Georgette Monnou: Do Interracial Relationships Work?

Seeing that I am a woman whose mother is mixed race, this topic has forever interested me. As a child growing up, I fantasised about my caucasian boyfriend. The boyfriend I would get once I went to school abroad. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in any male Nigerians, it was just like the saying goes, you want what you can’t have. As a child, my imagination was fuelled by posters I collected of some of the boy bands at the time like Busted, (Harry was my favourite), and actors on TV.

I recall how I fell in and out of love with the actors I saw on screen. A long time crush of mine was Wentworth Miller from Prison Break, and I had my heart broken when I found out that he was of a different sexual orientation. This however, did not stop me from going through the same process again and again and to be honest, it still hasn’t fully stopped.

As I’ve grown older, travelled and experienced different cultures, I have realised how incredibly big the world is. As a third culture kid, that exposure has given me the ability to have rapport with almost anyone, not limited by age. However, what it has also made clear to me is how different people are. We could all have similar political ideals, similar financial backgrounds but what defines us is our culture, the way we were raised and our life experiences. That can be seen as a blessing but it can equally be viewed as a curse. For the purposes of this article, I do not want to see it as a curse, but rather a hurdle that must be overcome. The reason I say this, is because in a relationship, two ultimately become one, and seemingly minor differences are usually what cause relationships to fail, whether religious or otherwise.

I have noticed that in order for an inter – racial relationship to work, one of the partners will have to sacrifice a lot of themselves and their culture to ensure their relationship is successful. Take Nigeria for example, most of the mixed race people I know, their fathers are Nigerian and their mothers from different parts of the world. Their mothers left where they consider, ‘home’ and travelled to an entirely different country to be with who they love. We do not concern ourselves here with how they raise their kids, as the cultures are fused and the children are exposed to everything. We focus here on the couple, the man and the woman. They have made the ultimate sacrifice, but the question is: are they truly happy? Even though some of you will argue that they made the choice to move and thus are ultimately bound by it, the issue is that your spouse adopts a culture that is not theirs, one that they in certain situations get lost in.

On another note, someone I know made a comment recently, he stated, ‘how will my Caucasian girlfriend flow with my friends and their future spouses. When we are cracking jokes about Nigeria and Nigerian culture, how much can she really contribute to the conversation?’ I reprimanded him immediately saying that ‘she obviously would be able to comment. She is your girlfriend for crying out loud – so she must be able to comment on some aspects of Nigerian culture.’ He remarked that he didn’t think it was possible and that was why he would never marry someone who wasn’t Nigerian. Looking back on that conversation now, and in the interest of being controversial, he might have a point.
Bear with me for a second, someone who has not lived in Nigeria cannot really have a full idea of what life is like here. They might not understand the kinks of the system. The fact that most well off people have huge houses (in comparison to most English houses), the fact that it takes hours to get from Lekki to Ikoyi depending on the traffic, the fact that we call people ‘Aunty and Uncle’ even though we are not related to them is something they will grow to understand. However, there are things like how we had to ‘pick pin’ in primary school when we were naughty and used an iron over paper filled with Milo to make chocolate candy; or how we cooked Indomie using a kettle, and how we used to look forward to hot dog for breakfast. These are things that one can only understand if they have experienced it.

Therefore, although his girlfriend can comment on some aspects of Nigerian life, she can never really comment as an authentic Nigerian. You might ask me, why does it matter? Well, it does in the interest of integration. Your partner will need to be able to integrate with your friends and family who laugh and joke about these things regularly.
With that being said, does that mean that people should not be in inter-racial relationships? No, certainly not, but it comes with a lot of sacrifice, a lot of patience, tolerance and understanding.

Photo Credit: www.sodahead.com

_______________________________________________
Georgette Monnou was born in Lagos, Nigeria and has lived in various countries since then. She is in the final year of her Law degree in the UK. She updates her two blogs regularly, which are inspired by her passion for Nigeria and life itself.http://theunspokenwords93.blogspot.co.uk/ and http://wordsanddesigns.wordpress.com/.

46 Comments on Georgette Monnou: Do Interracial Relationships Work?
  • Zeltern Fiornkan October 30, 2013 at 10:42 am

    My husband is

  • Zeltern Fiornkan October 30, 2013 at 10:43 am

    my husband is Egyptian and i am Nigerian.

