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Aunty Bella: Mrs. Waiting on the Lord

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Sometime last year, I was at an event and got talking to a group of ladies. As the conversation trailed on, I and one of the ladies in the group clicked and drifted apart from the group. She told me about her newly launched business and she had heard of Bella Naija so it was quite an engaging conversation. We exchanged numbers and kept in touch over the months…Last week, we finally had a chance to catch up for drinks. She had told me over the phone that she wanted to discuss something relating to BN and I had assumed that she wanted us to work on a piece on her business venture but I was wrong. It was something much more personal and she wanted to share it with BN. Please read on and offer your advice and prayers – The ‘Aunty Bella’ story is Mrs. WOTL’s story as related to Bella Naija.

Dear Aunty Bella,

aunt-bella-black-womanI have been a fan of this column for a while. It was actually what attracted me to Bella Naija, a friend of mine sent me a link to one of the Aunty Bella features because she thought it was her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend who sent it in. We had a great time trying to decipher if it was her story or not and from then got hooked on the site.
I am in my twenties and am married to a great guy. My husband and I are one of the lucky few who met each other early and maintained the relationship all through the years. We met in secondary school (he was my prom date!), dated all through uni and finally got married about 3 years ago. You can say that I have led a blessed life. Graduated on time, got married on time (yeah yeah, there is no perfect time to get married but you know Nigerian standards now). Well, it has been a great ride so far. My parents are supportive, my husband and I have a very good relationship and I have a newly launched promising business. Now to the issue, as you probably guessed from my ‘name’, I am waiting patiently on the Lord. When I got married, I swear I didn’t even give a second thought to the possibility of not getting pregnant immediately. I didn’t even think about it! I just assumed it would happen. Hubby and I were so excited that we will finally ‘shed the rubbers’ LOL. See us strategizing our honeymoon and things! Well, honeymoon was lots of fun and I was convinced that I was carrying my honeymoon baby. Afterall, I had that glow when we got back to Nigeria. Imagine my shock when I saw ‘red’ that month! I still did not fret though. Hubby and I just carried along our business as usual and each month, ‘red’. After a couple of months, I finally confided in my mom. She just said I should relax and that it would come. That I was simply overthinking things. Once, my marriage clocked one year, my mom just called me one afternoon and told me to meet up with her. One of our close family friends is a renowned gyno and she had booked an appointment for me with him. We both went to see him and we had a chat as well as some tests. Test results came back and they were fine. Therefore, I had to have that very difficult discussion with hubby. We had never discussed the fact that I hadn’t conceived all through this while so it was kind of difficult bringing it up. We talked and he was ok with doing the tests. He got tests done and all was fine. The doctor just told us to relax, improve our diet and exercise regime and also gave us some practical tips (it was cringeworthy listening to my old family friend giving me intimate tips but the man was just doing his job)! We put all that into practice but months later. Nothing! All through this time, you know the deal, others got married then pregnant, many more got unexpectedly pregnant, then all the questions and comments from people around us. Finally decided to get try assisted conception. Most of the doctors told us to be patient as we were both young, had no medical issues and had ‘only’ been trying for about 2 years. I understood their point but I was the one going through the pain. We got a good doctor decided to go with the IVF option. You know people throw terms like IVF around and you think since its commonplace, it is painless and seamless. It is not o. The whole process is painful and invasive even for the man, it is mentally tasking. During the IVF journey, I became closer to God and met so many women both in person and online. Some of these women had been trying for over 10 years! I even felt guilty because I had been married for a short while.
Well the IVF didn’t take and I was still not pregnant. The whole thing exhausted me mentally and previously jolly me found myself being eying pregnant women and turning down baby shower invites. I tried to be cool about it but I couldn’t help it. For the first time in my life, I just felt like a failure. After the first IVF, the doctor just told us to relax and keep trying naturally. He said that as a young couple with no proven fertility problems, we should be able to conceive naturally soon. At that point, I quit my job, dragged hubby on a holiday and when we got back, I just decided to let be and let God. That is the point I am at now, I am just praying and waiting on the Lord while pursuing my passion and growing as a person.  For anyone on this journey with me, please keep the faith! You will not believe the rotten advice (e.g. to go to one ‘prayer house’ or the other!) and comments that I have received from the most unlikely quarters. Ignore! Yewande Zaccheus’ books ‘God’s Waiting Room I & II’ have been invaluable and open communication with hubby has helped us. For any young ladies out there, I will just advice that you take your reproductive health very seriously. Use protection, go for regular pap & STI tests and report any oddities to your doctor. You know your body better than anyone! Through my journey, I have met so many women carrying huge amounts of guilt. Please do not blame yourself for any perceived ‘wrongs’ that might be causing infertility! Even if it is true, being depressed about the past wont change the present. For me, my mom thinks I should try another round of IVF and sometimes I do get panicky and scared but I know God is in control. I will still love to hear feedback from women, any advice and stories of hope and trying.

Mrs. WOTL

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113 Comments

  1. mary

    March 10, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Thanks for sharing God is faithful he makes all things right in his time for those who put their trust in him please remain strong you will carry your own baby sooner than you expect

  2. tafia

    March 10, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    Darlyn, you really have to let go and let God entirely. If you say you are WOTL, and you try one thing or the other, you deceive yourself. The bible says, God is not mocked.

    Just continue to seek his face and his grace. The lord is your strength.

    I am one of the lucky few. I am married with a beautiful baby. I got preggers the week of my honeymoon. I thank God every day for my baby, not because “I born quick or say na boy I born” but for his grace towards me. I tell my hubby “we are not better than the next man waiting for God to do it for him” and so for that reason, I praise him.

    As he did it for me, my love he will do it for u. Claim it and use everyone you know (including me) as a point of contact.

  3. Neli

    March 10, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    I totally feel you on all accounts. My sister was going through same situation…even worse. She tried for 8yrs. She blamed it on her getting married too early ( she got married at 20).

    She finally let go and let God….she gave birth last month!!

    Remain steadfast and hold on to your faith, it’ll happen for you too…

  4. aosgrl

    March 10, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    I wish someone would do a study on this. May be its just me but I’ve noticed that there is an increasing number of Nigerian women…Young in their 20’s and 30’s who find it increasingly had to conceive. I’m worried about what potential environmental factors could have had an effect on us while growing up. If only we had a mature medical system with a strong base in medical research.

  5. Ifeoma

    March 10, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    Just keep praying and BELIEVING that God will bless you and your husband with a child that will be a blessing to you. Never for a second doubt him and what he can do for you. I have heard numerous stories about women who have tried for 10, 15 years and eventually it happened.
    You are in my prayers! xx

  6. jen

    March 10, 2009 at 11:49 pm

    Sweetie maybe your husband is shooting blanks, I say get a divorce and find a different man.

  7. Trendy

    March 10, 2009 at 11:57 pm

    @jen, this is soo… wrong, how dare you make light of such a serious issue, divorce! will you want your hubby to divorce you if you could not conceive. How can you be so insensitive.

  8. Jaiye-Lola

    March 11, 2009 at 12:13 am

    perhaps stop trying so hard, dnt drive ur self crazy over it. enjoy ur hubby and the time u guys r sharing.

  9. helen

    March 11, 2009 at 12:28 am

    Don’t hold on to thought of failure…ONLY hold on to what u want. Give ur emotional energy, thoughts n feeling to what “u want” not “don’t want”. It will happen for u. You will have children. Devil is a liar. Pray n fast go to mountain of fire n miracle ministries. Attack fight back with prayers. with almighty GOD all things are possible.

  10. Kelechi Chukunyere

    March 11, 2009 at 12:37 am

    @jen wot a wicked thing to say!!

