Toolz’ Thoughts: Taking Stock of the Past & Positive Strides for 2013

I find that a lot of people are not fans of making resolutions. However, we go through experiences which form a part of who we are and part of what we aspire to be. For me, 2012 was a big year for me and I came into 2013 determined to take stock of my past and forge ahead, trying to be a better person. I’d like to share some of them with you and I hope that as you walk with me, you’d take stock of your past year with a bid to make some great positive strides this year.

-The power of the focused mind: In 2012, I learnt a very important lesson and it was this “Anything is possible as long as you keep a focused mind.” You see, 2012 was a great year for career-wise. I’m thankful to God for the many opportunities that came my way. I’m also very thankful for the mind-set I was in. Although there are other important factors, I found that your success is predominantly down to you, so I tried to convert as many opportunities into achievements.  Having a focused mind also makes it easier to accept the amount of work load involved – the no days off, 15 hour working days were tough, but nothing worthwhile comes easy.

-The intimate commune with God: For a long time, I never missed a day of church and I hate to admit it, but after the service, done and dusted, I was good to go. I would say my prayers in the morning and at night like I had done since childhood, but I honestly didn’t spend enough time talking to God. I considered myself religious – because I went to church every Sunday, but I eventually had to admit that most times it would go in one ear and come out the other. So 2013 is all about going back to the very basics and building a good relationship with God.

- The value of “Me Time”:  Getting pampered, shopping, socializing and making time for things you enjoy is definitely good; but I recently discovered the importance of spending time with my own thoughts. It sounds a bit cheesy, but it honestly works for me.
Life in Lagos, actually Nigeria as a whole is stressful – traffic, bad roads, work load and so on constantly has a lot of us in an ‘irritable’ state, and de-stressing is key. I start by getting off my BB, Twitter and switching off my phone if possible. Then I just find a quiet place, take a few deep breaths, relax my mind. I basically switch off and try to let go of all the things stressing me, making me angry/upset etcetera, then I take stock of the things I’m grateful for and move on to refocusing my mind on my goals.

 -The nothingness of hear-say:  All too often, we don’t give others the opportunity of a first-impression – I used to do that a lot. For example, if there was someone I’d never met but had heard of, I would have already judged them before they had said one word to me. I truly learnt that lesson after having a few people that I had recently met admitting that they thought I was a certain way even before meeting me. A lot of the times I would hear ‘I thought you were stuck-up, a few people have told me you are…but now that I know you, I realize you aren’t’. People talk a lot, and let’s be honest the information isn’t always accurate, so I’ve learnt to find out by myself and make my own opinions, taking all the sensible pre-cautions of course.

- True & Lasting Friendships: A few friendships ended for me in 2011/ 2012 which was quite sad. It’s true that over time we all lose some friends that we thought would be in our lives forever, but sometimes you wonder if you did all you could to save certain friendships. For some friendships that ended, it was easy for me to say ‘Well that’s life’, but eventually I started questioning what kind of friend I had been. So in 2013, I plan to be a better friend, to listen more and to care more. I want to build true and lasting friendships.

-The useful thick skin:  I’ve always known that surviving in the entertainment industry in Nigeria is not easy. I knew this before, but in 2012 I learnt this on a new level…like on a PhD level! Some of the things I’ve read about myself…WOW!! Nasty comments/stories on everything from my weight to my fake accent to the fact that I did certain ‘favours’ to get to where I am. Yes, the negative attention comes with the territory, but it’s not something one can get used to overnight. I’m all for constructive criticism, but sadly there are people that seem to find satisfaction in spewing hate. It definitely affected me in early 2012, but I learnt that if I wanted to successfully continue in this field (and keep my sanity ) one of the most important things to do is to be impermeable to the negativity and basically do me. So I drastically reduced my blog reading, ignored the negativity on social media and also accepted that people who go out of their way to be nasty/spiteful are most likely unhappy with their own lives.

