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FRIDAY TRACK: Smart Money is on…Shutting Up!



TRM_LogoKilon Sparkles!

We know we are all largely advocates of speaking and preaching the truth but sometimes we must learn to shut the mouthpiece up. Very often, friends forget that as much as you may have shared STDs false alarm in the past, it don’t mean you should kuku now take each other to the scrap yard.

The truth is the average human being fishes for compliments from just about anything that’ll dish it; from the red lizard who gives you a jerking nod to the Caliente bartender who hails you whenever you order your vodka and cranberry. Compliments sound even better when you know you are more Omotola than Naomi Campbell but hey, if someone’s willing to dish it – genuine or otherwise – it’s like Simon Cowell just made you his money-counter for the month.

But what happens when you get a compliment that you don’t like?

You know the type of compliment that makes your legs quiver in shock, the type that makes a certain 4-letter word spring fast to mind as you try to compose yourself, the type that makes you look at your knuckles and picture its dent on the jive-talker’s cheek.

We all like to look good, and don’t give me that contrary bollocks cause even to buy a pint of milk from your local off-licence you find that you brush your hair for Vitaj at the till, ladies.

Making an appearance is important and looking your best is good for both you and your self esteem, which is why it can be difficult when you put on your best ensemble to meet with friends, only to be greeted with “…what are you wearing…?”

I must admit sometimes one will get it wrong, you will make that bold calculated fashion risk that just doesn’t justify its social status ROI but unless you shop for both your day and evening wear at the Gap – chances are you will get those moments every now and then. After all you can’t always get it right, right?

But seriously, if you do indeed get it wrong, is it in your friend’s or anyone’s place to comment?

Since we’ve all jumped on the ‘A true friend will tell you the truth’ bandwagon, we forget that it isn’t our place to make a comment on everything. A friend could choose to wear a box of Kellogg’s round his head if he chooses, if he is your friend you take the piss out of him for 2 minutes (if you must!) then carry on.

As educated people, something we all must appreciate is the power of difference – the capacity to embrace each other and if someone or something that they do isn’t for you then just ignore it, you don’t have to make a comment on it.

Instead some of us allow the likes of Perez Hilton to teach us how to communicate with our friends so we answer each other with ‘Hey Bitch’, call each other ‘a hot mess’ for fun, it’s no surprise that we have all forgotten where to draw the respect line.

We all claim to love and do anything for our friends but do we actually respect our friends? We all say this friend is like family and the other is like that but we all forget the most important thing that keeps a friendship alive is mutual respect; respecting their person, their choices, their beliefs.

Instead, we focus on the trivial and turn ourselves into volunteer recruits of the materialistic police – watching, stake outing, handcuffing each other and everything with a garment on. Where do we draw the line?

We are all guilty either we choose to admit it or not. We are all too familiar with that morning-after gist download to a friend about the night before and who was where, who did what and who wore what. At some point in the conversation one of you will probably asked “…so what was x wearing…” quickly followed with “….who asked her to wear that…?” you know what I’m talking about ladies.

Or after praying to God for forgiveness in Church for hours on Sundays, you get home to your copy of ThisDay Style and you look through with “…eww, what is she wearing..?.” programmed all over your brain.

The truth is sometimes it’s just best to shut the hell up and zip it. And if we decide to deal in fashion trivia – clothes are clothes, they don’t offend anybody. Just because you don’t understand why a man would wear a Kurt Cobain styled Cardigan doesn’t mean it doesn’t look good and just because something doesn’t make sense to you doesn’t mean it needs to be analyzed. As Rukky’s Frock so rightly explained months ago, its fashion and it doesn’t have to make sense.

And that’s the truth, Ruth!

This week’s Friday Track is from L-Boogie and I really avoid getting excited whenever new music leaks onto the internet from her cause fans are quick to dub it ‘the comeback single’ so I’m just gonna say listen to the alleged new music from Lauryn Hill, this track is titled “Repercussion”. Click to Listen



  1. missy_spectacular

    July 30, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    so true!
    BTW 1st to comment YAY!!!!

  2. Yt "Boss"

    July 30, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    So, so true! I really enjoy your articles as they are easy to relate to. A friend just asked me last Wednesday why i was wearing a knit top. Her reasoning was: “Its summer so knits, cardigans and the like should be out”. My reply-“I’m not hot, fashion police” shut her up but the short exchange got me thinking. It is much nicer to appreciate people than otherwise. They are delighted to talk to you after a compliment and will likely remember how much they like you at that moment, after all you catch more flies with honey than vinegar 🙂 That is not to say lies should come tripping off your tongue when your peps are not well turned out. You can do the sensible thing and shut up!

  3. rj

    July 30, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    lol @ that’s the truth, Ruth..Like the song frm Sunny Neji says ‘Wetin we go do
    my brother o wey they no go talk’..

  4. beezy

    July 31, 2010 at 7:46 am

    This article speaks to me soooooooo much….. especially this line “”it’s no surprise that we have all forgotten where to draw the respect line””…….
    I always end up looking like i’m too stiff with friends when I refuse to accept crossed lines…
    Respect people….. thats the watchword!!!
    Luvly piece as usual…..

  5. dami

    July 31, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    While I really enjoy reading Bobo’s subjects, his curious topics…and his sense of humor, I think he tends to get too long winded and talks to much that I just start browsing through the article looking for the main points. It’s like I need auto-summarize to read the piece or something.

    I think you should establish a “number of words” limit and only exceed it if you ABSOLUTELY have to, after sifting out the “disposables” from the article.

    Just a thought….

  6. bcgeorge

    August 2, 2010 at 10:41 am

    thr is a thin line btw simply airing ur opinions & been downright disrespectful…so many times peeps are just d latter….i have dis ”tailor-lo-ran”( pronounced lyk ralph lauren)suit wc i used fr a friend’s weddin..d sewing and fabric wr jst too fantastic, evry1 wnts to knw whr i got it and who made it…..i told a particular guy in my ofis dat i made it in lagos island..he jst hissed…jst imagined dat….evry gud stuffs dnt av to com wit a tag on it.
    peace y’all

  7. taio

    August 3, 2010 at 2:57 am

    I’ve to say I agree with comment #5, about the long-windedness. Anyway…

    Mr. Author, I agree with some of the things you mentioned in your article and I
    think they make sense but what I fail to understand is this attack at women. I
    know that might be a strong word but I really am at a loss for words. All I see
    are feminine adjectives and words like her, she, ladies. Seriously, cut the
    chauvinist BS out and address the matter at hand. Thank you.

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