  11. Milo

    March 11, 2009 at 12:47 am

    WOW…May God forgive you whoever you truely are “jen”.And may you not know the meaning of having to wait on the Lord for a child.
    Kai..you are a very wicked soul.Lets hope this words you so carelessly uttered without looking back to see what hurt you may cause not only here but to women/men facing the same situation who have come to read words of encouragement,lets hope it wont bite you in your evil behind,
    You think not having a child yet is something to ,,,,
    men…i cant waste my time on this jen anylonger

    Mrs Waiting on the Lord…
    Let me tell you something,relax,have faith in God,WHEN the time is right,it will happen.DO NOT compare yourself to others who already have kids etc..You are not here on earth on ANYBODY elses time.I can give you countless examples of women who have had to wait…just last week in my church,i met a woman who is in her fourties,she got married at 18 and had her first set of twins at fourty.she said to me that she had been EVERYWHERE,eaten EVERYTHING,all BECAUSE she felt pressured..she found God,and just left it at HIS throne,and HE DELIVERED…MADAM,HE ALWAYS DELIVERS,GOD NEVER EVER FAILS…
    As hard as it seems my dear,IN ALL SITUATIONS,JUST KEEP THANKING GOD,remember some women have it worse,what if you WERE getting pregnant and kept on miscarrying,i have another friend who never fails to get pregnant but has never carried a child into full term.
    OR what of you do have a baby IN THE TIME YOU WANT,AND AT ALL COST,and then its one devastating health issue after another…
    We humans atimes don’t know what God is cooking,we just want to jump in at all cost and eat…especially when its not ready to be served.
    My dear….relax,relax…relax…
    God WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN,AND PEOPLE WILL NOT ASK YOU WHO DO YOU SERVE OR WHERE IS YOUR GOD?
    Please do NOT listen to people like “jen” up there and negative people who will start filling your head with nonsense..
    GOD NEEDS TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND AND CONFIDANTE,,along with your husband of course.
    It is well,
    Milo

  12. jen

    March 11, 2009 at 12:53 am

    I know that most nigerians grew up in dysfunctional homes with polygamy and all this nonsense, wait till you find the right man, obviously your husband is not the “one” enjoy your life before you have kids.

  13. Jaiye-Lola

    March 11, 2009 at 1:50 am

    LOL @ jen,…hon i think u hv some unresolved issues and need to sort them out before rendering ur biased and potentially harmfull advise.

  14. damola

    March 11, 2009 at 2:20 am

    I pray God for his infinite mercy to grant you your heart’s desire. But I should say this outrightly…I had my first son when I was: 23 … not planned, and I think more parents should tell their children what my parents told me when I was a teenager.. ” if you get the girl pregnant, don’t even think of aborting it.. it’s a crime against God, bring it, we will gladly accept it “.. Not that I even needed my parents to accept it, cos, with a miracle from God, a broke ass boy like me, just a small start up made sure she got a car, an apartment, a driver, but more importantly the fact that, I believed it’s the right thing to do, God blessed it all… that don’t mean my parents encouraged sex outside marriage, in fact, up until then, I have only had one partner all through, and she’s the one who got preggy, the boy, the the cutiest thing that ever happened to the entire world.. maximus baba!….God will bless your marriage my dear, but I think you should either try to commot your mind there, na God hand he dey… he gives whom he pleases, but worrying won’t fix anything.

  15. Trendy

    March 11, 2009 at 2:51 am

    you again, will you quit this negative talk, jen.

  16. Bc

    March 11, 2009 at 2:55 am

    When I read comments from jen and those pushing for a divorce, I say to them, may you never be in the same predicament.
    I am going through it now. I was a good girl, never had an abortion, ate right, took care of my health. 2 years going, no pregnancy. Doctor says all is well on both sides. I worry but what can I do but trust in the Lord.

    For those that said Mrs. WOTL is mocking God by seeking medical help, I say zip your mouths shut. Isn’t this same God that gives knowledge to the doctors et all.

    My dear, Mrs. WOTL, I will keep you in my prayers. May God prove Himself in your life..so that the mouths of the enemies and haters can be shut for life. Amen

  17. Bc

    March 11, 2009 at 2:57 am

    God bless you, may your joy continually be full. Amen

  18. Bc

    March 11, 2009 at 2:58 am

    You need to grow up, comments like these are straight from the heart of a wicked soul. May God forgive you!

  19. Bc

    March 11, 2009 at 3:00 am

    My growing up comment was for Jen……..

  20. Abike

    March 11, 2009 at 5:21 am

    Miss WOTL, I think sharing your fears and anxiety is a very healthy thing to do (in my opinion anyways). Please do not loose faith, and more importantly please ignore all the smug, insensitive, under-exposed Nigerians who don’t realize that sometimes these things take time and there’s a whole lot more to married life than having children.

    Please do your best to keep your marriage as beautiful as you describe it and remember you are not going through this alone. Let this be an opportunity to further strengthen the relationship before the little ones start coming.

  21. tttt

    March 11, 2009 at 5:45 am

    I agree. I’m sure some medical drugs were used in Nigeria in the early 80’s that is causing this.

  22. kay

    March 11, 2009 at 6:10 am

    God will always always have your back.stay strong and faithful to God with ur husband, it is well.

  23. Nneka

    March 11, 2009 at 6:49 am

    Well said….

  24. Sugabelly

    March 11, 2009 at 9:01 am

    Or…. you could adopt a child. I don’t think it’s by force to have one biologically. Afterall there are millions of motherless children in this world that need love. Since either you or your husband are unable to have children (has your husband been tested yet by the way?), and the IVF business seems to not be working, the only sensible thing to do if you want a baby that much is to adopt one.

    Personally, I think you should have considered adoption yonks ago before going the IVF route. IVF is expensive, and apparently it’s biologically wasteful since they throw away the extra fertilized embryos.

    Seriously though, if you want a baby, then I think God has already given you the answer, and “waiting” for a baby to drop into your lap is not particularly prudent. There are thousands of Nigerian children (or from other parts of the world) to pick from that are just dying to have someone to call Mommy. Give it a shot.

  25. Sugabelly

    March 11, 2009 at 9:15 am

    Okay so I just went through and read all the comments and I noticed a disturbing trend. Why is it that I am the FIRST person to suggest adoption to this woman??? The rest of you are suggesting she wait and pray indefinitely until she becomes pregnant while desperate children languish in orphanages and adoption centres worldwide.

    Why are Nigerians (and yes, I am generalising, I am too sleepy not to generalize) so adverse to adoption? Nigerian women with fertility problems might spend decades running from one fertility specialist to pastor to imam to witch doctor, but they will NEVER even consider adopting a child. WHY?

    This is not a direct message to the lady with the problem, but to Nigerians in general. If you have fertility problems, and you have tried within reasonable means to get pregnant and it is not working, then please for the love of God, stop being selfish and trying to insist that you must procreate biologically when nature has obviously denied it to you and have pity on one of the millions of children that have been robbed of the opportunity to grow up as all children should; safe, loved, protected and provided for.

    And yes, it really is selfishness. If you can reproduce fine, but if you can’t then maybe life is handing you lemons; specifically small cuddly walking talking motherless/fatherless lemons desperately in need of your love and protection. So maybe you should stop trying to knit mango juice from the ether and make lemonade instead.

  26. kels

    March 11, 2009 at 9:41 am

    i do understand what your going through because im in a similar situation.
    i got married in 2007. i and my husband decided to enjoy our marriage first for atleast 6months before trying for a baby. after six months we started trying.although its been eight months and yet nothing has happened, every sees it as 2 yrs.
    people tell u not to worry but how could you, when your friends are having theirs and some ignorant people ask you why you are not pregnant yet. sometimes i wonder wot ive done wrong in the past to be in this situation.

    if i didnt have a brilliant husband and supportive in laws, who knows? i have decided to wait on d lord cos he would perfect everything which concerns me in his time.

    people like jen remind me of how wicked this world is.

    mrs WOTL, you are not alone but remember his word that says GOD WOULD PERFECT EVERYTHING THAT CONCERNS US.

    stay blessed.

  27. Florence

    March 11, 2009 at 10:40 am

    I have been married for two years now and still no children…..one thing that i do know is that fretting about it is not going to change the situation. I know societal pressures do not help matters but you have got to realise that He makes all things beautiful in His time.

