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#Trending: Here’s what Toke Makinwa, Simi, Gbemi Olateru-Olagbegi are advising Man whose Wife is Pregnant for Another Guy

BellaNaija.com

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It’s always so much fun to see how advice sounds when the scenario is flipped.

People are weighing in on a post about a man whose wife was impregnated by another man.

A Twitter user @Letsang shared a post about her male friend crying because he discovered his wife was impregnated by another man. She wrote:

A friend cried last night, his wife is pregnant… And not by him.  I am devastated.

OAP Gbemi Olateru-Olagbegi commented on the post, offering the man the same advice often offered to women in the same situation. She wrote:

Eyah, he should fight for his marriage . Keep his home . Pray , fast and watch “War room”

Toke, on her Instagram, quoted Gbemi’s tweet, and in a lengthy caption took a leaf out of Gbemi’s book, fleshing out her advice. She wrote:

Hmmmmmm!!! This is a deep issue o, maybe he was focused on his career and was always going out, maybe the man outside is the innocent looking one, does not have swag, easy going and natural. Maybe he needs to hit the gym fast, cook for her, take care of the kids etc… whatever he decides, he should just accept the child, the other man will always be an outsider, it was a mistake; after all it is him she married, he is the legal husband. He should fight for his marriage, forgive her, dem no Dey throway wife o, where will he start from? Wife scarce for market! #Thingstoldtome#My2cents#Marriageisdoordie

Singer Simi had something to add also. She wrote:

“Women will be women. He should just pray for her and submit. Most men don’t know how to respect and please their wives. You know women don’t like to be controlled.

See the post and other comments below:

40 Comments

  1. Ephi

    December 19, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    All these twitter stories sef, always *a friend* or colleague. Doesn’t sound real to me, but whatever.

    • tunmi

      December 20, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      ooh but they are. True life is stranger than fiction, abi how dem talk am?

  2. Tanonymous3

    December 19, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    Love it! I am here for all dat shade n more

  3. June

    December 19, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    Lmaooooooooooooo ????! Theeee SHADEEEEE of it all!!!! This life!! Guys , I’m renting war room ????

  4. Queeneth

    December 19, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    I laughed all through at the series of advice. People gat no chill no more! Lol

    • Femi

      December 19, 2017 at 11:18 pm

      As in…I’m kind of heart broken!

  5. Omasola

    December 19, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Advice for this man: if you don’t submit to your wife she will look outside. Also, the only way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. If you can’t cook well how do you expect to keep her?? Hian men of nowadays! Be strong ehn. God lives. She will come around

  6. Lill

    December 19, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    Lol. The comments be giving me life. The man should not allow any starnge man into dere home o. Accept the child, forgive and contimue as one big family

  7. Alero

    December 19, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    Sacarsm… I just love it! Real War room… buy 1 & give 1 to a friend. Hehehe.

  8. Corolla

    December 19, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    I am here for all of it! *laughs gleefully.

  9. Olivia Ruth

    December 19, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    Wow! What a series of comments? I am running short of vocab – so all I can say is wtf?

    1. It is so sad how stuff like this can seem to be so acceptable in our society
    2. All these people preaching fight for your marriage – “fire proof it”, “war room it”, let’s see how you’ll like to hear that advice, if the script was flipped and your husband got another woman pregnant; or your brother’s wife came home with another man’s baby in her uterus

    Shit happens and yes, people step out on their spouses in their marriages. That’s the broken world we live in.

    But maybe the answer is not – “dress sexier”, “fast for days”…
    Maybe it’s a much bigger issue.
    Maybe it’s about commitment and waking up every day and deciding to stay committed to your partner.

    How the hell are you gonna sit at your device and type shit like “maybe he needs to hit the gym fast, cook for her”???
    Even if he was Yokozuna, does that justify her steeping out? (And she has fallen pregnant!)
    Have you not seen women thay spend their lives trying to alter themselves to be what a man wants and STILL their husbands are out on the streets with penises that are equivalent to public toilets?

    Until the narrative changes in our society, I guess these are the sort of comments we will be grappling with from people whom one would think should know better.

    Sorry to the dear man and maybe the couple will be able to find a way forward. I hope for the best for all involved and a sincere change of heart and behaviour where it is required…

    • Dear Olivia Ruth

      December 20, 2017 at 9:41 am

      Seriously???

