AUNTY BELLA – MISS TIMEPosted on Thursday, August 14th, 2008 at 10:13 AM
How’s it going? How is your week so far….Mine has been ‘eventful’….its just been one of those weeks when I’m just like ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’ cause I really cant hack this stress and decisions on my own.
Anyways, its all good. Most of it is sorted now! I am still enjoying my lil break. Feels so good not to be working 24/7!
So its been a long time since we have had Aunty Bella on the blog. Please send any Aunty Bella issues to bellanaija @ gmail.com. For those who dont know, this is our agony aunt column. So if you have any issues, share them anonymously with Bella Naija readers. You will be amazed by the fab advice u will receive. Also if you are interested in submitting a story to BN Prose. Please send to bellanaija @ gmail.com as well. This is for short stories which are completely fictional or heavily embellished.
For previous Aunty Bella features, click below – HERE
Dear Aunty Bella,
I started dating my boyfriend about 6 months ago.
He is in his early thirties and doing well career wise and financially. I am 31, have a masters degree and a stable job, emotionally mature with a strong sense of self. I’m sure you know where this is heading.
Our relationship has been going very well. We click, get along well, I have met his friends and his younger sisters and all is well.
Now to the issue, I know it is early days (we have only dated for 6 months after all) but my boyfriend has made it clear that he does not see himself getting married for at least the next 5 years. I have asked why and he has just said that he is not ready and that is the minimum time he needs. You know those early relationships questions like how many children do you want to have, when do you see yourself getting married etc…
During that time, he said that he wanted to make his view clear to me so it wouldn’t seem like he is misleading me.
He has now turned it into a mantra.
I find that even when we are having general conversations, he repeats it. I will give you an example, we attended a birthday party for one of his friend’s young children and as I was cooing over the cute child, he mentioned again that he doesn’t see himself becoming a father for a long time.
I am confused as per what to do. I am not desperate to get married ASAP but will like to be in a relationship that is clearly heading in that direction. Women’s Lib aside, there is a family history of infertility so the sooner I get married and start trying, the better for me but I am not desperate. I was previously in a very long term relationship (6 years) that did not work out. Long story but I was bold enough to break it off but I am now very weary.
I am wondering that all this about him not wanting to get married in the next couple of years translates into him not wanting to get married to ME!
Everything else in my current relationship is fine except this.