    The question is “what do you do while you’re waiting”?Well, you could adopt a child…I had a friend who did that and after a while she got pregnant so perhaps you need to redirect your energies in helping others. I know some men are not comfortable about adopting kids and if he isnt then dont push it.

    Children are a gift from God, you cant force their existence. If its not time, its not time. I know people who waited ten years and even more. Some I know, dont have at all, but they are still together and what they have done is adopt children. You can not afford to be anxious about this all the time, let go and let God but keep busy.

  28. ronke

    March 11, 2009 at 10:46 am

    @jen….u are obviously one of those nigerians who grew up in a dysfunctional home otherwise u wont sound so dysfunctional cos only such a person can make the kind of comments u have made!

  29. kelendra

    March 11, 2009 at 11:39 am

    I hope your situation looks up. But i will tell you something, stayin away from showers etc wont help u. they will only further isolate you. You should surrond yourself with the love of children, helps others babysit, adopt if you can, and keep faith in God. Move along with your life, dont center you life on what you dont have, but center it on what you have. YOU HAVE A FAMILY THAT LOVES YOU AND IS SUPPORTIVE OF YOU. Be thankful for that.

    I was Diagnosed with ovarian failure at age 17. I am 27 years old now, dating not to talk of marriage is hard, bcos how do you disclose that to a potential partner? Doctors are quick to point out the obvious that the ovaries dont work, and that my uterus is very small, and natural conception or biological children of my own is a 0.05% chance. Well this can make a person suicidal, but i realise something- my life is not defined by the number of children i have. I surround myself with loving pple, and thank God for the wonders and gifts he has given me. I am God mother to multiple babies, and i always thank God for their lives. I pray to God for the honest love of a man that can listen to the situation and accept it for what it is, and build a life.
    All i can tell you is God will never give you more than you can handle. And all those prayer houses etc, God is listening and knows what is in your heart, so long as it is pure.

  30. kelendra

    March 11, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Meant to say avoid all those prayer houses.

  31. kelendra

    March 11, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    I am seconding this too. A lot of cases of cysts, fibroids, lactation ( without pregnancy) etc cases with Young women 20s and 30s.

  32. nina

    March 11, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    You are in my prayers and I know everyone had their own little advice but we are not in your shoes and don’t know how you feel. I pray for the best for you and that God grants your heart desires in Jesus name. Yes adoption is an option but do not accept anything from anyone that God does not have planned for you. You are his child he said he knows your heart and you want to have your own child. He is a supernatural God and he supplies all our needs so he will prove himself to you by his grace. amen.

  33. Eva

    March 11, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    Wow….maybe her husband is shooting blanks….I say get a divorce and find a different man? REALLY…..When I keep saying women are the root of their problems…people question me…but creatures like make mothers-in-law hate women for not being able to give birth on time…..I pray for your daughter…and hopes that when she finds out she is barren, her husband will not leave her and find another man as many Nigerian often do.

  34. randommer

    March 11, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    hmm I don’t think you are relaxing enough? why IVF and why so soon, it is so expensive, isn’t it? what about those pill ovulation stimulants? Why this desperation to have a child? I admit two years is long but really?

    I would not suggest adoption at this time because God’s time IS the best and I think the idea of adopting a child just because you didnt have the one you wanted when you wanted it is the selfish thing to do. I mean both of you are okay so its not like the door on your own children is locked and the key thrown away.

    I will say this though, spend time at those orphanages, don’t stop going to baby showers and most importantly consider why you want to have to children cos to me it seems like you haven’t you really thought about it beyond ‘ppl get married and then they have kids -fullstop’

    please just relax and enjoy that good sex!

  35. Ifeoma

    March 11, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    you are truly disturbed!! i pray it never happens to you hmm cos if it does i wonder if you would be making such retarded statements! I can’t believe this! You need Jesus

  36. Milo

    March 11, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Kelendra
    May God bless you.Let me tell you something,women with similar situations to yours have gone on to have lovely kids.When doctors have said medically its a NO,God sat on HIS throne and just smiled and said BE STILL…and then WATCH what he will do….
    I know so many stories and when i hear of things like this,i just always praise God,because it will ALWAYS be another opportunity to glorify His name..
    ovarian failure?
    My dear,that is mans language and not the heavenlies.
    I was diagnosed with every thing anyone can imagine in relation to my womb etc.
    One day,i had become such a nuisance at all the hospitals etc,that the day i went for a scan the doctor was so pissed that Lady,YOU AGAIN?
    He told me point blank that i would ONLY be at rest if i accepted and made up my mind that my chances of having kids are like…..hmmm..lets leave that for now..
    But guess what?
    unlike you,i was even married.a marriage of two years.but i knew the stigma attached to not having kids,,i was one of those that things just flowed smoothly for,i went to great schools,had a fantastic job,married to a man i belived would love me no matter what..and the next thing was just to start popping out kids… BUT it was a chance hospital admission that started this revelations about my fertility.
    Anyway,at that age of been in my early twenties,i was hopping from one specialist to the other,instead of just relaxing and enjoying life.My dad was so concerned he suggested i come down to London to see specialists as NOBODY could explain WHY.
    It was the same verdict…you CANNOT they said,medically you have a this and a that obstructing your this and that…
    ..then my marriage broke down as the ex husband and his people assumed i was not good enough to stay married to since i couldnt deliver that major piece de resistance after 5 years of marriage, i was thrown out of my own home with ONLY the clothes on my back and my car..i dusted myself up,After a while i actually started to think,you know what?
    is having kids ALL there is on lifes menu?
    i quit running around,embraced my life and my succeses,waltzed into my thirties with open arms. dated foreigners as i assumed they wouldnt be so hung up on kids anyway,BECAUSE even I had written myself off.
    and one day,after about 6 years of all that,..i met someone new,and it started getting pretty serious…we started talking about kids,future,family etc..he is african too,but not nigerian.And you know what,i opened up and i told him,that dude,i know you LOVE kids(he already has names for his kids picked out)BUT this is my situation..he looked at me and he laughed and said,whether you are 40 or 50…and he touched my belly and said..YOU MILO,will have MY kids…because GOD has ordained it.all we have to do is just WAIT and TRUST God.
    My brothers and sisters…i thought he had run mad,but i didnt say anything,last year when he was away on work assignment,i just walked into one of the clinics i used to run to in the days when i was hell bent on seeking a solution to my fertility issues..i just wanted to see if the verdict was still the same…
    they booked me for tests etc..
    and Guess what…the Doctor said there was NOTHING wrong with me…i had to ask for them to please do a double check as this was I,MILO,of the you cannot have kids group.Thye checked,double checked.I still couldnt belive it.
    I then went to another country to do a check up etc,it was the same thing…EVERYTHING was in order.
    My partner came home two days later,he was soooo overjoyed when i told him,we had fantastic sex that night…and april is when we will welcome our son into the world….and YEAH my baby is picking the name of our son…
    And please dont let me tell you guys about all the ideas and crazy theories i was fed in the dark days when i was looking for a child…
    once i was told eating the sanitary towel of a woman who had given birth before would solve my issues,is it my ex mother in law telling me about her alagba in church who would take me to a place between seven hills or something and i would eat nothing but RAW SNAILS and water from the beach…
    i refused,which is one of the numerous reasons she hated me..damn…
    one day i just shut everyone out and started focusing on ME and God..i just talk to God like a friend/father..i dont mean striping mysely naked,and praying loudest and sweating..NOOO….God looks at the heart…he KNEW what was hurting me..and HE ANSWERED ME IN HIS OWN TIME WITH THE RIGHT MAN.

    Oh yeah,last week at mamas and papas,i ran into the ex,i think his jaw is still on the floor somewhere there…

    **i’d commented before but didnt go into my story,but it weighed on my mind overnight and i knew this would touch someone..
    Never give up hope.

