Biodun Da-Silva: How Does 50/50 Work in a Relationship?

Over the years, I’ve come to realise that no one is simply a friend or an enemy; everyone is a teacher. Every relationship is held together by something. Once that glue weakens, the true nature of the bond becomes clearer.

If a relationship survives only on tangible factors like money, gifts or intimacy—or on intangible ones like time, motivation, or encouragement—it may be resting on shaky ground. When these elements shift or are taken away, you may find yourself carrying the entire weight of that friendship, marriage, or partnership. And dead weight can drain you.

The relationships that endure are those where everyone involved has skin in the game. Each person brings something to the table: effort, responsibility, commitment. People value what they invest in, and they often devalue what comes easily.

This is what I call the 50/50 principle. It isn’t just about splitting bills or sharing tasks evenly. It’s about both people taking responsibility, contributing meaningfully, and protecting the balance of the relationship.

Because if someone has nothing to offer—not just financially, but in spirit and intention—they will end up taking everything you have: your time, peace of mind, kindness, dreams, and even your joy. That’s why boundaries matter. Protecting your mental health, energy, and resources is not selfish; it’s survival.

When I turned 40, I made a choice. I recentered my circle, kept those who truly added value, and let others remain at a distance. Social media access may be all some people will ever have to me, and that’s fine. Not everyone has to clap for you. As long as you keep moving forward and seeing results, that’s enough.

So, how do you keep your relationships strong using the principle of 50/50?

What the 50/50 Principle Really Means

The 50/50 principle isn’t about keeping score. It’s about fairness, balance, and mutual investment. Both partners give their time, energy, and presence so that neither feels undervalued or overburdened. At its core, it means:

• Shared responsibility: Both people own the success of the relationship.

• Balanced effort: Each person gives their best, even if what they give looks different at different stages of life.

• Mutual respect: Every contribution—financial, emotional, or practical—is valued.

Why It Matters

When one person carries all the weight, resentment builds, trust erodes, and intimacy fades. But when both lean in equally, the relationship thrives. Balance prevents burnout and creates a safe space where both partners feel seen, supported, and appreciated.

How to Apply the 50/50 Principle

• Communicate clearly: Regular check-ins about needs and expectations keep both sides accountable.

• Share responsibilities: Divide tasks in ways that feel fair and sustainable. Balance, not perfection, is the goal.

• Support growth: Encourage each other’s dreams and personal development. When both grow, the relationship grows too.

• Be flexible: Sometimes one partner gives more due to life circumstances, but the aim is always to return to balance.

• Celebrate effort: Show gratitude for both big and small contributions. Appreciation deepens connection.

A strong relationship is never about one person giving and the other taking. It’s about partnership. The 50/50 principle creates a foundation built on fairness, respect, and shared commitment. Balance doesn’t mean perfection—it means both people showing up consistently, with love, for each other and for the relationship.