    • Loki

      December 20, 2017 at 9:57 am

      Erm, I’m not sure if you’re Nigerian so I’ll explain. Their responses are basically a sarcastic play on what Nigerian women are generally told when their husbands cheat on them. So basically the women responding are saying “Hey this is what people told me when I got cheated on. How you like it now?”. It’s normal for the oppressed to rejoice at the pain of their oppressors but in this case and sadly so, NOBODY is winning. No one should have to go through the pain of infidelity but the world is what it is.

  10. CrazyWorld

    December 20, 2017 at 12:44 am

    While the comments are funny, women don’t want to accept that many men find it hard to accept that this happens because of shame. So many cases of wife getting pregnant for another man but how many do we read about? Because the man wants to eat his ekute onidodo inside his house.

    Sometimes I feel marriage system of this present generation is failed. Let’s just all tap and go afterall being in a marriage doesn’t stop people from tapping and going (and this goes for both men and women)

  11. John

    December 20, 2017 at 3:25 am

    Nothing to see here. I looked at most of the people making joke or calling it sarcasm. 90% are just the typical youruba single , divorce or baby mama cheering for each other..For their mind, the tables are turned.. they are wining and sticking it into the men..No wonder , youruba men are running away from them and marrying other women of other tribes( and their marriage even last longer)…just take a look at the women doing this- gbemi and toke …give me a break..if it were women like okonji iweala or the late dora even joke silva (I would have understood) ..even chamamanda adiche wont be as stupid as this…but as usual,it is the bitter, single, use and dump mostly yoruba women that is making noise..take a look at toke makinwa..that is the attitude that demoted her from wife status to girlfriend status..she is online forming slayqueen for married ,grand pa yoruba demon..smh
    And for the banshees that will be coming at me with thier typical dumb, cliche analysis like who hurt me or why is it paining you, calling it sarcasm or whatever or it is only intelligent people that understands sarcasm ( or whatever that means)I say to you, May they not use situations that bring tears out of your eyes to show “sarcasm skills” on social media..Now say Amen.

    • Susie

      December 20, 2017 at 3:46 am

      so besides attacking them personally & writing 3 paragraphs to tell us no one wants them, can you please tell us whether what they wrote was good advice for both men & women or not? That was the main issue no?

  12. Nenye

    December 20, 2017 at 3:38 am

    Married grand pa yoruba demon!!. John, you have a problem but this part made me to laugh out loud.

  13. KKK

    December 20, 2017 at 4:07 am

    @John, I can now see that u are a confirmed oloriburuku somebody

    • Ooooooops

      December 20, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      It’s takes one oloriburuku to know another tho.

  14. John

    December 20, 2017 at 4:27 am

    @sussie you still do not get it..it is bad advice for anyone..Even I john inspite of my comment being truthfully harsh on women.I am a big advocate of , if your tired of the marrige..pack your bags and go..simple..Please, list any man you know that give that kind of advice to a woman…I am waiting?..How many men even knows there is a film called ‘war room”….the funny part is that it is even women that give women that advise not men.if you are tired of your marriage ..pack your bags and get out. If i cheat on my wife and she finds out…I will ask for forgiveness..if she decides to forgive FINE ..If she doesn’t want to forgive then she should pack out and leave..simple..bcos honestly, I know that no jupiter will make me forgive a cheating wife talkless of a preganant one.. And that goes for majority of men too… but you have to admit , if you leave sentiment aside ..What I said about yoruba women is fact..if you notice even in pre wedding pics here ….you will see that yoruba men feel elated when they marry outside their tribes.There must be something nasty and obnoxious about the new generation of Yoruba women that even their men detest them. infact..all my male friends are yoruba …so I know..they won’t tell it it to your face if you are woman . But, outside they will tell you that their women are only good in being baby mamas.. In fact if a yoruba man manages to get an igbo woman for example..It is like wining the lottery for them….that type of joy black men ( in general) feel when they marry a white woman..You can deny and call me names…It is what it is.

    • Beryl

      December 20, 2017 at 5:55 am

      Dear John, you are not a wise man. You are insensitive and quite daft…. Just let’s imagine and examine your logic. In your subconscious you have made up your dull mind to cheat on your wife and you expect her to put up with it or ‘pack out’. But you cannot forgive her if she does same to you. May you marry a cheating wife, Amen.

      Men like you are not to be touched even with a 20 feet pole. You are wicked and haven’t got an understanding of the principles of a healthy/worthy relationship let alone marriage. I don’t blame my female friends here in the diaspora…..they run away from most Nigerian men. Most of your Mama did not raise y’all right but y’all do nothing to make better versions yourselves. Keep chatting rubbish there. You better make wisdom your friend and heed her life saving advice!