  37. Milo

    March 11, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    Sugabelly
    Atimes the woman would not mind adopting,BUT the man would say NEVER..
    Its not a straightforward,easy decision..ohh we dont have kids,lets adopt.IF it was that easy then sooo many childless couples would have opted for that solution.
    Our society is such that you are contending with external factors also known as in-laws.
    In my first marriage that broke up due to childlessness,when i suggested adoption,my Mother in Law point blank said she would never welcome any “emere” child into her family as she didnt know what evil spirits the child was working with.She then went on to broadcast to everyone she could find that her sons “oyinbo” wife wanted to adopt etc…to corrupt their family etc..that who would the child look like..etc etc…and in MY marriage,i cannot just adopt without my husband at least approving as i was of the screw the inlaws mentality..
    but NAHHH my ex husband couldnt go against his family etc..
    look i dont even want to say too much…
    but most times its easier said than done.

  38. Sugabelly

    March 11, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    What is an “emere”? And your mother in law doesn’t sound very nice 🙁

  39. Dorah

    March 11, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Dude…What an awesome story! God is so good. Best of luck.

  40. Chocolat

    March 11, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    WOW. He truly does sit on His throne! Very inspiring.

  41. Ifeoma

    March 11, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    WOW! I am speechless! Such a wonderful story and evidence that God is above science and all that medical lingo! I am touched. God is toooo much! The best part is that you bumped into ur ex! I hope he told his mother! Gosh some mother in laws can be so horrid. I heard a story similar to yours though the couple stayed together but medically she was declared barren but thanks to God after about 10 years they had a baby boy. You are blessed! You have no idea how much this story touched me. kai anyways i know i am rambling but you have to know lol.

  42. Milo

    March 11, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    Hey..lol
    i am so glad my story touched someone out there.I am forever encouraging women who are in the situation i was in.NOTHING is beyond God..i tell you.
    And when it is time,belive me,it IS time,and nothing and nobody can change it.My marriage was JUST two years when i discovered my issues,and it broke my marriage down after 5 years,but guess what?I am thankful as in all things,i HAVE to give thanks.When i sing to the world that i got the best man in the end,they think im drunk,but nobody can understand.In some situations,your husband/partners support is the best thing you could ever ask for.Many couples in situations like this have parted ways due to a total breakdown in communication,tension,hopelessness,etc..
    Kai..I wish i could get a gramophone and stand in the middle of leicester square and announce to the world that God stayed faithful..and will always do…just wait for on Him..
    As for mum in laws..hmmm..story for another day..my ex mum in law showed me P.E.P.P.E.R..
    once i was over at my dads house,to discuss some briefs as i needed advice from my dad, and this woman drove down to my dads house with some of my belongings that she had gone to get from MY HOME,barged into the house and started shouting at my dad and I,telling him to keep his barren daughter etc..she even went as far as saying that my dad had donated my womb to his cult that she suspected he belonged to..she had to be restrained and was thrown out by my younger brothers.that day i cried blood i tell you,i left on the next flight to london,locked myself in the flat for TWO weeks,i did NOT step out..i was just crying..i remember at the airport on my way back,an immigration officer asked if i was fit to fly as i looked a HOT ASS MESS.My ex sister in law ganged up with her mum when i got back and you dont want to know what happened…my Dad was so hurt that he called the woman up and asked her how she would feel if someone treated her daughter that way…the woman insulted my dad some more,calling him EVERY name under the sun.
    Ahhh God sha…and as GOD is my witness,i am not poking fun at my ex sis in law…when i was having my issues and married to her brother,she was 18,she got married years later and 7 years on she is YET to have a kid.Last i heard,HER mum in law,beat the living daylight out of her for refusing to accept the child her husband had with my ex sis in laws best friend…
    and no all these people i mention are not a bunch of illiterates…if you hear there names you will all be shocked.
    As for me,i just thank God…my life is easy,my life is simple,my life is filled,my joy is full,my love is by my side,and God is watching over us.
    And my baby is in love with bellanaija,i have caught him reading it so many times yet he will wanna pretend that its a “girl thing”.and he was just checking up on something…ishh.:-)..but i just wanna tell him that i LOVE HIM COMPLETELY..and i know he will read this..so babes…as we both said,as many people as can be encouraged from our story…lets keep telling them…its all good.

    **oh yeah the ex husband told his mum..as my elder sister is her neighbour in lagos,can you belive the woman actually went to MY sisters house a day after,thursday exactly, to CONFIRM if what her son saw was actually true?My sister wasnt home,her husband was home,(he didnt let her in of course,attended to her in the security shack..lol)and this woman asked if its true,my brother in law na real craze man..he just told her,the airport is in ikeja,you still on the island asking whether someone living abroad is pregnant..better rush down,get a ticket and go look for her to ask her if truly she is pregnant,then anytin wey your eye see for there na you know..
    needless to say,that was the last they heard from her..she dare not call me..for what?
    and she is a persona non grata in my dads social circles…

    • Bbola

      September 2, 2010 at 11:54 am

      Are you the same person who wrote this particular story? You got divorced? Why? Sorry Am just really confused cos I thought you said he was being nice about the whole thing . . .

  43. Ewa

    March 12, 2009 at 2:17 am

    Hi Mrs. WOTL,
    God has already blessed you with the fruit of the womb.
    What you need to do is get your mind off what the devil is trying to make you think, and just praise GOD!
    Here’s a Marvin Sapp song i just listened to. Its titled ‘Praise Him in Advance’. Hope it meditates to you and lifts your spirits.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvganA6nrf0
    *He also has many other songs that lift you. Believe me, you’ll feel God’s spirit and calm around you*

    Also, do not shut the door to your blessing by declining invitations to baby showers. GO out and celebrate genuinely with whomever. By doing this, God sees you, and he’s sure to BLESS you.

    Congrats in Advance !!!

  44. tatafo!

    March 12, 2009 at 4:21 am

    Na wa. I’m almost crying here reading your testimony. So what God promises us in the Bible that the wicked will get theirs eventually will really come to pass?
    Thank you for sharing, thank God for your life.

    Bella, your website has truly touched the lives of countless people. Don’t stop.

  45. Nolimit

    March 12, 2009 at 5:23 am

    This may sound like a cliché, but the truth still remains that “God’s timing is the best”…
    I’m glad you’ve grown closer to your maker…He has the manual to our lives and He has good plans for you…don’t doubt that for a micro second.
    Don’t dwell on it…focus on all the wonderful things you have going for you…I know it’s easy to be on the sideline chanting out all this…but I also know that with God ALL things are possible…I believe you’ll have your own baby…very soon!!!don’t forget to testify!

  46. Catwalq

    March 12, 2009 at 7:13 am

    Like Sugabelly said, try adoption. Try surrogacy.
    Motherhood is not just about a nine month pregnancy.
    If the above mentioned suggestions are not conducive for you and your partner, then wait. You are stressing yourself and stress is not good for hormones…calm down, let go. It will be alright.

  47. Sade

    March 12, 2009 at 8:20 am

    wow, wonderful stories! one of my sisters had to wait almost 15years for her 1st child and the 2nd one waited 10 years for her first and 10 years again for her 2nd. God is ever faithful and still in the business of the miraculous.

    adoption as explained by milo is really right in Nigeria, most times couples just disappears and reappear with an adopted child to reduce all the ugly talks.

  48. damola

    March 12, 2009 at 10:22 am

    God pass dem!!!

    Who be their papa, who be their mama!!!!

    once again, I talk am.. God pass dem!

  49. mrs tuffour

    March 12, 2009 at 11:31 am

    We serve a faithful God, at the appointed time he will show himself faithful.i know people who have waited patiently on the Lord for yrs and at the destined time their long-awaited desire was met. Bible says though its tarries wait for it and at the appointed time it will show forth.Just know that we serve a faithful God.Amen

  50. Imani

    March 12, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    My sister, i enjoyed your story- just be patient and don’t worry, you will be holding a baby in your arms. Have you told of eating certain times of nuts? (almond is very good and stimulates the hormones)

  51. Nne

    March 12, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    I am close to tears! Damn! It sounds like something out of a Nollywood movie but this is REAL! Chineke God of Africa i cant believe what i am hearing! I dont understand why some people don’t get that it is God who gives children and NOT the woman( yeah she gives birth to them but God gives). What has she got to say to her own daughter that can’t have kids now???? She should go and beat her daughter now. Ah God some people are wicked! Karma is a B****
    LMAO @ ur brother in law…she had the nerve to even show face. Kai
    Thank you for sharing this story! It is BEYOND amazing. I cant even imagine how you felt when you held your child!