  • taiwo October 30, 2013 at 10:49 am

    To be honest , it is very hard but doable…….. granted some people would give u examples of how it has worked for such and such people they know. But this statement says it all
    One of the couple, has made the ultimate sacrifice in order for it to work , but the question is: she/him truly happy

  • Anonymous October 30, 2013 at 10:53 am

    My dear you are even going too far. Some inter-tribal marriages here in Nigeria have been unsuccessful too. I think it depends on the individuals to a huge extent to make it work. You’d be amazed at how different you and someone from your own backyard are. Background, education, family values, religion etc are other factors. Not just where your country is located on a map.

    • Tou October 30, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      THANK YOU FOR THIS comment

    • nene October 30, 2013 at 12:29 pm

      gbam! both my parents are mixed race and my maternal grandmother is still married to her swedish husband, while my paternal nigerian grandfather is dead. as long as both of them are getting married for the right reasons, and there was no “snatching”, and their families agree, then it will work out. my experience of mixed race people in nigeria is different, their mothers were maids or staff working in a company/house and got pregnant for the ogas or they were people from poor homes, mainly prostitutes who were looking for an oyinbo man to take them away to a foreign country, and sometimes the kids don’t know their anything about their parent from another race. outside nigeria, i think women are better at keeping their interracial marriages than men, because some black men marry other races just to show off or to validate themselves, not because they love them, so those relationships don’t work as well as black woman-other race.

  • ogeAdiro October 30, 2013 at 10:55 am

    Inter-racial or inter- cultural relationships are for the open minded. I think the hardest part for me will be raising kids with someone who’s value system is totally different.

    • 3rd kulture kid October 30, 2013 at 3:50 pm

      I understand but you will only be attracted to someone like minded like yourself. So I doubt that would be a major issue.

  • riley October 30, 2013 at 11:31 am

    I am a black zimbabwean married to a white man. Our
    relationship works because he accepts every weird and wonderful
    part of my culture and I accept every weird and wonderful part of
    his culture. You have to be open minded, understanding, patient and
    very much in love to make an interracial, inter tribal and in fact
    any kind of relationship work. Having the same values, goals and
    aspirations also helps and accepting what you cannot change goes a
    long way.

    • I formerly known as Miss Anonymous October 30, 2013 at 5:18 pm

      “Accepting what you cannot change”. Nice!

  • Diya October 30, 2013 at 11:42 am

    Some of my main issues are cutting down my use of
    atarodo-hot pepper-in my food, the foreigner’s inability to
    understand naija jokes/ lifestyle, feeling out of place, and his
    lack of support for our way of disciplining children. No one has
    time to put the corrupt children of these days on time out. They
    will not be punished by staying in their rooms without computers/
    cellphones. That is child’s play. They will kneel down for hours in
    our parking lot under the hot sun. Let them get tanned while they
    are being disciplined (Toke & Rukky Sanda will disapprove
    of this). The good ol’ ass whooping I got from my parents helped
    change my life! Look at me now.

    • TA October 30, 2013 at 12:41 pm

      You is a big clown. LOL! :-) Ah,I thought I was alone in my view of the ineffectiveness of timeout with some kids,go to your room,face the wall ati be belo, all those ‘Ajebota’ modes of discipline,not trying to say they are not effective o,but just wondering… My own ideas of effective discipline is based on the temperament and personality of the child in question. But hey! if my parents had relied only on time out,he! he! he! ,not quite sure I would be of any good now.
      @ Topic, all relationships,whether interracial,biracial,multiracial,inter ethnic,intra ethnic, it don matter where your spouse is from; could be a green-eyed bandit from Neptune,it all requires effort; patience,respect and understanding and of course the biggest ingredient; Forgiveness.

    • Me Full Ground October 30, 2013 at 11:43 pm

      @Diya, a million Gbosas for you. I don’t what my life would have become if the only corrective measure was just “you are grounded”. Mschteeew. My father and mother dealt with every form of misbehaviour with correct “water cane” and sometimes “no food”. We were not spared. I can say am better for it today. God bless my father and mother for the effort without foolish oyinbo sentiments.

  • Mz Socially Awkward... October 30, 2013 at 11:49 am

    Ehnn? Wentworth Miller is gay???? Lord WHYYYYYYYYYY???!!!!!! :-(

    All the fine ones have been harvested from the heterosexual pool…

    So, back to the main topic. Last week I travelled away to spend time with my dearest galpal who got married to a British man. They are a lovely couple and I noticed right away that they were working on the new dynamic in their relationship. For instance, she would tease him in pidgin and even if he didn’t always understand, he got the spirit behind it. He was very organized and time conscious and I definitely saw how he was changing her in those areas. And they’re each making discoveries – such as her African hair needing relaxer, weavon and braids; his mum needing flowers on special occasions; her family maybe visiting in multiple numbers and staying with them; him being a collector of items which Nigerians may ordinarily not value.