    • Ochokkwu

      December 20, 2017 at 6:06 am

      ‘She should pack out and leave’

      See your mouth like park out and leave. You hurt someone and you are telling her to park out and leave.
      Thank God it’s not me That would marry people with warped thinking like you.

      I am angry at this your comment. You see people like you only make such comments behind computers or when seated with your drunk friends.

      If you are in a United nations meeting and this question is asked, would you be proud to give that answer of yours unabashedly???

      Silence…..?????

      I thought so too. Please put your thoughts in order.

    • Jezebel

      December 20, 2017 at 8:30 am

      Freeze, how market? Your comment on marrying a non-Yoruba woman has outed you. Your non-Yoruba wife that cooks well was also previously married to a non- Yoruba man. Does that mean she too is flawed? Or that her cooking wasn’t enough for her ex? Or was it something else? Just asking. No, I am not Yoruba, I am as far from being Yoruba as the North is from the South. I am just looking for clarity even though I strongly suspect there is non to be found in your reasoning.

    • bolintin

      December 20, 2017 at 8:49 am

      I am not john’s fan but honestly he is making sense today.
      If you have ever been a victim of a man’s ills you will agree with me that the guys you spoke with were more sympathetic and wanted to help you raise your head. Its only women who tell you to rough it out, guys don’t. Matter of fact I always believed best relationship advice for women come from men. Even in churches. the women leader always talks about you fighting for your home while your pastor encourages the guys to behave well. simple!

      Personally I feel this Toke girl (based on fact contained in her books) was the one who advised herself the way she stated above otherwise she should not have married Maje or stayed while he was cheating or became away Anita was pregnant. Even before we all heard.

      And YES she she partied too much, did not cook for him enough and every other thing they said about her. She needs to learn that in life you sacrifice or learn to balance (win – win). It’s not a Nigerian thing. Its a universal principle.

      she just likes to be a victim and too manipulative in my opinion. She was the one who wanted to die on top a man that did not have her time. went ahead to marry him despite several warning from close associates yet she is the one manipulating the media to pity her. haba!

      I did not admire Maje for doing what he did but honestly with a woman like toke one can get tired very easily.

    • Jade edo babe

      December 20, 2017 at 9:28 pm

      @John(I have a feeling this John na freeze in disguise)
      Na wa o, you carry woman mata for head o. The only thing I agree with you is, women especially older women are the ones who advice other women to stay in problematic marriages/relationship. When men misbehave they think if you like accept it or if you don’t like go your own way.
      Chai, a Yoruba woman must have broken your heart really bad
      The stereotype you mentioned applies to all women. A bad woman is a bad woman, it doesn’t matter what tribe. There are good Yoruba women just like Igbo and edo women.
      This whole Yoruba men don’t want Yoruba women na lie bcos majority of Yoruba men are still married to Yoruba women. The ones who marry other tribe is a small percentage. I’ve mostly dated Yoruba men, none of them complained about Yoruba women. In fact, my ex is happily married to a Yoruba woman now. If na ashawo things, Yoruba babes are more discreet while Igbo and edo babes are More open with it. If Yoruba women are baby mamas maybe they chose to keep their babies instead of aborting like other women.

      Bella Naija highlights a lot of inter tribal marriage maybe because she’s in one. It’s even good for other women to experience “Yoruba Demons” lol

  15. Loki

    December 20, 2017 at 6:30 am

    Hmmm, I’m torn between laughing my ass off and sad that the divine institution of marriage has become a joke that no one takes seriously.
    But abeg it is Christmas and there is fuel scarcity. I think I deserve a few laughs.
    But as an aside, can the married ones please explain scientifically and logically why marriage vows are so difficult to uphold? Because the whole things seems wack these days. Why take a vow of monogamy if you do not believe in it? I’m all for the libertine, lascivious life if that is what you want. Drink, do drugs and shag the whole world and their mother if that is what you want but for the love of God/Buddha/Ayelala/The shadows, whatever you worship, don’t being someone else into it.

    • 3ples

      December 27, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      Dear Loki… pls can we be friends?!!!!

  16. Mamamia

    December 20, 2017 at 7:09 am

    Even though John has never been my cup of tea, the truth is women are usually the ones who give such advise to their fellow women. “Stick to him o, u will not find another” “Men are scarce” “See karma” ” watch war room, clean out your alter and pray” “Fast o or go to the mountain and pray” . Without comments like these, male and female will all be held accountable. Also, we need to stop with these gender bias statements and stick to holding people to their values. moral standing and beliefs. If I say I am Christian, when do I stop forgiving my spouse? when is enough really enough? Once there is a shift, I believe humans will do better. God made them male and female so why battle it out we also clearly have defined roles men to love as God loves the church and women respect and submit. What is so difficult in these?