  52. Kelechi Chukunyere

    March 12, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    ur story has so touched me.

    why should i kill my self wit worry when he makes all things beautiful in his time!

    ah, we serve a living GOD.

  53. odia

    March 12, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    luke 1.37 jeremiah 29 verse 11, Genesis 49 verse 25 remind He of His promise in your life He Honor His word more than His name. He said your marriage shall be a bleeing and your children suround your table

  54. ada ashley

    March 12, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    Every married couple at sometime wants to have a baby.let this test become a testimony. Our heavenly father wants us to prosper in every part of our lives. keep on praying and worship God in good times and in bad times. My last child is a living testimony. I went to deliverance services at my chuch in Brooklyn for 7 weeks and found out that I was pregnant on the lastday of the deliverance service. My sister ,you need to understand that spiritual warfare is real. Our adversary is fighting children of God tooth and nail. He wants us to live a defeated life. If you believe that Jesus died for you, every obstacles that frustrates you must bow in Jesus’s name Amen. Please keep on praying and fasting. The ultimate conciever is in control.Remain blessed

  55. oyin

    March 12, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    Be patient, I bet the stress you are putting on yourself hasn’t helped things at all, put all your trust and faith in the lord and your bundle of joy is on her/ his way, you are definitely in my prayers

  56. Obgyn

    March 12, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Very sorry to hear about your issues. As an obgyn, I know these issues can be very difficult to deal with because NO ONE else knows how you feel except people who are going through this. Did you really have a full and thorough evaluation, including day 3 FSH and estradiol, ovulatory testing, and documentation of tubal patency? Has your husband had a semen analysis? Please make sure this was all done. If everything appears fine and you still don’t get pregnant, try someone else (preferably outside Nigeria if you can afford it). It will amaze you how things like the lab technician and frequent blackouts can affect pregnancy rates. Don’t listen to people telling you to wait 10 yrs/15yrs, that is easier said than done. 2 years is a long time for an apparently young and healthy couple. However, if nothing works in the future, consider adoption. My aunt adopted two children and they have brought nothing but happiness to her life. Sometimes, people stop all assisted reproduction and then boom, they’re pregnant.
    However, do keep an open line of communication with your husband and enjoy your time together. Once the kids come, it’s a different bag. Good luck.

  57. Sugabelly

    March 12, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    Or…. she could just adopt a child. Sheesh! How is it now just a matter of spiritual warfare??? Some humans are born with biological conditions that make them unable to have children you know.

  58. billy

    March 13, 2009 at 9:31 am

    We are in this together my sister,i have been trying for 4yrs now.Hubby and i did all the tests and also ivf but it didnot take.i havent lost all hope with God by my side.We WILL carry our children by Gods grace.our arms will not be empty for long.

  59. mamanino~

    March 13, 2009 at 9:48 am

    hmmm.
    i dont want to sound like i pity ur condition so listen to what the word of God says concerning this issue
    “there shall be no barren in the land”
    let this be ur Hope number 1.

    life is fun and kids only come in to colour it and make it more beautiful.
    being a woman alone qualifies u to be called a mother.

    look for kids around u, love them, buy them gifts and stop turning down baby shower invites.

    it could be hard, i knw but u knw he who has kept u thus far is faithful and just to complete what he has started.

    take it as a test of faith, we all go thru this test but in diff senerios, it is well dear.

    enjoy ur marriage, love ur man and do things that will make u happy.
    no kid want to come to a depressed couple so keep that smile and see ur tiny likkle feet smiling right into ur arms.

    u knw God loves u right, so relax cos ur case is in his hands and whenever u walk pass pple with ugly comments, just keep ur headup, smile and wear the attitude that portrays….”my baby is on the way”

    it is well..

  60. Lynn

    March 13, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Hello my dear,
    I am testimony to the fact that ‘miracles’ do happen. I was in the obgyn’s office crying about the fact that i had to ‘beg’ for children after 2 years of waiting and being sent for all sorts of tests. we had all the tests under the earth (not in naija, so no blackout issues). Without physical intervention, we realised we were already a month pregnant whilst still waiting for test results to classify our ‘kind of infertility’. My point is that it will come if it is the lord’s will. No man or woman can keep what God has instore for you, be it carrying a child of your own, surrogacy or adopting (which we would have happily considered). i know it is easier said than done, but like one of the other comments said..do not avoid babyshowers etc..it will only make you feel more inadequate. you could be the best aunty/God mother in the world for now. Take care dear and keep smiling. To all the people (family and friends) making comments about you not having children yet…tell them to ask God the same question if they are really concerned. That should shut them up for a while.

  61. Christine

    March 13, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    Be patient me dear. You are a God’s leading lady. Remember Hannah in 1samuel in the bible she never had a child and God answered her prayers one day. Sara and Elizabeth also in the bible had children in old age. Our God is miracle working God and I can assure you he will see you through just contnue trusting in him

  62. Nma

    March 13, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    I recommend this book to any woman/man seeking the seed(s) of the womb: “You shall not be barren” by David O. Oyedepo. Get it at http://www.dominionbooksonline.com
    This book has given so many women their miracles just but applying the principles in the book, which is mainly faith AND rest.
    I see that you believe that God can, and will do it, but i sense that u are restless, and restlessness implies doubt. James:1:7. God will not fight for you until you are in a position of complete rest in him. Psalms:46:10. Hannah wanted a child for so many years, but instead of trusting and leaving all into God’s hands, she kept blaming everyone else, including God. Until she simmered down,poured out her heart, truly trusting God, and changed her countenance, she didn’t see her miracle child. 1Samuel:1:18. In one of Bishop Oyedepo’s books i’m reading titled; “Commanding the Supernatural” (another powerful book!) he says; “Some people think that their much worrying and crying will move God….God is not moved by tears of anxiety, which is always accusative in nature. He is moved only by His word.”
    The first time i discovered this, i began to apply this to my life and found it to be amazingly true. God can never ever lie, and always reminding him of His own words puts him in a position where it is necessary for him to act. He said in Isaiah:43:26; “Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.” Putting God in remembrance means reminding him of his promises….his words which he exalted highly above all else. It can not fail u! So instead of “waiting on the Lord”, U need to act, grab as many promises as applies to u in the bible, and keep reminding God of what he promised!…..He said that instead of his word not coming to pass, heaven and earth would rather be destroyed. U must claim it for yourself with all ur heart and might….and then rest and let the Lord give you what he promised.
    Psalms:127:3 says: “Lo, Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalms:128:1,3,6 also re-emphasizes this. And the Lord also declares that there shall be no barren in the Land! My darling….use ur bible concordance (they have free ones online too), locate these verses that apply to u and constantly meditate on them with faith. Praying alone without using words to backup the prayer is ineffective…. presenting God’s promises to him will make him act immediately, lest he is no longer God. When u wait, u waste. The time is now. I pray that God gives u the grace and direction to locate your blessings.
    Remember to buy the book i recommended: “You shall not be Barren” by David O. Oyedepo. http://www.dominionbooksonline.com

    many people who read it have cultivated their own bundles of joy by applying the principles within.

    I wish u God’s blessings, and above all, peace that passeth all understanding.

  63. Nma

    March 13, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    *praying alone, without using the “word of God” to back it up is ineffective….

  64. Pepe

    March 13, 2009 at 8:16 pm

    Why is your heart so troubled Mrs WOTL? I am in a similar situation. Like you I have had a very blessed life. I met my husband at university, got married and expected to live happily ever after. I was a virgin until my wedding night so no loose sex for me, I don’t drink or smoke, I have never taken risks with my health, I eat right, I exercise moderately, I have a stress-free life. Yet, I have been married for 4 years but have no children.