    Inter-racial relationships require a bit more work to align all the differences and I have to admit that I silently hailed her because I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to hack it. All na for love, sha.

  • Friday's other Child October 30, 2013 at 12:04 pm

    I agree with some of the earlier commentators, sometimes coming from the same country or even ethnic group is no guarantee of compatibility, or having shared values, outlooks, understandings or being able to bridge them. Personally, I don’t think race or ethnicity presents the biggest barriers to cross – or indeed has to present any – if you have shared core values, the same outlook on life and are truly in sync with each other. I think this shared core transcends any other issues that may be presented by coming from different racial or ethnic backgrounds. In any case, culture isn’t static, and neither are people or the way they engage with it. So it is just as plausible that you’re more likely to get along with someone from the other end of the earth, than you are with someone on your doorstep.
    Also, as much people don’t like to admit it, culture is about a set of norms and values that are shaped – by those in power – and passed through generations through processes of socialization and normalization. In other words, culture is not innate, outside of any biological differences; there is nothing that is exclusively innate to a race either, so there’s little that can’t be learnt by an ‘outsider’. Once something can be learnt it doesn’t need to present a barrier, unless there is unwillingness to learn it.

  • Abby October 30, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    To be honest this inter racial marriages work for some. I have a friend who has met a British man and are planning to visit africa but he says he is worried about moqsuitoes and flies lol i just told my friend she should tell le boo, there are better things to worry about than that.This is why i prefer to date my people, less wahala sometimes lol

  • Lecker October 30, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    It was tough for me. We were so different. Apart from not being able to relate with some of the jokes and trends that he shares with his mates, I also observed that he struggled comprehending mine as well.
    My idea of having fun or feeling hype is not going to the club to jump, laff with so much hysteria and get drunk, I never got drunk tho but they did (their drink no de saturated like our own, I be social drinker-honestly lol!)
    The only food I prepared that he ever liked was dodo and asaro (yam porridge wit g/nut oil almost bland).
    His parents almost freaked out when I used sir and ma for them, I feared on how he’ll relate with my parents too when they visited or when he came to 9ja. I tried exposing him to our ways and lifestyle via youtube, blogs, he just wonders, laughs when it’s not funny and ask endless questions that seemed silly most times.
    I did enjoy the oyinbo fairy-tale romance tho-u guys know what I mean na (covers my face), he is an amazing guy, very polite and well cultured. But then again what will I do without pepper, using my hands to eat and having fun the 9ja way…
    We ended it when we realised that we were being polite about it all, but we are still friends.
    In the whole I can say Nigerians adapt easily to most condition no matter how it comes, maybe because of our struggles, we’re exposed to a lot. There were so many things I knew about his culture b4 I travelled, he knew practically next to none about mine. Most of these folks don’t travel outside their terrain or continent at worst. We’re intelligent people I must say.

  • dami October 30, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    I think as someone has rightly pointed out, inter racial relationships are for the open minded, because it can be very difficult, like my step dad who is German, he insists we call him by his first name and by me that is not acceptable. My mum always have to take time to explain things to him and sometimes he says things that annoy me but as my mum will say “he doesnt understand”

  • Bobosteke & Lara Bian October 30, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    what are you say?
    Intertribal or racial is too far. Have you tried people with different temperaments? Opposites surely attract but have you discovered that its what brings two people together that becomes the sore point between them? She liked the fact that he is charming, a great orator and charismatic. He liked the fact that she is subdued, homely and nice. Suddenly his charm does not have any appeal because she knows he snores when he sleeps or can wear one boxers for 5 days straight without washing it; his voice grates on her nerves, it sounds like sheep bleating it and he is sooo in love with the sound of it; his charisma as far as she is concerned is borderline arrogance. As for the man, the woman he married, subdued has become stubborn, homely is she is like his mother in a bad way, and nice is now he does not recognize who she is anymore.

    Whether local or international marriages, it all boils down to the two individuals and their acceptance of each other. It would in turn gradually spread to other areas of their life.

  • Bobosteke & Lara Bian October 30, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    I have always wanted to be mixed. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about that. At least, I would not have minded parents from different tribes. Again, I was too late for that. The bright side is I will definitely be on time for mine.