- Being less jaded: I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, and I think being in love is one of the best feelings on earth – when it’s reciprocated of course. However, like most young women in Nigeria I’ve been through a few negative experiences and have heard many horror stories about dating in Nigeria that I’m jaded (/ˈjādid: The end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences, disappointment, and unfulfillment eventually leading to accepted disillusionment). I’ve met a few seemingly ‘eligible bachelors’ over the last 18 months, but before the 2nd or 3rd date I had managed to convince myself that they were no different from the guys we all hear horror stories about, and before you know it I’ve ended things. So in 2013, I’ll be doing my best to stop being jaded – be cautious of course, but still give things a good chance.

-The accuracy of basic instincts: I need to listen more to that  little voice that says ‘Hmm Toolz, think this idea through one more time before moving forward’. I have found that 9 times out of 10 it’s usually right so I’m going with my gut this year.

-The beauty of giving back: I didn’t do well in this area in 2012. My charity/give back projects, unfortunately, took a back seat in 2012 because of inadequate time and improper planning. However, I firmly believe that if you really are determined to do something you’ll make the time to do it even if it means losing a few hours sleep here and there.
-Bringing sexy back:  I love my curves, but it would be nice to have to suck belle less, spend less on Spanx and not worry about certain camera angles making you look bad. So 2013 is about successfully working on the areas I’m unhappy with – getting the super taut tummy, lithe limbs while still being curvy. Wish me luck abeg and if it all goes well I’d love to do a 2014 calendar or a 4-part photo-shoot!

-The Mayans were sooo wrong!

Which important lessons did you learn in 2012, and what do you aim to achieve in 2013?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
ToolzO is an award-winning on-air personality who currently presents ‘The Midday Show with Toolz’ on the Beat 99.9FM and the Juice for NdaniTV. You can find out more about Toolz by visiting www.ToolzO.net

32 Comments on Toolz’ Thoughts: Taking Stock of the Past & Positive Strides for 2013
  • Kapelo January 21, 2013 at 11:11 am

    I will always Love Toolz…I know I’ll still marry u…lol…keep doing what you do…God bless u!

  • Ron January 21, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Well said, Wish You the best in 2013. See You at the top!*Wink*

  • labelle January 21, 2013 at 11:26 am

    i really do like Toolz. love her energy and wit. I tune in to the Beat from the other side of the world when I’m awake just to listen to her show on the Beat. nice one here and definitely some tips i’m going to follow as well. Keep doing you jare!

  • Drama January 21, 2013 at 11:28 am

    Awww! to be honest, ive never been interested in her or what she does for a living. I’ve never watched any of her interviews and stuff but i was shocked by the twitter attack sometime last year when she supposedly rubbed some people the wrong way by supporting one Lagos Government mandate or so. People can be so hateful towards others. The insults thrown at her really broke my heart.
    This interview makes me see that she is a nice person and a strong woman. wish you all the best Toolz. Ignore the haters and DO YOU!!!!

  • naijapose.com January 21, 2013 at 11:46 am

    I wish you luck Toolz. Truly inspiring

  • Retrochic January 21, 2013 at 11:47 am

    i love TOOLZ, learnt alot from these, esp abt judging people as am a major defaulter in that.

  • Rola January 21, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Tools I pray u find strength to do all u wish in 2013 .kisses to u

  • Onyi January 21, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    Love ur tots and really help with some of wat i have put together with mine….love u toolz

  • Non professional opinion January 21, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    This girl has a good head on hear shoulders. Keep doing you as its clearly working.

  • Pressplay January 21, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    Beautiful and inspiring. Love the positive energy Toolz always discharges coz it sometimes helps me get by. Good luck with μ̥я̥ plans and one more thang, can I help with the giving-back part coz I’m so into taking-back right now.lol listening to u atm on TheBeat.

  • Yemi January 21, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    inspiring post!..I like d honesty n realness in it…Got love for Toolz all day!