    Everybody is on my case. My dad is asking me questions, my mum is sending me prayer hankerchief, annointing oil, blessed baby clothes, etc on a regular basis. She is even accusing me that I am not praying and fasting enough. My in-laws are using all kinds of tricks to ask hubby and I if there is “any problem”, so that they can help us find a solution. My friends nko? Every time I call my friends in Nigeria, they ask me “are you pregnant yet?” or “when are you going to invite us to come and eat baby rice?” If I ask my friends why they haven’t come to visit us since we got married, they tell me they will visit when I have a baby. Even my ex-boyfriend too has asked me why I don’t have children yet, how do I answer such a stupid none-of-your-business question?

    But you know what? I am not worried and stressing myself over it. I learnt early in life that there are simply some things outside the control of anybody. Only God has ultimate control of the seasons of our lives.

    Shebi you have found a good man to marry? What would you say to those ladies who are in their late 30s still single and searching for their own husbands, who are still enduring one heartbreak and disappointment after another?

    You say you have been married two years. What would you say to the woman who has been married for 14 years? I personally know a couple who had been married for 12 years no child. They finally decided to try IVF and it failed the first time. While they were getting ready to try again the second time, BAM! the woman got pregnant naturally! She had a baby and the last time I saw her, the baby was two years old and the woman was heavily pregnant again.

    Please my dear, count your blessings.YOU have a wonderful supportive husband that GOD has blessed you with. You have your health. You have a blossoming career. You have friends and family. You have enough money to meet your needs. I’m not saying this is not a problem for you, but you sound like you have focused so much on what you don’t have that you have forgotten what you do have.

    Relax my dear. Take a deep breath and rejoice. Don’t let the devil steal your joy and peace of mind. Remember ONLY GOD gives children. Even if you worry and fret all day long, you cannot give yourself a child. The bible has several stories of women who waited for many years before they had children. Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, etc. Take comfort in the fact that the Lord has not forgotten you. He has a timetable for your life and He is never late. You and your husband just need to relax and hold on to God’s promises. Your children will come at the right time and when you look back, you will see that God’s timing was perfect all along.

  65. Lauretta

    March 13, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    Amen!! Common sense is not common..

  66. sylvia

    March 14, 2009 at 12:53 am

    sweetie pie,thank God u r a child of God,the bible says none shall be barren in the land,i believe it so strongly,keep the faith,it shall be well with u,yeah it s easier said than done but pls as much as u can,worry less bless u and pls do share the testimony when it happens ,note i said when not if,as the Lord liveth,it shall come to pass

  67. sylvia

    March 14, 2009 at 1:07 am

    Amazing!u r a bundle of testimony,thank God for ur life.

  68. nana

    March 14, 2009 at 4:13 am

    very touching. you seem to be doing all the right things. hope you get your baby soon.

  69. Sugabelly

    March 14, 2009 at 8:15 am

    Yeah, maybe you could carry your ADOPTED children in your arms by God’s grace.

  70. me

    March 14, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Spot on..God is ur strength..:)

  71. Jayla

    March 14, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    Really spot on, i know its difficult but there are seasons for everything so enjoy and be thankful for what you have and leave the rest to God.

  72. Tee

    March 14, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Dear WOTL,
    I’ve been greatly touched by your testimony. Testimony and not story because the best is yet to come and my dear concerning you, your latter will be greater than the first. I’m single at the moment and have to admit that I have never thought hard about not being able to conceive after marriage..I placed the plans for my future kids with the plans of my future home, husband etc nicely packed and wrapped in dreams…reading your story gave me a quick reality check…so though I may not know what you have been through, I know that this God we serve will not leave you high and dry. In fact He has promised to make a path in the widerness for you – wilderness – that place that nothing grows out of, that place that nothing but over heat and complaint comes from… but in your case it’s just the opposite.. for you it’s a place of neew growth, a place of streams of waters, a place where your leaves will never wither, a place where everything you do will prosper….thank you for sharing your testimony …I look forward to hearing of the victory.. keep holding on to the rock, He will never, never, never, never, never, never let you go…
    trust in Him only and He will direct your path…
    please be open to how He will bless you

  73. blj

    March 16, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    there’s one thing I want you to hold on to God’s word; it says there shall be no barren in the land; children are a gift from God, whoever has not been there can never know how it feels that’s why I don’t think I qualify to explain how you feel. keep trusting God, when you are in God’s waiting room, there’s absolutely nothing you can do, other than just to wait! until its your turn…

  74. JOY

    March 16, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Hello dearie,I feel u I was in dis situatn for over 10yrs before GOD said d expiry date has come.For evry situatn there is expiry date I dont even see it has a problem but a phase in life that will pass away.Worries, freting will not help matters but will affect ur health and will not aid conceptn.A woman died last year of kidney problem as a result of hypertention she got due to worries and anxiety over inability toconcieve
    Child or no child determine u have this life to live and u want to live it to the fullest.Nobody can make u happy but urself,determine to associate with pple that will make u happy and ignore places, pple or invitations that will give u depression .Hold on to GOD, relax,take ur medications b4 u know it it will happen.I determined to live child or no child and GOD did it. D same GOD will lead u right……………………Dont allow pple to feel sorry 4 keep ur smiles on and keep them wandering wat is the source of ur joy. love yah

  75. lulu

    March 16, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    can misss sugabelly please take a chill pill? yes we know you’ve advised her to try adoption but do you really have to plaster that after everyone’s comment? gee…you rub off so negatively in every comment, you sound like a very angry person….only those who it touches/affects can say where it hurts them..its quite easy to pontificate and go on about adoption but having made that suggestion can you please sit down in one corner..we really dont need to see you r advice/suggestion 20 times…girl we read you and i’m sure Mrs WOTL read it the first time…

  76. Kelechi Chukunyere

    March 17, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    lulu, well said.

  77. mina

    March 17, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    You are blessed for giving this advice mamanino, this is what i typed earlier but there was an error when i wanted to post it. Mrs. WOTL, heed to these words and receive your baby. Don’t turn down baby showers anymore, celebrate with others without jealousy, and see the great things that would happen for you.

  78. ladi

    March 20, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    Wow! i would consider you a very lucky person to be married to a nigerian man who is not giving u hell & still waiting for the fruit of the womb. Most nigerians would have had their inlaws clawing at their backs. It seems to me like your making this situation larger for yourself than it actually is. You have a loving husband and a good life, take pleasure in these and REST my dear! You r only 2 years in 2 marriage and already worried! i always tell myself that I dont want to get pregnant until at least 1 and a half to 2 years after marriage. i WANT 2 ENJOY TIME WITH MY HUSBAND ALONE B4 KIDS COME ON THE WAY. if u bother yourself of not conceiving yet, you will only ruin all d other fun things about married life. one of my favorite bible verses is Phil 4: 6-7. “Be anxious 4 NOTHING, but by PRAYER, PERSISTENCE & WITH THANKSGIVING make your request known unto God & the peace of God that passeth all understanding shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Anytime I get worried. I use [email protected] verse and I feel much better. do u remember how people say “don’t chase after a boyfriend, the best one comes when your not thinking about it.” Its the same way with preganancy. Your Gods child, it is HIS DESIRE for you to be fruitful and multiply. so he knows whats going on with you. He will make you pregnant at the time that is best. Also if it bothers you so so much, consider adoption. alot of women searching for the fruit of the womb for many years, decided to adopt and God eventually allowed them to be pregant. God may be using this incident to give you something better. I know our society puts stigma behind abortion but if you look at people in history…. “ADOPTED CHILDREN ALWAYS BECOME THE GREATEST IN LIFE!” Most of all just relax! You are giving yourself problems you do not need. You are not less of a woman because you havent conceived, you can only be less of a women if you don’t stand as the truthful and wonderful woman you know you are. When you worry, you lose this wonderfulness. Keep the faith!