  • slice October 30, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    even with oyinbo-naija friendships, there are differences to iron out there. from the first time you throw a bday party and your naija friends are there from dawn till dusk cleaning and helping without you asking but your oyinbo friends walk in for just the party and say but you didn’t say you needed help. Or when you have a kid and your oyinbo frd sends you flowers and visits once but your naija friend brings you jollof rice, helps you take a shower and massages your stomach all the while telling you how fat you’ve become. or when you travel with oyinbo girlfriends and there’s only one bed so you end up on the couch cause everyone thought you were surely joking when you suggested sharing the bed (but you know 3 of your Naija frds would have shared one queen bed without fear of being called gay). Of course these are generalizations but they happen enough times

    • www.anemistyle.com October 30, 2013 at 10:45 pm

      I disagree O, I have oyibo friends that plan the party,
      clean up at the end and drive your guests home and 1am(while the
      naija friends are no show or late), and sometimes up to 3 of us
      share a sofa bed no wahala, the ones that cook for me me when I am
      ill. If someone is your friend, they’ll be there for you, black
      white or green! #anemistyle

      • slice October 31, 2013 at 8:17 pm

        my dear, that’s why i said these are generalizations. Many Nigerians have the same experiences. Of course, there are oyibo people that are different. that’s the danger of the majority story or the danger of a single story. There are always exceptions so know the person as an individual.

  • Wendy October 30, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    As for me sha, it is can be a very difficult situation. I saw it with my brothers. They are all married to women from different continents. Boy o boy it can be rough. Then come add raising children..total kata kata..total two different value.. it is a tough situation especially for the guys.
    My advices to people, if you want to marry outside niaja, just make sure that it is someone from other Africa countries. You guys have very similar values. If not African, then Caribbean is the next option.

  • pynk October 30, 2013 at 3:19 pm

    Story story storyland! As boring and uneventful as it sounds, i’m mixed! Nothing spectacular abt it. My parents are like day and nite literally! I greet my father good evening sir, -b4 he asks if we are mates, I chat w myy mother on the phone using the nickname we kids gave her based on her first name. My mother doesn’t take offense to wats up as a form of greeting, my father almost faints and starts the are we mates rant! Truth of the matter is, life is what u make it, my father is patient enough to interpret Nigerian things to my mom and vice versa! We kids are a third culture but we manage it well! Go to Nigerwives meetings or events, they manage their situations well! Obviously this inter-marriage thing is only puzzling to those outside of it. My brothers are married to other mixed race Nigerians and are doing just fine. My bf is a half brazillian half naij mix – he hates swallow, I love it. We find our weird balance. Life is about this thing called personal balance!

  • chioma October 30, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Married to an akata is worse, than oyibo. That is death warrant in itself

  • kongagal October 30, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    I am in an interracial relationship (Nigerian dating European) and man it is a challenge :-) Especially as holidays come near, I spent the last 2 1/2 Christmases with his family where their only idea of christmas and new years is to eat and eat and eat. At some point I had to tell them I could not go to Uncle so-and-so’s new year dinner because I want to join my family for new year prayers via skype.

    People like to say that as the woman you have to sacrifice but I think it is when you stay true to yourself that things actually have a better chance of working. Or at least if it doesn’t work, you know early on and can be assured you did it your way. Still work hard on the relationship o, and show you love your guy/lady. But scream at him when it is necessary, don’t do all that passive aggressive stuff ‘cos many guys won’t get it and they won’t change, you will just be suppressing anger for nothing and maybe setting yourself up as a victim (I am educated, etc, never used to raise my voice; if anyone knows an alternative to raising one’s voice that works, please share; I guess this goes for all relationships).

    I had to establish things like God willing, we must go to Naija at least once a year together to spend time with my family. Otherwise you will be surprised how quickly your culture can get lost, and nobody will blink an eye.

    In all, happy with my boo, not every day is rosy but when you look at the big picture, as @TA said, all relationships (even mother-child) require effort: patience,respect and understanding and forgiveness.