  • kemi January 21, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    This is a lovely one toolz…. I’m adding this to my bookmarks cos its gon be a guide for me to take stock of my past and positive strides as well, a lot of the things u have tlked about related to me as well but I pray that this year God helps u and helps me as well… I love u, pls keep doing wat u do :*

  • Yemi January 21, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    *Inspiring*

  • na ur boy johnminner January 21, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Very gud positives 4rm u toolz !just remembered a few moments back wen I asked my self d meanining of toolz ur name!nd d reply I got was dat we are nofin buh a pencil in d eyes of God…..so u wudint hav achieved all dez wiffout d help of God!u just said dez urself even nd 4 me 2012 was though a pleasant year cause nt just 4 d moni nd stuff nd sme. Achievement buh dat my life is secured!

  • efe January 21, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    nice one

  • lollipop January 21, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    All i can say is Nice One ….Truly inspiring

  • Maury January 21, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    You go girl, very inspiring

  • Limog January 21, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Nice one…inspiring ‘cos its honest. All the best Toolz :)

  • kmh January 21, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Is that a confession or to win peoples heart?

    • Inyourmind January 21, 2013 at 4:52 pm

      Good question but at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter because if she sees her goals for this year through, she’ll be an even better person for it. So, the motives don’t really matter if you think about it. :)

      That said, I am a big fan of Toolz. I am also a UK Nigerian and I couldn’t do what she’s done. I.e. take the risk and move back…

  • @FabulousF8 January 21, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Lady! You are Wonderful and my friends and i are proud to call you our own

  • @FabulousF8 January 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    Lady! You are wonderfull!!! And my friends and i are proud to call you our own. Much love

  • Ifeoma January 21, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    Truly inspiring, you are just a wonderful person.

  • Mz Socially Awkward.... January 21, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Toolz, you’ve almost literally repeated a lot of what I’ve been mulling on as 2013 opened. I share that desire for a focused mind, to know God more and bring the sexy-hot-sisi-eko that I can be, more into the forefront this year.

    I was also verrrryyyyy Jaded in 2012 and poured all my passion into work instead. However, as I told my galpal during the close of 2012, e dey like say 2013 na the year of find “man friend” again! Was carrying too much negativity about previous dealings with the opposite sex around and it wasn’t a good look. I had to dump the baggage and I can tell you, already noticing a change when I meet guys now (single ones oh! Before pesin begin classify me). Keeping an open mind within certain boundaries of good sense is the way forward.

    The beauty of giving back!! So with you, also earmarked as a priority for 2013. Lord help me not to just give money but also give my time to any charity projects and effort which come my way this year. I want to make a difference in my own corner of the world.

    And finally. that skin like Pomo is where its at. I’ve spent too long worrying about how to please people and not enough time figuring out how to find my own joy. If you do, dem go talk, if you no do, dem go still talk. I so don’t give a rats ass now and the new attitude is “werking”. Goodluck, liebchen!

  • Rach January 21, 2013 at 8:47 pm

    Luvly piece Toolz !

  • brittany January 21, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    good one!I like a lot..

  • fashionandstylepolice January 21, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    Very inspiring.

  • pynk January 22, 2013 at 8:26 am

    she’s focused. Thats what really counts.

  • Choice January 22, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    Indeed inspiring,go Toolz.

  • Madam the Madam January 22, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    I loved reading this, and I will bookmark it. Awesome sauce.

    Toolz, I’ve always been a huge fan of you. I think you seem very cool, and I love your curves. All those people who constantly make comments about your weight are beyond jobless. Love your strategy of reading less blogs/paying less attention to the comments because people will always talk. This was a really nice read. I wish you much success in your future, and may 2013 be an even better year for you.

  • bukola October 22, 2013 at 3:20 am

    Toolz, hope u do read ur comments…I love this article even tho I’m reading this at 2:48 am on the 22nd of October 2013.
    I don’t like resolutions one bit, I hate being disappointed so I just go with the flow without expecting anything(taking each day as it comes) and tbh,even at this stage of my life,(I’m 20 and I’m a finalist in the university…asuu strike has delayed and is stilldelaying me from graduating) I’m still confused as to what I want to get out of life. So setting goals and all that really isn’t realistic for me

  • bukola October 22, 2013 at 3:23 am

    Oh and as to relationship and jaded(jadid) I don’t believe in all that. Life is too short to tie oneself to one partner. Live life and have fun is my motto for now.

  • Post a comment