  79. Nneka

    March 21, 2009 at 3:26 am

    lol! To say the very least: Stupid. Your personal insecurities shine through!! Blab on!

  80. Oge

    March 21, 2009 at 4:37 am

    i must confess ur story has really inspired me as a young lady… Our God is not asleep and he really watches over us and fights our battle. i wish you all the best in ur deliverance and a big congtrs to ur new baby Boy. God loves u

  81. Ada

    March 21, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Mrs WOTL,
    Its so easy for us to run to man when certain issues arise, but the 1st person we are to run to before the doctor and IVF is the Great Physician Himself, God. I say this even as a physician that I am (lol). God created you perfectly and whole, dont let the devil make u think otherwise. The word of God says that children are a blessing from the Lord, and it also goes on to say the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and He addeth no sorrow to it. It also goes on to say that no good thing will God withhold from them who walk uprightly with Him. (Ps 84:11). Now is the time to turn to God like you have never done before, to serve Him like you have never served Him before, to seek His face and not just His hand. Many times we expect from God, but we dont realize that He also expects from us…obedience in every area, and repentance when we stray. Its easy to say “I am waiting on the Lord” but my pastor one said that many times we say that without really understanding that “God is the one waiting on us”. The Word of God says that God has given us EVERYTHING that pertains to life and Godliness…children pertain to life. Many times He reminds us in the Word that “there shall be no barren in the land”, that we shall be blessed in the fruit of the womb. You might have to ask God for deliverance from previous sins even things you havent thought about, even the premarital sex between you and your husband, because even the Bible does say its a sin, even if the world doesnt. If at any time you might have committed an abortion, ask for forgiveness from God as well. Remember His ways are not our ways.
    The Bible is a solution manual to every issue in our lives, your case isnt uncommon to man, even in Biblical times, see how He did it for Sarah and Hannah and He’ll do the same for you. I notice someone recommended “You shall not be Barren” by Oyedepo and I also recommend the same. Before God brought u into this world, He knew everything that you would need and provided it ahead of time. God knew that you would need children and have provided them, but you have to work with Him in order to bring it to pass.

    Its easy to say “Keep the faith” but really lets not mistake faith in God with human hope, 2 different things. Real faith in God comes by hearing, and hearing comes from the Word of God. Many times we throw about Bible scriptures without really understanding the meaning that God wants us to get from it, or without it settling in our hearts that it is God’s promise to you. Its sad that many of us will take any grain of salt an IVF specialist (no offense to my colleagues) over the Word of God. No IVF specialist can make a woman with only 1 tube give birth to fraternal twins (boy and girl), but I know someone who is a living testimony. No IVF specialist can understand why a woman with 2 damaged ovaries got pregnant, but I have a God for whom nothing is impossible. I can go on and on about personal cases that I know.
    You have to work out your faith with God, God wants you to have a child even more so than you yourself want, so go to Him and seek a way out. Remember fear and faith dont mix, and without faith you can never receive what you desire from God. This is the same advice I gave to my aunt who has been trying for 15yrs and who has done IVF a couple of times. With God, there can never be a plan B, you cant look at God and look at man, and be expecting to receive from Him. God wants to receive ALL the glory, He wants you to know its Him and Him alone that did it, if not then we’ll be giving all the praise to that expert Dr somebody who did such a wonderful job. So you cannot be waiting on Him, and running everywhere.
    It is well with you in Jesus name.

  82. Sugabelly

    March 24, 2009 at 9:11 am

    Riiiiiight. Well maybe I sound like an angry person but at least what I am saying is true. There are CHILDREN out there DYING EVERY DAY because they have NOONE to take care of them, and all of you are telling her to wait ten years to have a child. It’s disgusting. You Lulu need to stop obsessing. A CHILD IS A CHILD IS A CHILD. An adopted child is just as special as a biological one, so instead of giving out bad advice why not face the truth. There are CHILDREN EVERYWHERE. They are all over the place. Granted they might not have come out of you, but they are there, desperate to be loved and cared for.

    Yes, praying is all well and good, but if you want a child badly enough then any child will do.

    And as for me writing the same thing over again, what about the remaining 70 something comments here that are pretty much all saying the same thing: Pray hard, don’t worry, in twenty years you’ll have a child and then you can testify in church.

    I don’t know about you, but I think adoption is the sensible thing to do. There are many means to an end. And the end is a child, is it not?

    Geez.

  83. TripleA

    March 26, 2009 at 7:10 am

    The truth is we are to pray to God in accordance with His will, and believe that we will receive what we ask for. God only asks for a mustard seed size faith. That said, REAL FAITH (in God) is when you pray according to scripture, fast, profess…. and you can still declare that God is God whether or not he provides fruit of the womb. I hate to say that but it is true.

    I am a christian and I believe in miracles, I believe in waiting on God. But for every testimony of a prayer that God has answered … there are prayers that God did not answer. Prayers made my faith filled men and women.

    My point is this: Trust God, love God no matter what. We serve Him because his is good, and there is no other God but Him. We don’t serve God for the benefits.

    Continue to pray, believing that you will recieve. And bless God at all times!

  84. mimi

    April 4, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    Hi dear,
    i advice you to wait on the Lord, i believe he will do it for you soon.
    Try sleeping with ur hubby during your menstral period it has worked for people.
    I wish you goodluck.

  85. teekay

    April 14, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    God bless U pepe, loving ur Spirit. And to all, encourage urselves in the Lord at al times. Some situations are beyond us humans and that is why we are human beings. Leave it to God to play as He wishes, He has the perfect plans and designs for all situations. To Mrs WOTL, I feel U but I tell u, relax, enjoy ur mate and bless the Lord for the gift of life and health. Weeping may endure 4 the night but joy comes in the morning, the night will not stay put and stop the morning from coming, it may only seem long but will surely come. Feel u sista but bless Him all the same.

  86. poosh

    April 26, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    thank u soooooo much for these encouraging and inspiring words. it couldnt av come at a better time for me.God bless u loads

  87. poosh

    April 26, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Daer wodl,
    relax and hope only on God and be sure to share your testimony soon.

  88. 22

    April 26, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    Dear Wodl
    relax and hope only on God and be sure to share ur testimony soon.

  89. bebe

    April 29, 2009 at 8:47 am

    I am in the same situation, still believing God for a child i have been married for three years.There are up and down days, but in all we give God thanks.Its very easy for someone not in the situation to encourage.Joy congrats.Someone mentioned that she doesnt plan on having a child in the 1st two years of marriage, thats what i wanted initially,to hav my husband to myself and know about eaxh other before the kids come. Now that the kids are not yet here, i am wondering if its because i made comments like that, that i have no child yet.God knows best and thereis a learning process in everything

  90. walataza

    May 12, 2009 at 9:26 am

    All i have to say is,just give thanks to God that u’re still alive..a yoruba adage says..”omi danu,agbee o foo..ti agbee ba fo nkan,ko le bu omi mo”..means a calabash that tilts and gets the water in it emptied can still take in or hold water,but if the calabash is broken,it cant take in anymore water,u’re still alive,so u can conceive..more so,u neva know if God is keeping ur kids from danger..wot if the kids come and something evil happens..think about this..finally i have a family friend that came to my christening,i’m 25 now though,dat was in 1984 and they dint conceive until around mid-nineties or so..how bout dat..just put all on God,may you never cry over the children God gives you(that would be worse)..wish you all the best..1 more thing(not really sure how this is done,but i read that when u have sex,lay on ur back for a while before standing up and all that,look into this too..do take kia..God is with thee..cheers

  91. fafi

    May 24, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    God gives at the right time… cus his name has to be glorified….

  92. Dami

    June 4, 2009 at 2:20 am

    Devil is a liar! he doesnt want me to post this information but he has failed! my darling sister, i would just BEG you to visit a sanctuary of God in nigeria where God is. please please go to Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries. my dear, that is a not a problem for God, go there! is it only children you want? God will not only give u children, he wil prosper and lots more. please do all that they ask u to do and believe in God. l can assure u that u will laugh last. DO NOT DISREGARD THIS INFORMATION IT IS FROM GOD!