  17. Sarah

    December 20, 2017 at 10:07 am

    Abeg, who be the Married grand pa yoruba demon?

    • peter

      December 20, 2017 at 10:31 am

      Pa Festus..Google is ya friend

  18. xqzyou

    December 20, 2017 at 11:43 am

    Honestly, I have never come across such a BIG FOOL as this john! To think all his senseless uneducated misinformed views makes sense to him. He actually feels he is stating facts!!!

    New generation of Yoruba women my @$$!
    So your Yoruba male friends are attesting to the fact that their own sisters, nieces and mothers who raised them are inferior and not good enough for marriage. Speaks a lot about your dumb self and the kind of company you keep.

    Your mouth like “pack out” kmt!
    What a douche bag!

  19. LemmeRant

    December 20, 2017 at 12:00 pm

    Lol. This is just too funny.

    Angry women everywhere making very little sense.

    If you’d look past your overwhelming hatred clouding your judgment you’ll realise your “advise ” is misdirected.

    So its men that tell you to watch war room or stick with it? Which guy even has that time?
    Shey me that I’m worried about my problems will now turn marriage counselor?

    Let’s take a sample sef. How many times has Toke n co dished unsolicited relationship advice online, then compare it to her male colleagues.

    Fact is most of the “advice” she’s complaining about are usually from other women like her but frustration will not let you see road.

    Abeg this is Christmas period. Only positive vibes allowed.

    • Lolami

      December 20, 2017 at 12:12 pm

      Lemme Rant + Positive Vibes
      = Oxymoron

    • Ooooooops

      December 20, 2017 at 1:31 pm

      Thank you. I haven’t watched war room and I personally don’t know any friend who’s watched it. If this situation happens, I will scold the heck out of the guy like what was he thinking???? We beg the woman and if she wants she can stay. If she wants, she can leave or send him out of the house (whichever the case may be).

  20. Chu

    December 20, 2017 at 3:02 pm

    You know John just made me think deep, its actually women who give this advice not men, we are the ones that have placed men on the high pedestal and made them gods that must be worshiped. We are changing the narrative now but I don’t think it should be at the detriment of a hurting man, they also have feelings too.
    I do not advocate for divorce but if a man can unequivocally say he would leave his wife if she cheats, the woman should be able to say same and the man respect her enough to take her words seriously.

  21. Iya ibeji

    December 20, 2017 at 3:06 pm

    To all the yoruba ladies, do not let John’s childish rant disturb you. You are beatiful and desirable and any man will be lucky to have you. When someone loves you, they will be with you so don’t stress the guys that didn’t stay; its not because you are Yoruba but because it was not meant to be.
    Plus, you really really do not want to be with people who voluntarily associate with John; please leave them to the girls they are interested in!!!

    • Loki

      December 20, 2017 at 3:33 pm

      I don’t even think you need to tell them. Very few people will base their self esteem on the psychotic rantings of a deeply disturbed person. Is this not social media again? Take it seriously at your own detriment.

    • Seriously

      December 21, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Women need to stop deceiving themselves and keep it real. .The truth is, a good woman will be desirable to a good man period. There are some crazy, Jezebel incarnate, annoying women out there. So, Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, White, Asian women are not beautiful bcos they are women neither will any man be lucky to have them. Vice versa. John changed the whole narrative of an angry black woman. he’s an angry black man.

      Men are simple, if they are a cheater/womanizer, most likely will show, come out one way or the other. Most women choose to blind their eyes because they think they are different, have a mind to change him. Then mothers baby their sons a lot, give them entitlement and put them on a pedestal. A mother feels no woman is good enough for her son, mothers don’t feel that way about their daughters. If anything, they advice you to settle and manage. Fathers definitely think there are good enough men for their daughters because they think highly of themselves. So it all goes back to women.

      As for the couple, it’s up to him. He can forgive or leave his wife. Women who stayed in dysfunctional situation had a choice.
      They didn’t leave bcos most still try to prove a point and play victim.

    • Hmmm

      December 21, 2017 at 4:01 pm

      @loki You will be suprised. I know exactly what John did in this very article. His real intentions. It is sort of like a smokescreen and I am sad to say he hit the bull eye.

  22. Anon

    December 20, 2017 at 9:41 pm

    Best answer so far. “War room it?” how silly….

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