that are waaaay more important. Like shared sense of humor! Even if your partner is a neandethal, biko don’t tight the world on your chest. For instance when bros does something gruff, my friend mostly laughs at him and asks “haaa! Baba ekiti why are you like this?! ??” And everyone ends up having a good laugh.

    • Tamales

      September 17, 2017 at 11:05 am

      Haha!!! You just described my hubby and he’s an Ekiti man too. He loves me die and I do too. I have learned to appreciate him just the way he is. I remember when I got engaged and people were asking how he proposed, I didn’t have a supposedly romantic story because he didn’t do the typical going down on one knee and all. Babe just took me to a jewelry store and bought me a beautiful 3 carat ring and said we need to start planning our wedding o. ???????

    • Nwanyi oma

      September 17, 2017 at 11:09 am

      Gbam! Gbammer! Gbammest ! Tremendous sense u have made. A good heart and true love will always stand the test of time. Romance.. Not so much.

  16. Akara Pancake

    September 16, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    From the article:

    “Most mothers are the problem because when something happens, they are quick to advise the daughter and wives, they don’t tell the men that their actions are wrong. So if a man feels that he does not have to fight to keep the relationship, he would not,” she said”

    So basically, women (mothers) are the cause of the unromantic nature of men. Not mean themselves. Hmmmmm

    • john

      September 16, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      as i said FISH BRAINS..always contradicting themselves…logic = 0, reasoning = 0…one would soon come and tell me ..I don’t respect women or who hurt you as if she is smart as sherlock holmes to arrive at that cliche conclusion.

  17. Weezy

    September 16, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    She should not have said they are not romantic. That has nothing to do with the problems she talks about later in the statement.

  18. Cocoa

    September 16, 2017 at 5:39 pm

    Where are you guys meeting these women who are just after your money????
    And why are some falling for them??? Aren’t their intentions painfully obvious after a while????

    Everyone should just be PATIENT for the qualities they want in a man or woman.

    ROMANCE is frivolous on the larger scale of things but if you want it..it can be introduced at anytime. Lead by example. A man who wants to see you happy and realizes you like romance will for sure be open to being romantic (at least attempting to be). It may not be NATURAL for him…BE ENCOURAGING OF HIS EFFORTS TO PLEASE YOU.

    I don’t like the debate on foreign women being better than Nigerian women. Talk like that further pushes divide among women. Go for what YOU like…if you like a white woman..go for that…..we are not upset with you. Just be FAITHFUL AND LOVING WHEREVER YOU CHOOSE TO END UP.

  19. Enny Heart Heart

    September 16, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    Simi doll don’t just blame out mothers oh, our fatheres are also to blame. For leaving the child’s upbringing entirely or almost entirely to the mother and for telling brothers they don’t have to do chores at home because they have sisters.

    My only joy is I’m glad alot more women today are realising the faults in this current sysytem so there’s hope for the next generation.

  20. Emily

    September 17, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    Romance is relative. Black or white, we all react to people differently. Most times we mirror what we see. All these stereotyping is unnecessary.
    As a black woman, am not sure which race is better with romance. But being raised in Africa we tend to think of survival before anything else. Oyinbo man/woman most times was an ony child, dotted on by parents, got all he wanted from home or the government. The last thing on such a persons mind is security because his/her parents or government, got their back.
    On the contrary back home we have no one behind us, some of us look after parents and siblings, most have never experienced true care or feelings, so how can we give what we dont have.
    I love my husband, but he is more interesed in providing security for the kids and myself, asking for romance maybe too much for him to provide. Over time i stopped all the ‘romance’ things. Moreover we all only experience these expressions from movies, which may not be correct.
    Over time a committed man or woman, is more romantic than a flower giving, public kissing, gift buying lover (who may be or not be committed).
    After 20 years of marriage, a man coming home at 5pm everyday consistently, is romantic enough for me.

  21. Adeola

    September 18, 2017 at 4:31 am

    My husband is a Nigerian and he’s so romantic. During our stay in Capetown, we go out almost all nights to eat dinner and watch the oceans, stars and laugh. He made candle light with oranges around the bed and he smells so nice. It’s not about money but the time spent together. There was a time I traveled to Dubia and he came to me with egusi soup with fresh fish. Wherever we are together he will say stop complaining and enjoy the time. During our school days, we go to buka to eat and laugh. He will followed me on Danfo from LASU to my house (apapa) and he returned to Agbara by bike because of traffic.

  22. Harry

    September 18, 2017 at 7:41 pm

    See people asking for romance. Una don collect money finish? Abi una don collect money finish, na romance una dey find now? No you can’t eat your cake and have it. A lady that starts with money and needs met should never ask for romance. Bullshit. You Nigerian girls can be greedy and annoying.

  23. Sisi Mi

    September 19, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Hi i get you. But you have to understand that those women who did not value you ate your best had insecurity and self esteem issues of their own. No real, secure woman who has her head in the right place will take such a love for granted. I once dated a guy like that who was all over me and bought me lots of thing. I reciprocated the love fiercely too. The only rift in the relationship was that he did not understand me or take his time to. I found myself always trying to explain myself with him which made me lose interest in the relationship though I still loved him very much. So the truth is a real lady never takes a real man for granted. If she did, she is still suffering from internal issues she has to deal with

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