  • tmc (healthy skincare and haircare tips) October 30, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    interracial or intercultural relationships wil only work for someone who is open minded and wiklling to learn about other people’s culture without any prejudice. You’d be amazed at the number of chinese, white,indians who speaks pigdin or yoruba really well. I am a Nigerian living in the diaspora and I sometimes feel lost when i’m with other Nigerians and I “get” other races more.
    But I can never get comfortable with calling people older than me by their first names, especially if they’re a friends relative.
    themanecaptain.blogspot.ca

  • KOOL OLA October 30, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Been married to an American wife (white) for 6 and half years now and we are blessed with 2 sons. My decision was born out of frustration of many failed relationships with Nigerian women and so i decided to do something different. Just like in any marriage, we have our ups and downs but we are still very much in love. She knows how to cook most Nigerian foods. She knows a lot about Nigerian culture especially Yoruba…..she can even speak some Yoruba language. My kids are learning Yoruba language too and she is exited to call them by their Nigerian names. We visit Nigeria once in a year and she always want to stay with my family and not in hotels. My wife has even decided to take up a Nigerian citizenship. I will say interracial marriage is working so well for me.

    • Diya October 30, 2013 at 10:15 pm

      Your wife is white so she can take any citizenship she
      wants with no qualms in life. Do you think a white nigerian will
      face the same issues as a native nigerian (does the term native
      nigerian even exist sef?lol) Anyway, what I am trying to say is
      have you heard of white privilege?

  • www.anemistyle.com October 30, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    OK My 2 cents and to reply some comments above. I’m married
    to an English bobo as Justin Timberlake was taken! He loves pepper
    and can live on just suya and jollof, he loves naija food and can
    cook. He cooked rice and stew for my mom and she told him to marry
    me already! He loves and honours God and it shows in the way he
    treats people. He is from a big family like me and can relate to
    all the flogging stories. So all the gist about not getting
    boarding house gist. Not true! I am Ijaw and he is happily learning
    the language and calls himself a Delta man even though, I can
    barely speak! Our cultural difference makes us react to situations
    differently and sometimes leads to disagreements but if you are
    open to learning and patient you’ll get past it. You should not put
    people in boxes because of their race, there might be someone
    perfect out there for you but you may never find it if you are so
    closed minded. Interracial Marriage can work very well! I would
    rather be with a good man than a random dude cos we colour
    match!

    • confucius October 31, 2013 at 2:43 am

      You seem to have a different experience from most of the previous commenters. I would like to learn something from it though. So I have a couple of questions. How long have you guys been married? How long did you guys date? and what country did you spend most of your high school years (11-17 yrs)? Feel free to not answer any question that makes you feel uncomfortable. I always find the answer to the last question I asked to be a defining factor in inter-cultural/racial relationships.

      • Wendy October 31, 2013 at 2:21 pm

        **** what country did you spend most of your high school years (11-17 yrs)? Feel free to not answer any question that makes you feel uncomfortable. I always find the answer to the last question I asked to be a defining factor in inter-cultural/racial relationships.****

        I am also waiting for the answer to this question too….

        I am kind of thinking what you are thinking. I hope sooooo……lol

      • www.anemistyle.com October 31, 2013 at 8:32 pm

        I spent ages 11-17 in a Nigeria and moved to England for UNI, Nigerian Navy Sec to be exact and we’ve been together for 3 years.

    • slice October 31, 2013 at 8:19 pm

      lol getting the flogging story is not the same as getting the boarding house story. Even day students in Naija did not experience the boarding story not to talk of fine white boy abroad. i’m sure he loves you and enjoys your stories but getting it b/c he was spanked at home is a stretch

  • attiekeforlife October 30, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    My husband and i met in Europe, hes Ivoirian/french.We got married 8years ago and we are still going stronger.He’s my best friend …
    The key to any relationship, friendship is TRUST and COMMUNICATION.If u cannot trust your friend,there’s no way you can communicate.People just need to open their hearts more and they would see that impossible nothing…

    cheers

  • KOOL OLA October 31, 2013 at 12:40 am

    @ Diya, I really don’t understand what you mean by “issues” and i don’t know about white privilege. If we chose to move to Nigeria, she will live as comfortable as possible. She knows nearly every events going on in Nigeria. From government greediness and corruption to boko haram, epileptic power, no job and many other social problems facing Nigeria so a white Nigerian will have prepared for these challenges before she embrace Naija citizenship.

