The other day, I was on my way home from work on a BRT bus when a lovely looking lady got on the bus at the National Stadium Surulere and sat beside me. There was something special about this particular girl; I mean she was positively glowing. It was obvious that she had just gotten her hair done; you know those big, long braids that you women do…or is it Ghana weaving you call it? Her make-up was fresh, her full lips all glossed up, her perfume was of the fruity type and as it hit me I almost fell into a swoon. I took a look at her hands and feet, nicely done nails and clean feet shod in a pair of fine slippers. She wore one of those long dangling silver earrings, a frilly, orange top and black pants. Wow! For the next twenty minutes or so I was in heaven.
As I rode beside her, I stole quick glances at her, but I didn’t say a word to her. I enjoyed her company, her presence in total silence. You see it is not all the time that I am fortunate to sit next to someone as good looking. I have sat next to all sorts of people and some of the time it wasn’t nice! In between stolen glances, my mind wandered to how easily attracted I was to women who, as I like to put it “clean up good.” For me, it simply meant that a woman who could take the pains to look her best at all times must be a “perfectionist” in other areas of her life.
At university, my roommate and I used the same analogy to determine if the girls we met were clean. We would look at their hands and feet. Our theory was that if a girl had clean hands, manicured nails, clean feet and nice toe nails, despite the dust and all, then she must be clean where it mattered most! Call us names but we invariably were right. Those girls with clean hands, more often than not were always neat and tidy looking, from their hair to their shoes or sandals. Little wonder we used to hang around the medical students’ hostels, for we noticed that the female student doctors always cleaned up good! Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that they were studying anatomy, physiology, biochemistry etc. Till today the cleanest, neatest, creamiest women I have ever met were doctors. Even today I still use the same standards, I check out hands and feet. No, it’s not a fetish, but I use it as a guide. I have had conversations regarding this issue with my friends, men and women alike and all agreed.
Every man will tell you he likes his woman to “clean up” good. Although a few men are actually intimidated by these women because they think that they are high maintenance, I personally see it as a huge bonus when a woman walks into a room looking incredibly beautiful. I also know of some guys who go to great lengths to make sure that their women look their utmost at every occasion. From paying for human hair to buying the very latest accessories these men don’t play! But the truth is, even as they try, they say that they would prefer if it came naturally from their girls.
Even women too like for their men to hold their own in terms of physical appearance. A good female friend of mine once refused to date a particular guy because he always had dirty fingernails. She also confided in me that she preferred her men clean shaven and always found a way to make them get regular cuts at the barbers.
So I wonder sometimes why when we all agree that we like our other halves to look good, some of us let ourselves go especially after we get married. I’ve seen men who after marriage suddenly grow a beer gut overnight. They put on so much weight and the seams of their trousers are literally crying out for help. It’s almost as if they retire their once designer filled wardrobe and instead prefer to wear the same white traditional outfit and loosely fitted t-shirt repeatedly. Women are also guilty of this. The man wakes up one morning and doesn’t recognise the woman he fell in love with. He brings it up and she says she doesn’t have time or the money. Personally, I think it’s a lack of effort especially in the case of some married women.
Truth is we all should take the effort to look good, every time. Why? Because we cannot afford not to! We are all moved by what we see and we love to see beautiful things. I can only speak from a guys point of view and I know without doubt that men are first of all attracted by what they see, so there is no need kidding yourself with the “if he really likes me he will like me for me and not my outward appearance” excuse. I know us guys like to think that you are doing it for us, but you should do it more for yourselves than anything else. So go get your hair done, redo as soon as it starts to get frazzled; grow your nails or get your nails done; shape NOT remove, your eyebrows; invest in some light make-up and lip gloss; dress up stylishly and smartly. Mehn! As my Warri brothers would say, “Your coming out no go get part two!”