  93. Let me

    June 4, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Why are you like this?

  94. ogoo

    June 13, 2009 at 4:32 am

    my dear dont panic, am in the same shoe with u., but i ´v vow nothing on earth ´ll separate me from the love & JOY OF THY LORD. deut 7 vs 14 said there shall be no male or female barren among us,GOD is not man that he should lie. he is a covenant keeping GOD .my parents had us 4girls & the other 3 had finished giving birth in their husband house, but my own case is different despite the fact that i was among 2nd to last. GOD has a special assignment with me, HE want to lift me to a certain level. so right now am in my wilderness expectig my peculiar children. so my sister cast all ur trust on GOD not on man understandings that fails. ask GOD to grant u grace to carry the cross till his appointed time 4 ur childrens. dont murmur , dont faint it must surelly come to pass. u must multiply in JESUS NAME AMEN.

  95. T

    August 23, 2009 at 9:14 am

    I pray God bless you with what you desire soonest Amen

  96. T

    August 23, 2009 at 9:24 am

    Jen you are displaying the sign of a bitter woman. Don’t worry God will provide for you a husband.

  97. Efe Iruobe

    September 11, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    One thing I am happy about your story is that you got closer to God. Absolutely nothing can undermine the importance of His prescence in our lives cos it makes all the difference.

    My dear, it will come, sooner than you expect but you have to BELIEVE that it will. The simplicity of believing makes it seem elusive especially if one is fighting against all odds which you are not. NEVER allow fear to creep in. Your thoughts, words and actions must show your expectation of your babies.

    It is well with you! I remember you in my prayers.

  98. yaki

    September 27, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Ppl go thru waiting in every aspect of our lives,it could be for a job, life partner , financial breathru or the fruit of the womb like you.What is important is ow we make use of the wait. Trust God and His word completely. Keep yoursef busy, do things you always wanted to do and sooner than you tink you will have a miracle.He has done it for others, you are no exception.Read this book ‘GOD’S WAITING ROOM.

  99. funke

    September 28, 2009 at 10:46 am

    my aunt has been in those shoes for up to 22yrs now, sometimes i look at her and i am wondering what she thinks, but God hass been on her side, cause her husband has never for once strayed, so only God can do it at the appropriate time, remain steadfast in him, pray against temptation and being at the wrong placeand watch him do the best. wait on the lord

  100. Tee

    October 7, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    My dear sister, there is nothing God can not do. I believe, this is just one of those times God is teaching patience. I tried for a child for one and a half years. I had countless doctor’s appointments but there was nothing wrong with me, neither was there anything wrong with my hubby. We were both healthy young adults. At some point, I just decided to stop worrying about it and continue doing the things I wanted to do while I still had the free time. My last obgyn referred me to a specialist but i kept postponing because I kept believing there was nothing wrong and that I would conceive on my own. anyway, I succumbed and decided to see this fertility specialist. The guy ran tests to start the process and found out that I had already conceived. God had done His job without anyone’s help. Just leave everything to Him, He knows no impossibilities. I will recommmend this book as well…’Taking care of your fertility’…arming yourself with information makes a world of difference. I conceived the month after i read this book.
    Take care.

  101. ig

    October 10, 2009 at 2:04 am

    Daughter of Zion…it’s well with you,I am a young man and has gone through lot’s which has helped me to see and understand the Omnipotency of God.I virtually lost my mind for one whole year but God still stepped in to deliver me.I am so sure He can for you.But I must tell you that the mind is the battle ground for anything you desire in life including babies…Your Mind!What you accept and believe in your mind consciously or unconscoiusly co-ordinates your life.So what then is the solution? You must consciously renew your mind with the “TRUTH”,many of our fears are facts,many of the insinuations,reports are facts.Facts may fail but TRUTH never fails.You are a believer I know,but you must take a step further by renewing your mind daily with the word of God,pulling down those little doubts,fear and double mindedness.As you renew your mind daily with the truth(the word of God),your confidence and faith is built up to believe what He says…”that none shall be barren in thy Land” Exo23:26.As you read this I see every hindrances to your fruitfullness destroyed in Jesus Name.

  102. Ifeoma

    October 19, 2009 at 11:53 am

    I suggest that you take these steps, it might help
    1. Think back, have you sone anything u tink might have caused this. If yes, report to ur doctor immediately. If NO, then;
    2. Meet your husband at the right time (you know wat i mean)
    3. Dont give up. Patience is a virtue.

  103. Linda Lopez

    November 19, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    Lady, don’t worry. I got married in April of this year, and I have been tryin’ ever since. My parents and inlaw are already bugging about us having kids. We are trying but I kno God has a purpose 4 everythin. When He decides to give, it’ll be 4 gud cuz God’s gift addeth no sorrow 2 it. Be patient, keep on looking 2 Jesus who is the author and finisher of your faith. He’ll definitely do it. I’ll put u in prayers.

  104. Emeka

    December 11, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    My wife and i have been married for over three years without a child and i can really relate with how you are feeling.But you know what?God is on the throne and i pray and know one day he will definetely do it for all of and other couples looking up to him.Pls keep the faith and be strong

  105. ask

    June 7, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    people kindly ignore jen, she has a track record for trying her very best to annoy, she obviously suffers from ADH and always seeks to draw attention to herself. She is probably too immature to understand or identify with the issues being addressed Madam say ur piece and leave the arena for people others who have genuine intentions for giving advice, we do not need self seeking advisers. In future when mature people are talking pls refrain from joining in.

  106. ask

    June 7, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Sugar belly, i know ur type, u presume u know everything and champion the case for every or anything even if it doesn’t make sense. just refrain from being a nuisance and concentrate on annoying urself. we have heard ur piece, so pls move on to other things. learn to empathise and not mouth off advise. adoption is good but im not sure Mrs is ready to explore that option. stop rubbing it in. are u out of ur teens yet, either that or issues that affect the emotional and spiritual health of others are nt with ur realm of understanding.

  107. marie

    July 22, 2010 at 9:46 am

    my dear one
    am sure you r tired of hearing peeps saying God is in control
    just be patient..u r still young..etc
    i know they are right but the question is
    are u willing to jst sit down and wait till thy kingdom come?
    you have to do something!
    i seriously support what sugarbelly(or so..) said
    if u adopt, ur body will be relaxed becus ur not obsessing abt it anymore
    d joys of being a new mom will overshadow that emptyness trust me
    and in no tyme u will hav ur own baby! i wish u d best. may God answer ur prayers

  108. xtianbabe

    September 17, 2010 at 12:05 am

    Dear Mrs WOTL, I feel u, as I have also been trying for almost a year. We have been to the doctors and they have told us nothing is wrong. I have now reached the stage of having no choice but to trust in God.
    Leave it all to Him girl, since He has commanded us to go forth and multiply; our wombs have no choice but to obey! Jesus Christ is Lord, Amen!

  109. Adenike

    October 18, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    Your time would come when you least expect. But you need to maintain a very relaxed state of mind, eat well (loads of fruit and vegetables) and exercise. You would be surprised at what would happen. I can’t overstress the importance of eating well and exercising. It can also be very helpful to take evening primrose. And try angles that allow deep penetration. All the best.

  110. MOO

    May 26, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    Please wait on God and keep praying with the word> its is written that you will not be barren. Also that your children will sorround your table and call you blessed. Hold on to these words and confess it. Please buy your baby things and give names to your babies now. It is well with you in Jesus Name.

  111. nechi

    March 8, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    God is in control

  112. glow

    March 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    God is able. Be ancious 4 notin.Practice talkin to ur body everyday,tell ur tommy dat it will bring forth children everyday,if d clouds be full of rain dey empty demselves upon d earth,saturate ur clouds wit d rain of ur desire & dere’s gonna be a flood.as 4 kellendra God can fix anytin jst let Him fix ur ovaries and dey will bring forth children.

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