  • Noni October 31, 2013 at 3:15 am

    Honestly, I think this is article should be called
    “inter-cultural” as opposed to “inter-racial”. Yeah most times,
    inter racial tends to also mean inter cultural, it doesn’t always
    or at least not completely. We moved from Nigeria when I was 11 and
    I soon became more engrossed in life in England and the culture
    than I was in Nigerian culture. My sister being older is more
    “Nigerian” because she was 15 but as an almost teenager I didn’t
    give any thought to anything that wasn’t in my immediate vicinity.
    At my highschool I was the only black girl in the entire school for
    the 5 years I attended and so my teenage (and I think formative)
    years were spent going to Busted and Mcfly concerts and having
    girly sleepovers with my white and Asian friends. Being slightly
    older now I’m obviously making more of an effort to be in touch
    with Nigerian culture but I know that if I got into a relationship
    with a Nigerian person who was in Nigeria till they were 18 at
    least we would definitely have some of the culture difference
    problems mentioned. Not least because I won’t be too eager about
    the whole family descending on you out of the blue thing, or
    (seemingly) treating your husband like he’s a freaking king. I mean
    I understand respecting that he’s the head of the house and
    everything but kneeling down constantly and cooking and serving him
    while he sits on a pseudo throne watching football? Boy
    bye.

    • Jojo Daniels December 11, 2013 at 11:19 am

      I love your total honesty most Nigerian men are full of shit.

  • "Yes, We're Together." October 31, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    I think the short answer is: “Yes.”
    Differences don’t make relationships fail, people make relationships fail.
    Also, the idea of an “authentic Nigerian” gave me pause as I don’t think this is one, monolithic way to “be Nigerian.”

  • Phoebe October 31, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Great topic.
    You guys have just made my day, lmao!!!
    Like people have already pointed out, it takes a lot of compromise and understanding to be in any relationship, let alone where our foundations vary.
    For those who say that it is not a problem (i’m sorry if i’ll offend you) but it is either you have compromised little or you are so used to compromising that you do not feel the change or maybe you have live outside 9ja for sometime. Because somehow somewhere a lot of compromise is involved.

  • Jay October 31, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    My fiance is African-american and I can tell you it’s not been easy.
    I believe the most important thing is friendship in a relationship, when we fight and all that…he keeps teasing me to get out of my anger mood, me can keep malice sha.lol.
    I have learnt from him to be very open and communicate more since I’m the introvert here….as for discipline, the children go hear am. He is strict, I’m the soft one who wouldn’t touch a child so I thank God for that. His mother likes me cos she says I am God-fearing
    He reads the news about Nigeria and is well informed.
    About moving, I have no choice….When Love takes over!
    Forgiveness, patience and trust are the right foundations even for friendship.

  • omada November 1, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    Interracial relationships like all others have challenges,
    it depends on the individuals involved. As for your friend, if he
    finds a woman who makes him happy, gives him peace etc he will let
    her go because she cannot ‘crack Nigerian jokes’? lol…

  • lifeisfun November 2, 2013 at 1:30 am

    i think relationship period is challenging, either nigerian
    or other countries. i have been married for almost 8 yrs now with a
    nigerian man and i can tell you it was so difficult at first and we
    were both from the same tribe. but like the rest of you have said,
    it takes a lot of compromise and hard work. the foundation of the
    relationship matters alot. i have seen a lot of my friends that
    married from different culture and i can tell you that the
    ladies/men are more nigerian than nigerian in nigeria. they wear
    the attires with prides, can cook the food and learning the
    language.

  • D Weight Watchers November 4, 2013 at 12:08 am

    There is barrier that love cannot cement but the problem is that most of us are selfish to love another wholeheartedly.

    dweightwatchers.com

  • Naveah November 4, 2013 at 5:48 pm

    @ http://www.anemistyle.com —–You and I have almost the same experience because my hubby is the same way, he claims where I’m from in Nigeria, he LOVES pepper soup, Egusi, jollof rice and suya. He is learning my dialect, I am learning his language as well. My whole family just loves him. He takes his time to ask questions about the culture especially if we are going to any affair that is native, he wants to learn how to greet properly, he wears his Naija outfits proudly. We’ve been together going on five years and married going on 4 years.

    My husband is from Europe. We don’t fight, we have minor disagreements that mostly land in the category of misunderstandings/miscommunication but once it’s explained, we are back to enjoying our lives. I couldn’t have found a better man to be the father of my wonderful twinnies or better in-laws. If it’s not for you, it is not for you. Interracial relationships are for those who are ready to be open to change, new cultures, traditions, ideas and concepts. There are a few things that are universally expected and accepted by all people on the face of this earth and I’m pretty sure it applies to Mars as well. Those things are: Love, Peace, Trust, Respect, Friendship and Faith. If you start your relationship with those things in place and build upon it, you will be fine whether you marry a human or an alien.

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